Feeling of fear

"Maybe you shouldn't be so sure of yourself."

She bent her back to touch her stomach and chest with his naked body for the first time in her life. She approached a man to this degree. She was trying to be strong and be able to appoint herself as her husband, but she was unable to actually complete what she started.

Her strong and sharp looks changed to weakness, humiliation, and hesitation. Her eyes were filled with these looks, and he noticed that to pull her hands towards him. It was his chance at the time of her weakness, and fate wanted the magic to turn against the magician. To pull it up with his hand.

"What do you want to do? Didn't I tell you that if I wanted to, I would do it for you. Why did you ruin everything?"

But despite the strength of the stance and his arms surrounding her body, the first one that was embracing her tender thigh, and the other whose fingers manipulated the lips of the woman in his arms, Lilia's mind was still working despite the caution, fear and trembling that afflicted her body without her being able to control it.

"But as your husband, I haven't even had a single kiss. Is that too much? Don't a couple get a kiss on their wedding day? I haven't even had anything from you."

Lilia, as usual, will try to manipulate his mind

"But you spoiled what I wanted to do, and that left not an iota of it in my heart, not even in my body."

Lilia will try to keep him away from her, one way or another, because she categorically refuses to be touched by anyone, even if it is her husband.

"Now that you have spoiled everything, you must go away from me, I do not think I have anything to keep me in your arms, because I do not like to be controlled by a man in sexual relations, go away, let me do it another day and you will not have to interrupt me then."

I pushed his chest, which did not budge, not even the size of his fingertip.

"What are you doing! Do you think I would just do it to you?"

His excited smile brought the butterflies into her stomach, and for a moment she felt that she wanted to attract his lips between hers, but she turned her face to the north and left him to contemplate that white neck and her gray hair that covered it to push it away from above her neck, because it disturbed his eyes, but he pushed it away with a kiss that he pressed over her locks of hair, then he came close to stick his lips Above her neck and her eyes almost popped out of place to become like an animal being slaughtered.

"Mikael!!!"

She screamed loudly in an excited feminine voice, but he pulled her hands to the sides between his wide hands to make his fingers embrace her little fingers that are almost invisible because of the size of his hands, his lips and teeth that he made range over her white neck made it turn pink.

Mikael refused to listen to his wife's words to put his head on her chest, which fell slightly because of his head, and whispered to her, despite the madness that afflicted her.

"I'm a man and men don't do what they force women to do, so... I'm waiting for you... Just tell me if you want it now, I'll make you a night that doesn't even pass in your movies."

"Do you see that I'm a whore in my movies?"

He heard the sound of her heartbeat, which accelerated, and knew that she was afraid, and her hands that were shaking inside his hands confirmed this to him. He raised his head and stared at her eyes, which were gathering tears around her. He refused to make her feel weak, so he let go of her hands and got up from above her, lifting his shirt firmly from the bed, insisting on it for a moment, then wearing it while facing her. With his broad back, which scars cover some of its parts, it did not move, even with a small movement.

For a moment, she felt that she was about to lose everything because she considered her body one of the private properties that she had preserved throughout her life, which would soon hit thirty.

She felt the real weight of his body when he flung himself lightly beside her on the bed and faced her with his back and did not look at her, he even kept the cover for her.

She entered the bathroom after she got up with trembling steps, washed her face, and looked at the traces he had left on her neck. It was very clear, and Lilia's strong courage was erased from existence at that time, so she sat on the bathroom floor crying, trying to calm herself.

"How could he... how... that man... l... I can't believe"

When no one dares to approach her, even by mistake, it is considered shocking for her to be approached by the man she might hate the most at that moment. For her, it was like a stranger harassing her, not her husband.

That night was the hardest night for Lilia ever.

....

Lilia spent several weeks working without speaking to him, and he also did not speak to her, and during that period she wore what covered her neck and also tried to hide it with cosmetics.

