Memories of the past

"Ugh" I really don't like the fact that I am constantly passing out, when will it stop?

I had no idea that this process will take such a long time. To be honest, I feel a little impatient as of right now because I thought this time, I will surely wake up in a new body.

But lo and behold, I am again in this creepy black space. Nonetheless, maybe I shouldn't complain that much after all, I chose this option.

Yet, I am really interested in what would happen if I decided on another option would I experience the same things or maybe not? Would the process be faster?

No idea, but as I was entertaining myself. The space around me seems to be getting brighter. Until a mix of colors appeared from one specific direction. Then like the water falling from the waterfall they started consuming the darkness in their wake leaving trees, grass, sky, clouds, sun.....

I was looking at the surroundings and was amazed. A black space that was present a moment ago vanished completely leaving a serene scenery of a perfect summer day.

I could feel the heat of the sun, it was quite hot but with a gentle wind that flutters around my skin, it seems like ideal weather.

I looked around and noticed in the distance the big building from which some small kids usually with backpacks on their backs, leaving from it. I myself was in some kind of playground for kids.

'Are kids always so loud?'

I asked myself this question as I tried to ignore their yelling and screaming.

It appears they can't see me. That is my conclusion after one small guy ran through my body like, I was some kinda spirit. But it didn't scare me that much. It's hard to surprise me anymore after all the things, I have been through lately.

But there is a thing that bothers me a bit, at the moment of my appearance here. I have this odd sensation of loneliness. I don't feel lonely but at the same time, I do. This feeling is foreign, I can feel it but it doesn't seem to be mine.

That's weird...

I strode through a playground that was surprisingly big, maybe because it was a school playground. I don't know but this place seems to me to be a school backyard by any means.

Walking around, I notice that this feeling seems to strengthen in one particular direction so I follow it. Still a little confused about why I am even here.

I walked leisurely exiting the playground and moving further. After 2 minutes of walking, I found another playground.

This place is really big with a lot of places to hide. Kids surely have a lot of fun playing hide and seek here. I'm really interested in how teachers manage all the kids here.

I in their spot would surely hide somewhere and then when the teacher would go looking for me I would hop off my hideout and try to camouflage in the group of my classmates. All this time we would be gigging because of how blind she is.

This is actually what I did in the past. But when she was to call somewhere, I thought that is enough and showed myself. She of course wanted to scold me and even call my parent to the school...

But I played the innocent child card and told her that I was all this time here. Which was basically true. My friends from my class confirmed this and I was left off the hook. It was at that time that I got the nickname "a little devil".

I was really proud of it. Doesn't it sound cool?

No?

Well back then I liked it and boast everywhere about it. I even told my parents about it. But they didn't share my enthusiasm and just told me, to not use bad words. They were quite religious parents. So I guess that was a bad world by their book.

I miss these times sometimes.....

Life was easier back then.

Reminiscing my old memories made me a little emotional. So I slapped lightly my cheeks two-time to pull myself together and started moving again.

Now finally arriving at the new playground or maybe I should call it the old one. Because from the looks of it even though it still looks usable it can't compete with what I saw not long ago be it side-wise or quality-wise.

This feeling is really strong here. So, I walked closer and then I saw...

Behind an old tree, was a sandbox with old toys. In it was sitting a small girl playing with them.

She couldn't be any older than ten years old. I thought.

That makes me a little sad. I am not the emotional type of person. But at the same time, my heart isn't made of stone, and in a situation where I additional can feel how she feels.....

Yes, it seems she is a person that radiated loneliness all this time. Now being so close I understand probably why.

Being here all alone she...

I didn't finish my thought because four other kids, two girls, and two boys appeared on a playground and directly head to the place where the lonely girl was playing.

The thing that surprised me was that the boys were holding sticks.

When they finally found her. One of the boys exclaimed.

"We finally found a monster, now we have to kill it"

"Please heroes once you defeat it you will get half of the kingdom and my hand in marriage"

Said one of the girls that couldn't stop giggling after speaking this.

"Don't worry, I defeated stronger demons this will be easy."

Said another boy that tried to make what I can only assume are "handsome poses" with his imaginary sword.

After that two girls giggled shyly.

Trying not to cringe at their words at that time seems impossible and even though it hurts my brain to watch this. I need to see what will happen because the "monster" they speak of all this time seems to be trying to ignore them.

Outside she didn't seem to be touched by their words. But in reality, I can feel how sad she is whenever they call her using these names.

Children can really be sometimes cruel. They don't realize that a couple of words can really hurt someone. For them, it is just a funny play that they will probably forget after a week.

For this lonely girl. Well, it wouldn't be strange if she couldn't forget about it at all.

I just hope they wouldn't hurt her. That would be...

"This is the end of you red-eyed monster prepare for your end!"

Shouted one of the boys now coming dangerously close to the poor girl with his friend, swishing his weapon in all directions.

Behind them, two girls were cheering for their victory.

I could feel the despair that girl was holding up and self-blame that she was born like that. She just wanted to be normal. Look like everyone else...

Suddenly she got up from the ground and run away. I ran after her.

The boys were shouting something in the distance but she was much faster than them and lost them not long after.

But she keeps running until she came to a small grove that was close to the walls that signaled the end of the backyard.

She took a couple of fast breaths to calm herself and walked through the woods. After a moment she found one of the bigger trees with a tree house on it.

She climbed on it. It wasn't that high and only then in a place where no one could hear or see her.

She cried....

I was again in complete darkness. Not long after the girl started crying. The world around me started to be having cracks. There appeared more and more of them, finally like broken glass. They shattered into thousands of pieces and darkness engulfed me again.

But that gives me a moment to think.

I actually have this weird habit of analyzing everything. Well, that is probably because I was the Team Leader of own my unit in the past. So I am quite used to it.

When I first saw this girl, I automatically tried to think why she is there.

Then when the other kids came to her. I thought that she was getting bullied and because of it, she is trying to distance herself from the other kids.

But I couldn't really get why they call her "monster". Looking at her at that time she seems completely normal. She wasn't overweight nor ugly, I would even call her more adorable than these two giggling girls.

So, I was pretty confused about it until one of the boys called her a " red-eyed monster"

Then I realized it, all the kids here even the teachers that I saw. Had blue eyes and white hair.

But this girl even though had the same hair color had red eyes...

So that's probably the reason they bully her. But in the end that is just my speculation because I don't know the entirety of the situation and I can be wrong.

The other question is: 'where I am and what is going on?'

But I will leave the answer to this question for another time. Because honestly, I am not so sure. I have this nagging feeling that's hard to describe. That just tells me that things are really simple considering my circumstances.

However, that would mean accepting a fact that I just don't want to accept.

I'm a kinda convenient person. For example, I would prefer if someone lied to me with something easy to accept than telling me the bitter truth.

This is my recipe to have a happy life.

'So I will hold up with it for the time being.'

I said to myself as I looked at the new scenery that just appeared before me.

And with confident steps, I went to look for her...