Diary

#Trigger warning : contains mention of thoughts about suicide.#

"Yes my dear! It is me, your lovely Moon Goddess!

Now tell me, how are you? How was your day?"

Nora gazed up at the sky, trying to locate where her Moon Goddess could be, as she had never had seen her, not even once- nobody had!

People believed that she existed, but she didn't talk to anyone anymore. Nora had always been confused about this, after hearing this statement from her father's mouth.

One day, she had finally mustered all her courage and asked the Moon Goddess about the same thing, adding one more question from her side- about why she didn't show her face to her.

To which, she had gotten the reply that she would be the bravest werewolf ever to walk on Earth- all she had to do, was to study hard and practice well; this was why she was Moon Goddess' favourite and she chose to talk to her.

And as for the other question, she only got the reply that she would eventually be able to see her, not right away; but when the time would be suitable.

Not getting any reply from Nora, Moon Goddess prompted again, "Nora! Dear, are you alright? Why are you not replying, kid!?"

Moon Goddess was aware of the situations and even the thoughts going on in the mind of sixteen-year old Nora, but she still asked about everything from her, being aware of the loneliness she was going through.

'Her miseries sometimes made her question her own decision about Nora's fate. Was she really mistaken this time? Because the innocent soul surely didn't deserve any of this.'

She smiled, realising that deities also go through the same doubts even after knowing the past, present and future- because the probable results are ultimately in the hands of mortals; the relative probabilities of both outcomes, good and bad, rested on the path chosen by them.

"Yes Moon Goddess, I am totally okay!" She replied in an extremely cheerful tone.

The Goddess had always adored this habit of hers; the innocent heart of the girl was totally unaware of the fact that she could see everything, and knew about every incident she was trying to hide from her.

But as the deity had been taking care of Nora as a mother, she had also acted like a daughter of hers, by trying to hide everything that had hurt her and not giving her any cause for concern.

"Really?" Moon Goddess asked again.

"Yes Moon Goddess, really." She replied.

"Is there anything you wanted to share with me?" The Goddess gave her another chance to bring up her turbulent thoughts, knowing that it was almost midnight, and she had to return soon.

Nora took a minute to sort out the events of the day with a sieve, deciding what to say and what to omit, and then finally spoke up.

"Moon Goddess, I met three very lovely people today. You know, they were really very kind to me."

She paused as a soft smile appeared on her face and continued, "I had never imagined people with such golden hearts still exist, and that they will also treat me as one of them." She concluded her summary of the good parts of the day, choking on her own voice due to the rush of emotions.

'The poor kid had learned to never expect the other person to treat her with love, care or admiration. The only thing she had heard repeatedly, was that she was useless and she should die- but she was not even able to do that.

Sometimes, she really despised herself because of her cowardice- if she was not even brave enough to kill her own self, how could she be a potential Alpha or be eligible to participate in the troupe fight?

She was actually a curse on her entire pack!'

"Nora..." Moon Goddess nudged her again with her voice, sensing what she had been thinking.

She didn't say anything further, expecting her to reply. When Nora finally responded and focused her attention on her, she spoke up again.

"My child, they are indeed good people- but they only treated you in the way you deserve to be treated. 

Don't you remember what I have taught you? You are born to be a ruler, and the ruler is supposed to be respected by everyone, is that clear?"

"Yes Moon Goddess!" Nora replied, a little hesitantly.

***************

"May I come in, ma'am?" Nora asked hesitantly.

"Of course dear," a lady with an elegant smile answered her.

She stepped in slowly, still scared about the things that had happened till now.

"Are you also going to punish me?" She finally opened her mouth and asked, as the tension was killing her.

"No!? Why would I?" The lady asked, getting confused.

"I don't know, probably because I might have broken some rules today!"

"Oh dear! Absolutely not, I called you here to ask you to fill this form. On the basis of this form, you will be allocated a particular house, that you would be associated with for all the activities and events you shall take part in."

"But aren't I already from the Moon-"

"You are from the lineage of the Moon, and that is based on your bloodline; we can't change that. But how it goes over here, is that the houses would be allocated to you on the basis of your hobbies.

We have three Houses based on that:

'The Creative Commanders'- also known as TCC, are famous for Archery and are skilled in the art of arrow-making. I must say, no house can beat them in these two aspects.

Then we have 'The Swift Swords'- or TSS for short, famous for their excellence in swordsmanship and physical activities. Most of the warriors belong to this group.

Then we have 'The Authority Achievers'- known as TAA. This house really doesn't have much to narrate, most of the kids of this house belong to the book worm category and don't have much interest in anything.

I think you would be opting for TSS, as both your parents were from this house itself."

She explained the system of classification, and placed the papers in front of her.

'Nora was thinking of choosing the third house of course, as she wouldn't have to or be expected to do much over there. And all she was supposed to do, was hold a book and study. That she could easily do!'

She was about to say the name of the house, when the woman spoke up all of a sudden, startling her.

"Oh! My Goodness, I am so sorry Nora, I forgot to introduce myself to you. I am Professor Romera, I will be taking your language classes as well.

And one more thing, you don't have to fill the forms right away, as you still have the time period of one month for hostel allocation."

