He Dared Not To Be Too Hopeful

Heisuke slept so deeply. He didn't even notice when did his mother return home. The exhaustion from his previous job took a toll on his body without him realizing it.

At a quarter before eleven o'clock, Heisuke finally stirred awake. Mrs. Saeki was folding the dry clothes in a corner of the living room.

The lamp in the living room was not switched on. Mrs. Saeki only relied on the lights pouring from the kitchen that partially brightened the living room. Seeing how her son was so deep in sleep made her reluctant to disturb him.

"Mom?" His hoarse voice cracked the silence of the apartment. He tiredly rubbed his eyes, "When did you get home?"

He was shocked to see that he only had less than an hour to head to work. Usually, he had woken up long before that.

"At eight," Mrs. Saeki stopped the task at hand. She peered into her son's sleepy face. There were faint traces of exhaustion in his eyes, "Heisuke, Mom heard that you saved someone at the beach? Are you alright? People said Hisaki performed first-aid for the poor lad."

"Nothing to worry about. Yes, she did emergency treatment," Heisuke slowly got up. He stretched out his limbs before he folded the futon and put it aside. He also switched on the lamp, "I'll get ready for work."

After a few hours of sleep, Heisuke felt much better but, he did feel a bit uncomfortable in his throat. He wondered if the chill from earlier had caught too deep into his bones.

"Just reheat the food. Mom brought some back for you," said Mrs. Saeki as she carefully placed the folded clothes inside a cabinet, "Whose flask is that? I have never seen it before."

Heisuke's line of sight fell on the gray thermal flask sitting on the kitchen counter. It was still half-filled with the honey ginger tea.

He answered quietly, "It's Hisaki's. She made ginger tea for me."

"Oh?" Mrs. Saeki's eyes widened in delight, "Hehe, she's so thoughtful ah! She must be worried about you catching a cold. Don't you feel touched by her kindness, son?"

Instead of thinking that it was weird for the young maiden to do something to her son, Mrs. Saeki was pleased with Hisaki's actions.

Heisuke sighed helplessly, "Mom, enough. Anyone would misunderstand if you put it like that."

"Seriously, I'm just telling you the truth," Mrs. Saeki scoffed, silently thinking that her son was so slow in this area.

Even though it was not too apparent, her old eyes caught fondness from the way Hisaki looked at her only son. Her years of experience could easily tell him that.

Heisuke couldn't say anything, just letting his mother with her own imagination. He found two bento boxes on the kitchen counter.

"Haven't you eaten, Mom?"

Why did there be two?

Mrs. Saeki responded without looking at her son, "Bring one to your workplace. It'd be difficult to find food at midnight."

"En... alright."

Heisuke swiftly agreed. He could save some money from buying food tonight.

There was rice, chicken katsu, boiled vegetables, rolled omelets and miso soup in both boxes. To save time, he just reheated one of the soups. He didn't mind eating the rest cold. At the same time, Heisuke put the other bento box inside a tote bag.

At half-past eleven, the belly full Heisuke washed the dishes and got ready to go to work. Before he left, he brought out a crumpled envelope from a drawer of the TV cabinet.

"Mom."

Mrs. Saeki had just entered the washroom when she was suddenly called by her son. She glanced at her back, "What?"

"Use this money for whatever you need," Heisuke grasped his mother's right hand before putting the envelope in her palm, "I've paid the rent for this month. Tadao said there's a sale at the shoe store. You should get new shoes, Mom."

His mother's shoes were quite worn-out. Like him, she lived frugally. More than half of their combined income was used to pay the debt. Fortunately, it would be cleared within a few months.

It was not like they had no spare money. Their household still had little savings that they put aside for any case of emergency.

"Your mom still has money ah," Mrs. Saeki frowned. She pushed the envelope back to her son, "I could use my own money if I wanna get new shoes. Yours are also bad. Go buy one for yourself."

"If I don't spend money for my own mom, who should I spend it for?" Heisuke swiftly put the envelope in his mother's pants pockets. He quickly took a step back.

"Spend it to find yourself a wife ah!" Mrs. Saeki really wanted to smack some sense into her son's silly mind.

Heisuke grinned, "I'll think about it later. Gotta go! Good night, Mom!"

"Hey! Don't forget your tea!"

Heisuke backtracked. He rushed to the kitchen and took the thermal flask that his mother filled with her honey ginger tea. His eyes fell on Hisaki's flask.

After a moment of hesitation, he brought it along with him. Both flasks were carried inside a tote bag.

Seeing Heisuke's action made Mrs. Saeki shake her head in helplessness.

Really, he couldn't see how he was acting.

"Be careful on your way to work," Mrs. Saeki sternly reminded her son as she sent him to the door, "Don't push yourself if you feel uncomfortable. Keep yourself warm."

Heisuke tilted his head, "Alright, ma'am. Go inside, Mom. Lock the door."

"En, remember what I said."

"Ya, ya."

After hearing the latching sound from the inside, Heisuke began running down the flight of stairs. He purposely wore a thicker jacket over his T-shirt tonight. He couldn't deny the possibility of catching a cold if he wasn't being careful.

Heisuke stopped his tracks right in front of the gate. With a slight twist of his neck, he quietly stared at the farthest unit on the right side of the apartment.

'Has she fallen asleep?'

The only light in the direction was the lamp brightening the corridor. From the darkness through the closed windows, it was obvious that Hisaki had long gone to sleep.

Heisuke pressed his lips tight. He retracted his gaze from her apartment. A sigh escaped his lips as he stroked his short hair.

There was something wrong with him right now, that was what he had been thinking.

Before, he was deeply disturbed by the dreams but, now, the unpleasantness was replaced with anticipation. He no longer found them troublesome.

Even though some of the dreams made him feel bad and awkward when facing her, they also sprouted an unknown feeling in him.

Were those dreams showing him what his future would be like?

But...

Heisuke admitted that he got along well with Hisaki right now, mostly because the dreams brought calmness and peace to him. Yet, he couldn't say that the fondness was a feeling of love.

He didn't have anything to offer to her or anyone. She was a bright and kind young maiden. Many capable men would suit her better than him.

Thus, he dared not to be too hopeful.

'It's alright. Everything hasn't been certain.'

Heisuke cheered himself up. He ran from the gate to the road, letting the night wind brush against his skin. The flasks clang into one another in the tote bag.

The image of the moon shining its lights against his back was lonely.

Back at the apartment, a surprised Hisaki was sitting in the dark with her back against the wall. The front window was just above her head.

'Was he looking my way earlier?'

Hisaki unconsciously covered her mouth with both hands. She was reminded of seeing Heisuke staring in her apartment's direction a few minutes ago.

After having a simple dinner and browsing the practice books that she bought, Hisaki planned to go to bed but, sleep didn't come easily to her today. Her heart and mind were still worrying about her old man.

Thus, instead of tossing and turning on the futon, she wandered aimlessly in the dark living room. Seeing that the time when he should go to work got closer, Hisaki looked out the window.

Never did she expect to find him looking in her direction!

'Did he rest properly?'

Hisaki let out a regretful sigh.

If not for seeing Mrs. Saeki returning around eight o'clock earlier, she might really gone and knocked on his door to check his current condition.

Her old man looked tough and sturdy from the outside but, he tended to fall sick from time to time. It might happen due to the long and suffering decade he spent in prison. The fact that he always wore out his body during his younger years also didn't help.

Hisaki hoped he liked the ginger tea she made only for him. Hisaki brewed it according to her mother-in-law's recipe. Mrs. Saeki taught her that in her previous life.

En... How she wished she could be by his side right now.