I've Got that Fire in my Soul

Chapter 10 : Dayna Leah Wilson P.O.V-

"And what about now?" I ask Noah as I adjust his black tie. "Is it fine?"

"Yeah" A poor attempt at a smile "Better. Thank you." A frown adorns my face as I wheel Noah through the hallway, outside the front door, into the arch way of the entrance of the burial site for his sister's funeral.

I have no idea what to expect when Noah finally finally sees his loving sister's face for the last time. But of course as a person and more scientifically deeper as a doctor, I know how he may feel, but what I don't really know is the way he will react. Unpredictability is a big issue here, especially because I'm still getting to know him.

One by one...step by step.

I try go out as much as I can to ask other people about Noah, his sister and their relationship. Their parents are extremely emotional, as any parents should be. They started to cry when they tried to describe how close Rosalie was with Noah. His dad was holding his wife with so much support and grief, like the sea of sadness could not drown their ship no matter how big the tides.

When I asked Rosalie's and Noah's friends, they were sharing stories that made the grieving parents roll on the ground with laughter. Not literally of course.

Group healing is very effective in coping over such situations, and I am glad that they have each other. Having a community that especially plays an important role in someone's life is such a girt in itself.

Communities hold and connect to each other to the point where they identify as a group, even as an in-group in extremities, confirming to the rules and regulations set by the role-models or authoritative figures present. Having common interests, events or other reasons are what usually draws people together in the first place.

Forming a healthy in-group means having literally everything a person desires in terms of friendship. The individuals included would play their respective roles and create a 'cloud of comfort' where the respective party feels completely at peace and serenity.

The feeling of contentment and immense satisfaction is a great thing, it's a definite thing. It's an urge to reach contentment. That is the power of feeling safe, and feeling that you are perfectly fine. It's what every single organism strives for. It's what the 'survival of the fittest' finally is, to be completely and irrevocably free of all things constricting you and living as you should be.

My black dress with designed laces that flows behind me catches on the dew and small flowers of the glass on the ground of the cleared part of the forest, as I wheel forward closer and closer to the equally black colored coffin that appears to be designed with beautiful fresh roses and lilies. People parts a way for Noah towards his sister's final placement.

Rosalie is dressed in the most beautiful black gown that highlighted her beautiful pale cheek-bones and her slender body. Her lilt frame and her ebony black hair complimenting her youth even in death. Even with shadows under her closed eyes and traces of veins that once beast against her skin, she looked perfectly asleep, just ready to be woken up.

It made me think of snow white and her fairytale. If only Rosalie's didn't end in such a tragedy...

Noah and Rosalie looks so similar to each other, so much so they could almost pass like twins. I could only stare at her sleeping profile for so long before expectantly waiting for Noah reaction.

Noah, who could only stare at her with eyes as if to beg her to wake up one last time and look at him. As if he would be the dwarf that woke her up with his brotherly love instead of the cruel prince of death kissing her life away.

Please, wake her up. His eyes screamed in agony as he looked at me when I placed my hand on his shoulder as an act of comfort.

I let Noah's dad and mom, adorned in a similar black suit and dress respectively, take Noah away so that they can be there for each other as a family. I move to the side after I pay my respects. Evelyn stands beside me sparing me a smile in greeting that I give back, then she holds my hand and squeezes tightly. I squeeze back just because I know how hard funerals are for her.

Alexander nods his head in greeting to me and I nod back in acknowledgement. Then he starts the funeral.

A beautiful ceremony that included various people taking about Rosalie and how beautifully perfect she was as a friend, a sister and a daughter where Noah especially welled up at that.

The speeches showed how interconnected this society really is. The air of immense sadness hangs in the air as the crowd sings the parting and mournful songs for Rosalie.

Then they do the most beautiful thing by placing Rosalie in her coffin into a pyre on a small boat decorated to the brim flowers and things that people think of when they remember her and let her boat float away to the official burial grounds rowed by her dad and a few of her closest friends.

Then they buried her.

A moment of absolute silence surrounds every crevice of the plane before howls fill the air in terrifying sorrow. If anyone was scared by those sounds, no one showed it. Everyone bows their head in respect to her 'Soul passing over'.

A chant goes through the crowd of the many gatherers. "Long may she dwell in the palms of the Moon goddess with grace and comfort until the reunion with her in the ultimate end."

Howls fill the air again for what feels like the final time for today and the sounds disperse giving way to darkness.

When everyone finally disperses, I linger behind a thick horizontal slab of stone as I watch Noah and his parents stand in the burial site in front of the freshly moved mud, part of their family's burial site, clinging to each other like a lifeline. I press myself to will my tears to finally stop flowing, but yet again despite my command that my body rejects, the tears flow free. And when a hand appears holding a handkerchief, I sniffle before I accept it.

"Thank you" I say to Thorne as we just stand in silence together watching the now smaller family.

"A death is devastating no matter what occurred. There will be no one that can replace the person who is lost, because every person is unique in their own way.

