Arc 2, Chapter 44: My Night Under the Stars

She turned and twisted in bed, pressed her leg against the wall, tried to hug her tail- "Flick!" The bedsheets came undone.

A soft growl escaped her lips as she pushed her feet to readjust the bedsheets, only for the other end to come off. "Ugh," she got up—nightgown drifting, she looked to her watch on the nightstand.

"Midnight…" she got up and readjusted the bed. Once she was done with a satisfied smile, she still had one issue; she could not sleep.

"Hm, Jotou and Asobi are probably up," she creaked open her door—hallway unlit. A slight breeze whisked past her ears, making them hug tightly onto her head.

The light in Fumeko's room off, but… so was Asobi's. The redhead looked down under the door for the elf's usual illusions that would give off a glow. One could only wonder what these two did while she was out to tire themselves so 'early'.

Jotou's door was left ajar as Hotaru walked into the hall… Perhaps it was another day she could sleep well, she hoped. However, the glimmer-light of stars lit the house softly.

Two crimson ears poked up the ladder, two blue eyes following to see blonde hair drifting in a shadow. "If it isn't my knight under the stars," Hotaru uttered into the silent howl of night.

The wind picked up as the blonde turned with her mouth agape before she beamed, the waning moon behind her. "Not tired?"

"I should be the one asking you," Hotaru folded her arms on the roof, stood on the ladder to watch the blonde.

"I'm taking a day off tomorrow; I feel a little burnt out." Jotou faced the sky, "Besides, it's not like I get sleepy at night. I just get more active and have to force myself asleep."

"It's a beautiful night to stargaze; I can see why you like the night."

"Less people, family's asleep and the heat of the Sun doesn't get to my head," Jotou faced the stars… Not the same ones she remembered.

"Everything shines a little brighter, like fireworks waiting to pop," Hotaru gazed.

"Probably why I couldn't get a date," Jotou scoffed.

"I'm sure there's plenty of drunkards and hooligans if you wanted to find dates at this hour."

Jotou shrugged, "At this point," letting out a single chuckle. "What about you? How has your dating life been around here?" Jotou asked, already presuming her answer.

"Dating?" Hotaru raised a brow, "I've never done any of that. Still, I've had my fair share of flirtations and glances coming towards me that gave goosebumps~" she giggled.

Jotou turned to her, not expecting that answer, "Yeah?"

"I'm quite beautiful if you've noticed," Hotaru flattered herself, "I probably had many people drooling over the sight of me," she fluttered her lashes.

Jotou laughed, looking back to the Moon, "I've had my flirting moments… All of them were back when I was in school and I was too oblivious to notice any hints…

So, I stay awake at night, remembering all the flirting attempts with me that were rare but ended up in failure. Hell, I'm probably still bad at it now.

School… I hated it so much; wake up every day, eat breakfast, off to brainwashing to absorb information and vomit it onto exams.

Assignments, homework, yelling parents, expectations, plan your entire future at barely two decades old!" Jotou threw her hands into the open air.

"Like some nine-year-old's dream of being an astronomer was gonna stick with me till fifty," Jotou wrapped her arms around her knees.

"But the night," the brown eyes stared into the void, pitch black and gleaming, "It meant rest… it meant I could play games with my friends.

It meant that I could stay up all night and do whatever I want. That's probably why I like it so much… That child's dream of staying up an entire night; I guess that stuck with me."

Jotou's eyes widened, looking back to Hotaru, "Sorry… I'm rambling."

Hotaru's head rested softly on her hands, shaking her head, "I don't mind listening to you ramble. I can't sleep and I like talking to you."

"That's what they all say. I used to keep repeating this to my friends," Jotou glanced at the sky, "I know they didn't want to hear my depressing speech over and over again…

They did anyway," a little smirk upon her lips, "They try to cheer me up after… I always wanted them to be happy. The way their faces would be gloomy after I said things like that; I didn't like that.

We all need to vent, right? Maybe that's why I did it over and over; because that was my life over and over. I wish I could've made them happy before, well, all of this."

Hotaru tilted her head, staring at Jotou… "May I ask a question then? Something about your old life."

"Go for it."

Hotaru's blue eyes glimmered in the dark, "Is that why you're fighting?" she walked on to the roof, approaching the blonde, "All your determination and everything you're doing here…

Is it all to get back to your old world? Every broken bone, every bled pore? Every failure you're met with; is that what keeps you standing up?" a crinkle in her voice as she stood next to Jotou.

Jotou did not- could not, face Hotaru, "I'm not sure at this point… I have one clue what's at stake and that's all of you. Sure, I wanna see justice brought and I don't want innocents to die…

But I'm not an angel, I'm not some hero. At the end of the day, the reason I keep going is, because why the hell not? I want to see what happened in my old world; I want a way to get back.

But I still want to protect all of you and make sure you're all safe, because you're friends I've made and what I have left. And even then, the reason I keep fighting…

I won't let life drag me down. Because if I just give up, everything anyone said would just be true. I was just some kid who got bullied.

Nobody expected me to amount to anything and the people who did were my parents… But it wasn't support, it was forced on me.

So, I chose my own path. One that would deviate from what my family would want and one that would prove I could amount to something…" the blonde's voice did not waver.

However, her face was crunching, eyes welling up, "Did I really have that freedom? Because life wanted to throw every hurdle at me down that path," her tone now quivered.

"I don't know… At the end of the day, I'm still here, aren't I?" moonlight shimmered the droplets down her cheek, "Did I choose the right path?

What do I even do? I feel so lost even when I know what I'm doing. There's probably someone dying to a velatos right now and I'm crying on a damn roof.