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She slept next to him as on any normal day but no one spoke to the other even one word, the ignoring was on both sides, although Mikael let her act as she liked but he would have responded to her words if she wanted to talk to him, after all he wants her to accept him as a husband she has.

After these long weeks, she had to go on a trip to shoot a certain movie, one of her works, so she had to inform him that she was going to shoot a movie, but she did not want to see it, so she chose his work time, so she sat down to write a letter to him and actually sent it half an hour before leaving the house.

The message reached him while she had boarded the train quietly with her maid, Shiro, who had noticed the change in her mistress' mood during that period. Lilia was no longer the one with the long tongue, because she realized that her long tongue might get her into problems and misfortunes and might lead her to death.

Maybe Lilia also started to feel weak because of what her husband did to her, but how will she be able to overcome all that? Although he didn't really touch her with anything big.

...

"Sir, you have received a letter from the castle of Alleron. It must be from Lady Alleron."

The soldier presented the message to his master after he gave him a full and unblemished greeting. As for Michael, he was disturbed by the conditions he and his wife were going through, and he did not pay full attention to the army and other matters around him.

"Thank you, Jimmy."

Taking the letter and thanking him, the soldier turned and saluted again before leaving General Aleron's office

And the general did not open the letter, he sighed because he knew that what was behind it was not good.

So that he can finish the work he started in his hands, and what is meant by the papers that he must work on all the time, so he put the letter aside after he put it under his nose and was able to inhale the scent of the woman who sent it because of the strength of the perfumes that she put on her body, as it had stuck to the papers that you wrote.

"As usual...it smells like nothing else."

His blue eyes sparkled for a moment and he smiled to complete the papers in his hands, and at the same time the train was moving on and her eyes did not turn back in that private room on the train, all she did was look at the views before her before they left the city towards the landscapes in the fields and farms And even the mountains.

Maybe getting away from everything will make me able to think better.

She sighed, moving her head left and right, away from the table, and rose in front of her at the wide train window.

"Our flight will take nine hours, so I guess I'll get some sleep. You don't need to do anything for me, Shirou, just enjoy the view at the window."

She spoke to her maid as she walked towards the bed to throw her body over the bed and bury her face between the pillows, as Shiro felt that things were not well but she did not dare to ask her lady before, because she could not guess her reaction or his strength.

"Madam… are you really alright? These days you were so different?"

Shiro could not hold on to this silence that lasted for weeks, to say what was inside her words

"You can tell me if it's Mr. Alleron. I know he doesn't treat you well when you're alone, but that doesn't mean he has to control everything you do. You're fading away and seeing that makes me hate Mr. Alleron even more."

What was inside her became on the table, as if she had vomited everything she had hidden inside her stomach, and the frustrated lady was listening carefully to the words of her maid, she could not put her full trust in her, but she felt that she was the only person she could talk to, especially after she knew that her friend was trying Getting close to her husband's close companion, so she realized that she was alone and there was no one to whom she could complain about what was inside her.

"I'm fine Shiro, I'm just feeling frustrated because I can't really think about whether or not I should take my relationship seriously with Mikael."

"Uh… so then… I seem to have said things that have nothing to do with what you even think about. I really apologize, madam."

She offered apologies, but Lilia did not care at all about what she talked about, because in any case she would not trust a woman working inside the palace to which she was taken as a prisoner.

"Stupid thinking… You shouldn't have come to such conclusions… I am not a woman who lives in a fantasy world to wait for someone to come to her rescue, no dear, I am walking on my own strength."

She had said these words to her maid, but what was inside her was fear, so that the words she said had nothing to do with what Shirou was talking about, as if Lilia was talking to herself...

The feeling that fear grips your heart because of someone and you don't even know what they would do to you if they wanted to.

The feeling of being the focus of everyone's attention and feeling like your heart might be eaten and smashed by everyone just because they want to have you.

Depression is the perfect description of Lilia Miron's situation.