Ascendancy

Power and strength were something you need, it was necessary, and it was crucial. Over the course of two weeks, after Nox's appearance, you've trained in and out. From extra exercising in your free time to professor Silas' training at noon.

Even after that day, Nox has managed to slip from your grasp, making her appearance from time to time, without warning, and the most your friends could do was adapt to the situation. Knowing that there were two of you inside a single body, constantly in a battle for ascendancy.

"Again!" Dorian said as you tried to hit him with your spear, but he always manages to block it and evade before you could touch him.

And with one swift movement from him, your spear went flying from your grasp and landed a few feet away, "Gosh, cut me some slack," you panted.

You've been asking Dorian to spar with you every now and then, ever since he caught you breaking into the armory to borrow training gear. He's also offered to help you get stronger.

"You told me not to go easy on you," he teased, then going towards where the spear landed and picking it up, giving it back to you. You mumbled a short reply of thanks. "But I'm actually quite impressed with your improvement." he compliments.

You took a seat on a bench and took a sip of some water, "Well that's the point then isn't it?" you replied.

"Well, I've noticed you've been acting differently these past weeks like you're a completely different person," Dorian admitted worriedly, "I can't help but think that since this is something you've asked of me, then I'd better do good at it."

He looked down at his hands, but a halfhearted smile masked the emotions he tried to hide. You playfully slapped his arm, "What's with that? Aren't you happy that I'm not clumsy anymore?" you teased, nudging him with your shoulder and laughing.

"Even I can't imagine how far I've come like it was only a month ago that I was this girl who couldn't even walk the corridor without tripping on my own two feet," you sighed, reminiscing how you never would've imagined you'd be in that moment.

He took your hand which surprised you, making you look at him, "I'm just glad to be of importance to you that's all," he said straightly. He's one of the people you couldn't tell about yourself because remembering his confession to you, you couldn't help but be afraid of what he'll think if he finds out.

"And I'm truly grateful for you," you rested your head on his arm, feeling the calm you haven't felt in weeks. "How about another round?" you challenged.

He immediately stood up, pulling you with him, "Shall we then?" he said, accepting your challenge. And once again, you took to the field, but to you, it was more than just training or practice, behind it you're still trying to prove that you can be the last one standing.

After your sparring match, you're now covered in dirt and grime. You and Dorian made your way back to the dorms, laughing and joking along the way when you saw Caelum watching the both of you. His expression as always was devoid of emotion, but his eyes said it all.

"Dorian, you go ahead. Thanks again for today," you bid Dorian farewell and ran towards Caelum who was already walking away. "Wait!" you ran to him.

When you both reached the back gardens, he stopped, almost making you bump into his back. He turned to you, with an unfamiliar expression, like frustration mixed with confusion, before he sighed, turning back to his expressionless face.

"Where have you been?" he asked coldly.

You hesitated, somehow there was still this gap between him and Dorian--a tension that was still evident whenever they were together in a single room.

"I was only practicing my spear skills for P.P.E. We're having a duel match next week, and I don't want to make a fool of myself," it wasn't exactly a lie. You did have a practice match, but that wasn't the only reason you were training.

He was unfazed, "Is that right? Then why didn't you ask Kieran then since he too uses a spear," he suggested, clearly implying something else, 'It's better to be Kieran than Dorian,' is what you felt it implied, you thought.

"I wanted to try to go against a different weapon if that made any sense, and besides, Kieran's been busy these days," you excused. You felt guilty somehow like you were caught red-handed. But you didn't know why, or maybe it was because of Caelum's piercing gaze that looked down on you, making you squirm in discomfort.

He only nodded, but his lack of reply tells you that he's still not convinced, "Have fun with him then," he said cooly, turning away but you grabbed his arm, stopping him.

You didn't know why you did it, your hands just shot out, "Are you angry?" you asked, unsure. "Why are you acting this way?" you asked, finally having the courage to look straight into him.

He only looked away, but he didn't take his arm from your grip, "I'm not," he answered curtly.

"Then why won't you look at me?!" you were angry, you were disappointed because deep inside you, you wanted him to feel something. He saw you with the person he dislikes, laughing and having fun together. It was selfish indeed, but you wanted him to feel something. No matter how small of a spark.

He breathed a sigh, before turning toward you, taking one step at a time, his gaze suggested that of a predator, closing in on its prey, and you were a lamb being stared down by the lion. You ignited a fire.

You backed away until your back touched one of the archways of the garden, he trapped you there with his arms, "Every time I look at you, I'm conflicted. One moment you're you, and the next, you're 'her'," he began, his hot breath touching your cheek, it smelled like mint and coffee, "Is it fun to toy with my feelings?" he asked, with a pained expression.

He took a lock of your hair between his fingers, playing with it before placing it on his lips, he smelled it, "You're confusing me," he admitted, his voice a whisper. You were so close that your faces were merely inches apart.

"You make me feel these emotions, implying some sort of unspoken affection," he grumbled, looking down straight into you, making you gasp for air, "Making me hold on to something and then letting me down, to be with that bastard," he grunted roughly.

He hit his fist on the wall beside your head, making you flinch. He lowered his head, "What do you want from me?" he asked lastly, your lips a mere inch away.

