Seek It Out

When Harry got back home from work late one evening, he wasn't expecting to smell greasy food as soon as he stepped in. "Huh…" He sniffed in puzzlement as he toed off his shoes and threw his bag against the stairs. "Hello?" he called out. Strange… He ventured towards the kitchen.

Castiel was there, in his hand a large paper bag filled with warm food.

Harry tsked. "Oh, come on…" A bemused smile played on his lips. "Really?"

It wasn't long before the two of them tucked into their burgers, legs dangling off the countertop and napkins close at hand to clean up ketchup spills. Castiel was greatly entertained by the blissful expression on Harry's face. He should have known. Dean loved burgers. It wasn't much of a stretch to consider Harry in the same vein.

"I haven't had one of these in ages," the wizard mumbled through the corner of his mouth.

"Was work busy?"

"Hardly caught a break today. I really didn't feel like eating leftovers."

Castiel felt his chest swelling. He concentrated on his burger so he wouldn't blurt out something to ruin the moment.

He looked over when prompted by an elbow to the arm.

"You did good." Harry was more touched by the gesture than he could express at that moment. "Thank you."

Heat flooded Castiel's ears while he stammered out an appropriate response before quickly returning to his food. This was quickly becoming the burger he had ever tasted.

"So…" Harry took a sip of juice to swallow his bite. "If you were stuck in a room with a hundred zombies, think you'd survive?"

"Yes."

"What if the zombies were able to-"

"Yes."

"But I didn't finish. What if the zombies could run really-"

"I would survive."

"Even if they can-"

"Harry. I'll survive."

"Alright… How about a hundred vampires?"

"I would survive that too."

"A hundred vampires?"

"Yes."

"But really though? I mean, these are vampires. You know? With teeth and-"

"That doesn't matter to me."

"How about Dementors?"

"Yes."

"You don't even know what they are."

"I do know."

"Then you're just showing off."

"I'm not. I could survive Dementors too."

"A hundred Dementors?"

"Yes."

"Hmm."

"I could, Harry."

"Sure. I believe you."

"… I don't think you believe me."

"I mean, it's a hundred Dementors. In one room. No doors or anything. You'd be trapped. You think you could survive that?"

"Yes."

"How about a thousand Dementors and-"

"Yes."

"But I haven't finished. How about a thousand Dementors and a hundred demons?"

"… Hmm."

"Aha!"

"That would be a tough fight."

Dinner rolled along past ten. There was a carnage left in its wake – some greasy wrappers, used napkins, a crumpled paper bag, empty cups, and rooms full of frightening creatures utterly defeated by one lone angel. Harry still wasn't convinced though. He hopped off the counter and stretched his tired arms above his head. "You're so full of it."

Castiel knew there was no use in arguing. No matter what he said, Harry wouldn't believe him. He simply shrugged.

"Anyway, I should get to bed. Early day tomorrow." Harry brought his hands to his waist and pursed his lips in contemplation. "Say… If you aren't doing anything Saturday, you should hang out with us at the park."

"Us?"

"I have the brats with me all weekend."

"Oh. Okay." Castiel's voice was calm despite the utter chaos inside his mind. Harry had never invited him anywhere before.

"Cool," Harry yawned. "Night."

"Goodnight."

Castiel escaped to his Heaven without losing another moment. It wasn't just his mind that was in shambles. His hands were cold and trembling, his chest ached, his stomach twisted, and he just had to sit down. He lowered himself onto the warm grass shakily. Everything was going to burst out of him. His heart was going to burst.

What should he do?

He started laughing.

For the first time ever, he laughed.

This must be what unbearable exhilaration felt like… This is what Harry did to him. He never wanted to stop laughing.

Saturday was a wonderfully slushy day. Harry had his hands full with Rose, Hugo, and Teddy. To have them splash through every puddle they could get their feet in was doing wonders to his patience. Halfway through their walk down to the playground, he had given up on telling them to be mindful of their clothes. There was no hope. No hope at all.

And that is when Castiel joined them.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here," he said under his breath before raising his voice and calling out to the children who were ahead of him. "Castiel doesn't want you running through puddles."

The three kids froze and turned around with guilty expressions on their flushed faces.

"I don't mind," Castiel said.

"Yay!"

Harry hung his gloomy head. No hope.

Rose took a quick tumble right as they got to the playground. She picked herself up, took one look at her dirty hands, and then started wailing. Hugo and Teddy took off without sparing her a second glance, kicking a bright red ball between them into the green field. Finding no sympathy there, she turned her attention to the two adults, running up to them with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Owie!" she cried at Harry who was kneeling in front of her.

He took her hands in his and blew the dirt away. "Look at that." He lifted his eyes to meet her tears. "Nothing wrong. Everything's great."

"No," she insisted between sobs. "Owie."

"Well…" Harry pretended to think. "Oh!" He widened his eyes. "I know. Let's use magic."

"O-okay." She nodded eagerly.

"I have to warm up first." Harry started rubbing his hands together. Rose watched in fascination. He furrowed his brow and concentrated hard. His palms started heating up from friction. "I feel it working." He pulled his hands apart and pressed them against her pink palms.

She started when her skin started to feel hot. "It's wo'king!"

"Of course, it's working. I'm great at magic," Harry told her. After a few moments, he moved his hands away from hers. "There you go." He pressed soft kisses against her cheeks. "All better."

Rose beamed at him and then spun on her heels, running off to pester the boys again. Harry shook his head at her. He bet he could count the minutes before she came running back with another 'owie'.

