Twelve

My morning at the office is quiet, almost too quiet. My phone has been silent, though my mother has now left me a voicemail, that I am choosing to ignore until I want to deal with her. Preferably in a few years, or never. But I know with her persisting attitude, I won't be able to ignore her past lunch.

Speak of the devil, my office door crashes open minutes later, and my mother strides in. I'm not surprised to see her. What I am surprised to see, is Amber trail in the door behind her. She offers me a small smile and a look that says, 'wait for it'.

My mother has an idea for something. I already know it.

"Why the hell have you been ignoring my calls all morning? Are you really too busy to speak with your mother for a few minutes on the phone?" she starts yelling immediately, not caring that Amber is standing a few feet away from her. She doesn't seem phased by what is going on, anyway.

"I'm sorry, it has been a rather busy morning, I have a meeting in an hour, and a few phone calls to make that will take up a lot of my time today. What can I help you with, mother?" I try and act politely, for the sake of Amber.

My mother rolls her eyes and huffs. "I wanted to set up a lunch date between the three of us, to discuss an idea I had to properly announce your engagement to the public, but it seems you're rather too busy today."

I know I should have seen this coming, but the topic still shocks and angers me.

"We can have lunch here; I can ask my secretary to fetch something from the restaurant downstairs. I can spare a half-hour at most, no longer." I call Sandra in and ask her to bring us up a few different options from the lunch menu of the restaurant and ask her to make it quick.

"Well, for starters, both of you are big names, so we will need a lot of media attention when you make the announcement. Perhaps we can host a charity event or a party, and you can announce your engagement there."

As always, my mother is finding an excuse to host a party. The last party I attended that she hosted, ended in the worst nightmare of my life; the first time I thought Ava left me, when she lost her memory in that freak car accident.

To this day, I still want to know who that bastard is.

"Sounds like a good idea, Marion," Amber says and smiles cheerfully at my mother. I give her a confused look, wondering why she is playing along so easily. Does she really not see what my mother is doing? How selfish she is being?

She gives me a hard look, as if to say 'play along'.

I huff silently, wanting this day to be over, as I usual did when I was in the presence of my mother.

"Great! Then it's settled, we can come up with a few ideas and thoughts for which charity we want to fund, where we're going to host the party, if we want a theme…" I drown the rest of my mother's ramblings and walk towards the window, looking out towards the view I have come to admire greatly over the last year. If there is anything in life I don't regret, besides meeting Ava, it's choosing this view.

It's the second best view in New York.

Lunch soon arrives, and my mother continues to ramble on about different ideas for charities and the party. She uses my computer for research and scrambles around in my drawers for paper and pen. I move towards the couch off to the corner, and silently eat my sandwich and watch from a far.

Everyone once in a while she asks for my opinion, and Amber nods or shakes or head at me to tell me which to answer, knowing I'm half paying attention, if paying attention at all. I'm glad when I check my watch, and see I have 15 minutes until my meeting. I quickly wrap everything up and shove all the scattered papers on my desk at my mother, and tell her we will schedule another meeting, where we can continue discussing ideas.

She tries to continue yelling things at me as I push her out the door, but thankfully Amber steps in and reminds her of some random thing they have to get too. I thank her silently and quickly fix myself in my office, before running off to the conference room, praying this day goes by faster than it already has.

***

I'm out my office door within seconds of me putting the phone down, ending my last phone call of the day. I don't bother to put my jacket on, and wave quickly to Sandra as I bolt for the elevator. She gives me half wave and a confused look before the door closes.

The valet already has my car waiting for me outside, and I offer him an extra tip, for thinking ahead for me. I jump in my car and race over to Ava's work, a large smile on my face, like every other time I've gone to see her. This time, knowing I'm going to see Emily as well, and get to spend a little bit of time with them

The thought of Ava wanting to speak with me itches at the back of my mind, but I try and ignore it, not wanting it to sour my mood. I don't want to assume it is something bad, in case it makes me edgy, and jump to conclusions during our talk.

