Chapter 351

"How long do you think it will take for copies to make it all over the Theocracy?" Nua asked after the messenger left with the bundle of papers.

They were alone in the inn, only a day or two from Arwintar after taking relays of horses to make up for lost time, and as with the other places of residence, this was the finest room available, complete with a workspace and even a small stock of wine bottles.

Nua was seated at the table, her ears twitched uncomfortably, her fingers picked at the smooth varnished wood while Raymond dealt with the messenger and sent him on his way.

"I don't know. If they use magic to make copies and leave at the same time… a few months? Maybe less. But," he straightened with his arms at his sides and bowed deep at the waist so that he was looking straight down at the floor, "thank you for letting me use your story. That can't have been easy."

Nua looked away when he bowed to her, the bed lay on the far center of the room, large and comfortable looking, her own was in the room beside his, she averted her gaze to look at the wall between her room and his. "It wasn't… but if you're willing to risk yourself, your reputation, maybe your life, so am I. It's hard to believe any human would do that for us… even the good ones… they might help one of my people, but to dare to challenge the totality of Theocracy Doctrine?" She finally looked at him, and she had to laugh, "You must be insane."

She stopped laughing when he winced at the noise and took a step back, his hurt look was almost childish, but she had no doubt it was genuine. "We need that kind of madness, maybe if we had more of it, things would go to shit less often. So… what now? When we get to Arwintar, do you look for Zesshi?"

"I don't know… how do I make amends to her… how do I make this right? How do I make anything right?" Raymond asked.

Nua picked at the table some more, bits of the thick varnish got stuck under her fingernail and she pulled her hand away to pick the crinkled stuff free. "You say that like I know? This is nerve racking enough as it is. When my story makes the rounds over the Theocracy, I'll be lambasted as either deserving everything I got for being a sinful elf who didn't know her place, or a slutty elf who wanted what I got, or a snake of an opportunist out to increase my own status by playing the poor pathetic victim. I'm going to be the most hated woman in the Theocracy, and I have no doubt that I'll have more targets on me than an archery range."

"None of that is true about you though… you know that, I know that…" Raymond said and approached her, he held out his hand to allow her to take it, but she didn't, and he slowly let it fall away to lie awkwardly at his side.

"Do you really think this will be effective? Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, maybe you could have just used some arguments or-" She sighed and went back to picking at the table with her finger.

"A story convinces more people than any argument… it's true that a lot of people will say terrible things… and there is some risk, but there are enough examples around them… at least in the cities, that people will start talking. The underground plays will spread it, and maybe, just maybe… we can start to shake things up." Raymond said with the hopeful trace of a smile on his face.

"Just to be clear… you're not doing this just over Zesshi, are you?" Nua asked, "I'm not saying I think you are, but you can't blame me for asking."

Raymond sat down at the table across from her, looked her in the eyes, and said, "No. I won't lie to you, won't tell you this isn't part of my thinking. She's precious to me, and I overlooked her elven side, in part because she wanted me to, and in part because I wanted to. But this is about more than her, a great deal more."

"I can't believe I'm saying this but… I'll take your word for it." Nua said and stood up, she looked toward the closed door. "I'm going to my room, this has been a long day and I'm tired, I want to sleep."

She rose to her feet and the familiar chill came over her until he said gently, "Goodnight, Nua. I'll see you in the morning."

She walked to the door with her head held high and though she could feel his eyes follow her, she never broke her pace and never hesitated. She opened the door, closed it behind her when she passed beyond the threshold, and left him behind.

'It won't be that long before it won't be safe for either of us to be alone at night… when all those letters reach various places… still,' she thought as she closed and locked the door behind her as she peeled off her clothing, 'I think he's overthinking how effective it will be. No matter how vividly I describe the pain, no matter how I talk about a wounded heart, or despair, or the things I saw, most humans will just dismiss it and say, 'it's only an elf.' but then again… I've been wrong before?' Nua thought and pulled down the sheets to climb into bed. She lay on her stomach and brought the pillow under her cheek.

And with that, she fell into a deep and dreamless slumber.

When morning came she made herself ready, binding her hair into a braid behind her back, and briefly, as had become her habit, took a lingering look at her ears in the mirror. Whole and intact, it was a miraculous thing, her fingers traced over them just once, and she wiggled them up and down just to watch them move.

Then she was gone, breezing to Raymond's room and knocking on the door. "Here." He shouted through the barrier, and she turned the knob to find it open as it always was.

"You're going to have to get into the habit of locking that, Raymond." Nua told him in no uncertain terms. "If you want to play with fire, I'm certainly not going to stop you, but part of my…" She paused and pursed her lips, her eyes became like steel before they softened toward him, "purchase reason, was to act as a bodyguard for you. How was it he put it…" Nua looked away and in her best imitation of Dominic's smooth voice she said, "So you can read, write, mix potions, order a house, and take a hit… and," she shook it off, "it doesn't matter what else he said. The point is you're going to start making things harder on me if you stay reckless."

"I suppose." Raymond grumbled. "Now why don't we go down for breakfast at least…" He said and made to stand up.

"Absolutely not." Nua said and sharply shook her head. "I took the liberty of ordering breakfast for you when I checked us in. We'll eat here where I can keep an eye on you, and 'then' we'll leave."

Raymond did a brief double take and intuitively sat back down. "But, I like being out in public."

"And I like you- I like you being alive." Nua said and cleared her throat, she put her hands on her hips, "I swear, I think half the reason the human lifespan is so low is because you all have death wishes."