"I feel that every person has a special trait special to them. For Rosalie it was her unending kindness, for Noah it's his goofiness, for Alexander it's his stubbornness and for Evelyn, I'd like to think, that it's her unpredictability of whatever comes into her mouth." I laugh at the latter part of his sentence.

"You're getting to know her quiet well." I smile at Thorne "Seems like you're not too much of a bad guy for her after all."

"I wish I never am. Ever." He looks at me with sincerity shining in his eyes. "Thank you for taking care of Evelyn for so long, for being by her side as a really good person she trusts." I just tilt my head to the side in the sudden change of conversation. But I nod.

"This may not be the correct setting to tell you this but I hope you treat her as good as she deserves to feel, because I don't think you want to know what will happen if you don't." I say teasingly, but not without delivering the truth, deciding that he could interpret it in whatever way he wants to.

"Warning noted." A nod then he looks at Alexander who has Finn on his shoulders beside twin graves so close to each other that it almost looked as a big one, but was separated by the head stones on the top.

Alexander delicately places a bouquet of flowers on the other end while balancing Finn on top who seems to be clutching on whatever of Alexander he could hold on to, so that he could grasp at the sheer terror of the height, or of the sorrow, or of both. For such a little boy to show such great sorrow, that must be Finn's parents that he had told me last night about I conclude.

I share my thoughts "Finn told me about his parents."

"That kid knows more that he's supposed to." Thorne's face shifts to a sad expression. "His dad was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal lung cancer just a few weeks before Finn's arrival into the world. He used to work in areas where there was heavily contaminated air as a solider before he met Finn's mom who forced him to move to the country side sometime later.

"They didn't have kids during the first five years of their union, but their greatest joy was when they found out that they were pregnant with Finn." A bittersweet smile adorns his face "Joseph was jumping up and down, if I remember correctly, while delivering the news to us. Their smile could split their faces and their joy was contagious. 'A miracle' they called Finn, and they tried to do anything and everything to keep every step of the pregnancy memorable including taking videos, photos, Polaroids... everything.

"Then when the confirmation of the disorder arrived, they were crushed, but that didn't let them make the rest of their lives any less memorable. Joseph was very sick, but he was much healthy for a stage four person, which was how the cancer went undetected for a long time. So he managed to help out Julia however he could in every possible way.

"I still remember the day that Julia's water broke." Thorne chuckled lost in the memories. "Joseph went into a straight out panic mode and dropped everything on his way to the car. It was like he was going to give birth instead of his wife.

"When Julia was a few hours in labor Joseph just collapsed. He was immediately admitted and connected to a ventilator. What happened was that mucus had filled his lungs so much that he couldn't breath as good and it completely blocked his nasal system. The spreading cancer decided to take his remaining kidney right then and there, as if one was not enough.

"His only request was to be placed in the same room his wife was giving birth to his son. They wanted to be together always, and he wanted to hold his wife's hand she delivered the miracle they reproduced together. And so Joseph left the world as the most happiest man as he closed his eyes for the last time listening to his son's first cry with a beautiful smile on his face like he had everything he ever wanted.

"Julia joined her husband not soon later when her bleeding wouldn't stop due to her immediate overwhelming grief, holding her and her late husband's light in her arms naming him Finn." A flare of fire was lit in Thorne's eyes for Finn.

"Not soon after, Miranda came and took Finn in like it was the most natural thing, and in some cases it usually is. She loved him like her own child and took care of him so that he never felt anything like an orphan. Alexander naturally became his older brother figure, and so looks up to him a great deal. Finn views Alexander as a model like how Alexander looks at his own late father.

"They are the two people that Finn is most close to, excluding me and a few other people. Now you too, if I have to mention the way he was hopping around after yesterday's shinagins between the two of you." Thorne even has the audacity to wink and I feign a gasp and slap him lightly on the shoulder.

My tears were a free flowing waterfall. My heart couldn't bear the thought of losing my own parents at such a young age. Finn was so undeniably strong. He is such a sweetheart, a light indeed. And I'm so grateful for Miranda's big heart to raise Finn up to the young boy that he is becoming slowly.

My feet carried me towards Alexander and Finn, the latter who was now standing beside Alexander holding his hand with his head bowed down in gentle prayer. My fingers slide into Finn's soft curls as if to show him that I will be there for him from now on till I can't anymore, just like I promised him last night. He extends his hand for a hug and I grab onto him with everything that I had.

When I look up, Alexander is already looking at us with a pleasant smile that confirms his comment at the action.

Sometime later Finn breaks out and runs to join Thorne and Evelyn on the car ride back home after blowing his parents' silent grave flying kisses. I smile and the undeniably aware figure grumbles a warning to Finn not hurt himself then a chuckle at Finn's extensive nodding upon confirmation, and when I look at Alexander something stirs inside me that I'm unfamiliar with. I press a hand onto my chest and press back at the foreign emotion.

Be still my heart, and beat like you have never done before.