Ashes

Bianca February, 28th 1989

The soul of the universe touches me, and the cold no longer affects me. The power I feel drops me to my knees in the grass, and tears automatically flood my eyes.

Is this what it means to have faith? First, to be in the darkness, lost, uncertain, and afraid? Then, suddenly feel the warmth and security of something you can't see with your eyes but somehow lights your world.

I don't suddenly feel the urge to join a convent and become a nun, nor the desire to go to a church and pray. That's not what I need, and the universe isn't asking me to do that either. So it's quiet yet screams in my ears.

It doesn't feel like it would make sense to anyone. I could try to explain it for the rest of my life and never get it right. 

Every piece of me becomes engulfed in the sensation as more of the magic flows through me. The tastes on my tongue change from sweet to salty to bitter and soothing. I feel everything and nothing, and I can't believe I neglected this for so long. 

It didn't feel this way the last time. It seemed normal before, but now I can't say I'm the same.

Am I transitioning? It's not supposed to happen for another year. Only hybrids develop more quickly. At least that's what my mother told me, and I wasn't technically Entit'a. 

The ancient name for werewolves, vampires, and dragons. For anyone who was considered a non-human. Yes, I was part witch from my father, but that didn't make me a hybrid.

Unless there was something, my parents hadn't told me.

No, I would have sensed it if I were more than one supernatural species. Witches don't develop a secondary personality. Your soul stays intact and doesn't do the natural split like a werewolf. Unless you have more than one bloodline of Entit'a to your name, and only if at least one of those aspects is a non-human or a cursed line.

Vampires are the most common example of that loophole. 

We weren't anything but Ge'llin and witches. So, why did I suddenly feel like something was waking up inside me? Something that was in there and had been waiting for me to finally acknowledge it.

Out of nowhere, the image of a large egg appears in my thoughts. I didn't imagine it. It just appeared there. It's a dark orange and red, with black veins all along the surface. I watch the egg start to crack, and I'm paralyzed on my knees, unable to move.

At first, the cracks are small, but quickly they grow as whatever was inside becomes more desperate to come out. I won't lie, I'm terrified, and all I want right now is my mother.

What was this thing? It felt so different and alien, but at the same time familiar.

All of a sudden, I feel sharp pain all over my body. I try to cry out, but no sound comes out. It's coming from inside, deep in my bones and radiating onto my skin.

What was happening?

The egg was the size of an adult human, and I watched, unable to look away, as a hand broke through the shell. It's covered in a gooey liquid, like a bird when it's born, but it's definitely human.

The pain intensifies, and I feel like I'm dying. Was this thing going to replace me?

Within seconds there's more of whoever was inside coming forth. It's a girl. Dark cinnamon hair, the same complexion as me, only hers seems to glow. I can't see her face yet, but I know she's beautiful.

The rest of the egg breaks, and she collapses to the ground. She's wet, shivering like she's cold, and quietly sobbing the same way a baby would when they're first born.

My first instinct wasn't to fear, though it should have been. But, no, what I feel is a strange desire.

I want to help her.

In my mind, I get closer to her, and she jumps when she realizes she isn't alone. That's when she looks up at me, and I gasp.

The girl looks so much like me. We couldn't pass as twins, but you could quickly think we were sisters. Her features were sharper than mine, making her seem more exotic. Her eyes were a dark fiery amber, and I imagine that was the color my eyes were supposed to turn when I was thirteen.

She stares at me, uncertain what to do for a moment before shuffling toward me, making desperate whimpering sounds in her throat.

Without thinking, I reach out and wrap my arms around her, hugging her as tightly as possible. The moment I do that, I feel the connection between us. She was someone I'd known a long time ago, someone I'd been taught to bury deep in my heart, but I can't remember who told me to do that. It wasn't my phuro or daj.

So, who was it?

"It's okay, Raidne," I whisper, stroking her hair and imagining that she's dry and warm. "It's okay."

Raidne had been my imaginary friend when I was a girl. I have vague memories of pretending she talked to me, setting a spot for her beside me at the table, and drawing pictures of her. Then one day, she wasn't there anymore, and it was like she'd never truly existed to me. 

Raidne wasn't a name I'd chosen, but I couldn't say where it came from. I just knew it was hers.

As I imagine her warm, Raidne stops shivering and the wet gunk on her skin disappears. Leaving her clean and in a sleeveless dress that barely covers her. Her hair cascaded down her back, and now that she's dry, I see the parts of her that would never pass for humans.

Wings.

They aren't like angel wings, attached at the shoulder blades and sticking straight out. No, Raidne's wings are more bird-like. Connected to her arms and sides, they spread out to reveal her feathers' deep reds and oranges when she lifts her arms to the sides.

The pain's still going through me, but it doesn't matter anymore. The only thing I can focus on is Raidne and making sure she's alright. I realized the egg wasn't an egg at all. It was more like a cocoon. Wrapped around her and kept her safe until she was ready to come out.

"Bianca?" Raidne whispers, her voice coming out like a song. 

"Sh, everythings alright," I soothe her, and she relaxes against me. 

I had no answer for this. I never knew that Raidne wasn't just part of my imagination. She was more than that. She was real. 

That meant I was a hybrid, but how? My phuro was the one with entit'a blood; the only part of that was a witch. But, wait, did that mean my daj was entit'a as well?

Why did they keep this from me? This wasn't fair on Raidne or me. It was also dangerous. I might not have grown up in the supernatural world or even among other Ge'llin, but I read so many stories about our people who'd locked away their powers. It never ended well. 

The chilly wind starts to get to me, and I'm forced to pull away from my subconscious enough to focus on my surroundings. 

My skin's sweating, and my back hurt like someone was pinching me with thousands of needles, but the initial pain I was in before seemed to have died down enough for me to move.

Grabbing my nightgown, I slide it back on and get to my feet.

I needed answers, and I wouldn't find them here. There was only one place I could go for them, and the thought wasn't as nerve-wracking as I'd thought.

I was eighteen. Whatever I chose to do after all of this was up to me.

I start walking back to the house, but something gets Raidne's attention, and I pause. 

"There," she mumbles, pointing to something I'd seen several times but always felt uncomfortable going near.

It was the place where Stephanie's mother was buried. I won't deny that I wasn't all that comfortable with the idea of them burying her in the backyard like other people would their pets. But Stephanie said they could come and visit her whenever they wanted.

Brian came out to talk with his wife every day, which made me sad for him.

I can't call it a tomb. It's more like a shrine. They keep flowers here even in the winter, and you'll never find a spec of dirt or snow on the stone. 

Why did this interest raidne so much?

As we get closer, I start feeling unnerved by the shrine. I've never been afraid of the dead before, but even before today, I got a strange vibe from her tomb.

Stopping a few inches away, I read the inscription on the tombstone.

Maria Kora James will rest here for eternity to be with her children and adoring love.

I'd never read it before, and I won't deny it's creepy. I go to walk away when I feel something grab onto my ankle. I see a hand coming out from the ground with a horrified gasp.

"Run away!" A gasping voice echoes from nowhere. "Before it's too late."