Die For Me?

Harry rubbed his eyes so he could try and focus them a bit more on the swimming words of the Daily Prophet. Interesting news, as always. A Quidditch team in Norway just announced their newest member – a goblin. "Huh." He hadn't hallucinated that part after all. He squinted at the blurry picture. For a moment he was sure that his lack of comfortable sleep had him seeing things.

He was still in the hospital. The Healers loved to fuss over their dear Harry Potter. His shoulder wasn't performing great, so everyone had insisted he remain in St. Mungo's until he was feeling better. He had decided against putting up a fuss and just taking his medicine without complaint.

Being in an unfamiliar bed at nights did give him rather startling nightmares.

He shook his head to drive out those thoughts.

The door opened, no knock or anything. Only a few people who would do that. Ginny walked in, balancing in her hands a folded newspaper, two cups of coffee, and a bag of what looked like pastries that he is definitely not allowed to have. She dropped the bag onto his lap and set the coffee on the bedside table. "Did you read about the goblin?"

Of course that's the first thing she would ask him. He laughed and nodded. "Just did. Interesting."

"Interesting?" She snorted as she unfolded the Prophet to scrutinize the article again. "Publicity stunt, more like it. Can you imagine? A goblin. On a broom. He'd get knocked off if the wind blows the wrong way."

"And that would interesting to see, right?" Harry opened the paper bag and pulled out a glazed éclair. "I shouldn't be eating this," he said before taking a big bite.

"Me neither." She grabbed the second éclair for herself. "Mum's really worried."

"Yeah." He didn't know what to say about that. Molly always worried.

"Don't mind that," Ginny assured him. "You know how she gets."

"Hmm."

"You look sort of…"

"Tired?"

"Something like that."

Harry appreciated her tact. If he looked as exhausted as he felt, then he must seem sickly. Maybe that's why no one was letting him leave the hospital. "I'm just not getting enough sleep," he confessed. "I'm not in pain or anything."

"Bad dreams?"

"Worst."

"Still can't believe what actually happened to you, though." She arched a brow in derision. "Don't just open the door to strangers in the middle of the night, you bozo."

Harry ducked his head sheepishly. "Well, I wasn't really… in the right state of mind. And none of my alarms went off so…" He trailed off. Excuses, all of them. He was still beating himself up for being stupid enough to fall into a demon's trap. "I can't remember a lot of it, so I guess I'll count my blessings." Unfortunately, when he fell asleep, those forgotten moments played in his mind's eye.

"Still can't quite figure out what happened?"

"I keep trying, but it's just a mess." He brushed the crumbs off of his chin and averted his eyes. "It's like that last time I ended up hurt. I can't tell what I had dreamt and what was real."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ginny treaded light.

Harry shrugged.

"You were badly hurt, weren't you?"

"Hmm."

"You don't remember that?"

He did remember it. He remembered the pain of a sword running through his chest. He would rather not remember that part. He massaged his chest absentmindedly. "I never thought bloody demons would ever come after me," he muttered. "It was a trap, you know?"

"For your angel?"

"Yeah." In the chaos of his muddled memories, he did see Castiel trapped in fire. "He hasn't been by."

Ginny sipped on her coffee, examining Harry's expression for a moment.

He took another bite of the éclair instead of continuing. So the question hung in the air…

What happened to Castiel?

The Impala sloshed through pouring rain, windshield wipers swinging at full speed. Sam was fast asleep, the sound of water on glass putting him at ease. Dean craned his neck to look up at the overcast sky. He had been watching the sky an awful lot lately. He had been praying an awful lot too. They hadn't heard from Castiel yet. No signs, no notes, no nothing. And it was more than a little troubling. "Where are you?"

Jimmy smiled unconsciously while watching his daughter devour her bowl of ice-cream with certain vengeance. She had grown so much. Looked as beautiful as her mother. Thankfully she was much more forgiving than her mother...

Claire arched her fair brow at her father. "What?"

"Nothing. I didn't realize you were that starved for ice-cream, that's all."

She pursed her lips, clearly unimpressed by his observation. "It happens to taste great."

