Episode Fifty Five

Grief is the emotional suffering you feel when someone or something you love is taken away. While heart break can be such an intense experience that feels worse than physical pain. But when compare the two, the feeling might be different. But they are both overwhelming, especially when a certain young Prospector's heart is feeling overwhelmed by the two emotions.

   "I know that, but I always loose everyone. I lost both my birth parents, Li Jen and then my mother. And maybe my father and brother too, who knows." Kai voice had soften, and his face sadden making Qing Yuan sign and touched his shoulder.

   "You haven't lost everyone. You got Master Wang Feng-Huang back, and he will protect his senior brother of all cost. And I know for sure that Li Jie would fight to the death before he let either Fong Woo or Feng Gao lay a finger on Wang Zhang. And as for Li Jen, she is well and healthy. She and her lover are together, and they are expecting a baby." Kai eyes brighten when Qing Yuan mentioned Li Jen. At least she is happy and living her life, and it's nice to know that she is ok. When Qing Yuan saw that Kai wasn't going to say anything, he placed his left palm on his right risk. And Kai watched him with curiosity. "She told me to give you this when the time was right." Qing Yuan wrist started to glow white, before he grab the light into his palm and hold it out to Kai. It has now formed a miniature drogan, floating above Shui's outstretched palm.

   "What is that?" Kai gazed at the little drogan dancing in its swriling mist of white.

   "It's Li Jen's aura. She gave it to me and told me that I should give it to you, said that she doesn't want anything to do with the the cullivation world. And she said you will need it more than her. So when you do challenge Fong Woo, you will have her dragon spirit fighting along side you. She also sends her love and she hopes that you aren't upset with her after what she did. She also said that she knew that you were spec-"

   "I don't want it. What does she think, that her giving me her aura can make up for what she did to me? She wants nothing to do with the cullivation world, yet she wants me to indulge in it. She has no-"

   "Kai-" 

    "No! Let me finish!" He shouted at Qing Yuan, his nostrils flaring up angrily. "She has nothing to worry about. She is quite alright, safe and living normally with Lee Cheng. Can she bring my mother back? No, can she go back in time and stop all those people from dying? No, she can't!"

  "Kai, that is unfair of you to say. She can be at home and receive word that Fong Woo kill her parents. Their palace has been attack just because your sister was actually dumb enough to think that someone like Feng Gao would want to be with her." Qing Yuan said calmly, even though Kai is really getting on top of his nerves. But what is keeping him from not punching Kai out, or not putting a sleeping charm on him is that fact that maybe that how he can handle his grief. By being angry. But that still doesn't give him the right to blame everyone. His sister is the one at fault, even though he can't blame her that much. Anyone who knows Feng Gao, knows that he has a sweet mouth. And anything he say would make anyone believe him. But can Wang May be that stupid? People of the cullivation world and commoners doesn't really match, especially when it comes on to marriage.

    "So your back to blaming my sister. It was Feng Gao in the wrong, he used her because he wanted to get to me. So he is the one that caused the attack on the Drogan's palace. And what do you mean that Wang May is dumb for believing that someone like Feng Gao would like her? Is there something wrong with my sister?" He placed his hands on his hips, with a dangerously glare blazing in his eyes.

   "No, there is nothing wrong with her apart from her being shameless and rude. But I mean come on Kai, you must have notic-"

   "Are you saying Feng Gao is to good for my sister? And he only saw her as a pawn in getting what he wanted? Is everyone that is apart of the cullivation world thinks that people without skills and whatnot are just dirt underneath their shoes?!" He interrupted Qing Yuan.

  "Kai, I don't know what you want me say. But it was too good to be true that Feng Gao actually wanted to marry her. And May too was too bragging, and I bet that even if Gao would still have to worry because she is shameless. She came onto me and stripped in front of me, calming that she will look better with me with her heside standing alongside me. She said you weren't good enough to get a prince like me."

"So basically you are saying that my sister is not worthy of a decent life? Even though she was living a pretty fair one before meeting that bastard. And as for you, how can I believe anything you say at this point? You might just be toying with the  truth because you know that I know that Prospectors should not lie. That Feng Gao is a dog, and you are just proving to me that you might just be like him!" 

Qing Yuan glared at Kai, how could he think that him and Gao could be the same. How could Kai even think to utter something out of his mouth like that, from day one he has been nothing but honest to Kai. Not just because he is a Prospector, no. He generally cares about Kai, and most times he has to fight down his feelings for him to not stray away from his duty.

