9th July

I always wondered who came up with the idea of weekends. Like, I get that Saturday and Sunday are the ends of a week, but who decided that people should just do less on weekends?

Think about it. Originally, weekends were just like any other day, and now people don't go to school on weekends?

Instead of working every day, we now have breaks. I'm thankful for it.

Aight, Saturday.

What oh what do people do on their Saturdays? I personally prefer just staying home and doing nothing the entire day. I've heard of people going around the place doing things, but I rather not.

I fell off my bed.

"Ouch," I muttered to myself, staring up at my ceiling.

I was wrapped like a burrito inside my blanket. As funny as I thought I would look, it certainly does not feel comfortable. After a couple of seconds, I managed to get out of the trap. Time to start my day.

At 2 in the fucking morning.

Damn, I'm productive.

So, some may ask me why I'm being an idiot and waking up at 2 am on a weekend? Well, my answer is simple. I wanna go out and visit Catherine at the convenience store. I looked through my texts, and apparently, I made a promise to Catherine to hang out with her at the convenience store again. I can't remember why I made such a weird promise though.

Who cares? I get to chat with a friend, and I'm all for that.

Now, as you all know, I am clearly a morning person, which is why I stare at myself in the mirror every day.

This time, however, I checked on my hair.

I guess the roots of my hair are showing? It's not obvious because of the way my hair is. But maybe I should get a haircut one of these days. I would like it if my hair is just a little shorter. Dang, I could have gone yesterday.

Screw it.

I had my glasses on. My outfit of choice today was a pair of baggy pants that reached my ankle. I also wore a shirt that had random splashes of paint. I made this shirt way back when I was in grade school. Yeah, I know, it's an old shirt originally made for my Mom. But now, I stole it from her and wear it every now and then.

It's just a little loose, just the way I prefer it.

I could remember the day I showed it to my Mom. The school had just given us a plain shirt and told us to draw something on it for our parents. As someone who sucks at drawing, I just started splashing paint all over the place.

I had paint on my hands and on my face. The teachers and other kids were mad at me, but my Mom just laughed it off and brought me home while wearing that shirt I made. Now, since Mom doesn't wear it anymore, I have it. Again.

You know, at 2 am, things look a lot different.

It's quieter. There's no sign of any schoolmates around. Sure, there are the weirdos that roam the streets late at night. I guess that's a thing, but the area is actually pretty safe compared to other places. So a girl walking alone in the middle of the night might not get into any trouble.

I used the same path I took the last time to get to that convenience store. Walking through the park is a pleasant experience. It's a calming atmosphere where the place is lit with lamps.

Once upon a time, the thought of potential danger would have terrified me.

Oh my, who's that sitting on a bench? No idea. Maybe I should go talk to him.

"Hello," I greeted.

The guy jolted, almost falling off the bench. I chuckled as I apologised. "Sorry, were you asleep?"

"Oh, uh… No, not really," He told me, regaining his composure. "Just out here… Thinking about stuff."

He adjusted his cap before facing me. "You're not a dream, right? Am I hallucinating?"

"I wonder about that too," I told him.

He nodded, his gaze dropping until he was left staring at the ground. I looked around before asking him, "Wouldn't your family be worried if you're out here so early? Or late, either one works, I guess."

"I don't even have a home to go back to," He sighed.

Oh.

"Sorry to hear that," I said.

"Yeah, I've been struggling financially for some time," He started talking. "I was trying to support both me and my wife."

In the next parts, he started to mumble, but I have pretty good hearing. "After my wife had a miscarriage, I couldn't take it anymore. I lashed out… I got angry because I knew it was my fault. I lost my job, my wife left me and I lost myself."

Are you a mumble rapper now? Wanna put 'Lil' at the start of your name?

"Sounds rough, are you okay?" I asked.

"How could I be okay?" He countered.

"I'm not talking about your current situation," I elaborated. "I'm talking about up there in your head. Mentally, are you okay?"

"No! Of course I'm not!" He raised his voice slightly.

I smiled at him. I don't know if I looked creepy or anything. I'm just hoping I wasn't looking like a clown. Wait, looking like a clown and saying what I just said is actually pretty funny. To me, at least.

