The Calm before the Storm

It was on that fateful day in early April. The spring break of my first year has come to close, thus marking the beginning of my second year of high school. I remembered as those thoughts manifest from within my mind, unwanted, heavy feeling of bother began to overtake my very soul.

School has never been a subject of interest for me. Rather, I guess I would describe as 'disdainful'- no… that's a bit of a stretch. It's more like 'discouraging' or 'disappointing'.

I have never had anyone that I can truly call a friend. I guess I would be described as a loner. Nobody knows who I am and nobody would ever put in the effort to do so. It not something I take pride in, no… during the past years I have desperately wanted to break away from these shackles, but I can't…

I have lost my ability to trust another human being. It is a curse that has rendered me unable to look at another without harboring the feeling of doubt from within.

Thus, my ideology would also not allow me indulge myself within any type of facade just for the sake of quelling this feeling of desperation I held.

"Ah!" Still walking with my bike in my hands, I slowly raised my gaze up to look at the source of the voice. A slight turmoil began to boil within the depth of my heart for a fragment of a second before I quelled it and composed myself.

"Hirano, it's been a while!" she waved at me while forcing a smile that I can only described as out of place.

"Do you know him?" Another girl appeared behind her, who I assumed to be friend, quietly asked.

"Oh…" I could see her stopping in the middle of her words for a moment, "Yeah, He was an old classmate in middle."

"Yeah, it's been a while, Yuki-san." I nodded to return the gesture and even added honorific to sound a but more distant. I was still quite stiff due to the unexpected encounter. Well, rather it was an encounter I did not wish to have as I could still sense a remnant of my pathetic past self within this individual in front of me.

It's not any type of dark or tragic past that one unable to look back at because it was traumatizing, no, it was the type of dark and tragic past that pissed me off when ever I remembered it.

The girl in front of me was Yuki Shiori. She used to be someone in my circle during middle school. Let's just say I had a slight interest in her, which later would develop into one-sided fascination. Some incident occurred involving a couple more people. As a result, I became an outcast. But, that's story for another time.

"Well then, if that is all, I'll be going now." After staring at each other a few moments, I took the initiative to leave. I had no interest in prolonging this meeting any further.

"W-wait!" Yuki suddenly called out as I was about to pedal away. I stopped and turn to look at her to show that I was listening. "Do you want to walk to school together with us? It's been a really long time since we have talked," she asked.

"No, I'm fine," I answered concisely. I was thinking of adding a extra empty words like 'I don't to bother you two,' but I decided against it and just make it clear to her I'm simply not interested.

"I see. Well, that's too bad." She gave an awkward chuckle.

"…" I was thinking of force out a closing remark, something like 'See you around,' or 'maybe next time,' but nothing came out. Instead, I wordlessly nodded before stepping on the pedal.

—-

"How annoying." After seeing that I have gained some distance, I couldn't help but let out those words I have been holding in.

That girl, Yuki Shiori, by the way she was acting, it was clear that she had no intention of associating with me, yet she still forced herself to do so?

From what I've known, she was quite popular among the first years and second years during the year before. Everyone recognized her as someone who was friendly and can get along with anyone.

The only reason I could think of that may justify her action is that she don't want me to hinder this fact. I may be the one of the few individual that might have a sort of negative feelings towards her. She may wants to prevent me from spreading unnecessary rumors about her or something like that.

Or we can just take it down to the basics and say that humans, as social creatures, do not want to be hated by others.

But whatever her motives are, I do not have any intentions of associating with her. She was a totally different person from middle school. Compare to that version of herself, this was someone who's identity I have no knowledge of . It could've been that she changed, but it is undeniable that she is putting a heavy false front to satisfy the people around her.

—-

"Class 2-3…" I mentally took note on the board for my assigned class and made my way towards it.

As soon as I reached my destination, I open the classroom's back door and stepped in. As I peaked inside I could see a few students turning their gaze towards me before uninterestingly going back to whatever they were doing.

I could see quite a few unpleasant faces, namely Yuki Shiori and her clique who made themselves comfortable right in the middle of the class.

As I scan the group, I saw Yuki Shiori staring at me in an odd way. This made me question her intention. But, I naturally couldn't understand it nor do I want to jump to any conclusion. I do know, however, that I was certainly feeling quite uncomfortable. So, I did the simple thing of brushing it off and ignoring her.

I silently find my assigned seat, right in the back corner, stationed near the back door of the classroom, and sat down.