"I got hurt too."

He cocked a brow at Castiel who was holding his hand out expectantly. "Tough luck."

Castiel dropped his arm, mumbling, "That isn't very nice."

It turned out that no one was to be spared by the slushy Saturday. One visit to the park and even Castiel came away with dirty shoes and damp clothes. They kicked the ball around for a while and then the boys had the bright idea of playing catch with it. After it had been thoroughly muddied. Teddy got his hands on some worms at some point and began terrorizing his younger cousins with them. The swing set was wet, the slide finished off in a puddle, and the merry-go-round splashed water everywhere with each spin.

Everyone was shivering by the end of it.

Castiel wiped his hands on his pants. "That was fun," he decided.

Harry glared at him. "I'm the one stuck cleaning them off," he grumbled.

"But didn't you have fun?"

"No."

Teddy giggled as he took hold of his godfather's hand. "Don't lie, Harry." He knew everyone had fun. "I'm hungry." He skipped off with Harry in tow. Rose and Hugo ran after them, pulling Castiel along by the jacket.

Spending time in this fashion, being more human than ever, it was fascinating. He wasn't hunting demons or keeping peace in his garrison. Instead he was scrubbing grubby feet and getting splashed with bubbly water. He cast a fleeting look at Harry who was telling the children off for making a mess in the bathroom. "Keep the water in the tub, for goodness' sake," he chided them.

"Sorry," the kids sang in unison. Their mischievous smiles said otherwise.

There was so much more to being human than to experience pain or betrayal. There was more to it than love. There was the mundane – meals at noon and naps afterwards. There was mystery – questions of what it all meant or how the bread became toast. There was irritation – when the kids refuse to eat their vegetables and the fireplace just won't light. There was the extraordinary – like the magic from a wand or the sight of a paper dragon in flight.

Castiel watched the paper dragon touch down on the tabletop, cheered on by the three children. It was the little things, he realized…

"Cool, huh?" the wizard winked.

If he hadn't met Harry, he would never have glanced twice at the little things.

Maybe that was part of the game. Maybe he was supposed to go searching for the little things. The satisfaction of finding these little things, sometimes even experiencing the little things, made him feel closer to Harry. Handful of meals together, a few shared laughs, babysitting sessions, these little things mattered. They mattered as much as the big things like cemetery visits and nightmares.

Of course, sometimes you miss the big things entirely…

Harry flicked his eyes away from his reflection to spot Castiel by the doorway. "Can't chat for long tonight," he said before returning to the bowtie he was tidying up. "I've got that function at the Ministry." The Minister was announcing a few new divisions as well as thanking donors during their annual Spring Ceremony. "Hermione's going to be here any minute." He ran his fingers through his hair to make sure it would stay put. It wasn't often that he got to break out his suit and dress up. He brushed his shirt smooth, frowning when there was no response to his words. He looked up at the angel through the mirror.

Castiel seemed miles away.

What an intense stare…

"Oi."

He started out of his daze.

Harry tilted his head questioningly. "Still with me?"

"Yes." Castiel forced himself to avert his eyes. "Have a good time." He took a step back.

The door thumped shut before he could get out of the bathroom, startling him.

Harry met his dumbfounded gaze with a sly smirk. "What's wrong?"

"I was… I should… Nothing."

"Really?" He twisted around and leaned against the counter while rolling down his cuffs. "Nothing's wrong?"

Castiel shook his head.

Harry closed the distance between them in one stride.

Startled, Castiel shuffled back into the door. Too close. Faint scent of cologne wafted towards him. Much too close. His heart was thumping against his ribs, wanting to leap out. His thoughts were running away on him, making him dizzy.

With deliberate casualness, Harry rested his hand against the door beside Castiel's shoulder. "I clean up well, huh?"

He swallowed to wet his parched throat before nodding.

Harry leaned in conspiringly. "Is that what's wrong?" he whispered.

Castiel couldn't stand it. He could feel everything at once and he couldn't stand it. "You look great…"

Harry hadn't been expecting that comment. His smile softened. "Ah." Embarrassing. He knocked his forehead against Castiel's with a playful click of the tongue before sliding his hand down to the doorknob and twisting it open. "Thanks."

Castiel wasted no time in stepping away and disappearing.

Harry chuckled to himself. He had walked right into that one. "Idiot."

The doorbell echoed right then. Hermione and Ron. He was quick to do up the cuffs. He was late after all. He grabbed his coat from the counter and threw it on. Then he looked down at himself to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. The doorbell rang again. "Coming, coming," he muttered under his breath as he slid his wand into his pocket and dashed out the bathroom. Ron loved playing with the doorbell. He was halfway down the stairs when it rang a third time.

But he didn't get farther than the foyer.

He bumped into a soft barrier that hadn't been there a second ago and he jerked back in fright.

Castiel stood before him.

"What-"

His exclamation was drowned out by the doorbell. His attention slipped for a moment over Castiel's shoulder at the door and he scowled at it, hoping Ron could feel his annoyance through the wood.

But when there was soft tugging at his jacket, he looked at Castiel again in confusion, then down at his lapel.

A small white hyacinth lay pinned to the buttonhole.

"Oh…" He raised a hesitant hand and brushed his fingers against the cold flower. That was…

He glanced up.

Castiel thrilled at the uncertainty in those green eyes. He pressed his forehead to Harry's for a breath, revelling in the little big things.

And then he was gone.

Harry blinked when he was left alone in the foyer.

The doorbell rang.

"For Merlin's sake, Ron! Just wait one blasted second!"