At first, Xie Lian had planned to show off his culinary skills; however, after tonight, his confidence plunged by a million-fold.
Hua Cheng had suggested that he could make dinner instead. But how could Xie Lian have the face to ask him to cook, after Hua Cheng fixed his door and cleaned his shrine too? Who in their right mind would treat their guests this way? Besides, who did he take an esteemed Supreme Ghost King for?
Fortunately, he brought plenty of supplies back from town. Although a large portion of it went into Xie Lian's pot, there were still some buns and pies, and veggies and fruits left; so they munched on what they had. But after munching, what then?
The next day, the problem was solved on its own. Bright and early in the morning, the door of Puqi Shrine opened to the knocking of a bunch of village girls, who had come to offer large pots of porridge and a roasted chicken. The village girls were shy and anxious, so who they came for was quite obvious. Xie Lian couldn't help but sigh in awe to himself, thinking beauty really could fill a stomach.
That roasted chicken was divided between the two children; Xie Lian only had some porridge and Hua Cheng didn't touch anything. He smiled.
"Gege is really popular in this area."
Xie Lian laughed. "Don't tease me, San Lang. They were obviously drunk, but not on wine."
After that bowl went down, Qi Rong was bound outside the shrine for an entire night, howling and screeching; yelling things along the lines of:
"I'd rather be captured by Lang Qianqiu, be butchered to a million pieces, than to be stuck here and fed poison by you!"
"Cousin Crown Prince, I'm wrong, please I beg you, give me the antidote!"
He even seemed to start hallucinating, and became delusional. Little Guzi was horrified. By early morning, Qi Rong was shrivelled up and sucked dry; his face completely green. He lapped at the porridge Guzi held in his hand before finally regaining some strength. He croaked with a broken voice:
"Bullshit! Popular? Who the hell would come for him?? Look at that shabby appearance! Also, don't you be so full of yourself, Hua Cheng you fucker. You can only attract some country chicks from remote places like these, at most. They only came clinging because you're dressed so extravagantly. If you dressed the part of a beggar, I doubt they'd even look at you!"
Xie Lian thought that wasn't right at all. Even if Hua Cheng dressed like a beggar, Xie Lian believed, should he go begging, he would collect a mountain of gold. Still, he said nothing, and started doing chores leisurely. After a while, another wave of smells wafted outside, and Qi Rong roared again.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?! WHAT THE HELL!"
Xie Lian replied warmly, "That pot of 'Love for All Seasons' stew. I'm heating it up."
Hearing this, Hua Cheng applauded softly. "What a good name."
"YOU GAVE THAT FUCKING THING A NAME?!?! STOP!!!"
Just the smell from heating it up reminded Qi Rong of his terrifying memories. Afraid that Xie Lian would really feed that to him again, he didn't dare speak more. After finishing the meal, Lang Ying silently collected the cutlery as if going to do the dishes.
Xie Lian chided, "Let it be. Just go play. I can take care of this."
Maybe he wasn't allowed to cook, but he could still do dishes. Hua Cheng watched Lang Ying take Guzi out to play, and said, "Let me do them."
Xie Lian declined the offer. "There's even less reason for you to do them. Just sit."
Before he finished speaking, they heard Qi Rong, who had been bored with nothing to do after having filled his stomach, make catcalls.
He spoke with a greasy tone: "Hey chickee, what're you doin' checking me out? Did I make your little tender heart quiver?"
That ghost had just been griping about how he didn't care for country girls, but then turned around and started flirting, and so tastelessly too! Xie Lian shook his head, thinking he'd best drag Qi Rong in after all, lest he scare people while stuck outside. Unexpectedly, before he even opened the door, voices of awe from the villagers rang out.
"Whoa, legendary beauty!"
"Why would such beautiful ladies come to our village..."
"I've never seen such pretty ladies in my life! And there's two of them!"
Soon after, there was a series of knocks on the door of Puqi Shrine. Xie Lian was puzzled.
"'Legendary Beauty'? Two of them? Why would two legendary beauties come knocking on my door? Ah, could it be? Did that wealthy merchant bring his new wives to come return their gratitude?"
Thinking that this could very well be the case, Xie Lian hurriedly grabbed for the "please donate to help with renovations of this shrine" sign, ready to set it outside. But then, he heard the frosty voice of one of the women.
"What's this thing at the door? Burns the eyes."
