The Prince is my Guardian (part 4)

He kissed my hand very gently and slowly, I can feel the softness of his lips, which only makes me blush even more and he saw how flustered I got with that simple move. But I quickly took my hand back and with enough courage even though I know I was still blushing a little bit I bid him good night and closed the door. What is happening to me? I have never been like this blushing like a fool over a guy. If I don't nip this feeling in the bud I will be in big trouble. I am all alone right now with Nana missing, one mistake can end me. I felt feverish the entire night tossing and turning in my bed and barely getting a wink. What is this spell that Henry Archer has cast on me? I think I won't be able to meet his gaze in a long time without being flustered. I have to gather my wits about me and avoid Henry at all costs.

Before the morning light broke the next day, I went on ahead without waiting for Henry, I just can't risk being caught in the same tight spot a second time. I need to be able to control my emotions first before I ever meet Henry face to face again, I will not succumb to this emotion. Not now. Not to that pervert. No! I wont.

I have been saying this mantra for the entire day as our classes went by "I must avoid Henry Archer at all cost." Good thing though that Henry had classes in a different area of the campus and that we are in different Academic year levels because it helped me avoid him during the day but the main dilemma now is during practice. I must stick to my group and never let my guard down.

The dreaded hour came, I wanted to excuse myself from todays practice but I have such deep respect for the people who are trying their best for this performance so even if I had a mission to avoid Henry I will not miss practice. I came into the building wary of Henry but he was not yet here so I best get changed and go to the dance studio. I was acting as normally as possible but I was totally zoned in on the people around me more than I was paying attention to my warm ups when I froze on the bar. There he was the cause of all my anxieties right now, Henry Archer. He saw me and smiled that sly smile at me, it made me blush again but I will not let him see it so I turned my head to the side as if to dismiss his smile at me and since there are other girls behind me they think he was smiling at them and it made them giddy and giggle. I tried hard to avoid his gaze but he seemed more persistent than the last time. He followed me with his gaze all over the bar, the floor practice even if they were busy practicing their own special choreography. He would steal a gaze when he knows that no one is looking and because I know he is looking at me, my face betrays me as it blushes every so often that even Amelia had to ask if I was fine.

"Mon cheri are you okay? You're face is flushed. Do you have a fever or something." Amelia spoke in a caring way.

"No mademoiselle, I am just fine." I answered in a flustered tone

Henry used that opportunity to come closer to me and finally talk to me, "Are you really okay?"

He then tries to place his hand on my forehead but my dramatic instinct quickly kicked in and I swatted his hand away quite intensely if I may add even for me. Everyone around us went dead quiet and were waiting on what's going to happen next. But I simply whispered a few words to reassure everyone.

"I'm sorry but I'm just really fine. . . " but then everything went black and all I remember is slowly falling when someone's arms caught me. The next thing I knew I was already on my bed at the Archer Manor with some cool patch on my forehead. I tried standing up and look at the room and I realized that I am no longer wearing my leotard but I was wearing a night gown now. I was busy with my thought when someone came into my room and it was Dr. Decker.

"I see you're awake already. How do you feel now? Henry carried you the infirmary but I thought it best that you stay in your own room to get better sleep. I did not imagine that Henry is now your temporary guardian. Don't worry it was one of the maids who undressed you and put on your night gown."

"I feel fine Dr. Decker but I don't understand why I fainted."

"Uhmm. . . How was your sleep last night?"

"Actually to be honest, I didn't get much sleep last night Dr. "

"Okay that explains everything then my dear. You had a fever because you were too tired, do pray tell my dear why did you not get some sleep last night?"

"Hmm. . . I was. . . I guess I was thinking about something too much that I ended loosing sleep last night."

"Well, there is nothing more to be done except for you to unload all that stress and anxiety on someone you trust my dear. A heart heavy with anxiety is like a stone sinking into the ocean it will drag you down into a kind of darkness that is unthinkable."

Tears slowly fell down my cheeks when I realized what the good doctor was telling me when he noticed that I was crying. He soothed me like a loving father to his daughter, something I will never get to experience ever.

"Oh my, I didn't mean to make you cry. You best get some more rest and tomorrow you'll be fine dear."

The kind Dr. Decker then left and I was once again left with this rock inside my chest. So in my night gown and my ballet shoes hanging on my shoulders by their laces, I walked pass the judging eyes of those people in those paintings, pass the empty and quiet lounge, pass the cool moist floor of the porch and into the moonlit garden whose flowers were drinking the night sky, silently heading into the gazebo. Where I stretched and put on my ballet shoes.

I slowly moved with tender steps and extensions letting my emotions drip into the tips of my fingers and down to the points of my ballet shoes. At first I began to let loose the loneliness of realizing I am all alone now, the pain of having to deal with everything without anyone to tell to, the worry of never finding someone who will support me and the fear of never seeing my Nana then I gradually move to emptiness. I repeat the steps as I repeat the emotions in my head and in my heart and the slow trickle of tears become a painful weeping. I am lost, lost in myself and now I am lost in this world as I spin in pirouettes (a spinning move in ballet with one foot used for spinning and the other foot touching the knee of the supporting leg). I spun and I spun I was dizzy and fell down on the floor of the gazebo sobbing and out of the blue, a hand pat my head and reached for my arms and supported me up in a hug. Even though I was still a bit dizzy from all that spinning, I knew who was holding me, this scent and this embrace, these arms are all too familiar. It was Henry.

Unlike earlier this day when I swatted his hand away, I did not push him away instead I hugged him back then I nudged him gently to let me go because I can support myself now. He let me go and was starting to leave when I grabbed his hand and started another dance. I start to micmic the opening sequence that Amelia was doing for swan lake as she portrays Odette mingling with the swans. Henry immediately recognized the sequences and had his mouth gaped then he closed it anticipating the next moves. I follow the choreography even the ones where Chase as Prince Siegfried comes in on the lake to hunt and was enchanted by Odette. The next parts though I changed because I want to show Henry what I could not say, hoping that from one dancer to another he would be able to understand. I proceed with successive movements, I take his hand and put it on my cheek touching so tenderly then looking at his eyes then turning away walking only to end up running into his arms, luckily Henry was alert and prepared enough to catch me. He spins us and takes a nip on my neck as we spin, I let him kiss my neck but then I pull away. I spin around him and with each turn I stop in front of him, displaying a look of spite, then wonder and then a look of love. Like how I really began to feel when I met him, I despised him at first for making perverted passes at me, then as I got to know him a little I began to wonder about him and lastly it just started to blossom in my chest an emotion I only thought I had for my Nana, love. I have acknowledge now that I am falling in love with Henry and so I started to dance gently and romantically to him beckoning his gaze, asking for his touch which he obliges and as the tension escalates and I am drowning him in my declaration of affection. I suddenly came close to his face, grasped each side of his cheek caressed his lips as if to tell him, "yes, I was thinking of you and your soft lips this whole time." I was about to kiss him and he closed his eyes but then I walked out and left him standing in the middle of that lovely gazebo with a dumbfounded look on his face as I walked away from him.

Yes, I was falling in love with Henry but when I left him in that gazebo it meant that nothing will come of it this love that I have started to feel will become nothing. This is the choice I am making now although I don't know how long I can hold out against Henry Archer.