17th July

Sunday. A brand new day.

Sunday~

A joke, hm?

Let me think about it for a second. A joke…

Anyone else gets pissed off when someone asks 'Wanna hear a joke?', then you go 'Sure!' and they're like 'My life. ahaHahA,'.

Seriously, no one gives a shit, it ain't even funny. I don't know if you're experienced in dark humour, but that ain't it. Calling your life a joke is what everyone says because they either feel slightly inconvenienced or have actual problems.

Dark humour?

What does one suicidal friend say to the other? Wanna hang out?

Took my grandma out last night. Had a ton of fun being a hitman.

Anyways, let's get this show on the road!

So I woke up this morning feeling great. I was ready to go on and be someone in the world, maybe do something productive for once. That was until I got a text from Catherine who was once again inviting me out to hang out. You need to understand that when the number of friends you have can be counted on one hand, you have to reply to them.

Besides, I also have to visit Chloe today.

After leaving my room, Fable was sitting at the dining table alone, looking at his phone. I walked out, asking with a smile, "Where's Mom?"

"Mom and Dad went out today to do some shopping," He replied, setting the phone aside and looking at me.

"Pfft, as if they cook."

I stopped in place. "Wait, you put your phone down. Oh no, why did you put your phone down?"

"It's about yesterday," He gave me a dead stare.

"I already apologised very profusely yesterday," I told him. "I mean, I was there, wasn't I?"

"I already knew you were going to run away," He sighed. "It's just that Mom was really worried when we couldn't find you in the house. When Yin came, she also got worried about you."

"Your girlfriend got worried for me?" I asked.

"Yin," He repeated.

"Yeah?"

"You know her name, you should use her name," He grumbled.

"Okay, but I'm rather surprised Yin got worried about me," I commented, sitting down across from Fable. "We barely know each other. Besides, I noticed that you didn't invite anyone else to celebrate your birthday, what's up with that?"

"Yin was the only one who could come," He picked his phone back up.

"Sure she is," I smirked.

He didn't reply and started sending texts. Instead of getting my nose all up in his business, I decided to get ready to hang out with Catherine.

I put on this nice red shirt and track pants before heading out, telling Fable, "Well, I'm heading out, don't get too lonely without me."

"I won't," He stated.

Okay, so remember two weeks ago when Catherine invited me to hang out with her? Yeah me neither. I don't remember much about it.

I made my way over to the nearby park where Catherine was waiting.

"Hello!" I announced my presence.

The park was pretty crowded. Looking around, there were a couple of snack trucks and ice cream trucks in the area. Catherine heard me and looked up. She put her phone away before apologising. "Sorry for the short notice."

"I had nothing to do today anyway," I shrugged. "Except the evening. I gotta do stuff in the evening."

"Sure, that's fine," She said.

We started walking along the path of the garden. Catherine was unusually quiet, and I was too busy looking around. Eventually, Catherine told me, "You're a lot quieter today. Did something happen?"

"No, nothing."

Catherine nodded silently. She sighed and finally said to me, "I don't know what's going on in your life, but you can talk to me about it."

"Like I said, nothing's up," I told her.

The park really was crowded.

"So… you called me out to hang at a park?" I asked her, just in case I was getting anything confused.

"Kinda," She replied. "Also, I wanted to check this place out."

"You've never been here?"

"I have," She confirmed. "Maybe more than ten years ago? I wanna check out what has changed over time."

She pointed to the side. "Those trees have gotten a lot taller. I don't think that statue over there used to be there. Actually, there's barely any change since the last time I walked this park."

"That's nice."

"Last time I came here was with my ex," She continued her story. "We walked around and started talking about what kind of home we would like, what we planned to do in the next five years…"

"Until that fucker ran away," She added nonchalantly.

We reached one of the food trucks. I approached it and ordered some food. "Hello, could I get a corndog?"

"And a cinnamon pretzel," Catherine added.

We got the food and went on our way.

"I'm guessing your life is pretty confusing right now," Catherine said to me.

"Why do you say that?"

"Just the general vibe you've been giving off since yesterday," She elaborated. "Are you stressed or worried about something?"

