Chapter 44

-Sasuke's POV-

She's drunk.

Don't do it. Don't say it.

Don't tell her how you feel now because she might not be able to comprehend it.

Taking a strengthening, deep breath, I returned to sit next to her, handing over her glass before pretending to focus on the video game on screen. It'd be hard to miss her uncharacteristically tossing back half of her drink even if I wasn't acutely attuned to her every action, though.

Then she noticed me sneaking a glance and just by the look on her flushed face I could tell she was about to start talking. Every time she drinks, once her mouth starts moving it doesn't stop, quite the opposite of how she is at all other times. I stopped her before she could begin, but she insisted.

Then she apologized. The guilt in her tone left a bad taste in my mouth and I tried to get a question in, but to my surprise she cut me off and kept going still.

"I like you as more than a f-friend." Drunk and practically slurring her words, she confessed.

Time seemed to stand still for a long moment as I stared at her with wide eyes, utterly stunned. Never in a million years did I think she'd be the one to say it first, not Hinata. Her lips began moving again, pulling me from my surprised daze. The moment she said the words "interview" and "Haku", all the unease and anxiety I've felt toward her this past week disappeared, only to be replaced with overwhelming relief.

By the way she's been acting towards me lately, I've begun to think everything I did with her since Christmas was a giant mistake. I thought I scared her away. Now that I know the issue was with herself and not me, there's no reason I can't do what I want. She even said she likes me, so why not?

I cut off her stuttering and kissed her. The moment her soft lips touched mine, the tipsy haze half-lifted and I pulled away, facing the television again as I cursed myself inwardly.

Damn it! I shouldn't have done that! Neither of us are completely sober and she's likely to get the wrong idea. What if she thinks I'm trying to take advantage of the fact she's been drinking? I don't want that.

Hell, even if I could possibly fathom the idea of her sleeping with me at this point, I'd never want us to be drunk the first time. That's just disrespectful.

Other than the obvious issue, that she's a virgin, I can't let myself treat her like any of the women I've been involved with in my entire life. I can't fall back on my usual approach or habits because she's not just a random fling. This is Hinata . The last thing I want to do is hurt her. That's why I haven't jumped off the edge and acted brazenly with her yet. If I make one wrong move, just a single mistake, everything can and likely will be ruined. What if I-

The sound of her saying my name in a voice I've never heard snapped me from my panicked thoughts and I turned my head to give her my attention, only for those soft lips to press against mine again. A jolt of disbelief came over me, but I quickly got over it and responded, moving her more comfortably in between my legs.

If I'm being honest, I'm kind of disappointed I didn't get a better look at her face before she went for it because I'd love to see her eyes. What do they look like right now, I wonder? They've been bright with emotion all night long, but which one would they portray if she opened them for me to see?

Hinata…she's actually a really good kisser. That's yet another surprise. Maybe I've been underestimating her all this time.

I didn't dare move until she seemed to relax a bit and moved her hands down from my face. Carefully, I tested the waters and slowly moved my hands under her shirt to feel the hot and soft skin of her hips.

Fuck…

What the hell is this feeling? It feels like my heart's going to burst right from my chest. Am I… nervous? Is Hinata Hyuuga, of all people, making me flustered? What the fuck!

My subconscious was beginning to get frustrated with my lack of control, but I refused to let it bother me and focused on the gorgeous woman between my legs. She makes me want to kiss her like I've never kissed anyone before. All these years, I've treated any woman in my life like the flings that they are. There have been no soft touches, no sentiment, and certainly not this level of trust.

For the past multiple weeks, I've been wondering endlessly if things will feel differently because it's Hinata and I can already tell they are. Truth be told, I'm not big on making out unless it's directly before sex, but this…this isn't the same. I could do this all day. Happily, too. It feels good. It makes me feel…happy? Yeah, that's it. This makes me happy.

A loud notification sound tore us from the drunken haze we'd fallen into and when my eyes opened and locked onto hers, surprise froze me. No one's ever looked at me like that. Her eyes, they're full of… warmth , I guess is the best way to describe it. That superficial lust and adoration that I've seen my entire life since becoming sexually active as a teenager, there's not even the slightest trace of it.

Then she kissed me again and then one more time before crawling out from in between my legs and checking her phone, which I finally realized had been the cause of the notification sound.

