Chapter 4: Alpha's Remorse

Alpha Elijah:

The Alpha's office was passed down from father to son, and as a child I spent much of my time in here getting berated by my father. He'd lean against the heavy desk and lecture me for hours and hours as I sat with my head bowed in front of him.

Right now, I was feeling much like that little kid again.

It didn't take long for him to realize something was wrong, and soon after Blake took off into the forest he grabbed me and dragged me into the office. He was going to find out soon enough, so I told him everything that happened earlier. Suffice to say, he was not happy.

"This was going on under your nose the entire time?" He snarled.

"I don't know, dad." I drop my head into my hands. " What Alex has done…how long it's been going on…I know nothing."

I hear him move over to the bar, pour himself a glass, and then one for me. He slammed the cup on the table next to me and returned to the desk.

"This is not the sort of Alpha I raised you to be, Elijah." The disappointment in his voice was evident. "Maintaining a pack of this size requires a firm hand and an attentive eye. Being an Alpha is not some fun job, Elijah, it's the responsibility of peoples lives."

The urge to remind him that I never wanted this position in the first place welled up and I had to swallow it down. That would set him off without a doubt. I just wanted the pack to have the freedom I had craved under my father's reign. But maybe I was too lenient.

Maybe I just wasn't cut out to be an Alpha.

I failed someone who was under my care, who lived in my house. And even worse, I broke the promise I made to Robin's mother all those years ago, long before she was taken from this world.

Nirobi. The only woman I ever felt like I truly loved. Of course I love my Mate, but our union was the Goddess' doing not of my own will. My love for Nirobi was a hundred percent natural to me.

We met when we were children and I was instantly infatuated. So much so that I was adamant that she was my Mate. I daydreamed of the day I could officially claim her as mine, tell her stories of what it would be like for us leading the pack together. She liked me just as much as I liked her. I wanted her to be my Luna.

My father of course disapproved of our relationship and as I got older he eventually banned me from seeing Nirobi. The first time I ever directly disobeyed him was when I decided he couldn't stop me from seeing her. I was so sure she was my Mate. Nothing could keep me from her. Then my eighteenth birthday came and I didn't find my Mate–not in her or anyone else in the pack. It was disappointing but I was happy that I could at least stay with her. I hadn't even considered the possibility of her finding her Mate, until she found him on her own birthday. Some Warrior guy. I couldn't even be mad about it.

Soon after the winter solstice came, followed by the annual Alpha gathering. Since I was eighteen I was eligible to attend and it was my first introduction as the Alpha Apparent to the other Alphas. It was there that I met my Mate.

Unlike our Moonscape pack that passed the Alpha title from father to son, the Redmoon pack passed the Alpha title from parent to strongest child. They had two children in the running for Alpha Apparent, both women, and one of them was my Mate. Sienna.

Sienna was almost everything an Alpha could ask for in a Mate and Luna. Strong, intelligent, attractive She just wasn't a very affectionate person. And she always carried a little animosity towards me because she believed I snatched her away from her position as Alpha to become a housewife. I can't say I didn't despise her a little, for not being Nirobi. But neither of us had a justifiable reason to reject another and our bond recognition happened in front of all of the Alphas of our coalition. There was little else that could be done besides Mate.

Time passed, I became Alpha, and Sienna grew pregnant with our son Blake. And it was some months after his birth that I saw Nirobi for the first time in a long while. She was glowing and beautiful, swollen with her own child. Despite the time that had passed, despite the love I had grown for Sienna and the love I had for my son, I knew that Nirobi still had my heart.

It was then that she asked me to promise to watch over Robin, to keep him safe. I was helpless to her request. When she gave birth I hid nearby and prayed for a safe delivery. I cried when I heard Robin's first cry, wishing I was the proud father in that room.

A shiver went down my back as a haunting howl pulled me from my thoughts. It sounded like Blake but the howl was sad, as if he hadn't found his Mate. But that wasn't possible. I knew exactly who his Mate was.

"Sounds like your brat's in trouble, Alpha." My father mumbled mockingly behind his glass, the bottle of whiskey now at his side.

My mind raced. If things went as expected, Blake would feel the bond with Robin and they would be Mated. But with Alex's interference anything could happen at this point. Blake had every right to reject Robin for having someone else's Mark on him, and unfortunately knowing my son that is a possibility.

"Are you going to go find out what happened?" My father snapped as a second howl rose in the air. That one sounded like Alex.

"Dad…" I sigh. He and Robin grew close after my mother's death so I wasn't surprised by his frustration towards me. As Alpha, I am responsible for anything that happens to a pack member. Especially when that pack member is the Mate of the next Alpha.

"If you're stupid son rejects Robin–"

"I know dad!" I couldn't keep my voice down as my patience thinned. "I will deal with it when it needs to be dealt with!"

