Chapter 6: True Reason

"My apologies, I don't know what has gotten into me. "Sniffing on his reddish nose, Ethan apologized for his behavior.

"Ah, perhaps it's because you finally relaxed yourself after being in tension for so long. "Desperately trying to prevent him to suspect onto the drink I gave him, I told him an excuse in hopes that he buy it.

I only hope that he doesn't notice how much I'm sweating because of this. I won't get into big trouble for drugging the Prince of Meala right? Who am I kidding, I will!

"...… Perhaps you're right. "To my surprise, not only he believed my petty excuse, a faint smile was seen forming on his face. A clear display of full trust towards me.

… Great, now I feel guilty.

"Say, Natalisia. If you knew this much, why did you want to marry me? You don't seem like someone who would pick a risky option like myself. "After his sobbing session, Ethan seems to be more open towards me. As much as I hate to admit it, the drug indeed works like a charm. But, I do still feel guilty for drugging him, I too should spill an equivalent amount of personal information to him.

I can't bully my future husband too much now.

"Well..... I guess you can say this little one make me go this far. After juggling all of my options, you are a risk I'm willing to take. "Hands gently stroking on my abdomen, I told him the secret which only I know of.

"Do you wish to find it a father? "He asked and I shook my head.

"Unlike Meala, women who got pregnant before marriage won't face a consequence as bad as those in your country. Women are the dominant gender here, so no one would question even if we end up raising a child without a partner. What I wanted was not a father for the baby, but someone who I am certain that will never hurt the child no matter the circumstances...…. There's no one in this country could satisfy such simple condition. But, when the marriage proposal came from Meala, I felt as if I finally saw a ray of hope towards my desperate condition. "I circled my hands protectively over my abdomen.

"Desperate condition? "Ethan furrowed his brows. It seems that his intel is not as complete as mine. But, I guess it doesn't matter, I'm going to tell him anyways.

"Do you remember when I said that my sister and I almost had our relationship torn apart? Mother had strict orders that none of the incident get leaked out to the public. But, it is something that everyone in the high society knew about yet didn't dared to talk about it. Want to guess what is that incident is about? "I gave him a wry smile. Ethan's eyes met with mine for quite some time, it felt as if he was looking into my soul. Strangely, I felt at ease by looking into his eyes. It didn't take long for his gaze to shift towards my abdomen.

"...…. The baby? "He pointed.

"Close. Try again. "I encouraged. He went quiet as he brainstormed on my hints. Then, he came to a sudden pause as he thought of something.

"...….. The baby's father. "He stated as he looked at me, being certain of his answer. I shifted my gaze back onto the carpeted floor and nodded in acknowledgement of his answer. After being quiet for a short while, I told him our story.

"I was born with a rather weak body and my father is a low ranking concubine, so my mother didn't expected me to become her successor. Thanks to this, despite spending most of my days in bed, I had a rather blissful childhood. That's when I first met him. "I stared at the fire and began reminiscing about the past.

"He was a war slave who was being auctioned in an underground market. I bought him because I saw his talents when Estella snuck me out of the palace to play. Father was rather furious, but I managed to convince him that the little boy could be the use of mine. So, he was permitted to stay by my side with the name, Dawn. As you could probably tell, I fell in love with him throughout the years. "

"...…. What happened? "

"...…. My father. "I hugged onto my knees as I talked more of the cruel man who is known as my father.

My father was just a low ranking concubine when he entered the palace. Later, he was given the honor to have a child with the Empress where I was born as the results. By right, he should've risen as a high ranking concubine for having an imperial child. But, I was born with a weak body and was deemed to be unsuitable to be a successor. So, mother did not rise his status so that I could be raised as a normal child. Father too said that he didn't cared as long as I could grow up healthy.

However, things began to change when my father discovered that I possesses higher intelligence than the children my age.

Just like any other children in this world, I wanted my father to be happy and be proud of me. Being fully aware of my body's condition, I put my focus on areas that doesn't require me to fight or move physically. If I could not be a Queen that fights in the front lines, then I shall be the one that control it all behind the scenes. After all, I am too my mother's daughter. Just like Estella, I desired the throne.

Just proving my intelligence to my mother was not enough to convince her. Hence, I finding who could fill in that gap of mine. Someone who could be my blade. And that someone is Dawn.

Dawn didn't have a childhood, he was already fighting in the war for as long as he remembers. He knew absolutely nothing about the world aside from combat and killing. And as a slave of war, being loyal to his master was the sole thing that was imprinted in his mind. It's crazy, but he is the best person for the job.