I looked down at my palms, eyes still wide. She let me touch her like that and didn't panic in the slightest. Hell, she's the one who started all this! This night just keeps getting crazier and crazier. God, her skin's so smooth and supple. I want to feel it all, every single centimeter.

My gaze trailed over to her profile as she typed quickly on her phone, face bright red from the liquor and likely a bit from what we just did. It traveled down to her legs, the pale skin bare for me to see under her pajama shorts. I itched to know what it feels like for them to be around my hips, to press against her.

A very familiar sensation arose and my head came down from the clouds as I crossed my legs and grabbed the pillow I'd been using to cushion my back so I could place it on my lap.

She's gotta go.

When she turned to face me again, she seemed more like herself and began apologizing. I gave her as normal an expression as possible with my current predicament and suggested calling it a night. Thankfully, she didn't seem offended or hurt and agreed. The moment the door to the bathroom closed behind her, I sighed loudly and looked down at the pillow in my lap.

Hinata's dangerous and she doesn't even know it.

-Sakura's POV-

My eyes remained locked downwards, onto my lap, as Gaara drove us back to the house.

I gave up trying to stop the tears the moment I realized Hinata found out the truth. How she figured it out, I don't know, but she did. My friend looked completely distraught when she realized I couldn't deny her accusation. She'll never admit that I hurt her feelings by not confiding in her, but I know I did. If the roles were reversed, I'd feel the same way.

Will this change the way she looks at me? …Who am I kidding? Of course it will. She's never going to be able to look at me again without being reminded of the fact that not only am I a weak and abused woman, but I tried to hide it from her, from my friend. And Gaara …

I glanced over to see his jaw was flexed as he grit his teeth tightly and focused on the road. He's obviously more than upset with me right now. He's angry and he has every right to be. This is the second time he's let me cry in his arms without a single word of thanks or explanation.

The redhead's probably even more hurt than Hinata because he's actually had to deal with the worst of it, with me physically breaking down in front of him. Despite all this, he hasn't said a word since we got in the car.

"Is it the same thing as before?" That's what he asked me when he took me from Hinata at LMC a bit ago. All I could do was nod, hoping the small bit of honesty would make up for the mountain of deception I've created over the past week, but also knowing it was futile.

The only sound was the heater running on max and the windshield wipers keeping the falling snow off the front window. Gaara knows it's something big and that's why he hasn't said anything.

Does he want to know, though? Probably not. I can't imagine how upset he'll be with both me and Sasori if he finds out. Am I actually doing him a favor by keeping him out of it? To have knowledge that something illegal, something so heinous, occurred and be asked to not act on it and keep it a secret…That's some heavy stuff. Trust me, I know. It's been tearing me apart from the inside out.

"We're home."

His soft voice broke my hectic thought process and I looked over in time to see him open the door and climb out. He had my own door open before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt. I wiped at my eyes with one hand and accepted his outreached one with my other. When we got inside, we kicked off our snow-covered shoes off by the door and took off our winter gear.

I trudged into my room with my best attempt at not hanging my head in shame, only to jump when Gaara's voice came behind me, "I can stay, if you want."

I shook my head, "No, it's alright. I'm sorry about all this."

He didn't say anything, but I also didn't hear him leave my room either. Maybe he's still worried and won't leave me alone until he sees with his own eyes that I'm not going to lose it again. So I'll just have to get ready for bed as though nothing happened.

Entering the bathroom after getting some clothes from my dresser, I took a shower. Somehow, knowing Gaara was undoubtedly listening helped distract me from what happened earlier and I was able to stop crying. About ten minutes later, I climbed out and dried off before dressing and doing my skin care.

Normally I'd toss my hair up in a messy bun so it'd dry all wavy and cute, but I'm not sure if the bruises on my skin were quite gone yet and would hate for him to notice even the slightest discoloration and start asking questions. The only dark bruises I have now are the ones around my upper arms from the party, but they're easily hidden with just a normal short-sleeved shirt so he shouldn't be able to catch a glimpse.

I took a deep breath before opening the door to my room, ready to put on a fake smile and act normal so he'll go to his own room and leave me to wallow in my panic, but when I looked up he was sitting on the edge of my bed with two items in his hands: the thick envelope from the hospital and the broken necklace from Sasori. My body acted before I could comprehend what was happening and I rushed to try and grab them out of his grasp, but he moved them away slightly with his teal eyes darker than usual.

Fear froze me as I stood in front of him, eyes wide, "Give me those, Gaara."

