Chapter 7.2: "Ritual"

Warning: self-harm

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"Even if you love her, you are not what she seeks, you will never be."

"I don't care, I want to help her, I want her to live and not for me... because it's so unfair..! So unjust! She had to suffer all these years… for what? A bad ending where she dies failing at her task?" My mangled screams seemed to move Fiamma who loosened her grip on me and I took the opportunity to dodge her. I fell on the damp dirt and got up immediately, starting to run towards an unknown destination: I had to find her, it was the only thing I could think about.

"Wrong direction, empress."

I saw her eyes in the foliage, I heard her voice in my head, ready to eat me alive and torment me. As if I didn't already feel guilty about how things had turned out and not having had the opportunity to confess to Alex.

I had never felt love for anyone, nor a man or woman, I still didn't know how to express what I felt for her. I had to see her again, at least one last time, I had to be honest with her.

Something twisted around my leg and I fell to the ground, hitting my head against a boulder I hadn't noticed due to the darkness. Something hot stained my temple and I tried to get back on my feet despite the difficulties in remaining stable: the blow to the head had stunned me.

"Alex from Clevwood... the most beautiful girl in the country, only at eighteen she had won many hearts... but desire and envy blinds, corrupts sometimes, makes vile, mean, horrible monsters even... women of the country and some lowly men accused her of witchcraft because of her enchanting charm, they went back to her family, turned their lives upside down, twisted the facts to their liking and at the right occasion, gave flesh and bones to the fire, believing they atoned their sins.

"Why are you telling me this? "

" You must understand empress, that Alex is nothing more than a ghost that wanders, waiting for the day when the reaper will come to collect her soul."

Suddenly, I found Fiamma in front of me, blocking my step. Her white hand came to my face, her fingers brushed the wound, tinged with red as she dragged her fingertips across the blood.

I was paralyzed.

She was the only presence in the midst of the darkness of that inevitable night.

The desolation that engulfed me within a second was so powerful it made my legs tremble; maybe it was Fiamma itself that made me tremble at that moment or the fear I was feeling for Alex.

"You miserable woman... always looking for a meaning, a place to belong to" her lips came close to my ear: "This time... I'll give you what you are looking for. Consider it an act of grace, Zeyana."

She covered my eyes with the palm of her hand and when she moved away from me, I found myself in front of a small temple, or more precisely, its ruins: it was made of stone, illuminated by a single lantern, the one that had held Fiamma and that in that moment it was abandoned next to a wall.

No trace of her.

I didn't waste time thinking about why she behaved that way; I walked through the ruins, immediately finding the entrance: a stone corridor, stained with moss along one wall, led me into a large room, with various openings. Where was I supposed to go? What would have been the right way? I was experiencing a nightmare, at least the atmosphere was dreamy: my vision was hazy, but the pain was real, the cold I felt and it froze my veins, it was true.

"Alex? Alex where are you? " I shouted hoping she would hear me, but the noise once again leaped from one wall to the other of the ancient building, and there weren't answers.

I tried to control my accelerated breathing and continued the journey. I couldn't allow myself to be controlled by anxiety and worry, even though my chest and throat felt closed in a dangerous grip, which threatened to choke me just like the presence of Fiamma when I was in the woods.

I chose one of the openings, relying on luck and still walking along corridors that must have been abandoned for many years, then after minutes that seemed endless to me, I saw another entrance. Actually it was a fracture in the wall.

My eyes rested on a green area and a gash that let in the moonlight, allowing me to observe my surroundings without using the lantern. In a short time, after sliding my gaze from the mysterious plants that inhabited the place, to the stone cobblestones, I found an altar, with an object on it, unknown to me. Beside the altar, a body was moving.

"Alex?! "

I ran to her, finding her slumped on the ground, in the middle of a red circle that I hadn't noticed before: " Stop, don't come near !" she shouted, raising her arms against me, making me back off with her powers. I smelled the stench of blood and understood that the circle with the strange inscriptions on the stone had been made with blood, which must have been hers since she was holding a dagger and her arm was wounded.

I panicked, I had to stop her.

"How is it possible? How did you find me... that's not good, that's absolutely not good! " she stood up furiously, standing on weak and trembling legs, risking to fall to the ground a second time.

She looked at what must have been the Eye of Time and brought the knife to the veins of her wrist, without hesitation.

"Alex calm down! That won't work out! " I didn't know what to say to stop her, but I would have tried everything to succeed.

"Yes it will! I will make it work... I have to do it!" At her cry, a rushing wind began to surround the area, descending from the night sky, creeping into the opening of that sort of mysterious cave. My body struggled to withstand the force of that storm, but I managed to cling to the stone table, grabbing the Eye of Time and holding it tight to me. It burned my skin, it seemed to want to rebel!

"NOOO! "

By now Alex's voice, appearance, powers themselves were unrecognizable, but I would never understand if it was that magical wind that distorted my vision and confused me, or the state of degradation that Alex was going through for the ritual.

The magic circle lit up, a bright red as the blood dripping from the witch's arm, but it was a faint pulse, not strong enough.

