New Start 3

At the back of the burger restaurant. Vina is jealous. She doesn't want Gin to have anybody but her and only her. "I will have you, Gin Lawrence, that pretty, innocent nobody can't have you. If I can't have you, then nobody will", Vina reiterated with eyes all red from anger and greed.

Yes it was a night to remember. Gin and I just felt we have the world only for us. We are like teenagers roaming around the streets of Paris, enjoying the view, the lights and the people. Ah! I have never had so much fun since I….since Jodie and I were together. We were friends since we were like five years old. My god! She is a stubborn, annoying brat. But the cutest, sweetest and warmest friend I ever had. And I miss her so much, as if I lost half of my heart, my life losing her. It still hurts when I think about her. But now, as if she came back, in the form of this handsome guy, Gin. She is like Gin. The color of the eyes, the build, the soft, warm skin to touch, the lips when he kissed me and….!??? Hmph! Jodie, why are you doing this to me?, even in death you annoy, tease and keep me waiting, wanting, desiring, for you! Huh!, I breathed since I can't do anything but sigh regarding my past issues on Jodie.

Hey! What are you thinking about? Gin asked with a worried look while seated in one of the benches overlooking the Eifel Tower with me. Oh, sorry, you're still there, he he! Kidding!. I just miss Jodie, actually, I miss her so much! And whatever I do, I can't erase her memory, especially when….I sort of see her in you!. Hah! Ah!, Oh!...I am Gin, because I am cute, maybe and I look like her…Alex, come here!, he said asking me to come closer to him. I stood up and walked slowly to Gin, he held my shoulders and hugged me tight. So tight, I hugged him back, forgetting that I just met him a couple of months ago. I feel I am safe with him, like…I am falling in love again, but as if this is what I have been waiting for, ever since I can remember, with Jodie. I like you Alex, and I think I am…fa….Gin whispering in my ear. I stopped him from speaking and kissed him with the warmest kiss I would give to Jodie. Gin kissed me back, now, harder, in the open air and feeling the cool breeze since Christmas is just three months away. And I love this weather in Paris every time I visit during cold seasons.

Mm!, Ah, Huh!, ahhhh, Gin and I kissed longer than I can ever wish for. He is now playing his tongue around my mouth, pleading, asking for me to open up so his tongue can come in and swallow me. I permitted him to come in.

There's not a lot of people at this time of night since I think it's already 11 o'clock in the evening. Gin still continued kissing me like he is so thirsty, wanting, needing me that I came to my right senses when he is about to slide his hand inside my top, to touch my breast…Hhuh! Hah! Ha!... waaait.. stop, G..i…n! I, think this is not the proper place for this!, I said gasping for air and all flushed from his kisses. I can't remember the time I kissed someone torrid and so delicious that, his taste is so sweet and robust at the same time. I can't get enough of him.

Hhuh! Huh!, sorry, Alex, I got carried away, I missed yo….ah, I really, really, like you, so much that I can't stop thinking about you, too, Gin said looking at me intensely, as if he still wants to kiss me again. But I stopped him at once, my hand is still on my mouth. Let's go back to the hotel, and let's not get ahead of ourselves. Gin, you know what I'm going through. I haven't forgotten about Jodie and now Edmund. I don't want you to be my pain absorber and I'm not like that. I will never do that to you, you're a good person Gin. I like you too, a lot. Give me some time to sort things out and I will tell you if I'm ready to have a serious relationship. Okay?, please, Gin?, I asked him with my cutest grin.

Okay, okay! How can I say no to that, cute face of yours, I want to eat you! Roaarh!, he added growling like a lion as if trying to eat act on my face. Ha! Ha!, I laughed at his crazy, funny antics.

At the hotel, in my room. I can't stop thinking about Gin, the kiss and his touch, keeps on replaying inside my mind. My thought is going back to the time he kissed me in the park. And I can't forget about it because it's bad but because it was so beautiful. Now how can I sleep, darn!. Alex added still can't sleep because of that magical kiss with Gin. Gin on the hand is sleeping alright. Dreaming about the kiss he had with Alex. As if he doesn't want to let go of her and continued undressing her in his thoughts, when…Ah, huh! Huh! Huh!, waking up. Haaaaa! Alex, I can't stop thinking about you when I'm awake. Now, even in my subconscious mind you're there to taunt me. Haaah! You're so beautiful Alex. The first time I saw you when we were little, I thought I love you just a friend. But my admiration turned to love and even lust, because I really wanted you so bad. And that night when you gave yourself to me, was the happiest time of my entire life. The photo shoot in Boracay was just a lee way I wanted to have just to see you for one last time. But I still can't forget your face, you, your beauty and grace. Your smart, sweet and sexy way on handling things, issues and heart aches. Malibu was the memorable place to do what I needed to do and dared to kiss you. It was my first time to kiss a girl, and I was glad it was you. You were my first and wished to be my last, too, that time. I already fell in love with you then, at ten. The kiss which you thought was just a friendly game, was the gift I held on to for forever. It became my driving force to reach for my dreams and be famous, rich, so I can get to you. My family and my ancestors are from Syria. And we didn't really have much then. But now, I am one of the most powerful man, transman in the world, especially in Asia, U.S. and Europe, that I can give you everything you want. I can even buy you your own kingdom, my queen Alexa. But I wasn't able to sleep for days when that kiss happened. I can't even look at you straight in the eye because I was embarrassed, maybe, shy, yet I still wanted to kiss you so bad, that I always play around and pretend I was just joking around when I accidentally kiss you.

Ha ha!, was I a tease and an annoying little brat, that you always threw stuff or shouted at me, because I snatch a smack especially when there are boys trying to talk to you or be friends with you. How I wished so hard for the gods to tell me what to do. I love you and how can I tell you when you are my best friend in the world. I don't want to lose you and scram away because of my feelings toward you. Losing you is like losing part of me, my heart. Breathing is just so hard to do without you for you are my air, my love, my life. When it finally came, the day I said I love you, was the time that I lost you too because of the accident in California. That was your birth month. Oh, Alex, my Alex, my love, my baby!. How can I possibly tell you, that I am Jodie. I am the love of your life and I am here. Ahhhhhh! I shouted inside my room at 2 a.m., since I couldn't take the pain, the longing, the sadness, anymore. How long will I have to suffer? How long will I have to endure this pain of being Gin?.

I was so busy and a month passed just finishing my articles about Paris. I really didn't have time to think, even about what happened between Gin and I. I wonder what he is doing now? I haven't seen him for weeks. Hmm!, I thought and out of the blue I dialed his number. Rrrringgg! Rrrrringgg! No answer. I dialed again. Rrrrngg! Rrrnnggg!, He….llo!, a girl's voice, answering the cellphone. Hi! I'd like to speak with Gin please!, my voice almost cracking when I asked for Gin. Oh! Hmm!, he's still sleeping. I can give him the message, who are you again?, the girl asked starting to get irritated. Oh!, that's okay. I…I'll just talk to him some other time, I think this isn't the right time to talk, right! Thank you, good da…I said about to hang up when the girl on the other line spoke. Oh, it's you, ah! Alex, right!. This is Vina, the one you met at the burger joint, remember me?.