The concerned tone of his voice broke my heart as he gave me a pleading look, "This is from the hospital , Sakura. What's going on?"

My mouth fell open slightly in disbelief as I glanced down at the still-sealed package before meeting his eye again and trying to lie even though I know now that it's useless, "I-It's nothing important. You don't need to worry."

"Are you sick or something?"

I shook my head, teeth grit. The passive and calm expression he always has was becoming more suspecting by the second and his usually warm seafoam eyes were getting uncharacteristically dark, putting a shiver down my spine.

"Sakura, please tell me what's wrong. I'm worried about you." Normally his face would be the same color as his hair when saying something so honest, but it wasn't.

I made another desperate grab for the awful items, but he moved above his head to keep them out of reach. My panic rose and I threw caution to the wind and climbed up to try and wrestle his arms down.

"S-Sakura!" His back hit the bed, my knees on either side of his waist as I tore the envelope from his hand and tossed it to the floor where neither of us could get it before focusing on trying to pry his fingers from around the diamond necklace.

Tears flowed heavily down my face when he reached up with his now empty hand to try and still me so he could properly meet my eye and figure out what has me acting so desperately, but I ignored him and kept fighting.

"Sakura, stop! Look at me, what's wrong?"

I spoke in a half-sob, half-yell, "Let go!"

Either me losing my cool made him mad or he'd finally had enough of my refusal to face him properly, but suddenly my back was against the mattress and he was staring down into my eyes with a look of absolute bewilderment as we both panted for breath.

For a long time, neither of us moved or blinked or said a word, but we couldn't just stay like that forever so he eventually broke the silence, "You have to tell me what's going on. Please."

I shook my head, wiping at my heavily falling tears as I tried to ignore the terror itching the small of my back and around my throat. This position…it's similar to when Sasori…

"Why? What's so bad that you can't tell me ?"

For the second time since meeting him, Gaara was losing his temper. The first time was when I made him argue with me after he told my mom about Garrett. I shook my head more quickly, "I-I can't!" My hands came up to cover my face so I wouldn't have to see the hurt and angry expression anymore, but that just made things worse.

"At least tell what the deal is with this necklace." I sensed a soft thud on the mattress beside us, likely him dropping the piece of jewelry in question, before his hands grabbed mine and he wrestled my arms down so I couldn't hide my face anymore.

Then it wasn't Gaara on top of me anymore. I froze in terror. We aren't even in Konoha now. No, it's Sasori and we're in that cabin. He held my wrists down just like this when I first pulled away because he didn't stop after I asked very clearly.

My breath got caught in my throat and my eyes went as wide as possible. My blood became ice in my veins, but the spot on my lower back burnt like someone was trying to brand the skin there with hot iron. My chest heaved as I tried to intake a breath and couldn't.

Gaara immediately realized something was wrong and let go, "Sakura..?" I was able to realize it was him once he released my hands and a ragged gasp passed my lips.

My hands shook as I brought them up so I could inspect my wrists. The bruises aren't there anymore, they're gone. He can't hurt me like that again. It's Gaara here, not Sasori. Gaara would never do something like that.

"Why did you break that necklace? I saw your neck the other night." His voice was many levels softer and subdued than it'd been just a moment ago. I shook my head, letting my hands fall onto the blanket.

He's going to make me tell him whether it's for his own good or not. The fact that he's acting like this is enough to convince me of that. Just like last time we argued, he doesn't care if it makes me hate him. All he cares about is if I'm safe or not so I can't even get upset at him for it.

"And there were bruises on your wrists."

My gaze refocused onto his and I realized I might not have to say it out loud. The look on his face told me he might just be figuring it out on his own. One moment there was a strong suspicion and the next was panic and realization and then he came down to rest one of his hands against the mattress to hold himself up. My limbs trembled at the terrifying expression he stared at me with.

"Are there more?"

Does he mean are there more items I want to keep away or does he mean are there more bruises? Probably the second since he isn't getting off of me. Other than the bruises on my upper arms and the dark one on my lower back, almost everything else has healed.

I shook my head, "They're gone by now."

To my surprise, his eyes darted across the room and then he was off of me and retrieving the package from the hospital. I got to my feet with the intention of stopping him and he looked up as though he intended to obey if I told him no, but for some reason I didn't. My hand froze half-reached out toward him and my mouth was open with words that didn't come out. That's when I realized I desperately do want him to know the truth so I don't have to hide it anymore. I want him to know how hurt I've been and I want him to understand and not judge me and not hate me for it.