This is the first time since I found her where she is choosing to open up to me. I don't want my negative thoughts and fears to get in the way, and screw everything up.

I pull up outside her cake shop, and watch her through the window for a moment, I have often done before. She is serving a woman and her son, giving him a frosted cupcake while his mother looks over the cake in the box. She smiles, satisfied, and hands Ava the money before taking off with the box.

Just as she leaves, another couple walks in. I realize it is still a little earlier in the day, so she might not close for a couple more hours. I get out of my car and decide to walk a little further along the street and see what there is.

Just a few shops away, I spot out a little flower shop, and don't hesitate to walk in. I look around, and pick out a few random single flowers, that look different from all the rest. I can't bother with their names, just admiring their vibrant beauty. I walk up to the cash and pay for them, noticing what looks like a little chemistry set in the back.

"What is that?" I ask the cashier.

"Oh, that? Well, we offer customers for an extra price, to dye their flowers a different color if they want, say for like a wedding or birthday party, if you want specific colors," she explains.

I look at the white rose I picked out for Ava, the only flower I knew of and knew she would definitely like.

"Can you dye this a dark green?" I ask and hold out the flower. She nods eagerly, telling me this isn't something she gets to do regularly, and rushes off to fix everything up. I ask if I can help myself to the wrapping station behind the counter, seeing as there is no one else in the store, and I have already spotted the security camera, pointing directly towards the cash.

She gives me a hard look, then nods and tells me where everything is. I wrap the other individual flowers carefully while she dyes the rose. We finish around the same time, and she takes the time to wrap the rose in a plastic case, to allow it to dry a little more. I pop into the small dollar store a few stops back towards Ava's shop, and wrap the plastic case in plain red wrapping paper, adding a little white bow on top.

When I look back through the shop window, I see the lights are dim, and the closed sign is flipped on the door. I quietly push open the door and lock it behind me, not seeing Ava, but I can hear her moving about in the back room, the smell of cleaning supplies filling the air. I set the flowers down on the freshly wiped counter and wait patiently for her to come out. I unwrap the rose and make sure it's completely dry, when I hear the click of her shoes.

"Oh, I didn't hear you come in, sorry," she says, not seeing me over the counter completely. I walk around, smiling softly at her. "What are you smiling about?" she asks, a slow smile creeping on her own face.

I lift the flower from behind my back and she gasps, her eyes widening in what I hope is surprise or amazement. She lifts her hand delicately and takes the plastic casing of the rose, turning it gently in her hands.

"Can I touch it?" she asks.

"Yes, it's only in the case to dry." I take it back and carefully remove the rose from the case, touching the petals softly to make sure they're dry, before handing it to her. A small smile spreads across her face as she admires it, the color having faded to a darker green than I had imagined, when I first saw it. It is almost the same color of Ava's eyes, which was the goal.

"It's beautiful," she whispers. She places the flower back in the case to place it down on the counter, then turns back to me to wrap her arms around my neck. She places her lips softly on mine, pulling back and smiling. "Thank you, that made my day."

"Anything for you, love."

She tries to pull away, but I keep her glued to me, nuzzling my face in her neck and inhaling her scent for a few seconds. She smells like flour and dough, with a hint of her naturally sweet, almost strawberry like smell.

"We have to pick up Emily from daycare, remember?" she says softly, but I can tell in her tone, she is close to caving.

"I'm a little early, I say we have at least an hour before they even expect you." I slowly start to move her backwards toward the counter, before she can protest, laying butterfly kisses on her neck and shoulder, nibbling her skin occasionally to distract her. I feel her open her mouth to say something, so I flick my tongue out against the skin at the base of her neck, earning a light gasp.

I can tell that whatever she was about to say has been tossed out the window, when she pulls back slightly and grasps the back of my head, slamming her lips on mine. I swiftly pick her up and carry her to the back of the shop, remembering how many windows the front of her shop has. I have never been to the back, so I have no idea where I'm going. I have to pull back and put her down to see where the hell I can take her, so I can rip her clothes off as quick as possible.