He only snorted and poured himself another drink. My head was pounding and I honestly didn't know what to do. Alex and his father were an issue in itself, but if Blake rejected Robin then I'd have the aftermath of that to deal with. It wasn't well known because it rarely happens, but if the bond is broken between Mates–whether consensual or not–it could cause depression and sometimes mania that could last for years. That was not something an Alpha could have and–if it is the case that the bond was rejected–the pack could find out and reject Blake as their Alpha. The next closest thing I have to a son is Robin and he would suffer the same as Blake–probably even worse because I still don't know what Alex did to him. My family has reigned as Alpha since the creation of Moonscape. It can't end here. Not like this.

"Do you think Alex needs help?"

I turn to my father to see him holding his glass between both his hands, rolling it between his palms as he stared into the sloshing amber liquid.

"Help?"

"Godric is bad enough being a drunk, grieving asshole abusing his kid despite your…warnings." He scoffed and gave me a disapproving eye. "But Alex is clearly gay and Godric has never hidden his homophobic ideals even before Alicia died. The kid needs therapy."

"What are we going to do, outsource to another pack?" I scrub my forehead. "We don't have anyone qualified for that sort of thing here. Not since mom died."

"Something needs to happen Elijah. I'm sure that Mark wasn't the first thing that Alex has done to Robin. To even be able to Mark him in the first place–"

He cut himself off with a curse and threw his glass across the room where it shattered on the wall. Bile crept up my throat as the dots connected and I realize what I smelled on Robin this morning was the result of something that he probably didn't consent to, not some random he decided to mess around with.

And I congratulated him.

I grab my glass and down the contents before pouring myself another and downing that too. The more I find out, the more I'm realizing just how badly I fucked up.

Suddenly the door burst open and Blake rushed into the room, a crazed look in his eyes. He looked around the room wildly before locking onto me and he grabbed onto me.

"You have to bring him back, dad." He wheezed.

"Blake what–"

"Robin! You have to get him. I'm sorry I just–he asked me and I just–Dad, please I want him here I want him back–I need him back–"

My body tensed as a warning signal went off in my head, my pack connection to Robin trembling. A piercing pain shot through my head and I fall to my knees with a groan. It was followed by a weird thump resounding in my chest, as if someone flicked me really hard.

"Robin." I choke out, struggling to stand up.

"Dad, fuck dad–" Blake was freaking out beside me. "Do something, go get him–"

Somehow I find the strength to scramble up and out the house, catching my footing as I switch to my wolf form and following Robin's scent. I take off into the forest all the way to the main road, where at some point I lost his scent. But there was only one way to go from here that was opposite to pack territory and I shoot off in that direction.

But just as I reach the territory line something heavy crashed into me hard and sent me skidding across the asphalt. I bounce to my feet and growl harshly at my father standing in front of me in his wolf form.

"Move, dad."

"Stand down Elijah." He bared his teeth at me.

"I have to get Robin. He can't go rogue." I step forward so we were toe to toe. "Move."

A snarling growl cut through the air. "You may be Alpha, but I am your father. I will not hesitate to beat your ass black and blue boy. Stand. Down."

I hold his gaze for a long moment, not wanting to give up so easily. Robin is like my own son. I made a promise to his mother to protect him. But I knew my father wasn't going to give, and without a doubt in my mind I knew he could still best me in a fight. I wasn't a fighter. Never have been.

My ears flatten as I sat on my haunches and whine. "He's practically my son, dad. What else am I supposed to do?"

"Start by not sending yourself straight into rogue territory where you will be at the mercy of anyone who holds any animosity towards our pack." He sighed, relaxing just a bit. "I can't lose both of you, Elijah. Not in one day. Not ever."

"I've failed, dad. As an Alpha. As a father." I drop my head. "Robin is so innocent…so kind. Yet he has suffered so much and I wasn't there to protect him. I failed to see what was happening right under my nose."

He rubbed his muzzle against mine. "You're not a failure, Elijah. Some things are out of our control no matter how hard you try. I know how much Robin means to you because I know how much his mother meant to you. Robin is smart. If anyone can find their way, it's him."

"He shouldn't have to. He's only seventeen."

"You can't take it to heart, son. The only thing we can do is hope he returns to us."

I crumble to the ground as a sob escaped me. Robin was too precious for this. He was always such a good kid. Happy. Smart. Small, like his namesake, but reliable and always held his own. He lit up every room he entered. And he looked just like his mother.

"Oh, son." My father sighed. "Let it all out."

"I failed him. He doesn't feel safe in his pack, in his home. I failed Nirobi."

"We are his family. He will return to us eventually. We must pray to the Goddess for his safety."

"I pray he returns to us soon."