Arc 2, Chapter 52: Inner Fortitude

"Sorry," Jotou uttered.

Jack gazed over whilst Kor immediately held her up, "Are you alright? You seem a bit pale."

Fumeko moved closer to Jotou, but the blonde waved her hand to them both. "I'm fine, I'm fine… Just a headache. I didn't quite get to sleep and then, well, all of that…"

"We're probably not helping, giving more fusses to that head of yours," Jack relayed.

"Hm, right. All of your troubles you try to push aside. My apologies," Kor stepped back.

Jotou rubbed her forehead, "No need to apologize. I'm the one who called you both," she steadied.

Fumeko gulped her bite, "Enough about the war then," she furrowed her brows to the two standing at the door.

"I will look into the matter directly. If there is some spy or spies within Kria, we would need to quickly expunge them," Jack assured.

Kor took a breath, "Agreed. I'm sure you were just one of their targets… All this office talk bores me. You've been through quite a lot in the past few hours alone."

"This is simply how I usually speak… However, it's not untrue. Your body must be under a lot of stress. Tch… How bold of them to attempt possession of someone with an affinity," Jack shook his head.

"Huh?" Jotou looked to Jack whilst Fumeko took another bite to fill her cheeks. "What does an affinity have to do with anything?"

"Let me put it this way," Jack cleared his throat, "Possession, no matter the method, spirits or magic, has to first break through your willpower.

For one soul to enter a body that already has one, it must win against the soul already in it. The completely off-duty, casual gentleman next to me might be able to explain more thoroughly?"

"This falls under my area I suppose," Kor took over, "An affinity is given to someone by pure chance; it's a natural force that heightens one's mana usage.

People with affinities are few and rare across the world, the fact that there's even this many standing in the same area is an anomaly; the exception being some place like the Ordinate.

An affinity can be equated to a person's ambition. Like it or not, an affinity attaches upon your own emotions and mentality as much as you to said affinity."

"This is hard to prove physically," Jack relayed, "However within your own mind-"

"An affinity is like a boost to your willpower," Jotou took a breath, the sudden migraine dying down a bit.

"Indeed," Jack peered to the blonde's eyes, "However, this doesn't mean you had no part in it…

To have little to no information about spirits and possession, caught by surprise in your own home and to have the amount of rest you seemed to have.

Your own mental fortitude must be commendable at the very least. It's a 'boost' as you call it, not a substitute. If the foundations of a building aren't there, what good is a column to hold up the ceiling?"

"Thanks," Jotou untangled her gaze from him as did he. "I wasn't exactly sure who to call… Magic seemed to be in play, but I guess it's spirits. And the clue about the Regime is at least something…"

"At least is an understatement. We have a potential catalyst for a more brutal war," Kor spoke just as another piece of evidence passed by all of them out the door.

The officer had it in a transparent bag; blood coagulated on the metal of the pan—the murder weapon. "Ah… your pale expression is about 'that' then," Kor figured.

"My reasons for calling Jack in the first place…" Jotou stared as it went all the way to the Krialin wagons. "I thought I'd be arrested by now."

"You were well within your rights to defend yourself. Even in the unlikely scenario that this is fabricated, that fact doesn't change. He may have been acting on his own for all we know.

Even if someone, somehow decides to take this to court, Ms Kinoshita should be able to defend you easily enough given these circumstances," Jack stood up straight.

Jotou looked to where the body was… The last officer in the house left, "You should be good to clean up the area now," gave a thumbs up before leaving.

All of the shattered goggle pieces had been procured and what was left were splatters of blood. Fumeko at the end of her second sandwich.

"It's not your fault and you shouldn't really be holding yourself guilty. Your actions are justified," Kor tried to ease.

Jotou looked back to them both, "I know I'm justified… Death and blood isn't something I'm squeamish about… But… I'm the one who took his life…

Before he died," Jotou tried to recall, through the daze of her memories, "He said something that started with P, trying to continue it with an 'L'.

I didn't let him speak; he was too busy being electrocuted by my spell… If you have other guesses, be my guest, but I'm thinking it was something along the lines of 'Please'…" Jotou crossed her arms.

The other two stood silent, Fumeko chewing slower as her gaze went away from Jotou. "What kind of person am I? What do you think his last thoughts were before I slit his throat with a frying pan…?"

…Jack let out a breath, being the first one to speak. He did not bat an eye, "There are two ways you can go about this. You have killed many things in your path and felt justified, correct?"

Jotou faced him with a narrow glance. "You have taken the lives of velatos and many other creatures considered bounty by the guild," Jack answered for her.