Before I can see anything, Ava grabs my hand and leads me further into the back, towards what looks like a supply closet. I'm surprised at the amount of space, also seeing that it's her main storage and bulk area. She doesn't give me any time to react, grabbing my jacket and pushing it off my arms, reaching for the buttons on my shirt seconds after. I let out a low chuckle and lift my hands up to let her do her thing, loving that she wants me just as much as I want her.

Even after all these years, she still has the same feelings, and they're just as passionate. I was so afraid that when I did find her, those feeling would be gone in her, though I had held onto them so strongly.

"How much time do we have?" she asks, dragging me out of my daze. I look at my wrist watch, my eyes a little foggy.

"An hour and 15 minutes," I say. She gives me a mischievous smile, her dark green eyes glinting.

Fuck, she's going to be the end of me.

***

I help Ava quickly re-organize her storage room after our not so quick, quickie. She grabs a small tray of cupcakes on her way out, explaining in the car how she likes to bring the workers at the daycare small treats every now and then when she has extra baked goods at the end of the week, because they love her cooking, and a lot of it is vegan and gluten free, so it's safe for the kids to eat as well.

We play a fun game of back and forth hand swatting, where I reach over to the cupcake box and try to steal one, and she swats my hand away. It continues for the majority of the car ride, until we pull into the parking lot, and I need to get out and pay the meter for a half-hour. When I get back, Ava is smiling at me.

"What are you thinking?" I ask, eyeing the cupcake box again.

She rolls her eyes, obviously seeing my darting eyes. "I'll give you a cupcake, for a kiss," she says, and puts one hand on the box. That peaks my interest, there is no way I would ever say no to that. Her, and a sweet treat made by her?

I smile and lean closer to her, closing my eyes and preparing to kiss her – and stop dead when I feel a cold, wet smear of icing slide across my cheek.

My eyes flash open and I look at Ava, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she laughs, her index finger covered in blue frosting. She licks the rest off her finger, still laughing at me, before she bites into the cupcake she took the icing off of.

"Are you serious?" I say in a low tone, turning to the mirror to wipe off the blue icing. There is enough to form another glob on my finger, giving me the perfect idea. I turn and wipe the glob on her cheek, watching in mild amusement as her face turns to pure shock, before another smile breaks out on her face, and we share a laugh together.

I stop her hand when she goes to wipe it off, grasping her chin and lifting her face to meet mine, turning it slightly. I surprise her and lick the icing off her cheek, darting my tongue out slowly across her skin. I feel her shudder underneath me, her hands clutching my still ruffled and untidy shirt. I kiss her cheek softly, before pulling away, knowing if I continue, we're never going into that daycare.

We take a few minutes to correct ourselves outside, before walking in and greeting everyone. Brian isn't as enthusiastic about seeing Ava as he was this morning, and that makes me extremely happy, and I don't feel guilty about it in the slightest. Emily is already downing a cupcake before anyone else even knows there are any. Ava places the box on the counter, telling everyone to help themselves, and waving good-bye. I frown at the box, disappointed I never got a cupcake, and follow them out.

I hold the door open for Ava for her to strap Emily into the car seat she installed in the back this morning. She closes the door and stops me before I can open the passenger door for her. She brings her hand up, holding a chocolate cupcake covered in bright blue frosting, similar to the one she had smeared across my cheek earlier.

I grab the cupcake and take a huge bite out of it, smearing frosting and chocolate all over my lips, before planting a sloppy kiss on Ava's slip. I hear her shriek under my lips and squirms in my grasp, before I feel her lips spread into a grin, breaking the kiss.

"You're horrible!" she cries and finally breaks free, wiping her face vigorously, a grin still planted on her face.

"You love it," I whisper, pulling her back into me. She stops and sucks in a sharp breath, and something passes through her troubled green eyes.

"We should get going, Emily needs to eat something soon," she says and smiles tightly, pulling away and quickly jumping into the car. I frown but try not to think about anything, knowing I'll just start thinking the worst. I climb in the car, and finally hand Emily the bright pink flower I found in the shop, loving the adorable smile and giggle she lets out when she looks at it, admiring the vibrant color and soft petals. Ava gives me a sweet smile, grasping my hand in hers and placing it in her lap this time.