Immediately, the voice of another woman came, sounding puzzled. "Maybe it's for guarding the door? No way. There's no reason to sink so low as to use such a vulgar spiritual beast?"
Although they were female voices, Xie Lian had certainly heard them before. It was Wind Master Qingxuan and Earth Master Yi!
At first, he had wanted to open the door immediately. But then, he whipped his head around; he looked at the Hua Cheng behind him, who was lazily cleaning up the altar table. Xie Lian stopped his hands, cautiously peeking out the door through the crack instead.
Outside the door stood two slender and delicate women. One was dressed in white cultivation robes; her lips rosy, her form charming and sensual, with a whisk in her hand and her eyes bright. The other was a black-clad woman, with skin white as snow, brows beautiful and sharp; yet her expression was dark, looking away into the distance, with her hands clenched in fists. That white-robed woman cultivator had a face full of smiles, waving her hands all around.
"Haha, thanks everyone, thank you! No need to compliment so much, no need to make such a show. I'm very troubled with you all like this. That's enough now, thank you. Haha."
Xie Lian: "..."
All around was a large, tightly- knit crowd of beauty-watching villagers. After having seen the beauties, they started pointing and bashing Qi Rong. Qi Rong was displeased, and yelled madly.
"WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKIN' AT! SO WHAT IF THIS ANCESTOR LIKES LYING ON THE GROUND! FUCK OFF! THERE'S NOTHIN' HERE TO SEE!"
The villagers saw how freakily that man behaved, looking maliciously violent with a green face, and dispersed in fright. Shi Qingxuan turned to Qi Rong.
"This...green young master, pray tell: is His Highness the Crown Prince inside the shrine?"
Hearing that woman address Xie Lian as "His Highness the Crown Prince", Qi Rong immediately lost interest in the two beautiful women before him. He clicked his tongue.
"TSK! So you're shitty officials from the Upper Heavens! As if this ancestor is a dog guarding his door. Listen here, I am..."
He hadn't finished before Ming Yi glumly approached, and then there was a wail followed by sounds of smacking. From Xie Lian's position, he couldn't quite see just what Ming Yi was doing. He could only see Shi Qingxuan sweep her whisk, chiding.
"Ming-xiong, it's not good to use violence!"
Ming Yi said coolly, "What's there to be afraid of? Didn't he say he's not a domesticated spiritual beast."
"..."
To prevent Qi Rong from getting beaten to death, Xie Lian had no choice but to open the door.
He raised his hands to stop her.
"My lord! Have mercy! Don't hit him, he's a person!"
Seeing that Xie Lian had opened the door, Ming Yi flipped away her black hem and removed her boot from Qi Rong's back. Shi Qingxuan rushed up and clutched her hands in a curtsy gesture.
"Your Highness, I've come a few days early! What's with that person? He's so full of demonic essence you can't hide it; do you take us for blind? Well, let's talk inside. This time, I've something really important I need your help with..."
As she spoke, she walked around Qi Rong, who was lying on the ground, and crossed over the threshold. Hua Cheng was still inside, so how could Xie Lian dare to let them in?
He cried hastily, "Wait!"
However, it was too late. Puqi Shrine was only so big, and had no places to hide. Immediately, the two saw that, behind Xie Lian's person, there stood a Supreme Ghost King who was in the middle of doing dishes. Four pairs of eyes met; sparks flew. Hua Cheng smiled a smile that showed his teeth. The smile was ominous, and his eyes had no trace of mirth.
In an instant, Ming Yi's pupils shrank, and she backed three feet away. Shi Qingxuan flung out her Wind Master fan, striking an attacking stance, exceedingly alarmed.
"CRIMSON RAIN SOUGHT FLOWER!"
Outside the door, the ashen-faced Qi Rong roared with rage. "AND I'M THE NIGHT-TOURING GREEN LANTERN! HOW COME NONE OF YOU RECOGNIZED ME WHEN BEATING ME, BUT KNEW IT WAS HIM WITH JUST ONE LOOK?!"
Ming Yi had once infiltrated the Ghost City, and spent many years as a spy under Hua Cheng. It was only recently that she had been discovered and captured by Hua Cheng, then locked in a maze dungeon and beaten. To have enemies face each other, their eyes bloodshot, tiny little Puqi Shrine was filled with the scent of venom inside and out. Hua Cheng tossed the rag in his hand, and smirked.