Raymond rolled his eyes, "Half the reason I was so eager to go on this trip was to avoid all the old protocols, I thought it would be like being in the field on missions again, not like a damn prison." He said back to her with exasperation, their sighs came at the same moment, and the laughter did as well.

When it finally died, Nua went and pulled the chair out for him and pointed to it. "Sit."

"You're enjoying this." Raymond accused her lightly.

"Many years ago I ran the household of one of my masters, and they relied on me for many things. I ordered their servants, ensured their books were kept, and even taught their son how to make potions so that he could one day become a great magic caster. Other than matters of politics and faith, I was closely listened to and could speak my mind. I was actually happy there, it felt like I was treated like a person. I suppose this is kind of like that, so yes… yes, I am enjoying it." Nua said and pushed the chair in as Raymond did as she said.

"So, what happened?" Raymond asked, and Nua's energetic face fell.

"It ended badly. That's how those stories always end." Nua said and left him to go to the door, she opened it to find a servant bearing a silver tray, his hand up and ready to knock.

"Thank you." She said, took the tray, backed up, and closed the door before the young man could say anything. She returned to the table, set the tray down, and removed the silver covering to set it aside.

On the tray was some simple mealed oats, a small pitcher of milk with a cup, a cup of tea with sugar cubes stacked in a porcelain bowl. A portion of eggs with two slices of bread with a pat of cream colored butter.

"And your food?" Raymond asked pointedly.

Nua looked at him dumbly.

"What?" He pressed.

"I have eaten with you all of once. Why are you asking me now?" Nua asked of him with a hand on one hip while the other rubbed her forehead.

"It just occurred to me that you could eat with me?" He said with a casual sort of air, taking his eyes away from the meal while still reaching for the bread.

"Raymond… you… I think you are a good man." Nua said and put her hands behind her back, she straightened and put her feet apart, her pose, in Raymond's mind, would have made a scripture member proud. "I think you played a bad one, and just didn't know it. I think, I think you don't look at me the way your people, your gods, say you're supposed to any longer. But this?" She moved one hand back and forth, pointing between him and herself, "No. You tried to mutilate me… I know it was you who stopped you, that you couldn't go forward with it… but it will be a long time before I can sit and eat with you as if we're friends. So please, if what I want really matters, don't press me to do anything I'm not already doing."

Raymond pursed his lips. "I'm sorry." He said after a moment and looked down at his meal. His appetite was gone.

"I can forgive you, I do. But that doesn't mean I can forget, or be comfortable with anything other than what we have to do, not for quite some time, and maybe never, I just don't know. If that's a problem…"

"It's not. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." He answered her and said nothing more.

Nua let the moment hang, unsure if he had more to add, then said, "Thank you… I mean that. I'll eat on the road, finish your breakfast and we can be off." She perked up, "I have to admit, I'm looking forward to seeing the arena in Arwintar."

Raymond took one bite of his bread, chewed, and swallowed, then set it down. "I think I'm done. My appetite is gone." He said.

"Eat." Nua said.

"But-" He started to object.

"Raymond. Eat." She said more emphatically. "If you really plan on taking on the world… do so on a full stomach at least." She said more softly, "I don't mean to sound cruel, if that hurt or ruined your appetite… it's just that there's a lot now, things for me to… to deal with. I appreciate the spirit of your offer, and you need food whether I accompany it or not. So eat."

"You really did run a household, I swear." He got some of his humor back and chortled a little before reluctantly finishing his food, though whatever flavor it had, he experienced none of it.

"Drink the milk." Nua instructed.

"I don't like milk." Raymond returned back at her with a mistrustful glare as she poured a cup and held it out.

"It won't be long before I'm going to have to start taste testing everything to make sure you're not poisoned. I happen to like milk, and if you don't drink it, I won't get any." Nua pointed out.

"I could just buy it for you, you know." Raymond suggested, still giving the milk a baleful look.

"That sounds like a gift… permit me to refuse. There was one once, he was fond of gifts, but they were never given with a good heart… given that I am not a free woman… not until I can be sure I won't be hunted at least, I'd rather not. So drink your milk." Nua pointed at it again.

Raymond picked it up and began to drink, then stopped. "Wait, poison?" He asked, "You don't really think anyone would-? You do. You do think that." He said when he beheld her drawn, grave expression.

"I do. Even if your friends wouldn't, it's a big country, merchants, the big latifundias are not going to like anyone threatening their business. And you're a former Black Scripture. But you are also human, and you can die. You know as well as I do that there are no magic items that can protect against every poison, and I'll bet it's not hard to find out what ones you use. So, in a few weeks I'll start tasting your food." Nua crossed her arms in front of her chest and gave him a long, lingering look down her nose, almost daring him to argue.

"But you could die." Raymond said as if it weren't obvious while he, with some reluctance, drank the foul white stuff he loathed.

"You can replace me." She said, and that gave him pause.

"You don't mean that." He said as he pushed the empty cup away.

"Of course I do. Just buy another. Or just 'hire' an orphan… in as much as what you did to get those three constitutes 'hiring' that is. It doesn't matter. So what?" She asked while they walked to the door.

"So… I'd rather you not die?" He said, his pitch going up a little as if it were a question.

"Me too, but you're a Theocracy Cardinal, one who might actually do some good for once. I'll work to keep you alive even if it kills me, if that's what it takes to end the nightmare of your country." Nua declared with a resolve that left no room for argument, and Raymond gave up.