"It doesn't make sense to put one life over the other, does it? You know what you did was right, why does human or animal suddenly differ? They're both living beings.

If you want your life to continue as the Thundering Blade with, some reason, the Regime's eye on you now, you need to realize that you can't win without doing some morally questionable things.

Your second option, is to let this all go. Become a pacifist and continuously regret the decision you have made today and amount to nothing. I personally prefer for you to go with the former," Jack advised with a glare.

"Maybe you could've worded it differently…" Kor scrunched his face, then looked to Jotou, "What he's saying is, in essence, true."

"She's the Thundering Blade, not a child," Jack argued.

'I obviously realize that, doesn't mean I can't feel bad about it.'

"Maybe," Jotou glanced at both of them with daggers in her eyes, "Maybe I could've learned to show some restraint and capture the idiot before I accidentally killed him.

We could've gotten more information. I don't like to keep regrets, but I'm not instantly gonna be okay after something like that. Anyway, have either of you taken a life?"

Kor closed an eye, "No, I can't say I have…"

Fumeko was left with sticky fingers as she stared at her hands.

Jack thought about it, "Indirectly in many ways; how many of my decisions have led to other's deaths?" he shrugged.

"Your ambiguity pisses me off," Jotou's eyes glazed over.

Jack raised his brows, "Whatever to put a spark in your step again."

Realizing the sleeplessness was getting to her, "Sorry… I know how to deal with it; it'll just take some time." 'No need to be a douche to them.'

"Speaking of time," Kor looked to his watch, "I'll need to be in the office soon. Call me if you need anything else; it was nice to even have a chat," he smiled.

"Perhaps next time in a situation less tense. I shall take my leave as well," his expression seemed to lighten, "Don't rush your recovery.

A patrol should be by every other hour of the night. Come talk to me if you need a drink or two, always happy to help. Ms Howllett, Ms Namora; good day," Jack left with a spin.

As the two left, Jotou let out a massive breath. "I shouldn't sleep for now. Maybe a little training might get my mind clearer. What were you munching on detect- Meko? Fumeko?" Jotou searched, twirling around.

Kor boarded his carriage, closing the door. Only then "Uh!" he verbalized, seeing the brunette already in the seat opposing him, "Fumeko? What is it?" his hand on his chest.

Fumeko tilted her head, "What do you mean, what is it?"

"I'm not following…"

"The letter! About the snow in Kria, in June. What? Too much paperwork or something!?"

Kor put his hands up to ease her, "No need for hostility… I assure you, if you sent me a letter, especially for business like that, I would have not in a millennia ignored it."

Fumeko's eyes widened, "You didn't get a letter with my name on it?" she re-asked. Kor shook his head in denial. "Okay… See you some other time," she blinked out of the carriage through the window.

Fumeko appeared at the front of the house, "Fine…" she yawned… "Some sleep, then I'm getting to the bottom of this," she promised herself.

_

Jotou sat in his house, watching as he brewed tea. A question written all over her face after telling him what had occurred, "I know you've been in a war, at least a battle before… Did you think you were in the right or in the wrong?"

Master Tensuo poured her a cup, "There will always be death—always. And you must respect death. Taking someone's life will never be 'easy' as long as you don't abandon your humanity."

He blew the steam, taking a sip, "What is right or wrong is up to you; whether or not you like it, you are the Thundering Blade. The people of Kria see you as one of its protectors; a figure to look to in the news."

Jotou sipped on her tea, sighing more steam into the air.

"I decided to train you because you had that weight on your shoulders. I am proud of your progress so far. You've learned quite quickly as I expected…

However, the true reason I trained you," he glanced at her, "Was so that Kria will prosper. You were and are a sharp blade against the threat of the velatos.

You have a lot of flaws within you and I knew it would be difficult to teach. Choosing to teach you, despite the difficult path, was my choice and mine alone. If I can bring peace to Kria, by training you; then so was my choice.

Not because you were special or to train you to make the perfect choices. You must understand, my decisions had selfish intent as well," Master Tensuo skirted around her question.

"What you do with my guidance, I can only sit and watch… Only time will tell if I can be truly proud. Kria's media and politics aside, your judgement is yours alone.

In that moment of heightened adrenaline—in that moment that needed a quick wit, if your choice was to kill, then who am I to judge your actions?

Killing won't be the end of it all. There's always a choice and there's always another way. I surely hope you can find it. Nobody's choices are perfect after all…"

The last of his words rang in her mind. 'Always another way; always a choice.' The corner of her lip raised a little, "I'll surely try," Jotou replied.