Unable to break away from him, you don't want to, and only one word passed your lips, "You," one word that brought all the walls crumbling down around you, and his lips were on yours.

It was slow at first but turned hungry. He cupped one side of your face, turning it at an angle for better access. You grabbed his hair, deepening the kiss, and making him groan into your mouth. His hand roamed, first at your back then your side, traveling up and down your side, bringing a shot of pleasure that went down your spine, making you shiver.

His kisses were aggressive, possessive, and he held onto you tightly, as if afraid that if he let go, you'll disappear. You broke free to gasp for air, but he bit your lips before covering them with his once more, not giving you a chance. It felt like a burst of long-kept feelings, unable to be contained longer.

You were left gasping for air as soon as your lips parted, and he kissed you a couple more times before resting his forehead on yours, "That was a first," you gasped in a whisper, your eyes hazy from the kiss, as it stared at his amethyst ones.

"I should be," was his answer, cupping your face, and leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose, "Don't spar with him from now on, instead do it with Kieran," he added, making you push him slightly to read his face, "Would that be too much to ask?" he said lastly.

It took you a moment before you pushed him off you, incredulously you stared at him, "Was that not enough to prove to you my feelings for you?" you asked, "Dorian is just a friend, and before you and Kieran," you hesitated, "He was my knight," you said lowly, immediately regretting it.

Caelum scoffed and shook his head, "It's not whether or not I don't trust you, Emilia, it's 'her' that I don't trust," he said before he turned around and left. This time truly leaving you alone.

You sighed, "Things are getting so complicated," you mumbled to yourself, "Makes me think...it was better when I didn't have any magic," you admitted before going back to your dorm room.

After that day, Caelum has been avoiding you, and Dorian has been as clueless as ever, hovering around you and asking you when your next training will be, "Actually Dorian, I'll be putting off training for a while," you explained, "Exams are just around the corner, I'll like to study for it in advanced," you added, reassuring him.

He nodded, "I suppose so," he grinned at you and gave you a slight nudge, "But in case you get bored of studying, just look for me," he said before finally leaving you.

You sighed, "Is this the trouble you're telling me about?" you mumbled to yourself, indicating the prophecy about your two suitors.

"You've been sighing a lot," a voice spoke from behind you making you turn in surprise, it was Kieran. "You and Caelum are avoiding each other, why?" he asked straightforwardly.

You groaned, "Is it that obvious?" you asked, it was more yourself than Kieran, "He's being difficult," you grunted, "I mean, I already did as he asked, but he's still ignoring me," you blurted, confirming Kieran's hunch.

"Come here," he ushered you to an alcove, "I've known him since we were children, babies basically," he said, "and he's always been straightforward and he could care less," he shrugged as if it were a virtue to be expected from him, "But when it comes to you, all he ever did was care."

"Has he told you anything?" you asked hesitantly. Unsure if Caelum was the type of person who tells his best friend everything.

Kieran only shrugged, "He didn't have to, and based on the looks of things, there's only one reason you're acting that way," he nodded his head, as if so sure of himself, "You rejected him," he blurted out making you choke.

"What?!" you shook your head frustrated, "How did you even come up with that, and so confidently too." you rolled your eyes, pushing past him and towards your next class, leaving him confused.

After classes, you changed into your training gear, but instead of going to the fields to train, you kept walking. Past the field, and straight into the woods, where no one would see you.

After walking further away from the academy, you found yourself in a small clearing, perfect for practicing, plus it was quiet and empty.

All your practice with professor Silas has been paying off because you've learned to summon the Shadow soldiers without having all your energy sucked out.

You remember him saying, "You need a conduit, you need some source that will able you to channel your powers without sucking your energy," and so you did.

It was a bit unorthodox and slightly taboo, however, since all magic is somewhat connected to all the aether of the realm, you gathered it around you, creating a concentrated convergence of aether energy.

"Come forth," you commanded and one by one the Shadows materialized themselves, standing in attention, waiting for your orders. Ever since you've learned of this method, it was easier to control them, and slowly a form of connection has started to solidify between you.

"Come at me, and don't go easy," you motioned for them and one by one they attacked you. You've realized after that introductory class in P.P.E that you have a certain knack for handling a spear.

Your movements were still a bit hard and rigid, but anyone who sees you now would think twice before assuming that the current you and the Emilia two months ago are the same person.

Your balance has improved, your movements fast and swift, although a lot of unnecessary movement, you've still managed to block and evade each attack the Shadows give.

They swung at your head, making you duck before their sharp talons cut your head off. You rolled away just as another one struck the ground where you were just a few seconds ago. "Enough!" and they immediately halted their attacks.

You panted, catching your breath, "Well that was--pretty--exhausting," you gasped. You stood up slowly, using the spear as a support as you catch up with your breath, "Reditum," you commanded and the Shadows dissipated, returning to your shadow.

You've realized that two months ago, you never would've imagined being able to do even a fourth of what you could. In light of all that has happened to you in the past, you can't help but be conflicted.

Conflicted that despite your abilities' dark nature, you realized how much you truly are capable. But it makes you question if the reason behind your capabilities is whether or not this power you have, or if you've always been capable, just afraid to try.

And at that moment for the first time in weeks, Nox never came out.