"Geez, you're sounding like a therapist," I laughed. "But I guess there has been something on my mind. But this is something I want to deal with myself, so please don't question me too much about it, okay?"

"You're really weird."

I bumped into her gently. "You're weird too."

"How am I weird?" Catherine defended herself.

"You're 30 in University. You were a bully in the past and your boyfriend ran away from you for some reason," I listed.

"You're gonna make fun of me because of my ex now?" She raised an eyebrow, a smile creeping onto her face.

"But hey," I smirked. "You gonna invite me to your graduation party?"

"Maybe."

We continued chatting until someone approached us with a phone in hand. The man asked us nicely, "Hello, sorry, but could you help us take a picture?"

His family was there. A wife and two children.

Catherine easily agreed and helped them out with the picture. As they left, they waved us off, we waved back.

When we continued walking, there was a common vibe between us.

That's something we both want.

"You should continue to try for a kid," I encouraged Catherine.

"I don't know," She sighed. "I'm kinda old now, marriage might still be possible, but I'm not too sure about having a kid."

"There are other ways, right? How about test-tube babies?"

"You don't know what test-tube babies are, do you?"

"I know they grow up in a test tube, right? Otherwise, I have no freaking clue."

Catherine simply bumped me aside, smirking. "Yeah, you ain't got a clue."

We were just walking, nothing much was happening. But… for some reason, I feel kind of glad? Wait a minute, am I supposed to be this kind of person?

"Ever thought about what you would do if your boyfriend came back?" I asked out of the blue.

"Punch him in the face," She told me, smiling. "Show him the middle finger."

"Great idea!"

We both laughed it off.

The scenery around us quickly changed from a simple park to an open field that had people playing. Kids were scurrying around, adults were hanging with their children. We sat down on a bench.

"By the way, why are we friends?" I asked Catherine.

"What do you mean why are we friends?" She scoffed. "What? Having an existential dread right now?"

"I mean, we met once at a convenience store, and you were really nice to me," I elaborated, tapping my chin. "I mean, creepily nice. Did anyone ever tell you you're slightly creepy? Like, you invited me to your car a couple of hours after we first met."

"Makes sense," She agreed. "Haven't really thought about it."

"I guess… When I first met you, I was really just too tired to care," She continued. "But when you stuck around, I thought that it was pretty nice to just be with someone, even if you didn't talk much. You know me, I don't have any friends, so I just wanted someone to be with, you know?"

"Very sweet," I told her, leaning on her shoulder.

"How about you? Why didn't you refuse my offer?" Catherine asked me. "I mean, getting into someone's car a couple of hours after you just met them is pretty weird."

"Touche."

I shrugged and explained myself. "Well, you see. This month, my goal is to talk to a bunch of people, and I want to get to know about as many people as possible. I want to form bonds. I thought you were nice, and I took that chance. Luckily, you weren't a pervert or anything."

"Getting to know more people? How's that going?" Catherine smirked.

I stared at her, her eyes gleaming with playful energy I don't think I've ever seen in Catherine before. I simply laughed and elbowed her gently in her side, telling her, "Honestly, not as good as I thought it would go. But at least I got you."

"Very sweet," She said.

There was a slight pause as we both just stared out at the open field. The sky was clear, really clear. It wasn't particularly hot for a summer day, so we were just relaxing in the park. I think I like things like these.

"If I went away, would you be sad?" I asked Catherine. "Cause if you disappeared, I probably would."

"Of course, I would be sad," She told me. "I would have lost my only friend."

"Aww."

We got up and started to leave, walking back to where we came from. I looked up at the sky. Dark clouds were incoming from a distance. Catherine didn't seem too bothered by it and simply continued walking. She asked me, "You wanna go get something to eat? Have you had anything to eat before the corndog?"

"Don't think so," I replied.

"Let's go eat then, my treat."

"Where though?"

"I don't know, somewhere nearby, I guess?"

We made our way to the nearby mall. You see, it's a Sunday, and there were a bunch of people there. In fact, I would go so far as to say that there were too many people around. Yep, too many.