"You could always consider suicide," I told him.

"Wh-"

"I've been thinking, you know?" I started. "Why bother going all 'Oh, suicide bad! No suicide!'? It's a choice that people aren't willing to accept as a solution. If someone wants to throw themselves off a building, they can."

He looked rather confused.

"I'm just saying I respect people's decisions," I told him. "I'm not one to encourage suicide, but as long as it's voluntary, sure thing, go ahead."

Before he could say anything else, I clapped my hands, shocking him. "Enough with all these sad, sad-y sadness things. What about your parents? Are they still alive?"

"My parents are alive and well," He confirmed. "But they live in the countryside, and I don't dare to face them."

Are you being serious?

"Well, that's your choice, I guess."

I looked around, already deciding that the conversation was not going well at all. I cleared my throat and told him, "Well, I gotta get going. If you aren't leaving the area, guess I'll see you around."

"Sure…"

With that behind me, literally, I'm on my way to the convenience store Catherine works at. I've been there before, and I had a blast pretending to be a store employee. I wanna do that again.

Ding.

I'm in the convenience store now. Inside, as expected, was Catherine. She was looking through some notes and filling in worksheets. I stepped over to the counter and reached over to tap her head. Catherine looked up, looking slightly pissed off. When she saw me, she shook her head, sighing.

"What? Not happy to see me?" I asked.

"Don't just suddenly touch my head," She told me, pointing a pen at me. "Next time you do something like that, I'll stab you with my pen."

Sounds interesting.

"Sounds painful, so no," I laughed.

Let me just walk around the place a little. Not much has changed. Instead of going through the aisles, I went straight to Catherine, asking, "Can I wear the uniform again?"

"Same place," Catherine told me. "I knew you would do this again."

"Are you calling me predictable? I'm offended."

Catherine smirked and pointed at the lockers in the back room with her pen. I went back and put the uniform over my clothes as quickly as I could. Now enter the one and only, store employee me.

I'm not expecting anyone to actually come to the convenience store at this hour, but it would be really nice if someone did. I remember sitting by the counter last week, but I don't remember if anyone walked in.

"Have you been lonely without me?" I asked Catherine.

"Not at all," She said, still writing. "I'm too busy to feel lonely."

"Then why did you ask me to come back here today?" I jokingly complained. "When you could have sat here for three full hours, listening to the same tune."

"That tune sucks," Catherine told me.

It was some weird tune that was not catchy in the slightest. In fact, I think it might have been a Christmas Carol. Great, as if being alone with an anti-social University student focused on studying wasn't bad enough.

Wait a minute, the tune ain't that bad…

Never mind, it sucks, it deserves to die in a fire.

I went to the back, hoping I could find whatever was controlling the music of the place. I would love to play other songs, literally any other song. I would rather hear nothing than hear that obnoxious song.

But hey, that's just me. Who knows? Maybe somewhere out there, there are some freaks that enjoy this shit.

I found something that might just be it. It was a small room where a computer was showing a video of a Christmas jingle played on repeat. I went over, shouting to Catherine, "Cat! What songs you wanna listen to?"

"Literally anything else," She shouted back.

"Bruno Mars it is!"

After I got back, I asked her, "Do you think the place will get fined for copyright because we're playing Bruno Mars?"

"I doubt it."

What I would pay to see that happen. Imagine. Headlines; convenience store fined for playing copyrighted music.

Sitting behind the counter was getting pretty old very quickly. I've seen people sit and stare for hours. How do they do that? Do they even have a life? What the heck goes through that head of theirs if they have anything inside in the first place?

"Cat, are you ever planning to get married?" I asked her out of nowhere.

"I dunno," She shrugged. "I would like to settle down after I get a job. Why do you ask?"

"You see, I've been getting myself involved with relationships recently, so I was wondering what it was like," I explained.

"You're getting into a relationship?"

"Oh God no. I'm just helping other people with theirs."

"Seems like a waste of time."

I laughed at her statement, swinging my legs. I then continued, "I remember you saying you wanted kids, but you've never told me why you can't."

