My Butterfly [2]

After that, she still gave me the news. she always apologized constantly, I wanted to ignored her, but I couldn't because I still loved her.

A few months later, she told me that their relationship was not good, she said that "my bestfriend" was rude her, always asking about his needs. After she vented about it, she disappeared and she comes back with the same rant, and the cycle goes on.

After a few years she disappeared, she suddenly came to give me news. She told me that their relationship was still ongoing and it was toxic relationship, very, very toxic. She really wanted to meet me, she wanted to tell me everything.

When we met, she told stories accompanied by tears from beginning to the end, and not forgetting she kept apologizing to me.

After a long conversation, she suddenly said' "You want to promise?"

"What kind of promise?", I said

She said, "I want to promise that one day I will definitely be yours, I want to try to fix this first. I don't know when this will be over, but I will really come back to you when all this is over. You have to promise that you have to able to take care of your feelings for me until I come to you."

And my-stupid-self replied, "Sure, we promise". While intertwining our little fingers. Then we go home and on the way she hugged me tightly while crying.

After that promise, she really disappeared, disappeared without a trace and I don't have access to her new contact. At that time, I could only hope that she could solve all the problems. And here, I have to be able to keep my feelings for her, actually from the start I was close to her, I always kept my feelings for her.

I really don't approach other girls. I'm just getting acquainted, nothing more, and there are some girls who try to approach me, but I keep my distance from them because I limit myself because of that promise.

After a long time I didn't hear from her, this year I got news. Yes, I got the news that she is getting married soon. She's not married to "my bestfriend" but to someone else, but yaa it still hurts.

I heard the news, I cried, really cried.

So, why did I promise to keep my feelings all these years?

Why did I trust her all these years?

What do I feel that I keep until now?

What's all for now? What does it all mean for now?

I've been trying to keep it up, I've limited myself to other, and now what's all that for?

I don't understand, why God give a joke like this, does He think this is fun? I don't know about it, but one thing is fore sure, that joke is the worst joke I've ever gotten until this writing was made.