Slowly, the rest of the class arrived. I let my gaze wander around, noticing the connections between others and connections being formed between strangers. Being overwhelmed by such a sight, the feeling of alienation began to dug at my very heart once again.

Being surround by such vibrant atmosphere, I had the sudden urge to join in the act, yet I knew deep down if I were to, I would only do so in a not so genuine manner. Immersing myself in a false construct of myself would only bring me nothing but unnecessary regrets and pain.

As I was deeply in thought, the homeroom teacher walked in and the class quietly settled down.

"Good morning class, I'm glad to be joining you again this year."

"Before we begin our orientation, I would like to introduce some transfer students who would be joining us this year," I remembered the teacher saying.

"Come on in."

It was then the 3 students, two of which was female and other one was a male, walked into the class and stood next to the teacher as he began to write their names on the board.

"Mizuno Kaori"

"Ikehara Rin"

"Kamei Ryuuzaki"

"They all transferred here from Tokyo. So, be sure take care of them now."

"Pleased to meet you all," the three transfer students collectively bowed as if they had rehearsed it many times over.

"Ah! We looks like we manage to get the timing right!" It was then, the girl, Mizuno Kaori, suddenly blurted out.

…Or maybe they did rehearsed it.

"Kaori!" The boy next to them, hearing her slight outburst, called out to at her in a supposed "hushed" tone that everyone certainly did not hear.

Mizuno Kaori, realizing what she did, covered her mouth in embarrassment.

I heard the class began to giggle at their comical acts.

I noticed that the girl in between them, Ikehara Rin, was trying to hide her face in embarrassment. For a moment there I almost sympathize with her due to the second-hand embarrassment I am feeling right now.

"Well, anyhow, let's move to your assigned seats, you three."

I hurriedly checked around to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, and sure enough, I realized that the seat in front of mine, the seat positioned diagonally from mine, and the seat next to mine was not occupied by anyone.

"Mizuno, Ikehara, Kamei, your assigned seat is at the back corner right there. Join Hirano, he looks lonely over there," the teacher casually joked. Or so I hoped. Wait, did he figured me out? No he was just joking around, and definitely not aware of my unfortunate circumstance. I overthinking this.

Hurriedly, the new students walked to their seats. They surrounded me like a pack of wolves surrounding a tiny apple on the ground. But, theoretically, wolves wouldn't do that, because why the hell would they give damn about a single apple on the ground. They're carnivores, they would rather hunt for meat instead. My apologies, that was a terrible analogy, but what I was trying to say is that these pressure that are overwhelming me right now is just another part of my delusion.

But, no, seriously, it really felt terrifying being surrounded like this.

"…Hey!" It was then I felt a touch at my shoulder and finally awoken from my thoughts. I turned towards the source of the voice and found one of the transfer student looking at me. From the way she looks, it seems she have been attempting to catch my attention for a while.

"Oh, sorry, I was lost in thought for a second," I said.

This girl should be Mizuno Kaori, I believe.

"I see," her face lit up with a smile that surprisingly didn't feel forced at all. Or maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me again. What's so interesting for her to smile anyways?

"What's your full name, Hirano-kun?"

'The overly-cheerful prying type or maybe the overly-friendly type that wishes to gets along with anyone,' my instinctual habit immediately labeled the character she is trying to play as.

"Hirano, Hirano Shiki," I answered, sounding a bit uninterested. This is the type of group I wouldn't want to associate myself with. The typical outgoing popular high school clique is what I assume they are roleplaying as. Such common and obvious superficiality is something I extremely detested.

"I'm Kamei Ryuuzaki," the guy in front of me introduced himself.

"Ikehara Rin," the girl sitting diagonally from my seat said, looking at me with the corner of her eyes.

To that, I merely nodded. Not asking a single question. Not prying further to get to know them. I just silently turn my gaze back onto the teacher with an indifferent look on my face.

In my peripheral vision, I could see them still having their gaze on me, holding a slightly surprised or intrigued expression, I couldn't tell.

They held this expression for a moment before he slowly morphed into a light smile. Then, they silently turn their attention back towards the front

'Weird,' I thought.

"I see, I see." I heard Mizuno Kaori muttered, with what sounded like she was smiling, in a quiet tone. And, with no further thoughts, I decided to dismiss trying to understand the meaning behind those words.

Little did I know, such irrelevant tiny detail was merely the calm before the storm of my chaotic youth.