We sit in a comfortable silence back to her apartment, Ava quietly asking Emily what she wants for dinner when we get closer. We all laugh when she blurts out chocolate chip pancakes, and is of course told to pick something else. Emily pouts and refuses to pick anything else, saying that is the only thing she wants.

Ava rolls her eyes and looks at me.

"Don't worry, we'll think of something else," I say and lift our conjoined hands to kiss the back of her hand. "Have I told you how beautiful you are today?" I suddenly say, not needing to think it to feel it.

Her cheeks turn red instantly, and she ducks her head to hide her face, turning to Emily in the back to help her unstrap as we pull into the underground parking. I help her grab the bag and Emily, reaching for her hand the second we're out of the car, and don't let go until we're in front of her apartment door.

Ava turns into the kitchen as soon as she sets Emily down, or pulls off her Velcro shoes and rushes into the living room the moment her feet touch the ground. I kick my shoes off slowly and set the bag down by the hallway, following Ava into the kitchen. She's looking through the fridge, the same troubled look on her face and worry in her eyes. I can't help but feel like it's about the talk she mentioned earlier. She's probably thinking of when is the best time to have it, which just makes me even edgier.

I put my hand on hers on the fridge, making her turn to me in shock. I open the door wider and look inside, spotting a pack of hot dogs. I quickly pull them out, with a bottle of ketchup, relish and mustard, and throw a pot of water on. Ava looks at me confused, but stands back while I rush around and look for everything else I need, casually pointing to a cupboard when I seem a little lost. I pull out plates, cups and hunt for hot dog buns. Seeing none, I grab the loaf of bread to improvise, earning a small chuckle from Ava behind me. Once the hot dogs are done, I put everything on the table and call Emily over. She cheers loudly when she sees hot dogs, and quickly pulls herself into her highchair and patiently waits to be served.

We chat with Emily about her day while we eat, what kind of crafts and stuff she did at daycare. I can tell Ava is distracted, her smile is forced when Emily enthusiastically tries to word everything out. I want to ask her what she's thinking about, but I know she won't say anything until we're alone. Even though I doubt Emily would understand everything we're saying, she is still impressionable and understands most, if not more than I think.

This time after dinner, Ava does the dishes, and I go with Emily into the living room, and help her set up her dollhouse. She merges soon after, two cups of tea in her hands. She gives me one, but doesn't sit down. Instead, she shuffles back and forth in front of me, looking towards the balcony door. I lean down towards Emily, and tell her she can watch her cartoons on television. She squeals and jumps on the couch, turning it over to some brightly lit show instantly.

I turn to Ava and grab her hand, leading her over to the balcony door and exiting out into the cool air breeze. There are two lawn chairs placed on the side, looking unused, and a small round metal table. I pull them all over and set them up for us, facing each other, close enough so I can see grasp her hand when we sit down.

We sip our tea in silence for a few minutes, admiring the view of Manhattan from her apartment. After a few more minutes, I can't take the waiting anymore and finally turn to her.

"What is it you wanted to talk about earlier?" I ask quietly.

She let out a soft breath and bites her lip. She takes a long drink of her tea and sets the cup down before turning to me completely, gazing intently into my eyes.

"There is something I need to tell you, it's something I should have told you when we first saw each other, but I didn't know how." She stops and looks out over the balcony. So far, this conversation isn't off to the way I thought it was, and I'm still not sure if that's good or bad yet. Taking a deep breath, she looks back at me.

"When I finally left my parents place, and moved here with Emily, you were the first person I thought of. For the first month after I got a place and eventually opened the cake shop, I thought non-stop about trying to find you, and telling you about Emily. I wanted you to meet her, or at least know she exists, so you have the option to be in her life. But the fear of rejection was always lurking behind every thought, and one day after another passed. Then, I finally decided, I'm going to seek you out and tell you."