Okay, random thought. So you know when people are lining up for something? Normally people just don't go to the longest queue, right? I mean, that's kinda common sense unless you know exactly what you want. But sometimes I see people just because it was long and therefore should be good.

I mean, why?

What's wrong with you?

Catherine held my shoulder, stopping me from walking. She said to me, "Yo, where are you going? We're here."

Was I spacing out?

That's… weird.

"Sorry, spaced out a little," I laughed lightly. "So what is this place you've brought me to?"

I looked up.

It was a pizza place. Nothing wrong with the name of the establishment, it's called 'Pizga'. No problem with the naming at all. But the damn mascot is a yellow pig. Like, why? Why is the mascot of a pizza place a pig? Why is it yellow?

I need answers.

"Why's the mascot a pig?" I pointed at the sign, facing Catherine.

Catherine looked up as well, raising an eyebrow as she did. After a solid couple of seconds, she turned back, shrugging, "Yeah, their problem, not mine."

She turned and entered the store. I followed after her.

So this is the second time Catherine has brought me to a restaurant. That is more times than I have gone to a restaurant with any other friend. No, Mr Popular doesn't count cause he ain't my friend.

It was a little cramped inside, with people already seated down. The seats and tables were quite compact, and they left the minimum required walking space. Luckily for me, it was late morning, so most of the customers hadn't arrived yet. Yet, why were there still people?

We sat down.

"I'll order, what do you want to get?" Catherine asked me.

I scanned through the menu. Dang, these prices are kinda high. I looked up, pointing at the menu, "Why are they giving several prices for each pizza?"

"It's based on size," Catherine replied. "Small is around six inches, I think? If you want, we could share a pizza."

"I'll share whatever you're having then," I closed the menu. "Oh, and breadsticks."

"Drinks?"

"Sprite? Do they have Sprite? Please tell me they have Sprite."

"They don't have Sprite."

"Check it again?"

Catherine flipped open the menu I had passed to her. She scanned through it herself. "Eh… nope. No Sprite."

"Dammit," I joked around. "I'll have a coke then."

Catherine got off the seat to go order her stuff. I sat down, swinging my legs as I waited for Catherine to return. Out of bloody nowhere, my phone buzzed.

I held it in my hand.

Hm…

I pressed the green button to receive the call.

"Hello?" I asked enthusiastically.

"---, we were thinking about getting some ingredients for you to cook whenever you're free," My Mom told me over the phone. "Do you want to cook anything?"

"No need for that," I told her. "You know we're no good at cooking."

"Well, I mean, you can try," She suggested.

"I've tried before, remember?" I joked. "When I tried cutting the vegetables, you screamed and snatched the knife away from me."

"Yeah, I have a scar because of you."

I laughed before telling her, "Yeah, no need for ingredients… By the way, is dad with you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I mean, you two go out to shop almost every week, but what do y'all even buy?" I asked a genuine question.

"We do cook your breakfast sometimes," She stated.

"Oh right, forgot about that," I chuckled.

"Anyways, if you don't want anything, I'm gonna hang up now, okay?"

"Aight. Bye."

"Bye."

I held the phone against my ear until the beeps sounded, signalling the end of the call. Catherine was watching from a respectable distance away. She cleared her throat before approaching me.

"Who were you calling?"

"My Mom called me," I confirmed.

"Was it anything serious?"

"Nah, just something about groceries, nothing serious at all. Well, I mean, as serious as groceries can get, am I right?"

Catherine looked unimpressed. "How exactly is your relationship with your parents? I was thinking about it 'cause I don't think you talk about your family that much."

"My family's fine," I insisted.

"Then why did you skip your brother's birthday?"

…

Is my eye twitching? Why is my eye twitching? Keep it under control, yeah? Otherwise, things might not go too well.

"Okay, first of all, I didn't skip it, was just late," I defended myself. "My Mom picked me up and dragged me back home, so all's good."

"Are you sure? Are things sour between you and your brother?"

"Nope!" I grinned. "Speaking of sour, do you like sour candies? Just wondering, the question just kinda popped into my head."

