Incendiary brunette.

Emme.

I go into my room and slam the door. But what does he have to ask me about things that don't concern him at all? It's my business, he has no right to interfere. I sit down on the bed. My choices, my decisions, are my own business and nobody else's. He asked me so many questions. Exactly like Lucas did, he only asked little trivial questions to find out everything and in the end only hit me again and again. I close my eyes and the memories come flooding back. I was in the vineyard, I suddenly stopped in front of a plant that was drying. I crouched down to take a closer look.

Sergio, the man in charge of the fields, came to find me there, crouching in front of a plant.

<< Mrs. Dos Santos? >>

<< Sergio come and see this. >> He crouched down next to me to see what I was talking about.

<< I feel like this plant is drying out . It's not sick, is it? It doesn't risk contaminating the others? >> He smiled before answering me.

<< Don't worry, it's completely normal. She's just drying out, but it's nothing serious, so don't worry. >>

<< For a moment I was very scared. >>

<< It's beautiful to see how attached you are to this vine. >>

<< This vine is my husband's whole life so I care about it too. >>

Sergio's face closes, he straightens up and holds out his hand to me, which I grab to straighten up too. Except that I stagger on my heels and we both end up on the floor.

<< I'll really have to stop coming with high heels in the vineyard. >>

<< I think so too, Sergio said, bursting out laughing. >> He helped me stand up and I cleaned my pants. Then I went back to the estate to take a shower, put on a white summer dress and sandals.

In the evening, when Lucas came back to the estate, I had already finished cooking and was setting the table.

<< My love, are you here already? I made beef chops. Just a moment I finish it. >>

<< Where were you this day? >>

<< In the vineyard, why? >>

<< And what were you looking for? >>

<< Nothing. I just wanted to take a walk. >>

<< Is that all? He said, grabbing my arm violently. >>

<< Yes that's all. >>

Lucas continues more and more to tighten my arm. I feel the tears go up to my eyes.

<< Lucas please you are hurting. >>

<< Tell me who you were with in the vineyard? >>

<< But I wasn't with anyone of course. >>

Before I knew it, a strident slap had fallen on my cheek. I find myself on the ground, my cheek throws it, blood comes out of my nose.

<< You were with that idiot Sergio. You were laughing with him well hidden in the vineyard. And you dare to lie to me? >>

I didn't have the strength to answer him, I didn't have the strength to open my mouth.

<< You lying bitch. >>

A second blow landed on my cheek, then he kicked me again and again. Harder and harder. I couldn't do anything but shield my face and stomach. Then he stopped.

<< My love? >>

I started to crawl upstairs, I could hear his footsteps behind me. He was getting closer and closer to me.

<< My love, let me help you. >>

Tears were burning my eyes, I was in absolute pain.

<< I'll call the doctor. >>

Then he came and carried me in his arms and brought me into the room, I tried to struggle to let go of him, but he held me tightly. He laid me on the bed and a few minutes later the family doctor came to take care of me. He seemed really panicked and kept asking me to forgive him. When the doctor finished checking me out, Lucas stayed by my bedside all night.

When I saw the worried look on his face, I decided to forgive him, he was really worried and sorry and it was only a few shots. All I had to do was tell him the truth and he would never have hit me like that. In the end it was my fault. I thought subconsciously that if I changed my way of being he would stop hitting me. I naively thought I could change my husband.

My phone rang and brought me back to reality, I wiped the tears from my eyes. It was Nick.

<< Hello little panda! >> I smiled before answering. That's the name my big brother had given me because of the black and white pajamas I loved to wear.

<< Hi big bear. >>

<< What's with the little voice? >>

<< Nothing too serious don't worry. >>

<< Of course I'm worried. You are far away from me. And you're not well. Is it Matt? >>

To tell you the truth, it's not his fault, I just have this annoying tendency to associate all this hell that Lucas made me go through, with all the men who try to get close to me. One of the many after-effects I kept.

<< No, he's been lovely. >>

<< So what's going on? >>

<< As always I'm the problem. >>

<< Stop. >> I'm sighing.

<< What did you want to talk to me about? >>

<< Every time I want to talk about it you avoid the subject, at some point you're going to have to tell me everything that bastard did to you. >>

When I managed to escape Lucas' estate and come back to New York, I could never tell Nicolas everything, he would have killed him with his own hands. I just told him that I left because he beat me. What Nick doesn't know is that I lived in that hellhole for two years.

<< Nick, I'm not ready. >>

<< You've been singing the same thing to me for over two years. I'm sick of it, Emme. I was just calling to see if you were settled. Bye. >>

Nick hangs up on me, I sigh. I know what Nick is capable of if he really learns the truth. Lucas is such a powerful man, I don't want Nick to get involved in this. It wouldn't be fair of me to bring him into it.

I look at my watch, it's late. I brush my teeth, put on my nightie and go to bed. It's the only part of my femininity that I have left, I've always loved sleeping in comfort and nighties give me that comfort, you feel like you are sleeping naked, yet you are dressed. I pull back my blankets and lay down on my bed. In the morning, I wake up with an uneasy feeling. I behaved very badly with Matt I should never have spoken to him like that and left the table like I did.

I have a bad conscience, I have to go and apologize. I sit down on my bed and think about what I could possibly come up with as an excuse.

<< Sorry, I should have never left to talk to you like that. >> Or I could make him coffee and take it to his room.

Get a move on. Otherwise you'll chicken out. I get up from the bed and walk out of the room, I go to the living room, but it's empty.

Shit!

I walk towards her room, tiptoeing. Once in front of the door, I hesitate to knock. I raise my hand then lower it again, I stand in front of the door like an idiot.

<< No but since when do you chicken out like that in front of a man? >> I mutter to myself. You've been working on yourself for two years not to be like that anymore.

No matter how much I recite this mantra, I don't feel any stronger. I put my hand on the handle, push it gently, then close it as quickly as I opened it, hopefully he's asleep and didn't realize I opened it. And I head for the living room. At the same time, the front door opens, on a beautiful brunette. Curly hair, perfect makeup, she wears a beautiful white suit it fits so well that we could swear it was custom made for her. She takes off her sunglasses, puts her Chanel handbag on the sofa and looks at me with disdain.

<< Who are you? >> She asks me, crossing her arms over her chest.

<< This is a joke isn't it? You're the one who lets yourself in without knocking and asks me who I am? >>

<< Ah okay I see. >> She opens her bag and takes out a huge wad of cash.

<< Hold this, I think it's more than enough. >> She says, throwing the money in my face.

<< No but what's wrong with you? Who do you think you are? And especially for what do you take me? >>

<< It's clear though, isn't it? >> She looks at me from head to toe, I suddenly realize that I'm dressed in a tiny nightie, I look like a girl who just got out of her lover's bed after having spent a rather agitated night.

I am about to answer him when the door of Matt's room opens. I hear his steps behind me, he embraces me by the waist and buries his head in my neck. Hello" he whispers to me in his hoarse voice. I feel at once the goosebumps on my skin, a shiver runs through my whole body.

Then he deposits a kiss on my shoulder, another in the hollow of my neck, I close the eyes. And whispers to me.

<< Will you go wait for me in the bedroom please? >> I am unable to speak, my voice would betray me. I shake my head and walk towards his room. I open the door and I enter his world, the bed is not yet tidy, normal, he has just got up, I recognize his smell at once. Powerful, strong and intoxicating. A guitar is hung on the wall, apart from the bed, everything is well arranged. I sit down on the bed and I try to forget that I am in the room of the man who troubles me.