My voice shook as I dropped my hand to my side, "You're right. You should know why I've been like this. Go ahead."

At this point, if he sees them I likely won't feel any more disgusting than I already do. They're supposed to have blurred out the personal areas and my face so it's not like he'll be seeing me naked. This way I won't have to say the words out loud.

Gaara's face went completely blank for a long time before his eyes fell slowly down to the package in his hands. It was easy to read him. He's just as unsure if he wants to look or not as I am of the fact that I'm giving him the option.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.

When the sound of the package being opened met my ears, I squeezed my eyes shut. Panic shot through me out of nowhere a millisecond later and I sat up straight, making him freeze, "B-But please don't hate me because of this! I…"

Wide teal eyes, full of confusion, danced back down to the envelope and he hesitated for a moment more before turning it on its side so the contents would slide out onto his other hand.

I should've looked away. Hell, I should've left the room entirely because the moment I caught a glimpse of the photo on top, wild panic and fear flooded my entire being. Did it really look that bad? It's been less than two weeks since those photos were taken and yet even I was somehow taken back by how dark and large the bruises were on my skin.

My entire body trembled as I tried to inhale and couldn't, only to choke on it when suddenly all the photos and papers were on the floor and Gaara was halfway on the edge of the bed hugging me. Then I was crying, my favorite pastime these days. I think I tried to apologize for not being honest through my sobs, but can't be sure.

Somehow we ended up falling to the side to lay on the bed, him holding me tightly against his chest. He doesn't want me to see his face right now and I know that. Whenever he gets upset, I can tell he doesn't like being around others. I think he's worried he'll scare me.

A long time passed, maybe an hour or maybe it was more, I don't know. Eventually the tears stopped and I lay there with my fingers loosely gripping the shirt on his back, half-dazed and greedily allowing his body heat to bring me some comfort. Long fingers ran slowly through my hair, over and over in a soothing manner. The other arm remained firmly around me, holding me close with an air of protection like he was ready and willing to fight anything or anyone that dared come near me.

I bet he would, too. Gaara's an amazing friend and person. I don't think I've ever met someone who's just so completely good, by all definitions of the word.

"I'll never hate you."

My fingers tightened around the handful of shirt I was holding under his shoulder blades as I buried my face deeper into his chest, "Stay." He didn't say anything, but continued his steady and soothing actions, pressing his lips against the top of my head.

-Gaara's POV-

Sasori is a dead man. He'd better appreciate his last days alive because when I get ahold of him…

Calm down. Sakura's right in front of you, don't let yourself get worked up. She needs you right now.

The woman was asleep, I think. Her breathing had evened out a few minutes ago and she hasn't moved a muscle since. Long pink hair was soft between my fingers and I looked down at it with sleep-heavy eyes. I can't believe she let me see those photos. More than that, I can't believe something so awful happened to her in the first place.

The other night, when I was worried she was hiding more markings under her long sleeved, heavy clothing, I was correct. There were so many and they were so fucking dark.

Tears rose in my eyes as I imagined how scared and helpless she must've felt all alone with such a monster. Now the broken necklace made sense. I can just picture her seeing it when she got home and panicking. The thought had me tightening my hold around her and she unconsciously mirrored the act, a soft sound coming from where her face was buried in my shirt. She's sleeping.

Sakura tried to fight, which wasn't something she should ever be forced to do. I saw her hands in the one photo I was able to stomach looking at, the very first one on top, and her knuckles were bruised and scraped, a few nails broken. No wonder she's been such a mess. I've gotten to know her quite well over the past year. If she puts her complete all into something and it doesn't yield positive results, it tears her apart. Just to think of how hard she must've tried to protect herself from someone so much bigger and stronger…it's too tragic to think about for too long.

I can't help but feel like it was partially my fault for not insisting she take my warnings more seriously when I told her what I overheard Hidan saying on the phone. I'll take the blame happily if it'll help her not blame herself so much.

Sakura's not doing well right now, but I know she'll find a way to overcome this. She's one of the strongest and most stubborn people I know. Until then, I'm not letting her go through one more minute of suffering alone, whether she wants me around or not.

One thing I know for sure is no one, and I mean no one , is ever going to hurt her like that again. Not over my dead body.

