2. The past

22 years later.

Shirleen Mokeira repeated the same thing she did yesterday and the day before that and so on. Her life was neither exciting nor filled with sunshine and roses. No her life was filled with heartache, hate and fantasies of very elaborate revenge scenarios. All these emotions were made possible because of the time she had to herself in the past fifteen years. The person responsible for her mother's death had imprisoned her in an extremely comfortable prison. A mansion in South Africa with guards at every corner making sure she stayed within the premises. Yes she did not lack for anything all she lacked was her freedom. She had nowhere to escape to and nowhere to run, no one would even remember her. South Africa was her exile, her prison, whereas Kenya was her home but even if that were so she could not remember how home looked like. The only memories that survived her transition from childhood to adulthood were her mother's smiling face, her singing voice, her gentle touch, her father's betrayal and finally her mother's murder. All she could do was wait for a chance, all she needed was a chance and she will take it. She already had a plan, the first thing she planned to do after being given that chance was ask her father, Lawrence Sabaya, why he never looked for her or seek justice for the death of her mother. She continued walking on the stone path in the middle of the well-maintained garden. A female bodyguard was following behind her in silence. She had tried to form friendships with the bodyguards and even begin small talks now and again, but she realised that ploy was not working. They never engaged her in small talk or any kind of talk for that matter. They were under strict instructions not to do it by her jailer. Her efforts did not matter anyway because every month the bodyguards all around the mansion were changed never to be seen or heard from again. This made it even harder for her to escape. The house had surveillance cameras installed and everything was state of the art and there were no telephones anywhere. Everything within the compound was meant to keep her in and all unwanted visitors out.

Shirleen stopped to look at the white rose flowers in bloom and her mind drifted to the last day she spent with her parents. It had been her seventh birthday and her father had taken her and her mother to an amusement park. That day it had not mattered to her that her father never seemed to be home and he only came to visit them periodically. It had not mattered that sometimes her mother will wait up for her father to come visit them at the dead of the night because he could not afford to be seen with them in the middle of the day. It had not mattered that she was the child of a mistress, she had been happy to have her parents by her side on that day. Her father was smiling with pride like he always did whenever he saw her and to her that was enough. She played, she ate, she laughed and as late afternoon approached, they were all tired, mostly her father. They made their way to a table and sat. Her father had looked at her mother in panic and stood abruptly, "Shirley I think I have misplaced our daughter," he said looking around frantically. Shirley had looked at him for a second then burst out laughing and Shirleen who had been perched on her father's shoulders the whole time had joined her mother. Lawrence had of course joined in their mirth when he realised his error. Lawrence had received a call and Shirleen had seen her mother's face slowly change from happiness to sad and wistful. Lawrence had looked at Shirley with tenderness and raised his hand to caress her face softly. He whispered, "I am sorry." But those words did not wipe the sadness in Shirley's eyes. Shirley had nodded like she understood but now that Shirleen thought about it her mother had never understood instead she had forced herself to understand. Lawrence had turned to look at his daughter and reached down to kiss her softly on the forehead. He had then promised to visit her later that evening so they could share her birthday cake. That evening she helped her mother cook dancing to the music that drifted around the house but Lawrence never came. They both ate in silence and with her mother by her side she cut her cake. Shirley's smile though had disappeared for the rest of the evening and what remained was a forced version of it. Shirley tucked her in bed and went back to the living room to wait for her father who never came. Instead Shirleen watched from the shadows as her mother started drinking and crying something Shirleen was already used to seeing. She left her mother to her sadness and went back to bed praying to God that her father will come home. Later that night she woke up to the shattering of glass and a storm raging outside her window. Like any other scared child she made her way to her mother's bedroom. She pushed the door open and, in the dark, saw a man standing next to the bed over her mother dressed in black. A bottle of wine was placed on the bedside table and a glass lay on the floor shattered. The red wine splattered on the floor. Shirley lay sprawled on the bed in her black silk night dress. Her eyes wide open but unseeing. She was already dead. The man turned to look at the girl who was staring at the bed in shock. He moved towards her slowly so not to spook her. "One day I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and understand that for the rich love is not a group affair," he said. With that he reached for her a cloth in hand. He placed it on her face and as she drifted into unconsciousness, she heard the clicking of heels on the marble floor. For a minute there she caught sight of black heels before darkness overtook her.

When she woke up she was in her bed and the police were in her house, her mother was dead and her father never came to claim her or to her mother's burial. The death of Shirley Mokeira was ruled a suicide as sleeping pills were found on the bed with some of them missing. No further investigation was done and that was the end of her life. After the burial, a woman had come and taken Shirleen away to South Africa claiming Lawrence will come visit her in time. Lawrence never came and with time she started putting together the pieces of her mother's murder. She was sure Lawrence's wife Angela had been involved in the murder and for some reason her father decided to protect her. That was the reason why she had decided to hate them both and embraced the bitterness. Someone once said what does not kill you makes you stronger. They had taken her mother's life and so they were equally guilty. But even that did not stop that treacherous thing called hope from clouding her heart and mind, hope that her father was innocent in all that had transpired. Shirleen pulled herself from the memory. "Daddy," she whispered. Underneath her hate and bitterness her heart was bleeding. "Please tell me you were not involved." But no matter how much she thought there were still doubts hammering her from all sides. And every time it did something in her broke. She really didn't know how long it will take before she finally really broke.