Chapter 16: Keep holding on

Keep holding on

I sat on the stoop of the building, watching the sun fall behind the buildings, the light in the sky dimming to a hazy orange. Pain radiated through me, the mark throbbed, echoing the devastation I felt. I knew Madison would probably be gone the rest of the night, and I would be left alone, trying to find comfort in my own mind. For the first time, in a very long time, I took comfort in someone else and now I regret letting it happen.

My mind is the only place someone understands me.

I made my way to the apartment, the flowers still clutched in my hand, the heat from the sun wilted them slightly. Entering the kitchen, I found a vase, being sure to temper the water, I put them on the counter, holding onto a small bit of hope that these meant something. Even if they served as a warning, they would continue to remind me that I didn't deserve love… I would be spending my time alone and had to stop thinking that would change.

A loud bang brought me to my senses, as I ran for the front door. Madison had stumbled in, falling to the floor. A large man was behind her, he seemed furious, screaming at her, "You sorry bitch! Get up!"

I placed myself between this man and her, giving her time to stand up, "Get the fuck away from her." I hissed.

"And who the fuck are you? You are a whore too?" He snapped, stepping closer.

"I think it's time you leave." I said, taking a step closer. I wasn't scared, in that moment, anger overwhelmed me… What was the worst he could do? Kill me? "You touch her again and you will deal with me."

Madison grabbed my arm, "Kavi, please. Just stop…"

"Yeah, listen to your friend and keep your whore mouth shut." He quipped.

She jumped in front of me, holding her hand to my chest, "Please." She moaned, tears in her eyes. I blinked slowly, taking a small step back. She faced him, smiling, "Things got a little out of hand tonight, but I will make it up to you, promise." Her voice was ten octaves higher than normal, she ran her hand up his chest, touching his face, "Come on baby, we've had some good times, right?"

He laughed, "This is the last time Madison, you're washed up. Time to move on a do something you're actually good at. Cause sucking dick ain't it."

"Come on Markus, we've known each other for years, I know you're just upset…"

"Nah," he said bluntly, "not doing this anymore. Go figure it out, I'm done with you. No more money from me." He leaned passed her, looking at me, "And you need to watch who you're talking to you scrawny bitch." I shoved Madison away from him, planting a punch right on his nose. He leaned over, grabbing his face, blood pouring, "The fuck is wrong with you?" He screamed, holding his nose.

"GET OUT NOW!" I screamed, anger boiling through me.

He stood up straight, his face red, he took a step at me, and I hit him again, this time in the jaw, he reached out, trying to charge at me. I ducked down a bit, getting a knee up just in time to catch him in the balls. He fell to the floor this time and I laid into him. After everything that had happened, I had enough rage to take out just about anyone.

Madison screamed, pulling me back, "NO! Leave him alone!"

"Get him out of here." I scathed.

She helped him from the floor, leading him into the hall. I heard her sobbing when the door slammed shut loudly. Overheating, the anger begging to be released, my heart raced. That son of a bitch, how dare he try to touch me? Madison came back through the door, sobbing still. The way she looked at me… It was disturbing. "You had no right…"

"That man was trying to hurt you Madison! I had every right."

She clenched up, "He was my best client! Without him I don't know what I am going to do!" She tossed her clutch to the floor, crying again, "I'm gonna lose everything!"

"What the hell are you talking about? He called you a whore?! How are you not furious! You can just get new clients…" I reasoned.

"It's because I am a whore Kavi!" she screamed, "And he is the reason I've had money to take care of us… and now…" she sobbed harder, "I don't know what to do!"

I was flabbergasted, not sure what to say. The anger was still there, but I was genuinely confused, "You're not a whore Madison, people sleep with their clients all the time."

"No Kavi," she stopped, suddenly calm, "I sleep with people for money. I am a prostitute." She said very confident suddenly.

Everything suddenly clicked into place. All of the late nights… The off handed comments Drew would make about her… The toys and products… Oh my god. "Why? Damn it Madison, why didn't you tell me?"

"You're my best friend Kavi, I thought you might not approve of my lifestyle considering…" she stopped, stomping over to the couch, "I felt like I was betraying you."

I followed her, my body shaking at all the emotions coursing through me, "How would that be betraying me Madison? I feel stupid for not seeing it honestly."

She flopped down hard, "It was my casual view of sex that got you hurt…" she sniffled, choking down a sob.

I sat down, trying to breath through it, "You can't blame yourself for that Madison, I knew it was wrong and I did it anyhow. You didn't force me to go that night. I am just as much to blame for the incident."

She sat up, leaning against me, "I'm sorry Kavi, I know I ruined your life. I wanted so badly to make up for it. This is the only thing I've ever been good at." She shrugged.

I put my arm around her and kissed her forehead, "If this is what you want from your life, then that is your decision to make. You don't need to hide things from me, I support you as you."

Her eyes lit up as she looked up, leaning in and planting a kiss on my lips, "I will always love you Kavi, even if you're just my best friend, I will never stop loving you. I don't want to lose you in my life."

"You won't. But," I started, pushing her back, "You smell, please shower and brush your teeth before you try to kiss me again." I laughed.

"Ugh I didn't want to kiss you again anyway!" she flopped back down on the couch.

"I think," I said, chuckling lightly, "you want my body and just haven't come to terms with being completely lesbian for me."

She laughed, "Whatever bitch! I enjoy cock too much for all that!"

She ended up laying against me again, I tossed my arms over her, cuddling her close. It was nice, to be close to someone physically with no implications, just comfort. We flirted, we kissed, we had a different relationship, but I knew we would always be close. And I would do anything for her.