-Hinata's POV-

In the morning I woke up with a headache from drinking no water before bed and an uneasy stomach from anxiously tossing and turning all night.

The more time that passes from the moment I kissed Sasuke, the more I come to wonder if it was a mistake or not. Half the time I can't tell what the hell he's thinking, but I still foolishly jumped him at the slightest sign of affection without stopping to consider if it was platonic. There's at least some level of attraction between us, neither of us can deny that at this point, but ever since the day we first met I can't tell if he's joking when he flirts with me or not.

Rubbing my eyes, I groaned loudly and sat up. I need to quit making a habit of going to bed after drinking without having some water at the ready. Just a teeny tiny bit of the sky was showing past the crack in my curtains, but it was enough for me to see that it was cloudy and overcast: the perfect weather to not do a single thing all day.

Apparently that thought jinxed it because my phone vibrated on my nightstand. I turned to pick it up, falling heavily onto my side and squeezing a pillow between my legs and torso as I clicked it open. A group chat message lay in wait, the one with just the girls: me, Sakura, Ino, and Tenten.

"Spa day?"

I glanced at the closed bathroom door and pictured Sasuke still fast asleep in his room past the walls separating us. Perhaps a day without any boys could do us some good.

My mind wandered to my pink-haired friend and my frown deepened further. Since things played out the way they had last night, I didn't get the chance to actually have a conversation with her about what I found out. Will she try to avoid the topic?

Tenten texted back before Sakura or I could, "Hell yeah! New year, new me!"

Neither of them waited for my bandmate or I to respond before assuming we were in and simply sent the info for where and when to meet. With a sigh, I got out of bed and stretched my arms above my head, wincing when there was a pull at my shoulders. Hopefully the spa offers massages.

Sakura and I met downstairs around noon so we could head out. Once we were in the car and on the road, she spoke before I could figure out what on earth to say, "About last night: it happened and it's awful, but I'm dealing with it. I just need you to be there for me and let me do what I need to do, okay?"

I blinked in surprise. She isn't avoiding it like I thought she would. Some might consider her approach a bit rude, but I know better. Sakura's simultaneously making it clear she doesn't want to talk about the subject and that I need to keep things quiet in the meantime.

"Of course. I'm here for you no matter what."

She finally glanced over and gave me a small smile with her pretty green eyes watering up ever so slightly, "Thank you."

Soon, we met up with the other half of our posse at one of Konoha's most elite and high-rated day spas. After getting massages, we ended up in a private sauna room with towels. Ino and Tenten have primarily carried the conversation today, with Sakura and I piping in once in a while, but the blond model switched up the topic to something that piqued all of our interest at once, "So what do you guys think about Sai?"

My eyebrows rose with mild surprise, "I thought you didn't like him. The way you acted the other day…"

She waved a hand of dismissal, "Haven't you heard of playing hard to get? Men want what they can't have. Works every time." Either the sauna was getting to me or I began blushing. Who knows?

Sakura smiled at her, "He's super talented, not to mention hot."

Ino squealed loudly, making Tenten laugh, "Right? I think I might "accidentally" interrupt another one of your practices."

Prestige's mentor spoke as she fixed her thick hair into a bun on the top of her head, "I haven't had a chance to talk to him, but Tsunade seems to love him, so that's a good sign." It's true. Tsunade seems to have a soft spot for the choreographer, for one reason or another, and even leaves the room pretty often while he teaches. It's rare for her to trust someone like that.

Ino leaned her head back against the wooden wall behind her and Tenten, sighing dreamily, "He's so damn tall…and sexy."

Sakura snickered, "I bet if we steal your phone, your history's full of his videos."

Surprisingly, Ino's face turned a soft shade of pink, but she pointed angrily at her best friend, "Oh shut it, Forehead! Don't act like you don't check out Sasuke and Gaara all the time!" Sakura's face began to match her hair, but she flipped the model off rather than respond verbally.

A small smile tugged at my lips as the three women laughed.

This is nice.

We'll surely be grateful for this relaxation time since the next big group activity we have is starring in an episode of "Top Tier". It's a competitive celebrity game type show where teams compete in challenges that test their teamwork and friendship. Filming is supposed to start on Tuesday morning.

Before that, tomorrow I have that lunch date with Matsuri. I already told the others I'd be running an errand so they aren't surprised by not joining them, but only Tenten knows where I'm actually going.

Here's to hoping everything goes smoothly.