I still do not know

"No no no!!! This is not true"

I got up, feeling completely numb, I lifted myself hard from the pillow and my heart was beating so fast, "Am I dead? No... I didn't die but... Was that even a dream? No, I can't believe it was just a dream." ...or...or just a nightmare..."

I lowered my legs from the bed and my heart was still beating fast, I squeezed it hard and my tears flowed uncontrollably... "Just one moment, who is Haitani Ran... and who is Pontine, these things can't exist in this world right? Yes? ... it's not true."

It was a horrible dream that managed to control all my senses and feelings, I even started to feel like I love someone who doesn't even exist, I feel stupid, how can this happen to me, I just want to go back to sleep I feel that this is my reality and not this, this Reality only seems like a happy dream to me, yeah happy, no pontin... no haitani ran... no rape

I don't know but I smiled a little and I'm glad none of that actually happened when I was still a little girl.

I stepped from the bed towards the tall mirror and stared at my body as I touched it softly as if I were touching a piece of gold.

"Thank you, my God... it was a dream."

I went down to drink water and then went to my parents' room to check on them and they were sleeping quietly and then I went to my younger sister's room, who slept deeply. Not better than our normal life at all.

I went back to my room and the blanket lifted me over my body and on my bed I slept and closed my eyes as if I were in a great paradise, I did not dream after that, but I woke up to the sound of my little sister trying to pull me out of bed as she was holding my leg and dragging her hard. "Raylene! Sister, wake up! Come on, you have to wake up. It's morning and my mother wants you!"

Seeing her in this way made me smile, so I got up and pulled her on the bed to joke with her, laughing and screaming until our eyes cried.

We went down and had breakfast with my family when it was eight in the morning, I was never happier in my life than I was on that day, I started my day going to university, yes I remembered that I was in the first year of university I was still only nineteen...

Everything went normally until Raylene arrived at the university that day and she was more active and energetic than the rest of the days even her friends were feeling weird about her behavior but Raylene didn't care and she finished her first lectures so she went to the cafeteria for lunch and sat down with a smile with her friends and said "Today I will pay, You won't need to pay!"

She said enthusiastically, and her friend who was sitting next to her calmly replied, "Raylen, don't you feel strange today?"

Raylene pulled her hair back and put it behind her ear

A smile never left her lips and she leaned her back on the chair and said in a calm and happy tone, "I had a very bad nightmare yesterday, so I feel lucky with the life I'm living now. No problems, no fighting, no drugs, no gangs... It's going great here."

"Oh, no, for me, I want enthusiasm in my life. I don't want to stay like this." Her friend who was excited about it interrupted her and curled her face with her hands excitedly and shyly. "Like a gang boss kidnapping me and then he'll love me and then marry me.. Ah, that's so cool, to be so handsome and tall." And he has a body full of muscles." Rayleen's smile changed and she felt as if she remembered everything that happened in the dream as if it were a previous life to her. Between her rosy lips covered in red lipstick and her eyes towards the empty plate in front of her, her friends noticed her eyes, which seemed to have something like this. One of them said, "Raylene, did a gang boss rape you while you were under threat? Your words don't sound natural at all, you look like you've been through something like this before? Please tell me I'm wrong."

Raylene was silent, then smiled and hit her friend who was trying to ask her because she was worried about the way Raylene was talking. Slowly, his eyes were slow, and those looks did not leave her eyes, and she felt that he really grabbed her waist and that he had actually raped her.

"Girls, I think I'm going to go to the bathroom for a bit and come back.. I feel a little dizzy."

Raylene went to the bathroom quickly and her friends were looking at her strangely and still behaving strangely from what she used to be, but in the bathroom she was looking at herself in the woman after she had washed her face and dried it with a tissue, and then rearranged her face by applying lipstick, " Raylene, that Haitani Run is Whoever made your imagination stop these illusions, he does not exist and will not rape you and will not approach you because you are talking about a person who does not exist in the first place!

She left the bathroom too quickly and told her friends that she didn't want to finish her meal and went straight to the door without talking to anyone else.

"I was in a shocking situation. I don't know if my happiness was temporary when I woke up or if I started to fear something that doesn't even exist... I feel really lost, what if this is a dream and that's the reality?!"

Thoughts ate her head, fear and tension, and the thought that separated her from the outside world took her feet outside the university, and she walked without noticing into the street where the traffic light was for cars and Raylene didn't notice that she was in the middle of the street until she saw a car in front of her hitting her and throwing her on the ground.