"Did I mention that I can't?" Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe, my memory ain't that good."

Catherine put her pen down and sat up. She let out a long sigh before telling me, "This is a personal issue, so I won't go into too many details, okay?"

"When I was still in school, I had a boyfriend who promised that we would eventually get married when we turned twenty. However, when we turned twenty, he just disappeared. He flew off to another country. I got depressed and tried to fix my life. I was desperate since I didn't have the necessary education to get a proper job. I eventually found another boyfriend at one of my part-time jobs. We dated for a year and thought about trying for a kid… But it didn't quite work out."

"Why?" I questioned, curious.

You can't simply tell me half a story and expect me to just accept it. Catherine's eyes darted to the side before she said softly, "I can't give birth because I'm infertile. I discovered that when I went to the doctor after failing to get pregnant. Then that guy I was dating broke up with me half a year later."

Catherine scratched her head, messing up her hair before running her fingers through her hair again. "I got depressed, thought about ending it all, you know? But I decided that I still have things I can do to save myself. I got a loan, I went back to school. If everything goes well, I should graduate next year."

"Then what do you plan to do after that?"

Catherine tapped her chin. "Get a job, settle down. If I can, get married to a decent guy for once. At this point, I've given up on having a kid. Actually, I might not even need to marry. Just live out my life, that would be good."

"That's great!" I cheered for her. "I don't think I would have gotten far if I was in your position."

"Who knows?"

"How does it feel like to fall in love?" I simply asked.

What? I just wanted to know.

"It's kinda like a thumping feeling in your chest. You feel somewhat lighter inside? I'm not sure how to explain it exactly," Catherine told me. "Make sure you tell me if you ever fall in love, okay? I need to check if that guy's good for you."

"Thanks, Dad," I laughed.

"Dad? Why not your Mom?"

"Cause my Mom's irreplaceable," I stated. "You can't be my Mom if my Mom's still around. She raised me up through a lot of difficulties."

"If you've always been this way, it must have been Hell to raise you," Catherine joked.

I chuckled and pushed her lightly. "Then what about you?"

"My parents already disowned me," Catherine said.

She still held her small smile, but her eyes were not bright at all. Dear Catherine, maybe I should give you some acting lessons. She continued, "It had to do with the first boyfriend I had. We got pretty wild."

"What were your younger days like before being disowned?" I pursued. "I mean, I'm just curious about a young Catherine."

"Pretty normal," Catherine said. "Had a healthy family relationship. My Dad was a bit of an alcoholic, but he was nice when sober."

Catherine had a faraway look in her eyes as she talked. When she finished her sentence, she looked back at me. "What about you? What happened when you were younger?"

"Normal people stuff."

"Like?"

I paused to think. "Well… My Mom was pretty young when she gave birth to me, so that's a thing. My family was poor, but we managed to get by well enough that I could attend Elementary school. It was nice."

"But here we are," Catherine sighed, looking out at the empty convenience store.

"Listening to Bruno Mars," I confirmed.

"And being friends."

It's official people! Bring out the red carpets and bring out the orchestra! Bring out the red rice. Hell, bring out everything in the world. Cause I just guaranteed myself a friend! First time since enrolling into Highschool, I suppose.

"You're still young, and you've got a lot of life left to live," Catherine said. "Go experience everything from the good to the bad."

"No worries, I don't think I'll get disowned by my parents that quickly," I joked. "Besides, life is short, who knows when it's gonna end? Maybe tomorrow, maybe in seventy years, maybe by the end of this month. Who knows?"

"True that."

There was a few moments of silence as Catherine started looking through her notes again. Eventually, she asked me, "Do you have siblings?"

"That's an odd question to ask," I stated,

"I was just curious," Catherine defended herself. "I was an only child growing up, so I don't know what it's like having a sibling."

"I do have a brother," I answered.

"How old is he?"

"You're not hunting him as date material, are you?"

"Of course not!"

I laughed, waving in front of me. "He's turning 18 next week."

"So he's your older brother?" Catherine asked.

"No, I'm older."

"But you're still in Highschool?"

"I'm 18," I stated bluntly. "My birthday already passed."