"Don't try to change the topic," Catherine told me.

I looked her directly in the eyes. The eyes are the window to a person's soul. But I've found out recently that it is very possible to fake what can be seen through the eyes. Catherine, my dear friend, you seem sincere.

"It's fine," I mumbled my words. "It's better if he spends more time with our parents and his girlfriend…"

"What?"

"Nothing!" I gleamed, looking behind her. "Is the pizza here yet? What flavour did you get?"

Catherine didn't waver.

I slid my hand under the table, clenching and unclenching. My smile was starting to get just a bit forced, so I readjusted myself. Catherine locked eyes with me, telling me, "Do you… not like your family?"

"Love my family to death," I told her frankly.

"Then your brother's…"

I stopped smiling for a split second, and in that split second, I must have shown a glare or something, cause Catherine stopped talking. I chuckled, reaching out to hold her hand. "I don't really feel comfortable talking about these things, okay?"

Just… don't.

Catherine nodded hesitantly.

"Yeah… l-let's talk about this next time, okay?" Catherine patted my hand.

Not long after, we heard someone from the counter call out Catherine's name. Catherine stood up. I commented, "Really good timing, huh?"

"I guess it is."

We got the food, and everything was fine. I'm fine, Cat's fine, everyone's fine. The pizza was fine, just in case, anyone was curious. Yeah… Okay, sorry, I lied. The pizza wasn't just fine, it was amazing.

Catherine seemed willing to just forget about the topic, so we proceeded to talk about pets for some odd reason.

Did I ever mention I never had a pet before in my life? I don't really think much of pets. I mean, they're cute and can act as mental support, but the price to maintain one is... Dang, can't believe Catherine is willing to get a pet.

"Adoption?" I suggested. "I don't think you have to pay, eh?"

"I don't suppose so," Catherine agreed.

I pointed a breadstick at Catherine. "But what kinda pet are you gunning for? Dog? Cat? Komodo Dragon?"

"Who would ever get a Komodo Dragon for a pet?" Catherine cracked a smile.

"You'd be surprised."

Catherine shrugged, staring down at her plate where a half-eaten breadstick lay. I took a sip of coke as she started talking. "I'm not too sure. But it would be nice to have something to go back to every day."

"Mmhma," I tried to speak, forgetting that I was still drinking.

I coughed a couple of times before calming myself down, Catherine smirking as she handed me a paper towel. "You're an idiot."

"That's offensive, I'm offended," I joked with a smile of my own to match Catherine. "I can't believe you've done this to me."

"What were you trying to say just now?"

I sat there, putting a finger forward as if I was about to speak. I paused, my mouth half-open. I retracted my hands, folding them as I looked up at the ceiling.

"This is the darndest thing. I can't freaking remember what I was about to say," I sighed. "What was the conversation before whatever happened with the coke?"

"Something to go back to every day?" Catherine answered.

Catherine was subconsciously, or unconsciously, I honestly can't tell. She was playing around with the cup in her hands, constantly turning it and rubbing the condensation off of it. While doing that, she was looking at me.

"Who knows?" I shrugged.

Catherine scoffed. However, before I could come up with a crafty response of my own, Catherine dropped me a question. "If you could get any pet, what would you get?"

"A Leprechaun," I said, only half-joking.

"Be serious."

"Nah, think about it," I started talking while gesturing with my arms. "If I got a Leprechaun as a pet, I would be the luckiest lady alive! Besides, a Leprechaun means gold, so I get the riches that might be able to cause another Global Financial Crisis cause inflation's a thing and a pot of gold is kinda counterproductive."

"Also, random question, when someone says 'Pot O' Gold', a pot of gold, yeah? It's a pot of gold, innit? Is it just a pot with gold in it or is it a pot made out of gold? Maybe a little bit of both?" I added on, a cup of coke in hand.

"That's a dumb-ass question," Catherine insulted me.

I paused a little, blinking a few times. I inhaled before saying to Catherine, "Could you humour me a little?"

"How about this question then?" Catherine proposed. "If you hit yourself in the arm and it breaks, are you weak or are you strong?"

