The ringing in my head was becoming persistent and I couldn't get it to stop. I stumbled as I slid down to the floor trying to catch my breath.
It wasn't happening, was it?
I was having a panic attack at work. Everything became blurry and I couldn't even differentiate between what was real and what was not.
All I need was to try and calm down otherwise I would spirally at work. I didn't want people to think that I was crazy.
I wanted them to like me and no one ever liked a psycho bitch before.
Deep breaths...
One two three...
It wasn't working. Maybe it was because I was panicked.
"Put your hands over your head and count one, two, and three until you feel you have calmed downed", my mother had said.
One two three... I repeated it trying to take slow shallow breaths and my hands stopped shaking.
The door of the bathroom suddenly opened revealing a small figure.
"Hey you okay"?", the lady asked as she scooted closer to where I was seated.
I tried opening my mouth to say words but I was still out of breath so I just nodded instead.
"Don't worry I always have panic attacks at work too you'll be fine ", she said as she sat next to me.
I looked at her wondering who she was since I had never seen her at work. Why was she even seating beside me on the bathroom floor?
She noticed me scrutinizing her and gave me a sweet smile.
"If it's okay with you ill sit here until you're okay I don't want anything bad to happen while am gone ", she said still smiling.
I smiled at her and went back to my routine.
She looked new. She was small and you could tell that she had no sense of humor because looking at the way she dressed she probably work up and threw on the nearest clothes to her.
The glasses that she was wearing made it hard to figure out how old she was because she looked just like a sixteen-year-old.
With my breathing now stable I removed my hands from the top of my head and let out a sigh of relief. The last time I had a panic attack I was still at the orphanage when the older girls had locked me inside one of the bathroom stalls.
It was a nasty memory that I did not like remembering given that it ended with me in the sick bay because I had passed out.
"Thank you ", I said to the stranger that was seating beside me.
"It's okay am Aimie ", she said as she stood up and left not even waiting for me to tell her my name.
I picked myself up from the floor and dusted my skirt and left the bathroom. It may shock my dear husband was still standing in front of his office with that skunk.
Apart if I hoped that he would look up. I wanted him to look at me and be worried. I wanted him to rush to me and ask me if all was okay but I knew that was not something that would happen anytime soon.
I made my way to my desk passing them and I just walked past them I could smell his cologne on her. Maybe I was being delusional given that they were standing so close to each other.
I pulled my chair scrapping it to the floor but not even that got him to turn his attention to me.
Maybe I was trying too much, I thought to myself. He had not even glanced at me once and I thought that what, he would madly fall in love with me in a second?
I needed to wake up because I was in deep sleep or losing it. It had to be the latter.
Just as I was about to start my work I had this agitating voice calling my name. Didn't he get tired?
"Ana I missed you where did you run off to? ", he asked me as he plopped one of his arms on my desk. I could feel his breath on my skin and it was the most annoying and disgusting thing I had to endure on a morning like that.
"Sorry, Marcus I'm busy mind coming by later? ", I asked him as I looked up at him.
"It doesn't seem like you were busy you were starting at the boss seconds ago ", he said chucking as he leaned in more towards me.
"What you're stalking me now? ", I asked him getting agitated.
I didn't hate him or anything like that it's just that he always managed to come at the wrong time.
"No I was just waiting for you since I saw you rushing to the bathroom I wanted to know if you're okay ", he said as if it was the most heroic thing ever.
On a good day maybe I would have smiled at that statement and told him that I was okay but you see the thing is that it wasn't a good day.
"And they say chivalry doesn't exist. They haven't met you ", I said sarcastically.
"Well what can I say am a gentleman ", he said not catching my sarcastic comment at all.
"Okay since you don't seem to get it about this. I don't want to talk to you and you're not a gentleman or anything that's just weird and if you would excuse me I need to work ", I said glaring at him.
"Are you sure you're okay I have never seen you like this? ", he asked again.
"For the love of God Marcus would you please leave me alone ", I said and it took maybe seconds to realize that I had said that a little too loud given that everyone was looking at me.
Even Vince was looking at me. Only I didn't want him to look at me this time round. I felt like I was being scrutinized.
"Anastasia, in my office right now, "he said as he turned and entered his office banging the door loudly.
"Seems like you didn't sleep well love ", said the blonde girl that had been standing with Vincenzo who I still hadn't known her name.
"Yeah, am sorry what was your name again I didn't quite catch it last time I saw you. ", I said as I smiled at her.
"Sorry about that your husband knows it he could tell you if you want ", she said laughing" Oh oops I forgot people don't know you two are married ", she said as she turned and sauntered away.