"Hostel allocation?" Nora repeated her words in slight confusion and shock- both! 

"Yes, hostel allocation. According to the house you choose, the respective hostel will be allocated to you."

"That would mean, I am supposed to live in the hostel from the period of house allocation-"

"Till your final fight, for the probable Alpha of the territory."

"But...isn't that to happen at the age of 21?" She asked again, not quite willing to believe what she was hearing.

"Yes, it is! But because you are younger than all the other competing Alphas, the first fight will happen after you turn 18, after a period of one year and one month! And then we will select two probable Alphas, one among whom will be ruling the territory till you reach the age to claim the territory again, once and for all. But this scenario will only be applicable if you win the first round, of course!"

"Oh okay." Nora was least interested in this topic.

'This was the only reason she had never gotten acceptance from her own father…the pain stabbed her from within, once again.'

Professor Romera looked at the girl, and assuming that she might be afraid, she spoke up ever so softly.

"Nora, child, have you taken a tour of the school campus yet?"

"Ye-N- No!" Nora didn't know what to reply; she didn't want to confess that she had actually taken an unwanted tour, and gotten lost. Could it even be considered a tour?

"Yes or no? Sweetie?" 

"I-I don't know!" 

"You don't know!?" Professor Romera looked at the girl, partially amused and partially worried. 

'She had already noticed the hesitation in the girl's mannerisms, but she had initially assumed that she was awkward due to it being her first day. But when she observed her confusion, it didn't take her long to realise that the young girl's subconscious held the scars of something frightening for her.'

She stood up from her place and patted her head gently, saying, "Don't worry Nora, I will show you around the campus tomorrow, and you can fill this tomorrow as well. Don't be scared, nobody is going to hurt you here."

She waited for a second or two, then added with a smile, "And you can come to me anytime, if you need any help."

Nora looked up and smiled back; she was feeling extremely warm from the inside as this was a completely overwhelming experience for her. The day really contained too much for one day.

She was about to exit, when she encountered a person, but a bit too late! She only came to realise his presence when she completely barged into him.

Panicking again, she drifted to one side, saying, "I am extremely sorry. I didn't see you there."

"Oh! It's totally okay, kid, but wait a minute- why haven't I seen you before? Who are you?" The man asked.

"Ah Darling! Stop, you are frightening her again. She is one of our new students, Nora Rovery, daughter of the Riverine couple and potential Alpha of the Moon pack."

Romera made her introduction in a chirping voice.

"And Nora, meet Adrin. He is my husband. He visits me at work frequently, and is almost familiar with every student here, this is why he was talking in that way previously. He doesn't mean to hu-"

"It's okay, ma'am. In any case, it was my fault. I am sorry once again." 

She said, before Romera could launch into an apology on his behalf, with her eyes downcast.

"Oh no dear, why are you so shy!? Feel free to talk to me, just like you talk to your professors, okay? And let me tell you one thing, I have acquired many Books of Mystery and Magic over the years. We shall go through them, and we can bitch about your teacher as well!"

Adrin spoke with a chuckle, adding, "You  don't have to be afraid of me, you are probably at the age of my daughter- if only I had gotten married earlier! So treat me as your cool uncle. Deal?"

Nora was extremely shy! She didn't say anything at first, but then Adrin prompted her again, seeing that she was lost somewhere.

"Nora! Deal?" 

She nodded her head and hummed; without saying anything more, she dashed out of the room.

***************

Nora recalled all the events from memory, and pulled out her diary to note everything down.

*The day of 6 April, 2014 was the best day of her life till now.*

As she wrote this down, an unknown pleasant thought started budding in her mind.

'Was she going to have more happy days like this? Were there really going to be plenty of her friends, who would listen to her without judging her? Were they also going to accept her like Myron, Romera ma'am and Adrin sir!?'

Happiness is quite a strange thing- once we get the taste of it, we just start to long for more and more. It is this craving that takes you to weird places of your imagination and creates scenarios which never had a snowball's chance in hell of occuring in the first place.

Nora was also dealing with the same emotions- this was the first experience of external happiness for her, when she had gotten recognition as Nora herself- not her father's daughter, not the shame of her pack, just Nora. Myron had told her that she was his family from now on, without caring about her background. 

*Professor Romera had told her that she could come to her whenever she needed something, and also just when she wanted to talk.

Sir Adrin had asked her to treat him as a cool uncle.

She was indeed lucky, and the same school she had been dreading and hating before going there- suddenly, she had grown a tree of love for that place.

Yes, the heartless, emotionless Nora had grown a heart, which could feel happiness now.*

'Moon Goddess had been right from the very beginning, she was indeed very blessed.' She thought, writing the last line in the diary.

Tucking the diary away in its secret hiding spot, she placed her head on the pillow to decide which house she should choose, when she remembered Robin.

'Yes! She would ask Robin- he might look cold from the outside, but he was really soft from the inside. She had chosen to talk to him, because the emotions that lingered on his face, with the expressions of being lost, were making her remember her own condition every moment.

She would definitely talk to him- being David's brother must be a torture on its own.'

She decided, and drifted to sleep.

***************