"I don't doubt it." This visit was wonderful. Claire had been overjoyed to see him again. She had a headful of stories to talk about, armloads of hugs to give away and bright smiles that warmed his heart. Pretending to be her father again was the most wonderful thing...

"Can I ask you a weird question?" Harry smoothed the paper bag down on his lap and set the éclair on it. Ginny nodded at him to ask. Even so he hesitated a bit. "If it meant saving my life, would you die for me?"

"Hello, Dean."

"GAH!" The Impala swerved wildly into the rumble strip, shocking Sam into jerking out of his wonderful dream, before Dean stomped on the brakes and skidded to a halt on the shoulder. Thankfully the highway was deserted. He cracked his neck when he whipped his head around to gawk at the backseat where Anna sat, calm as can be. "You…"

"We need to talk. About Castiel."

"You're going away again, aren't you?" Claire murmured.

"Hmm."

"Why?"

Jimmy reached across the table to cup her hand in his. "I'm sorry, sweetheart..."

"But why, Dad?" she insisted on knowing. "It's enough now. You should come home for good."

Jimmy knew that wouldn't be possible. "It's dangerous," he told her. "You know how dangerous it is."

"We'll move around. No one will find us. We'll go away, all three of us. You helped Castiel for long enough. You have to stay home now."

Ginny frowned at Harry. "Well, that would be a waste, wouldn't it?"

Not expecting that abrupt answer, he cocked his head to one side. "I beg your pardon?"

"I mean… you died all those years ago so I could live. Wouldn't it be a waste if I died anyway?"

Sam and Dean glanced at each other in wonder before turning their attention to the angel with fiery hair. "Uh, what about Cas?"

"He tried to give his grace away to save Harry."

"… Okay?"

"That's a sin," Anna spelt out for the mortals. "If the other angels find out, he will be persecuted." She sat forward. "You need to watch out for him. Don't let him get into a situation like that again. He clearly can't think straight, not when he's around people like you two all the time."

"Do you want to hear something strange?" Jimmy asked his daughter.

"No." Claire swirled the ice-cream around with her spoon, brooding. "I want to hear you say you'll stay here."

"Castiel is afraid."

She paused and looked up at him.

"He is afraid to ask me to be his vessel once again."

Harry scowled at Ginny. "That's not fair. You should return the favor," he blustered.

"Oh yeah? I should die for you?"

"Yeah. Because I died for you."

She snorted in amusement.

Dean was relieved. "So he's alright."

Anna clicked her tongue in frustration. "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah," Sam said, "but it's not like we can talk him out of making stupid decisions. He just does what he wants."

"He turns to you for advice, doesn't he?"

"And he never takes it," Dean interjected.

Anna massaged her temple. She had forgotten just how difficult it was to speak to humans, especially the Winchesters. "Just take care of him," she murmured before disappearing.

"Being an angel, it must be easy," Jimmy thought aloud. "It must be easy living without emotions, following the Lord's will because it is right. But now he understands what it is to be human and he is afraid."

Castiel stopped walking along the edge of his Heaven and lingered by the flowers as he listened.

"Is it scary?" Claire wondered. "I don't think it's scary."

Jimmy propped his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his hand. "Imagine caring for someone who isn't immortal like him. Isn't that scary? The thought of watching them die?"

Castiel stared at the delicate red petals, followed its gentle swaying in the breeze.

"Imagine the uncertainty. Angels shouldn't feel that way. The world is always certain to servants of God," Jimmy explained. "The way is clear for them. They have ascended to such heights that they see everything happening below. People live. People die. It is the way of the world and angels know of this path. But Castiel... He is different. He is different and so he is afraid."

"But different is okay," Claire thought aloud. "Being different isn't a bad thing."

"You don't deserve that éclair," Harry decided. "… Or me."

"Mhm," Ginny mumbled behind suppressed laughter and her cup of coffee.

Dean raised his eyes to look up at the stormy sky. "Cas, you son of a bitch."

"Yeah," Sam echoed his sentiment.

"I think it makes him a better angel," Jimmy confessed to Claire.

Castiel reached out to touch the flower.