My intuition told me that something terrible was about to happen; I saw the dagger Alex was holding, the same weapon I had given her to defend herself a year ago, come close to her skin and her bloodshot eyes clearly said what the next move would be.

Desperate, I threw myself against her, clutching with all my strength the hand that held the dagger and trying to bring her back to me: her eyes became black, unrecognizable, her lips were fixed in a grimace of anger and pain, hers hair fluttered in the air and her nails were razor sharp; the blood that stained her skin would soon be mine.

"Alex you cannot change the order of things or you will break every rule, every law of Nature! The Eye is nothing more than an ancient artifact, not the key to return to the past, it will not resurrect your loved ones, you will only tear your life away if you continue like this! "

"I'll die if I fail, I don't care, I'm almost there! " Alex's distorted voice hit my eardrums almost stunned but I held my grip on her, even if I felt the wind increase and try to take me away with it.

Fiamma's words, what I had read in the ancient scriptures and the events that were happening led to a single conclusion.

Nothing would be accomplished, and no one in the past survived after a blood sacrifice.

A new awareness had made its way into my veins, it was as if an unknown force had taken possession of my limbs, of my whole body, telling me how to act and what to say. I didn't know how it was possible for me to have an instinct strong enough to force me to act to block any attempt by the witch to proceed with the ritual.

Alex squeezed my arm with her free hand, which prevented her from getting hurt again, and began to scratch my skin: " I won't let you stop me Zeyana, I won't let anyone do it! "

I no longer recognized her gaze; I knew that the pain it was causing me, the redness that was coming out from its blows, was not really wanted. My blood dripped into the circle, while the wind around us forced us to fix our feet on the rock, holding on to the altar. Strangely, the dark liquid seemed to flow smoothly, unhindered, without being stirred by the rushing air. Meanwhile, I still had the Eye of Time in my hand, but it began to burn my skin harder, forcing me to let it go. I watched in terror as it rose into the air, towering over us and lighting up with an unknown light, pulsing like a heart.

Alex's screams brought me back to her and before I could say a word, the dagger slipped out of my hand; the witch cut her veins in a sudden gesture, collapsing in the middle of the circle. In that unbearable chaos I tried to hold her in my arms, clutching her wounded wrist, trying to keep the blood from leaving her frail body.

My tears, my words didn't seem to reach her, how could I save her? How could I stop that hell and anything who wanted to take her away from me? Never in my life had I felt so helpless and weak towards life and the natural order that ruled the world. It was an unbearable reality and despair petrified me, throwing me into panic and the certainty that we would both die that night.

"Still... it's not enough," Alex whispered against me, tightening her grip on my clothes. I had ripped the fabric of my shirt to tie her wrist and stop the blood from flowing, but it was already soaked, it wouldn't have helped if we hadn't closed the wound in a short time. Her skin had turned so pale, I didn't recognize her. With my arm I held her head, bringing my hand to her face and stroking her cheek: "Tell me what to do Alex ... please! "

"Blood…" I wouldn't get any answers from her: she was delusional, her eyes were half closed and seemed on the verge of closing them forever. I decided to do the one thing that could have worked for her, the one she wanted the most.

"I promised to give you everything you wanted ..." I smiled bitterly, then grabbed the dagger that trembled on the stone surface, shaken by the gusts of wind and the effects of the ritual.

I only realized the second before stabbing myself that I had never been completely sane, maybe the presence of Alex had triggered something in me, it had changed the person I saw every day in the mirror. For what other reason, if not madness, would I have decided to risk my life or give it away for a desperate and utterly insane woman?

The pain was barely perceptible because I immediately fell into a state of unconsciousness, immersed in the last thoughts and realizations: the world that had always been dominated by logic and reason for me, suddenly became unknown and incomprehensible; magic, nature, living beings, everything took on a different meaning and vanished at the same time. The vortex was no longer external but internal to my head, a devastating storm.

Finally I understood what Alex had been feeling: that oblivion, before death could take me, was what she had faced every day of her life.

"Zey..? Zey what have you done?"

My blurred vision didn't allow me to see clearly what was happening, my hearing had almost disappeared and my body was not sensitive enough to let me know if there was still a storm around us.

"Alex... is this enough..? " I brought a trembling hand stained with blood to her face, bringing it closer to me, to try to see it better. Alex seemed to be back to her normal appearance, at least her eyes were the same as always: "I missed you... so much..." I coughed turning towards the cold stone surface, feeling something warm stain my lips. The metallic taste that filled my mouth was a clear sign of my demise.

"Zey, I'm sorry! I failed, I failed to save them that time and I failed them once again... why didn't they just take me? Why?! " she sobbed, screaming in despair, making me understand that the ritual had not been successful. I no longer understood her next words, but she could still hear me: "Alex... I didn't want… this ending for you… I love you Alex. I love you." I said these words full of meaning, enduring the pain that screamed at me to be quiet and be done with it, but at all costs I wanted to at least tell her what I was feeling, to be completely honest.

The last thing I felt before I fell completely into darkness and silence was something warm and soft on my lips, a feeling that I wanted to hold tight to me and never let go, but by now that warmth wasn't going to be enough to melt the ice that inhabited my body.