The Death Gods (3)

It's in this moment that Haalfrin stirs back awake. The first thing he sees is a gorgeous woman with black hair and brown freckles and light brown skin, as well as an elderly gentleman standing over him.

"I think he's awake, old man!" The woman calls out.

The old gentleman is dressed in a strange, foreign suit with a monocle over one eye and a wide, grey mustache that stretches wider than his cheeks. The woman has brown skin darker than his, yet lighter than a Kareen's.

Of course, Haalfrin had seen these figures well enough over the years to recognize them… but he'd never seen them THIS close before.

Seeing these two people, Haalfrin freezes up and looks away from them.

The woman sees Haalfrin's movement and narrows her eyes. She gets down on her knees and puts her face right in front of Haalfrin's. "I can't see her… I can't see her…" Haalfrin thinks frantically.

Freyya's hair then droops over Haalfrin's face, and some of her silky strands tickle the bottom of his nose, and he instinctually swats the hair away.

"Aha!" Freyya calls out, "he can see us!"

Haalfrin looks to the side and notes that Das is just looking at his book – clearly not surprised.

Freyya notices Das's apathy as well, so she jabs him in the knee. "Dude! Did you already know about this?"

Das puts a bookmark in his book, slams it shut with one hand, adjusts his monocle, and says, "What? I caught him staring a couple times. The way he tried to pretend he couldn't see us was kind of adorable, so I never said anything."

Suddenly feeling very tired, Haalfrin lets his head fall back to the ground. "So," Haalfrin asks weakly, "Aren't you guys going to take my soul yet?"

"Eh… about that," Das answers, "I'm actually very sorry for the mix up. I'm afraid your soul is my jurisdiction, but Freyya here nearly took you instead. That's why we both bothered to show up."

"So… does that mean YOU'RE taking me today?" Haalfrin asks Das. "Did my old heart actually give out first or something?"

Das shakes his head, "I'm afraid that's the problem. You weren't supposed to die today, but your will to live - or lack thereof - made your spirit's connection to your body barely noticeable. Freya must have mistaken you for another dead body."

"Oi!" Freyya protested, "I didn't, I-"

"I had to come here even on my day off," Das continues– completely ignoring Freyya, "so pardon me if I come across as a bit snappish."

Haalfrin just gawked at Das's words. Kind smiles and polite speech… "If this is snappish," he thought, "then is Das normally some perfect saint?"

The old raider just shakes his wandering thoughts out and decides to ask more important questions. "What about my clan? What happened to them?"

Freyya shakes her head, "They're all dead." She holds up her black lantern. "They're in here." Ignoring Haalfrin's depressed look, she continues, "I see that your comrades' souls are weighed down with misdeeds. Normally, we give souls to the Death King to become his citizens, but evil souls like these belong to their reaper."

"Freyya!" Das scolds her sternly. "Be sensitive."

Haalfrin seems undisturbed by what Freyya said, so he asks some more. "What do you do with them? Are they stuffed in your basement and…"

"Huh… Yeah, no." Freyya interjects with her hands on her hips. "Where would I find room for all those souls in my basement? No, I just set them to work. There are plenty of demons and necromancers for them to fight. I just set them on loose the Death King's enemies and forget about them, really."

Freyya perks up out of nowhere and says, "A battle just happened elsewhere. I'm off." She spreads her wings and takes off into the sky – disappearing in a cloud of black smoke.

Now that the Crow is gone, Das smiles and sits down. He conjures a tea set out of thin air and offers Haalfrin a cookie to go along with it.

Das gives an amused smile at Haalfrin's perturbed expression. "It's not poisoned, little lad. Just take it."

Haalfrin sits up and takes the cup carefully with both hands, and he tastes a sip. "Bleh," he thinks, "It tastes bitter." Still, he's sitting in front of a literal god right now, so he feels like he has to go through with it. And so, the drink rapidly disappears down his throat..

"So…" Haalfrin asks as the silence gets too uncomfortable for him, "Since I'm a sinner, and you're supposed to take me… what am I going to be sentenced to for eternity?"

"Oh, you might be a floor sweeper, an accountant, or maybe even an office worker. There's plenty to do in the Death Realm. Of course, if you're crimes are bad enough, you'll be given a harsher sentence…"

Hearing of his fate, Haalfrin finally grows dissatisfied. "I'd rather be taken by Freyya," he thinks, "With her legions, I can have an exciting afterlife full of adventure and battle. Isn't that what I've been missing all these years? Who would want to spend forever pouring over books and sweeping floors?"

Haalfrin pauses to look Das in the eyes, then thinks, "On top of that, I'd be with the rest of my clan if Freyya takes me!"

While Haalfrin is stewing in his thoughts, Das finishes his break and gets up. He tells Haalfrin, "It was a pleasant talk. I'll be seeing you soon."

With that, he disappears into thin air, leaving Haalfrin alone with an empty tea cup.