Chapter 8.4

Alex fell to the ground grabbing my hands and forcing me to look into her face as she spoke and screamed with the same intensity as me.

"Don't leave me... kill me instead Zey! I deserve it after what I did to you!"

"Those monsters have done this, they are the ones who have to pay, why should you be the umpteenth victim?!"

"I don't want to live in a world like that, Zey! I want my family!" She was crying and sobbing, her whole body trembled. Only Heaven knows how much I wanted to hug her at that moment and make her feel good, but that wouldn't work, I couldn't believe that kisses and caresses would allow her to go on.

"I know you don't want to live, I see it clearly, I see it from your wounds" I grabbed the bandages that surrounded her neck: "I see it in your eyes every single day Alex! It destroys me, it hurts me to watch you turn yourself off like this, but I love you ... I can't kill you ... I don't want to, you are the only one I can be myself with, if you die, the only part of my life worth living for will die too! " I cried desperately through tears, clutching her clothes in my hands, clinging to her with the fear that she would disappear shortly thereafter.

Alex said nothing and continued crying against my shoulder, until she regained control of her breathing and opened her lips to speak, in a very weak voice:

"I thought about it... I imagined still living, with you… but what if I felt like this every day? What if I can't sleep every night from my nightmares, what if every second, instant of the day, I feel guilty that I'm still alive? I don't think I would have the strength to face all this... you would be forced to see me die in front of your eyes and suffer more. I don't want you to feel the same things I'm feeling. I don't want to destroy you too..."

"You are not alone Alex, you will never be again. Now you have people who want to protect you, who want to see you alive ... you would go through all this suffering with me and I don't care about hurting myself or having to support you all my life, because I love you and it does me good just to be next to you. .. and you would not only hurt me, Keira and Fiamma would also be hurt ... I'm sure that even Tynov would be sad."

Alex laughed bitterly, but I grabbed her face, reiterating what I was saying with the same decision I had the day I invited her to follow me into my Empire: "Alex do you really thinks that your mother, your grandmother, your brothers ... would they like to see you dead? Do you really believe you were the culprit when you didn't decide to hurt them? You say you have failed ... but this is not part of your responsibility either... from the beginning the Eye would not have been governable at will, it would not have made a wish without taking something greater in return... without a world to live in, not even your family would have survived. You can still do a lot and I am not saying it because I love you, I am firmly convinced that with your powers in their place, you could prevent other tragedies like yours from happening ... you can make the Earth a better place if you wish. This is your true strength. You will honor your family, keeping their memory, telling about them to others, using for a good purpose those powers that the women of your family revered so much... in the end I believe that Nature could never abandon youò" I ended my long speech letting go of a sigh.

That great weight on my chest had become lighter and as I looked at the features of Alex's face, I realized that she looked calmer than before. She was looking at the ground, it seemed that she was reflecting on what I had told her.

"Because you love me?"

Her voice had become really sweet, I had never heard that tone, and her words left me confused, but it did not last long because the thought that she was dealing with her feelings and her pain, comforted me, unleashing a familiar warmth in my chest:

"Because even if you don't think so, you are the bravest, strongest, most talented person that exists in my eyes ... you have come this far, you have conquered thousands of people with your magic, with your stubbornness, and what's more unpredictable, you won even me." I smiled shyly, barely holding back all the love I felt for her. After admitting it out loud a couple of times, it was as if my feeling for her had exploded and was expanding as the seconds went by as I admired and talked to her.

"Zey... I don't love you yet..." and her voice trembled, but her hands on my face had a sure grip: "... but I think that falling in love with you would be really nice... it would be really easy."

And those words were enough to make me understand that I would not have to face the greatest pain of my life, her passing. But the road to recovery for both was still long; despite everything I finally saw in Alex what I was looking for: the desire to fight.