I spent an entire week to swing a sword and I'm still here… Trying to figure out why or what or how… Did I just need my mind turned off?" with a huff she wiped her face with the back of her hand.

Hotaru sat down next to her. "Do you think I'm making the right choices?" Jotou asked her.

Hotaru held her knees within her arms, mimicking Jotou, "I think… you just need to pull yourself together and think it through. Because it's too easy to choose a path to be sad or angry.

Right or wrong is up to you. If you feel the need to vent it all out, I'll be here to listen; all night if I have to."

"Hm," Jotou stared off into the distance, "The Velatos Case will resolve with or without me, won't it? Still, I want to be a part of it… but every time I fail, my hope just," Jotou sighed.

Hotaru glanced to her, "There're many reasons why I still adventure with you. One of them being that I'm contracted and stuck with you," she chuckled as she caught Jotou rolling her eyes.

"The other being… adventure. That means discovering, everything and anything. There's an entire world out there to see and explore; instead of being stuck in one place, doing jobs we may not like, thinking we could change things."

Jotou turned, for the first time facing the redhead under the moonlight as her hair flew behind her, "Change things?" she uttered, "That's why you became a lawyer, isn't it?"

"Mhm. The laws are the same for humans and part-humans, but no one treats it as such, not even officials. I became a lawyer because I wanted to fix things.

I don't know what kind of naïve child's dream I had, thinking if I was the law, I could somehow make everyone be better."

Jotou's eyes darted down, "I'm sorry that didn't work out."

"But seeing you fail, over and over again; knowing you were trying to get back to your old world? It made me realize something."

"That I'm a determined idiot who's stubborn and can't take a hint?"

"That," Hotaru nodded, "And, I can't control everything around me; just me. No matter how much I try to change things, the only thing I can truly change is myself.

More importantly, how I see things around me. You keep wanting to go home, even without, one, possible 'exit' from this world and yet you're so adamant. Why?"

…'Why?'… That thought resonated in Jotou's head. 'Phones maybe? Technology? My friends… if they're still around, but…' "Why leave here is your question, isn't it?" Jotou retorted.

Hotaru smirked, "Smart yet stubborn."

"I guess just because it feels, home?" Jotou shrugged…

"Right. Because you see it that way. You can't see this world as your home because that's what you choose to see.

I kept looking and thinking that every single citizen of Kria saw me as nothing but a monster; that they were judging and watching me. It drove me to manipulate you and Fumeko who were essentially foreigners to get myself into the guild.

However, why can't they be admiring me? Or seeing what I'm holding? Or simply glancing in my direction? My view has always been negative and only I can change that."

'She's not wrong.' "There are those who do look at you like that though," Jotou countered.

"And why should I care?" she gave a chuckle. "Why should I focus on them instead of the positive? I'll only prove them wrong, won't I? Trading hate with hate has no use, I have to accept that.

I have to treat everyone with the same respect; not because I can control their respect for me. If they hate me, so be it," Hotaru affirmed, letting her legs dangle off.

"And I have to accept that I can't get back. Is that what you're getting at?"

Hotaru shifted closer and placed a hand on Jotou's shoulder, "Positives…" she goaded.

'The heck does she mean?' "I guess, no more university? No more abusive parents? There's magic here, a whole new world to explore; places to see, sights and creatures to behold.

If I want to pick up a sword, if I want adventuring gear, if I want to end this case? I can do all that… and have people to care for," Jotou eyed Hotaru.

Jotou and Hotaru blushed… "Cute, but…"

"I have to accept that, this could be my new home…?" Jotou said with a brow cocked. 'Yeah…? Why the hell can't I? I can leave the bullshit in my world behind; there's nothing stopping me!' Something sparked in her mind.

Hotaru smiled, "You don't have to give up on your goal but you can make this world your home too. Fresh and new; you call it reincarnation, don't you?"

"A reset; another shot at life…"

"Make it count," Hotaru's tail wagged, ears spiked up.

"I don't care if people judge me when I'm with friends! It's when I'm alone that I think everyone's judging me; or when I was with my parents…" Jotou leapt up.

"Why should you let them control what you think!?" Hotaru's fangs glistened under the night as she stood up with Jotou.

"I'm reborn in a woman's body in another world; who's alive and with lighting at her fingertips! Her name is Jotou Howllett," Jotou spoke into the night.

Jotou faced the stars; not the same ones she remembered. But… it was a view she could never get in that world.

_

Hotaru descended the ladder, looking up at Jotou who watched the stars with a new-found smile. The wolf-girl's ears fell, "You don't see me in your debt and neither are you in mine then.

You've saved me so many times Jotou Howllett and have asked not much in return; only to help myself and our party, which was my contract."

She stared at the blonde, the way she chose to see her, "You hate being a burden… You're not a burden, you're a blessing. You're not an angel nor are you a hero… but you've saved me.

You've given me what I've dreamt of for years. I will always make you feel wanted here. We'll stand together as friends. I want you as a part of my life; yes—I want to see the world with you.

Let this be my verbal contract to you, Ms Jotou Howllett," with her tail fluttering and ears up, she wiped a leaking tear from her eye, "And the night as my witness."

Meanwhile, Jotou stared at the Moon, "I really like her; I really like all of them… Alrighty, I'll keep fighting—for this world then. Maybe I can see you someday again, huh?

I miss you Daiyu. I miss our stupid talks and existential crises we'd laugh through. I guess talking to Aru beats talking to you, psychopath," Jotou laughed.

"I wonder what you would think of me right now," Jotou pondered. "Who am I kidding, you're just waiting to make a harem joke about my party. Maybe not; I can choose to think not, right? I can hope…"