"Obviously yo-"

I grinned and pointed at her. "You're cheeky."

Catherine let out a scoff and a smile.

After we finished up, Catherine went over to pay for the meal. We walked by each other's side in the mall.

"When are you graduating, by the way?" I asked.

"Next year," Catherine replied. "Can't wait to get my damn diploma and be done with all of this studying bullshit."

"But you would have to go into the working bullshit," I added on.

"True," Catherine nodded in agreement. "But at least I can finally pay off my loan."

We walked by an ice cream parlour, so my eyes were instantly glued to it, even after we walked past it. I only snapped out of it when Catherine tapped me on the shoulder, saying to me, "After I get a job, how about we go out to celebrate? You can drink, right?"

"Me?" I pointed at myself, raising an eyebrow. "Of course, I can drink. But getting me and alcohol mixed up?"

I made an 'X' symbol with my hands, shaking my head. "Nah, won't work out between the two of us. Kinda like oil and water."

Oil and water huh?

"Have you tried?"

"I have," I admitted honestly.

I chuckled as I told her the story. "I wanted to be a grownup as quickly as I could, so I wanted to drink an alcoholic drink the moment my 18th birthday came. Only 18 though, house rules. Yeah, my Mom told me that I tried forcing my way out the window and jumping out?"

"That's really intense," Catherine noted.

"Yeah, but you've never seen my brother drink before."

"What did he do?"

"H-" I hesitated.

Let me weigh the pros and cons of whatever I was going to say. That's what schools always preach to us, yeah? Right, right… Hm… indeed… that is very interesting. Yes! I mean, no, but yes! Ha!

"He did the sex with his girlfriend at the time," I told Catherine just to see a reaction.

"What?"

"I mean, it was legal, I guess?" I shrugged. "Over 16, that's the law, innit? But he went off to get a little bit too drunk and didn't just bonk his girlfriend, no. He knocked her up too, was a real big thing for a while. No worries, I'm like, 90% sure it was consensual."

Catherine blinked a few times.

She put her hands in front of her as if to stop me from talking to her any further. "Okay, you just dropped a huge bomb right there."

"I'm not a terrorist."

Catherine gave me a look. I asked her, "What? It's true."

Catherine cleared her throat. "Right, so your brother got a girl pregnant when he was 16? Did your parents kill him?"

"As far as killing, not at all," I explained. "But they do constantly threaten to kick him out of the house."

"What about the girl? How did she feel?"

"I dunno. Never got the chance to ask her," I swung my arms high. "Wasn't much of a talker back then."

"Wouldn't you have a niece or nephew now?"

"What? No," I laughed. "It almost happened, but thank god I don't have to deal with a mini Fable running around the place."

Catherine sighed. "At least the girl could get pregnant."

"Right, right, 'cause you're, you know,"

I puffed up my cheeks before letting out some air. "You do realise people can choose whether or not to have a kid now, right?"

"She went for an abortion?" Catherine asked, looking slightly offended.

"From what I heard, she did try to get an abortion," I told her. "Fable really wanted to correct his mistakes, so he pressured her to get an abortion. Not sure about the girl though, didn't have the time to ask."

"Can't you speak with her? Ask her if she's doing alright or something," Catherine suggested.

"Pfft, what? Nah, that's impossible!"

"Why?"

"Cause she fucking died, that's why," I stated, still smiling brightly at Catherine. "Tried to do the abortion herself and poked the wrong place by accident, or so the police say."

I shrugged it off, telling Catherine, "And that is why my brother should be permanently banned from ever drinking again."

I clapped and pointed in a different direction. "Anyways, let's change the topic a little, shall we? I've been having a little trouble with something lately, and I think you could provide some really helpful advice."

"You want advice?" Catherine raised an eyebrow. "Then why did you point at the Tesco?"

"I dunno."

I continued, "Yeah, I've been trying to get closer to this girl in my class, she's been bullying me since the first day of Highschool. But but but, she's been feeling a little under the weather lately, and I can't help but worry that she would never show up to school again."

"Shouldn't you be glad that she's gone, then?"