Therefore, I send him into training so that he could be my sharpest blade. And during his free time, I would teach him how to be human and how to be a child of his age. Not for any other reasons, simply because I didn't want him to live like an emotionless robot.

I had everything planned out, as soon as we have matured enough, I shall prove my worth to mother as earn my rights to be a potential candidate for the throne. But things got haywire during an accident where I was forced to reveal all of my cards in order to survive. Even though the timing was immature, mother saw potential and acknowledged my worth.

At the age of 12, I was officially acknowledged as a strong candidate to the throne. And it was at that time, father had turned into someone I could barely recognize.

Father became stranger to me when I realized that he was trying to weed out everything that potentially stands in my way to the throne. Estella, who is the first born was his first target. My sister is a pain at times, but I know she genuinely loved me. So, I pulled the strings from behind and made sure that my father's plans foil each time. I have even lost count on how many times that I have to cover for my father's mistakes, but he wouldn't listen even if I told him so.

Hence, he left me no choice but to sign a secret agreement with Estella in regards to the throne's succession.

We argued that day, it was my first time openly rebel against my father. But, in the end, I was victorious in the argument as I have successfully convinced him that I have more advantages over Estella. I believed that it was the end of the topic, but it turned out that I was too naïve.

On the age of 16, on the night of my age coming ceremony, I broke a promise I made to my parents. Driven by the feelings we had for each other over the years, I had Dawn to be the man who invites me to womanhood.

After that night, I requested my mother to grand me the permission to take Dawn as my consort. Of course, my mother said no as she and father didn't approve of Dawn. But, as compared to my father, mother was more of an negotiable option.

In exchange for the permission to marry Dawn, I promised to resolve a problem which had troubled mother for a long time. So, as soon as I settled the deal with mother, I immediately left the capital to fulfill my mother's challenge.

I was confident, so confident that I even left Dawn alone in the capital to prepare for the wedding which I had promised him. I promised that, as soon as I have returned, we'll get marry.

While I was out of the capital, I came to notice that I was pregnant. But, I didn't want to have children this early just yet. There are still many things I need to do, so I decided to give up on the child and try again with Dawn once everything is stable.

Then, I got the news that I rushed back to the capital without completing the task mother gave me.

My father had gotten rid of Dawn.

Somehow, one of Estella's concubines had learned about my agreement with Estella as well as my relationship with Dawn. He told my father of my relationship with Dawn and what we had done on the night of my age coming ceremony. Having strong thoughts on the fact that a mere slave had dared to taint his daughter, Father decided to rid Dawn from my life.

When I finally returned...…. It was too late.

The first thing I thought of was not anger, but fear. I have taken the abortion medicine a few times before I heard the news. Desperate to keep what's could've be the last of Dawn's existence, I did everything I can to make sure the child within would die because of my foolish decision. As if God had heard my desperate prayers, our child miraculously survived.

As soon as I was certain that my child is safe, I made sure that everyone involved pay for what they did.

Every. Single. One. Of. Them!

In the end, my mother had to calm my wrath herself. Estella handed over parts of her military strength, her wealth and even had to cut off her concubine's head just to show me her sincerity. I may have agreed to stop, but the damage was permanently there. I didn't know who to trust as I still couldn't understand how that concubine learn what Dawn and I had done. A traitor? A spy? Or is it so obvious that everyone could tell?

I didn't know. All I know that the people around me had all become a potential threat.

If all I did was love Dawn and it already resulted to this. What would happen if they learn of the existence of our baby?

I admit. I'm scared, so scared that I desperately wanted a ally whom I can trust. Anyone would do, just don't take away what's left of me.....

And then...…. The marriage proposal came from Meala and it felt as if I finally got my answer.

"...…. So, that's why you choose me. "Ethan muttered after hearing my side of the story.

"...….. My apologies, I was desperate and you just happened to come at the right timing. Pathetic, right? "I gave him a bitter smile.

"...….. I guess we are the same in the end. Choosing each other because that we're desperate in our own situation. "Ethan returned the smile, but I noticed something in his words.

"...….. Can I assume what you meant in your words? "

"I guess so. I guess I'll be in your care from now on, Princess. "Ethan smiled as he confirmed my question.

"...… Likewise, my consort. "I returned the smile and we both giggled at how ugly and pathetic we both look in this state. Even so, the outcome will not change.

Today, Femalia Empire had agreed to form a diplomatic marriage with the Meala Kingdom.