"The math doesn't add up," Catherine said, looking mighty confused.

"Don't worry about it," I laughed it off. "It's a complicated situation we don't like talking about. Instead, let's talk Drama! Is there anything going on in your school?"

"Hm…"

Catherine leaned back on her stool before realising there was no backrest, so she sat straight up again. "I guess there was one thing that happened recently. Some girl in my University contracted HIV."

"Oh. That's bad."

"Yeah, and I heard she was sleeping with a teacher, too," Catherine added on. "It's been the talk of the school."

"I did not expect something like that. Wow!" I chuckled.

"How bout you?"

I tapped the table with my index finger as I talked. "Well, I recently found out something. The girl who got me suspended, you remember her, right? Yeah, so she has an obvious crush on the hottest guy in the school but the guy doesn't like her back. As it turns out, that girl already has an older boyfriend."

"That's normal, I guess," Catherine commented. "If they're left on their own, nothing would probably happen."

"Right?" I agreed with her. "It's gonna be so boring if they end up remaining the way they are."

"Wait, when you said you were helping out…"

I nodded along. "Yep, I'm the fairy about to make my school a whole lot more interesting! I'm gonna mess with that dynamic and watch what happens from there."

"Weirdo."

"Whatever, Cat."

Before we could continue talking, someone walked in. We were alerted by the 'Ding' of the door opening.

"Welcome," Both of us said at the same time.

"Jinx," I said, pointing at Catherine, who was not bothered enough to play my game.

I looked back at the person who had just walked in. Tall, pretty and very recognisable, especially after what I saw on Thursday. Yin, my dear girl, what are you doing in a Convenience store this early in the morning?

She made eye contact with me and a sudden flash of realisation crossed her face.

"Yin!" I called out with the friendliest smile I could muster at the time. "What got you coming over here at this time?"

"I was out jogging just now…" She explained herself. "I wanted to stop by to get a drink."

"Fancy meeting you here."

"I remember," Yin muttered, pointing at me. "You were here last week as well, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"No, nothing, never mind," She turned away to grab a drink.

Well, isn't someone acting a little suspicious around me?

While Yin was browsing the aisles, Catherine whispered, "You know that person? Is she a friend of yours?"

"She's my brother's girlfriend," I whispered back. "Pretty, innit?"

Yin walked up to the counter, so I rang her up. I asked her, "Cash or credit?"

"Cash."

She pulled out a purse and paid for the drink she bought. I scanned it and passed it back, like any good employee would do. I then told her, "Oh yeah, did you know Fable's birthday is next Saturday? Our dad was thinking about having a party, are you free?"

"I'll make time," Yin confirmed.

"Keep it a secret from Fable though," I said, putting a finger to my lips. "You're gonna surprise him for me, okay?"

"I understand."

"Aight, see you next time."

I waved her off. When I sat back down, Catherine was already back to her notes. I tapped Catherine's arm, making her look at me. I whispered to her, "I hope more customers come. I really want to act like a proper store employee."

"If you wanted to act like a store employee, you probably shouldn't be smiling," Catherine countered. "Which reminds me, I don't think I've ever seen you not smiling."

"What? Don't I look better when I'm smiling?" I asked. "In the past, people always told me that. But now? People are all like 'Stop being such a weirdo, weirdo'."

"Who would tell that to you?"

"No idea!"

Ding.

Wow, we're really exceeding expectations with the number of people popping by the convenience store lately. This time, there was someone just scanning the store the moment he walked in. He, like Yin, seemed like he was out for a morning run. I can tell by the shorts, shirt and sweat.

"Welcome!" I greeted.

He approached the counter, asking me, "Do y'all sell cigarettes here?"

"We don't," I replied.

Catherine smacked my arm and got up herself. She told him, "Ignore her for a moment. We do sell cigarettes."

I hate being ignored.

Catherine reached up and opened a shelf behind the counter, asking him, "It'll be fifty a box. How many do you want?"

"Two boxes."

It was a quick transition. He paid the money and left with the boxes in hand. Well, someone isn't in much of a conversation mood, is he? After he left, I commented, "Huh, didn't know that shelf had cigarettes in them."