"Lord Earth Master looks lively."
Ming Yi also replied, coldly, "Lord Ghost King also looks leisurely as always."
After having made false perfunctory greetings, the next words that came out of Hua Cheng's mouth were even colder; his expression icy.
"Leave," he warned. "I don't care what important business you have. Do not come anywhere near here again."
Although she feared Hua Cheng, still she refused to back down meekly. Ming Yi responded with a solemn voice, "To come here was not my will!"
The venom was going to turn explosive. Next to them, Xie Lian was growing nervous.
"W-w-what, Lord Wind Master, what should we do?"
Shi Qingxuan knocked her fan on her head a few times and said, "I didn't expect Crimson Rain Sought Flower would be here! Didn't you guys just meet recently? How come you're together again so fast? Anyway, if this can be solved without fists, that'd be good. Violence is bad. If they start fighting, we'll have to hold them back."
"I agree, mostly." Qi Rong was hoping the two would start brawling, and had been listening intently. Just then, he suddenly spoke up: "OHhh—so you're that slutty woman Wind Master???"
Both Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan turned to look at him. That was exactly how Qi Rong had called Shi Qingxuan when he was in his own cave, but even before the person herself he'd dare curse her like this. Xie Lian couldn't tell if it was out of bravery, or lack of mental capability. Shi Qingxuan had always been raised in dignified grace, so this was probably the first time hearing someone curse her in this way. She blinked, looking confused, then turned to Xie Lian.
"Your Highness. Please wait."
Then, she exited the shrine and closed the door. Outside, there was another desperate wail from Qi Rong, and another bout of smacking noises. A moment later, Shi Qingxuan opened the door to come back in; he had returned to his male form.
"Alright, where were we? I'm feeling kind of hungry, too, so how about we all sit down and eat something? There's nothing that can't be negotiated, and nothing that can't be solved, at the dinner table."
"..."
Xie Lian didn't want them to start fighting inside Puqi Shrine, but Hua Cheng seemed to be extremely angry over the whole affair of Ming Yi's infiltration. Without knowing the inside story, it seemed rather impossible to have them sit down and eat agreeably. However, Hua Cheng actually didn't seem to object to the idea. After a frosty moment, the ice on his face cleared away, and he turned back to continue doing dishes. After he was done, he walked to the pot and ladled a full bowl of that Love for All Seasons stew.
Seeing that he backed down first and ceased the battle, the others all sighed a breath of relief.
The next step was to change the subject, and liven up the atmosphere.
So, Shi Qingxuan asked, "Your Highness, what's in that pot? It seems to be still hot?"
"Oh. I made that," Xie Lian said.
That pot had been stewing for a long time; the flavours were completely soaked in, and most of the smell had already dissipated. Although the colour was still questionable, the shapes had all but melted away from the stewing, and it looked much better than it had the night before. Hearing his response, Shi Qingxuan was vibrating with excitement.
"Really? I've never eaten anything made by the hands of heavenly officials! Come come come, let's have a taste."
He grabbed for two sets of cutlery and filled two bowls. To be honest, Xie Lian had wanted to stop him at first. However, Hua Cheng had been so firmly encouraging, burying seeds of confidence within him; plus, earlier that morning, he had changed up the seasoning according to Hua Cheng's suggestions as he heated the stew. So, the thought "maybe I saved it" surfaced in his mind. After some hesitation, he didn't say anything. He secretly watched with hope as Shi Qingxuan passed one of the bowls to Ming Yi.
"Come, Ming-xiong. This one's yours."
Ming Yi took a look at the contents in the bowl. She turned her face away, looking unwilling.
It was a rude gesture. Shi Qingxuan was outraged, and forced the bowl to her, unrelenting.
"EAT! Didn't you say you were hungry earlier on the road?"
Hua Cheng lazily raised a spoonful and blew on it. He brought it to his lips, then swallowed. He smiled at Xie Lian.
"It's definitely lighter today. The flavour's just right."
Xie Lian smiled too. "Really? I added more water today."
Hua Cheng took another bite and smiled happily. "Gege did his best."
With Hua Cheng behaving as though he was tasting some delicious delicacy, it was exceedingly convincing. A moment later, Ming Yi took the bowl after all. Shi Qingxuan smiled.
"That's better!"
And the two spooned a mouthful at the same time, taking a bite.