CHAPTER 47 Lose Control

  [Eli’s POV]

  I sat alone while Thomilson and Allen busied themselves prepping a simple dinner for the soldiers that milled about in the thick snow that still covered the ground. Everything about the scene was normal, but my heart was in turmoil.

  How could I have done something so horrible? How could I have marked Moyra forcibly? What the hell was I doing?

  ‘You were possessed by that demon,’ Dax growled, trying to comfort me. ‘Don’t blame yourself.’

  ‘How can I not?’

  I was supposed to be a leader, an alpha. How did I let my guard down to that extent? I could blame the alcohol. I could blame the heartache of being rejected by the one person who was supposed to choose me above everyone else. Sure, I had all those excuses, but was that really the truth?

  Did I actually want to kill Armon in that moment? Did I want him to disappear because Moyra chose him instead of me? I couldn’t say for sure, but I couldn’t say that wasn’t it.