"You don't even work here, of course, you don't," Catherine shook her head.

"Have you smoked before?"

"I have," Catherine admitted. "I still smoke every now and then, but I've been trying to quit completely. I better not catch you smoking."

"Puh-lease, if I smoked, my Mom would hang me," I laughed.

Nobody else showed up at the convenience store. That's what happens when the store is located in the middle of nowhere. Instead, I went and arranged everything in order, then arranged them by expiry date since I had more time.

Once again, I get to ride Catherine's car back home.

"I would love to see my parents' reaction when they see me step out of a car like this," I told Catherine when we got in.

"I guess it is a little shady," Catherine agreed.

"Bet they'll be like 'What are you doing?' or 'Who is that you're with?'"

I let out a chuckle. The car started and we were on our way back to my home. For Catherine, she was probably going to her University or her home. Reminds me, I have no idea where Catherine lives.

"Cat, where do you live?" I asked her.

"A little more downtown," She confirmed. "I live deeper in the West, and the rent there is a lot cheaper. I got this one-room apartment where I just sleep in."

"Right, 'cause you get 3 hours of sleep," I nodded.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure you should be driving?"

Catherine stopped the car at the red light and gave me a look. She countered my question with, "What? Do you think I'm gonna crash the car or something? I have a lot of experience with driving, okay?"

"Got you."

Off we go.

When I got home, I waved Catherine off. She's nice to be around. She has this mature vibe around her, and it's really cool. Her life seems complicated, doubt she would ever tell me the full story in one shot.

"I'm back!" I announced when I walked into the apartment.

Fable was at the dining table, having poured himself a cup of coffee. He also had a sandwich by his side. Fable was looking at his phone though, completely ignoring my presence.

"Did you make that?" I asked, pointing at the sandwich.

Fable looked up before looking at his sandwich. He replied simply, "Yeah. Why?"

"First time seeing you do any form of cooking," I commented, placing my phone and wallet on the dining table. "It's a genuine surprise, even though you didn't actually 'cook' anything."

"I made my own breakfast 'cause I'm leaving early today."

"Not as early as I left the house."

Fable rolled his eyes, telling me, "It's not a competition who leaves the house earlier. Besides, no one in their right mind would leave as early as you."

Dear Fable, your girlfriend just did.

"So whatcha doing this early?" I asked, sitting down.

"Going to the gym with Yin," He stated. She said there would be fewer people, so might as well."

"That's great!" I clapped softly. "Anything that keeps you off that computer is a good thing, ain't it?"

He sighed and looked back at his phone. I quickly got bored, so I went back to my room to hit the sack, again.

Random thought. When you're sleeping the required amount every day, you're meant to feel refreshed, right? Ever had those days where for whatever reason, you just feel tired the moment you wake up? Then that tiredness drags on the rest of the day and eventually affects the next day, making you feel more tired than the day before. Am I even making sense?

Meh, I didn't get close to enough sleep last night, so I'm just gonna take a quick nap.

So…

Wanna hear a joke?

So a lumberjack is cutting down some trees, but because of his line of work, he can't exactly sit down often. This lumberjack, in particular, is also a carpenter and is trying to make himself a new house. He's chopping down trees and one day finds that he destroyed a bird's nest when doing his job.

So what does he do?

Continue on, what else can he do? Man doesn't even have a home of his own.

One day I'm gonna tell my Mom one of these jokes. If she laughs, that would be a mission accomplished.

Well, look at the time! Not me of course, I'm asleep. But probably my Mom. Wait a minute, I'm actually pretty hungry. I haven't had breakfast yet. Currently feeling like shit. Send help, please.

I heard a knock on my door.

I woke up realising something strange. I was sleeping with my head where my feet normally were and my feet where my head would normally be. Did I do a summersault while I was asleep or something?

"---! Wake up, let's bounce!" Mom called.

Outfit check, same outfit as when I went out to meet with Catherine. Had a quick shower before I went out.

"We're gonna have to get breakfast on the way there," My Mom explained to me. "I'll be dropping you off at Doctor Lisa's. Do you need lunch?"

"Depends on the breakfast," I responded.