"That's the thing! I'm not!" I told her, sighing.

"You're a weirdo," Catherine insulted lovingly.

"Thank you."

We made it to the entrance of the shopping mall. Catherine said to me, "I'm gonna have to bounce now, let's talk again next time."

"Can't meet you on weekdays cause of your internship or whatever, yeah?" I confirmed. "Next Saturday, then."

"You know you can text me, right?"

"Ew, no."

We laughed a little. Catherine closed in on me and gave me a hug. I hugged her back, the hug only lasting a couple of seconds. She waved me off, saying, "Okay, bye then."

"Buh-bye."

Walking off, I needed to find my way back home. Along the way, I guess I wasn't paying attention when walking, so I accidentally bumped into someone. The person said a brief 'sorry' before walking off.

Huh…

Am I feeling tired…?

Well, whatever.

I was planning to go have a little chat with Chloe today. I really hope Ms Granger didn't make the situation that bad. Children are really fragile, aren't they? They cry, they break way too easy. Both mentally and physically.

So riddle me this.

What happens when you put a struggling child in denial and the cold, harsh truth together?

No idea.

I entered the house to see my Mom on the couch. She was watching television with a disgruntled expression. Fable could be vaguely heard in the background clicking on his keyboard.

"Why are you always on the couch?" I asked her jokingly. "I mean, you've got a room."

"Fable told me you went out, so I was waiting for you," She replied.

"Waiting for me?"

She sighed. My Mom shifted to the side and patted the spot on the couch right beside her. I locked the door before sitting down beside her.

"Do you remember when you were little and would always have a bright light in your eyes?" My Mom started talking. "Full of curiosity, the sweetest girl I've ever known."

"Not as sweet as you think," I added on.

"Yeah…" She nodded. "But you've grown, you're no longer a child. —, you can make your own decisions, but there are just some things you need to understand."

"I know."

I clenched my hand tightly, pressing it against the couch and out of my Mom's line of sight. I put up my finest smile. "I won't do it again."

She nodded, giving me a strained smile. She patted my shoulder twice before getting up. I asked as she walked away, "Wait, you're just gonna leave the tele on? It's about to end, I think? Is it?"

I proceeded to watch the rest of the show without knowledge of the first 80% of whatever happened.

"Could you believe the balls on Hugh?" I asked myself after the show ended. "That bastard cheated on his girl and he somehow gets a happy ending with the girl he cheated on?"

I got up, turned to television off and made my way to my own room.

"Bullshit ending," I complained.

I rested for a bit before packing my bag to go see Chloe at Kaster's. On my way out, dad had also left his room to go to the kitchen. He asked me, "Where are you going?"

"Kaster's. Seeing a friend," I replied bluntly as I tied the shoelaces to my sneakers.

"Oh…"

"I'll be back in time for dinner, if that's what you're curious about," I told him. "By the way, what are we getting for dinner?"

"Well, we were planning on going out as a family for dinner," He answered.

"I think I might be back in time for that. Depends on what I do, actually."

"Are you sure?" He asked me.

"Why?"

Dad shrugged with a mug in hand. "I mean, you've never really been interested in spending time as a family."

"I wonder why."

He let out a sigh before placing the mug on the dining table. "---, I know you don't really… like me, to say the least, but we are a family."

"Since when have I ever said I didn't like you?" I laughed. "You're my dad, no?"

"Y-"

"Anyways, I don't wanna be late," I cut him off. "I'm gonna head out now."

Skip the bus ride.

Skip the homeless guy I saw getting beaten up on my way.

I'm at Kaster's now.

"Here to see Chloe," I told the receptionist guy.

He looked up from his phone and inhaled deeply. I sweat, no one inhales deeply unless they're about to hold their breath or break some bad news.

"The Director suggests that you…" He said slowly. "Perhaps, don't meet Chloe right now…?"

"What?"

"Chloe isn't feeling too good today," He elaborated. "I think it's best if you give her some space, especially since… you know."

I nodded and stepped away. I glanced into Kaster one more time before turning around and leaving. Chloe isn't feeling well?

That is not good.

Not good at all…