I suck in a sharp breath, knowing the bad part of the tense growing conversation is about to arise.

"A week after I started searching your name up and trying different numbers, but reaching dead ends, someone left a card at the front door of the shop with an address, telling me to go there if I wanted more information on you. Of course, I thought there was something off about it, but I was so desperate, having no leads at that point, so I went to the address. Your mother was there."

My heart lurches and then stops in my chest.

Where the hell is this going? And when was my mother planning to tell me she had met Ava, over a year ago, and never told me?

I try and remain quiet and calm, though rage is boiling in me.

Ava takes another deep breath and continues, probably seeing that I'm not going to freak out. Something tells me, there is more bad news to come, and seeing my mother isn't the worst of it, as much as I never thought I would ever say that.

"She said she had saw me a few weeks back after I had moved to New York, and had someone follow me. She found out I was trying to find you, and that I wanted to tell you about Emily. She said she knew for a fact that you would never accept Emily, that you were a successful man now, with a billion-dollar company in your name, living the dream, and that you wouldn't want the responsibility of a child ruining all that. At first, I thought she was just lying to me, and that she didn't actually know where you were. Then she showed me pictures, showed me your company, a few pictures of you on vacation or with other officials. You looked happy, accomplished, everything your mother said you were. I started to believe her, and the fear of rejection grew too strong at that point, thanks to her pushing. Then, she offered me something."

That caught my attention instantly. "What do you mean?" I ask.

"She said she felt bad that you and my parents had put me through this, and that I didn't deserve to suffer on my own, as a single mother. She tried to play the sympathy card, saying she knew how it was to be a single mother, not having the support from anyone else but whatever wealth she had been left or accomplished on her own. So, she offered to pay me, but of course in exchange, it meant I was to leave you alone, and never tell you about Emily. She offered me a million-dollars, even offered to give me it all at once, or in small amounts every month, like a baby bonus."

I can feel my anger bubbling more and more in my stomach, with every word she says. I could never put this past my mother, but it still shook me to my core to think that she has known this entire time about Emily, and has gone to the extreme to keep her existence from me. For what?

"Did you take the offer?" I ask quietly, hearing how hard my tone is.

Ava shakes her head. "I told her I wanted to give you the option, no matter how bad it might be. I said you deserved to at least know, and have the option to keep her or leave, and I would accept either one. Your mother then threatened me, saying she would do anything to keep you from throwing your life away, and threatened to take everything from me. I was afraid she meant Emily, I didn't care about the money or my shop, so I took her offer as an agreement, and we never spoke again. I of course thought about you ever day after that, and now that I had information on you, I tried to keep tabs on you every chance I got, but I moved to Manhattan soon after, wanting to be as far away from your mother as possible, but still near my shop, not wanting to completely uproot myself because of her."

She stops and looks at me, biting her lip. Minutes tick by slowly. I'm looking back at her, but I don't see her. I'm thinking her words over in my head, consistently, drilling everything she said in my mind.

"Ashton, I'm so sorry…" she whispers, tears gathering in her eyes. "I should have told you, I wanted to tell you about her, I just–"

she stops and chokes on her sobs, covering her mouth as tears stream down her cheeks. I instantly snap out of my rage and grasp her cheeks lightly, wiping away the flow of tears staining her skin.

I kiss her slightly wet and salty lips, the feeling of her warm skin helping calm me almost instantly, but I can still feel the bubble of rage in the pit of my stomach.

"Don't be sorry, love. You have nothing to be sorry about, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that, that you had to carry that all this time." I kiss her again, pulling her head into my chest and running a soothing hand through her hair. "Don't worry, I still love you," I whisper, kissing her head a few times.

She continues to whisper apologies into my chest, her body shivering lightly. I keep running a hand through her hair, trying to keep her calm, kissing her head every now and then when she sobs or sniffles.

In the back of my mind, thoughts are brewing, trying to form a plan.

A plan to finally give what my mother has had coming to her all these years.

I am going to fucking ruin her life. Like she tried to do to mine.