Let's go.

We're off.

Doctor Lisa… the session I had with her last week was rather stale and boring. I hope that today would be different. Maybe I could ask her about her boyfriend again? Wait, are they married?

In the car, Mom looked rather rushed.

"What's the rush?" I asked.

"Well, I have a massage appointment. I'm thinking that if I drop you off at the usual time, I would be late for the massage," She told me.

"Just drop me off a little earlier then," I suggested.

"You hate waiting though," Mom said.

"No problem, it'll only be several minutes, not hours or days. Nothing that would kill me," I told her.

"Right… So I'll drop you off fifteen minutes earlier?"

"Okay."

Breakfast. Done.

My Mom dropped me off at the place. I just sat in the waiting area alone, waiting for my turn to enter the room. It's true that I don't like waiting. Waiting is so boring. Think about it, waiting is a certainty that approaches with time. Waiting meant that there is a clear-cut outcome, and I don't like determinants.

"--- Sullivan," Someone called.

I looked up. Doctor Lisa had opened the door and was looking at me. Was it already my time? I've basically been in my own world.

"Doctor Lisa you tease," I laughed. "It's --- ----!"

"Sure, sure, whatever," She told me.

I stepped in like usual. I've been doing basically the same thing every Saturday for the past year. Sat here in front of Doctor Lisa, looking into her beautiful sea-green eyes. I really like those eyes. Those seem like the kind of eyes I would like to rip off and keep in a jar to look at.

Ahem~

"Great to see you today," I greeted.

"You seem… a little calmer than when I saw you last week," Doctor Lisa commented. "Did something good happen?"

"Right! I found a couple of people I can call friends," I told her, trying to keep my excitement contained. "Isn't that great? There's this girl named Catherine and then another little girl named Chloe!"

"That's great!" Doctor Lisa put her clipboard down. "It really is amazing that you've managed to make new friends."

"Yeah, and oh, I made out with a girl at the town fair," I told her just to see her reaction.

"Is there a reason?"

"It was funny."

"Okay… I won't question which way you swing."

I laughed, shaking my head. "No. But the past week has been really interesting."

I noticed the sugar cookies that lay on the table between the two of us. Don't mind if I help myself.

"---, if you don't mind, I need you to do a quiz of sorts," Doctor Lisa told me. "This is important, so please take it seriously."

"What's it about?"

"Just general questions we would like to ask you," Doctor Lisa confirmed.

"What's it for?"

She hesitated in giving an answer. She took a deep breath before saying, "Let me be honest, I don't think this quiz is necessary, but your family is concerned, and there are other people out there who are also concerned."

"Doctor Lisa," I said as calmly as I could. "What's the quiz for?"

"You've been doing better, you've made friends," She continued not answering my question. "I think that with time, you'll truly find yourself."

"Haha," I laughed. "Doc, I am myself."

I shrugged and let out a long sigh, leaning back into my seat. "Whatever, just let me take the quiz and be done with it."

"It'll be a verbal quiz. You don't have to give me a sentence, just give me a number from 1 to 5, 1 being not fine, 5 being fine, okay?"

"Shoot."

"How have you been coping since your father's-"

"4."

"How are you feeling at the moment?"

"5."

"How do you find your current family situation?"

"4."

"How do you find your social life?"

"3."

"How is school?"

"5."

I made direct eye contact with Doctor Lisa. she sighed and asked the last question. "What do you think of your mental state?"

"5."

I smiled at Doctor Lisa and asked her, "That was a rather odd set of questions. What are they for?"

"Well, I doubt those questions would work on you," Doctor Lisa laughed.

She showed me her board where she had written down my answers. She explained herself, "I was trying to do a love language test for you, but I don't think it's accurate."

"Really? What does it say?"

Doctor Lisa you cheeky liar.

"That you're into the flamboyant kind," She told me.

"That's definitely wrong."

We laughed and just continued with our session as per usual. Way to build up suspense, Doctor Lisa, you almost get me with that one.

Back home, I just chilled out.

Let's see what next week brings. Before you ask, yes, I am counting Saturdays as the end of my weeks. Deal with it.