Love and Hate

At the bookstore Mark and I were so busy since foreign customers came in all together. It's fall season and visitors come here to see the cherry blossoms blooming plus the festivals we have to celebrate the days of bounty. People came in from different places and cities. I am hungry, I think Mark is too. But there are still a few customers. Now we're left with a couple, who are so sweet and kissing while I open the register and get the payment for the book they bought. Huh, it's about ah, sexual relationships. Hmm!!! Figures, I thought and smiled at the naughty couple. Mark seems smiling while he looked at me with a heated face. I smiled back and wondered what he wants now…

Mark came up to my side, and held my hand. He pointed a finger and played with his finger going round and round, tickling me. The couple is about to leave and when they are out of the store, Mark pulled me to his chest and kissed me as if he was so hungry, he wanted to eat me.

Yup, I was hungry too, but literally hungry that my stomach growled, and when Mark heard it, we both laughed.

Mark is what I have prayed for. I just wish he would stay with me forever. But that is definitely a wishful thinking. He told me about everything about him and where he went the past few weeks he was away on a mission. I felt his sadness and disappointment with people. He said God is a good and merciful creator that we are different from Him, who made us. He is so confused why we are totally bad unlike God who is holy, though he gets angry, he has his reasons and it's unquestionable. We humans are unpredictable, crazy and strange. But he also mentioned that even if we are different, we are sweet, loving, strong and compassionate. Not all of us are evil but kind and thoughtful, and I made his wrong belief and distrust of mortals change. Mark said that I opened his eyes to see the beauty of love and how being loved is wonderful and sensational. Well, what can I say, I am adorable and irresistable!, I thought proudly of myself. I was at the terrace overlooking the lake, did I tell you my room faces the enormous water shining like pearls when the sun's rays hit it's waves. I didn't know Mark is already at my back hugging me.

You are Belle!, Mark added kissing the back of my head. Whaa…, you heard that, my thoughts???, I shouted almost fainting in embarrassment. Then….the…oh, no! that means you know what I think even in the shower or wher…er, ahhhhh!!, this is so shameful uh…I said covering my face with my palms since I bet I'm red as a tomato now. Ha, ha! It's okay Belle, I understand, it's actually cute, all the inner struggles, confusions, desires you have for me….Mark now smiling teasingly while bringing me to his chest. Now we're face to face and he looks beautiful, sparkling like the sun while it's rays hit him. He looks like golden…ah!. Belle!!!, come with me!, you trust me right?, He asked while holding my waist by his hands. Yes, I do!, I replied confidently. Then close your eyes and hold my hands, we will fly up…Mark said and we're already moving slowly upwards. His wings seemed invisible. Huh, angels can do that, that's awesome.

Yaiks!!!, I ammmm, scared of heights, Mark, Maaaark….Belle shouted. I have you and I will catch you if you fall, he added while he held my shoulder close to him at the side and flew.

At first we flew slowly then faster and faster until I can no longer see where we're at and almost felt dizzy.

We're here!, Mark said pulling us down gently on top of a mountain. My God, Belle so amazed of the view, since it's almost sunset. The color of the sky is red orange and I can see everything from here. This is Mount Fuji, I bet you haven't visited this height yet!, Mark added feeling very proud of what he did. Yes, I haven't and oooooy, it's cccoooooold….Belle said grunting her teeth all of a sudden. Okay let's leave, the height and the cold temperature is low here, hug me, he added while hugging me tightly too. And in an instant, we're back home. It was the most amazing feeling, the thrill and power of being free. Wow! So this is how it feels to fly or be free….wonderful!!!, Can we go again, pleasssee…Belle pleading like a child. Okay we will but not now, soon. I want you to see my favourite place, next time. But now you need to rest, Belle, Good night, smooch!, Mark promised and kissed Belle lightly on the lips. Belle was dumb founded and felt incomplete. Mark, wait….Belle walking towards him and then hugged him tight. She looked at his face and touched it, then kissed his lips once more, now more deep and torrid. Belle…I don't want to lose control, not again because I respect and love you, I don't want….Mark confessing to Belle stopping him to speak by putting her four fingers on his lips. No, I want it to happen and I want you!!! , please Mark…Belle now pouting. You only feel this because I'm an angel and I can make you feel that ecstasy, that desire. It's my power, my scent, my aura or presence you feel. Since you're sensitive, that's how you will feel.

No!, I love you and I want you….Belle added stubbornly. Belle….Mark said while touching her face and comforting her with words lie, it's okay, it's just your feeling….

Stop it! I'm not a child anymore so don't treat me like one…if you don't want it, then…..Good night!!!

Belle added leaving Mark in the living room, almost bursting into tears. Haaay!!!, Mark what have you done now?!, he said to himself exhaling hard. She's a child, and I'm thousands of years older. Hmm! Well, I read that, age is just a number, so…Haaa!!! I don't know what to do. I need to make amends and apologize, Mark saying in his thoughts while walking to Belle's room. It took him 30 minutes to compose something nice to tell her, so she can forgive her. But what did I do!? Hmm!, Mark added standing in front of Belle's room. He wanted to knock but he thought she might be sleeping now, so he turned the knob on the right and since it seemed open, he went in.

Ahhh…Mark is surprised, Belle is on her bed but half naked, she is just wearing her shirt but on her panties and socks on. She seemed crying and hugging her big pillow. Her room is dark but with my x ray like eyes I can see Belle's body, her curves, her…..ahh breas…..ah, her, Oh, my God. I can't…

Mark thought moving his gaze to the window and resting his back on the closet near Belle's bed. He instead moved to pull the sheet to cover Belle and touched, smelled her hair. I want to kiss, cuddle and make love to you Belle, more than you could ever imagine. But I am not staying here for good, I don't want to hurt you, I love you it pains me so much to see you like this, Mark added now moving near Belle's bed, he leaned forward to kiss Belle on the forehead. He saw her face, so innocent and cute. Ahh!!!, my heart is melting to this human. I can't really do anything anymore. As if she has overpowered me and her charms captivated me. God damn me, no my Lord please don't but I think I'll be damned now cause I'm deeply in love with Belle.

I am really angry and embarrassed throwing myself to him. Why would he reject me? Ahhh!! He is making me crazy. And seeing him this beautiful only makes me madder inside. I desire for him to touch and kiss me, make love to me. Why can't he understand that?

While I walked to the bookstore to get some books to read for the weekend, I saw Mark with some groceries bumping into Kochiko. They laughed at each other and as if she invited him to her hotel room. And that is it, I'm so furious now. He by passed my needs and he welcomed my cousin's invitation with a smile. Hmp!!!! This is war.

Ojichan, Mama and Shita were already at the breakfast table, while Mark is serving the meal wearing an apron. He looks so…..cu…erh, stoppp, Belle. Good morning!, Mark said softly smiling like a baby.

Good morning!, I replied blankly. Ah!!!, Belle, what's up with you? How's the bookstore going?. Mama asked breaking the awkward silence. Ojichan and Shita were looking at me, waiting for an answer. It's doing well, we had many customers since cherry blossoms festivals coming, Belle said distastefully.

Oh, okay, hehe! Try Mark's omelette, it's so good, as if it's made with lo…, Shita said happily but I cut her short. Love!!, hmmm, I wonder if the person who cooked this really knows what love is? I added grumpily while preparing to taste his eggs ( I mean the omelette, not his eggs, ah f*...k, you know what I mean!)