Book 4 - Schemer of the Scalding Sands: Chapter 36; Feelings Long Held

The screen turns on as the next chapter title plays "Chapter 36; Feelings Long Held".

During Jamil's passed out state after his overblot, Yuu was drawn into his subconscious or perhaps a dream thing that happened during their overblot, their internal struggle just as the three before.

It starts with a flashback when the Scarabia duo were younger.

It was seen through Jamil's eyes, he was walking down a shadowy almost palace hallway with windows lining up on the left side and pillars making a walkway.

A younger shadow Kalim excitedly runs up to him and shouts "Hey, Jamil! Let's play! I'm gonna beat you at that board game today!" Jamil shakes his head before asking him "This again, Kalim? You know I'm just going to keep winning. Can we play something else instead?"

It looked like Kalim was about to reply, but Jamil's mother, which was nothing more than a black silhouette, smacked the back of Jamil's head as she scolded him "Jamil! Don't you take that tone with Master Kalim!" Jamil winces in pain and brings a hand up to his head where he was hit and rubs it while saying "Ow!"

Jamil's father is also there, and he is also only a black silhouette, he bows to the younger Kalim while telling him "Master Kalim, thank you for playing with our foolish son." Jamil's mother also compliments Kalim "You're kind enough to share your company. Truly, you've been brought up well."

…

It then cuts away from the memory to an older Jamil standing in a white void with shadows surrounding him.

Text boxes appear around him as well. The first box says "My very first memory as a child" then the next one "was seeing my family bow" before the third one "before Kalim and his parents."

The Jamil figure crosses his arms as the old boxes disappear and two new ones appear. The first says "I couldn't stand" then the second "the sight of it."

…

It then cuts to another hallway again as Jamil's parents instruct him.

Jamil's father tells him "Listen, Jamil. You must always win twice and lose thrice when competing with Kalim. You must never outdo him at anything." His mother then tells him "I know you're a smart boy. Surely you understand the position we're in?" The younger Jamil sighs and looks down in sadness before he tells them "...Fine."

…

Then back to that white void with the boxes, this round there are three of them. The first says "Kalim's parents were far more important than mine." The second "Therefore…" And the third "Kalim was more important than me."

Those boxes disappear as three more show up in their place. The first "Which meant…" then the second "Whether in studies, or exercise, or games…" then the third "I could never do better than Kalim."

Those three disappear and two more take their place. The first "I had to keep myself beneath him." then the second "I had to pretend I was incapable."

…

It then cuts to another flashback where a younger Kalim is excitedly running up to Jamil and shouting "Jamil, look! I won the first prize at the festival dancing contest!"

…

It then fades to black for a second as it switches to a different memory. Kalim laughed as he excitedly shouted "I did it! I won, three to two!"

…

It fades to black again for a second, but this time it's in a black, white, and gray Scarabia, as an older still shadow Kalim happily shouts "I scored a 75 on the magic history test you helped me study for, Jamil!" He then asked in a surprised tone "What? You got a 70?" He then tries to give Jamil encouragement "Hey, it's okay! Cheer up!"

…

It then cuts back to the white void as two boxes with text appear. The first "You're not beating me." then the second "I'm just letting you win."

Those two boxes disappear as two more replace them. The first "Look at you, smiling obliviously." then the second "Get a clue, you dunderhead!"

…

It then goes to another flashback at Scarabia as Kalim gets awarded the housewarden position. Kalim seems slightly confused as he asks "Me? Housewarden of Scarabia? I don't know what that entails, but sure! You can count on me." He then turns his head and asks "Right, Jamil?"

…

It then fades to black for a second as it changes to a different memory, this time in a black, white, and gray headmage's office with a black silhouette of the headmage sitting on his chair behind his desk. Jamil asks him "Headmage, why are you making Kalim housewarden? He's a poor magician, and more to the point, he's just a sophomore. I've got my hands full cleaning up after him as it is." The headmage states "A sophomore housewarden is hardly unheard-of at Night Raven College."

Jamil tries to say something "But…-" Yet he's cut off as the headmage addresses him "Viper."

He then explains to Jamil "Providing education comes with costs. And your young friend's family has been quite generous in their support. It places me in a position where I must make certain…compromises. You're a clever student. Surely you understand what that means."

…

It then cuts back to the white void, but there is only one box "All the grown-ups tell me the same thing."

The box disappears as two more take it's place. The first one says in quotation marks ""Surely you're smart enough to understand."" Then the second "But who's trying to understand ME?"

…

It then cuts to the black and white Scarabia as the Kalim silhouette tells him "We'll keep helping each other out, Jamil!"

It then goes back to the white void, where there is only one text box "Stop."

…

It then goes to another moment, as Kalim says "I know you'd never betray me, Jamil." with a softer smile.

It then goes back to the white void as Jamil is clutching at his head with the memories as there is but a single text box saying "Just stop!"

…

Jamil then curls into a much more fetal position as the boxes appear one after another. "Kalim, your mere existence means that I…" "I…" "I have to live my whole life deferring everything to you!" "I…" "I want…"

There is then a small pause as all the other boxes disappear and only one is left saying "I want to be number one, too…"

…

Kalim's voice is then heard calling out "Jamil… JAMIL!"

…

Yuu is then pulled back to the real world.

The screen fades to black as "To be continued" plays before fully turning off.