"Is that what you really think about me? That is an insult, Feng Gao and I are nothing alike. He is not even worthy to be called a Cultivator. He is like-"

   "Like what? A liar like you? You knew he was the one that wanted to kill me back when I was imposing as Li Jen, but you said nothing! You just stood there and let all those people died, you let my mother died." His voice dropped, and Qing Yuan could see the tears welling up in his eyes. The older Prospector hesitantly reached out to touch Kai's face, but before he could even dream of feeling the younger smooth silky skin against his fingertips, Kai slapped his hand away and glared at him. "You are always talking about loyalty to the people, and how you value your role as a Prospector. But you are nothing but a fraud. You are a prince who has gotten everything going his way, you don't know what it means to be in need of something. You don't know what loss feels like!" Kai poke Qing Yuan in the chest, before pushing him back a bit. Which made the prince angry again.

   "I am none of what you are accusing me of! It wasn't my fault that you didn't remember Feng Gao or anything that happened that night. And I wanted to hurt Feng Gao for hurting you, but I had to ignore all that rage when I saw you on the floor almost unconscious. Kai, what you don't understand is that I would break every moral that I have been taught just to ensure that you are well and alive. It's like I hadn't made myself clear when I kissed you a night ago. You made me feel things that I myself can't explain. Knowing that you are near, makes my heart beats rapidly and I want to do so many shameless things to you." A small blush creeps its way onto Kai's cheeks. "And knowing that two maniacs are out there who want to hurt you, makes me go into overdrive. I want to protect you as best as I can, because right now. I don't think I can live without you."

Kai smiled at Qing Yuan's words, but shook his head and a scowl replaced it. "I don't care about your words, you knew that Feng Gao was up to no good. Yet you kept it to yourself and let my sister look like a fool, and let all those people including my mother's death!"

Qing Yuan signs, wondering why Kai is giving him a hard time. "I am not the one who is stupid enough to believe that Feng Gao, the proud cocky son of a Mage General, would be interested in a mediocre shameless girl like Wang May. She should have had more sense than that. And for your information, when I found out that she was going to get married to Feng Gao. I told BOTH of your fathers, and they warned her. But no, she wants to live the good life. A fantasy life that she was just a pawn in. It's not my fault that she wanted to be included in a status that she doesn't belong in!"

Kai scoffed at Qing Yuan, irritation, anger and annoyance were the three expressions that the young prince could see on Kai's face.

   "So, my sister isn't worthy of being in this so-called status. But, what about me?"

    "What about you?"

    "If my sister is not good enough to be in the high class status this messed up situation is divided into, then why do you want me? How come I am different? What is so special about me?!"

  "You-"

   "You know what, I don't want to hear!" Looking at Qing Yuan with pure anger and distaste, Kai spun on his heels and walked out into the pouring rain.

Qing Yuan's heart dropped, still staring at the spot where Kai was standing just a second ago. 

  "You are different…. because you are the one."

Kai slid down the wall, as the rain drenched him. Tears streaming down his face, and his sobs being drowned out by the heavy showers of rain. All of what happened came flashing back in his head, especially the look he saw in his mother's eyes when Fong Woo ripped out her heart. Kai cried even harder as he grip onto his clothes where his chest is. 

Qing Yuan, unnoticed by Kai, watched as the younger cried out his pain. His own heart shattering from the pain of Kai suffering. Qing Yuan wasn't a heartless person, despite what others may think about him. He actually cares for people, and it's not just because he is a Prospector. He only closed himself off, from years ago after his mother died. So he do know what Kai is feeling, and he wants to go and comfort Kai. But he knows that he should give Kai a bit of space to grieve, because despite the fact of all things. Kai did just lose his mother, and he is still young and also new to the cultivation world.So all he can do right now is just watch as Kai cries his pain away, getting soaked by the weather that matches his mood.

'Damn you Fong Woo, you and Feng Gao better watch out. Nobody messes with whatever is mine and thinks that they can get away with it.' Qing Yuan hands form into fists, his knuckles turning white from how tight he is squeezing them.

    Kai doesn't know how long he has been crying for, but he does know that the rain has subsided to just drizzling. He felt his eyes getting heavy and a pounding headache coming on. He is still upset with Qing Yuan, and doesn't wish to see his face. So with a broken and grieving heart, he doesn't move from where he is. Only tilting his head a little to the side, before letting sleep take a hold of him.