6

I wake up to hear my alarm going off. I open my eyes and sit up. I nearly scream when I look out the window. There is a freak in a red and blue costume with a spider on his chest. He is hanging upside down. "What the fuck!?" I scream. I storm over to the window and slide it up. "Miss Jones, I mean Jessica. Do you have a minute?" The creep has a familiar voice. "Kid? Is that you?" I ask. The creep nods. It's that fucking child. "What the fuck do you want?" I say harshly. "Just meet us at the Sanctum Sanctorum," He says. "The what?" I ask. "The place we were at the other day," The kid says. "Fine," I grumble. "See you there," Peter says in a surprisingly chipper voice. I groan, one. I really didn't think this would be on my to do list today. I really didn't. I just want one day where I don't have to deal with costumed weirdos.

The Sanctum Sanctorum is a hard walk when you just want to stay home. I mumble curses under my breath the entire time. I wish I was drinking right now. It would be a welcome relief from all this superhero shit. "Fuck," I mutter just as I pass a family. I smile and say, "They're gonna learn it anyways." The parents scowl at me. I continue smile sweetly as I pass them. "Pricks," I mutter as I drop my smile.

My phone buzzes. I pull it out of my pocket and look at the cracked screen. Trish has been telling me that she will pay for a new phone or at least to get the screen fixed. There is a number I don't recognize with a message. "The meeting is where you were yesterday." The text reads. Who could it be? I added everyone yesterday, not that I exactly wanted to. I rush the last block and walk to the building and throw open the doors. "I'm here! Who the hell texted me?" I bark. "Uh, I did," A dark haired girl with glasses says. She is sitting at a table next to a tall man with long blond hair. He is dressed like he is on his way to a Renaissance Fair. Even more than the good doctor. He wears a red cape and all. He is holding an axe thing with a hammer on the other end. I honestly can't stop staring at him because he is extremely hot. I tear away my gaze.

"Who the fuck are you?" I ask to the dark haired girl. "I'm Darcy Lewis," She says. "This is Thor," Doctor Strange says as he walks in. "Why are there so many more people here today?" I ask. There are really too many people for me to keep track of at this point. I swear it is like some sort of mash up of every singer in existence joining in for an entire album. "We don't know exactly how great the threat is," Doctor Strange says. "Actually we do know. We know exactly how great the threat is," I hear The Scarlet Witch's Sokovian accented voice behind me. "Oh, yeah. She came over yesterday and mentioned some witch," I say. "Agatha Harkness," Wanda says. "Who?" The kid says as he walks in. Wanda goes into a long ass biography of who this dumb bitch is.

"So an ancient witch has Mr. Stark?" Peter asks. Wanda makes a sound of confirmation. "We are not completely sure though," Wong says. "It's our best guess," Wanda says. "What the fuck are we going to do about a witch who can absorb other witch's powers?" I ask. "We have more than just magic," Peter says. "What? Webs and hammers?" I ask. "And super strength," Peter inputs. "Like strength is going to take down a literal witch," I say sarcastically. Thor looks at me. "Do you have powers too then?" He asks. He has a thick accent. "You weren't briefed? Apparently everyone else knows that I have powers except you," I say. "And me," Darcy says. I glare at her. "And what exactly do you do?" I ask. Darcy looks at me and opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off and move on. "So we are going to fight an ancient witch with Thor's battle ax, Spider-boy's webs, and my strength? Am I getting that right? Am I missing anything?" I ask with my voice overflowing with sarcasm. "Miss Jones," Thor says, walking up to me. He puts his hand out to touch my shoulder. "It's Jessica," I say. I quickly take his arm and flip him over my shoulder so he slams heavily into the floor, cracking it. "Holy shit!" Peter cries out. "Jesus!" Darcy cries at the same time. "What the hell?" Thor asks after a few moments. "Don't fucking touch me, Goldilocks," I say sharply to the man that now rests on the floor. Thor stands up. "You dare throw The God of Thunder?" He asks in royal sounding voice. "Oh, you want me to not throw you?" I say sarcastically. My sarcasm button is really going off today. Thor is close enough for me to punch him. I look at him dead in the eye and punch him square in the chest. He flies back and hits the wall, cracking the wall. "Jessica!" Stephen cries out. Thor grunts as he picks himself up. "What the hell is you issue?" He asks. "You. Complaining and trying to touch me," I say. I crack my knuckles. "You are strong," Darcy says. "I know I am," I say. "You just threw a god," Peter says. "I can't be the first human to throw a so called 'god'," I say. Thor opens his mouth to talk but he doesn't. I groan, one. "So what are our plans?" I ask, eagerly wanting to move this circus along as fast as possible. "We don't really have a plan, so to speak," Darcy says. "Then what the fuck am I doing here?" I ask sharply. "I came her because I thought we had a plan so I can be done with this shit," I scream. "Jessica we really are trying to finish this job," Wanda says. "Why can't you do it yourself? You're a witch, surely you can just beat her," I say. "We need as much help as possible so we have more of a chance to save Tony," Darcy says. "Stark normally doesn't need our help, why does he now?" Thor asks. "Yeah, what he said," I say. "Thor, this is really something we have little information about. Tony doesn't have any knowledge of how to fight a witch," Wanda says. The heroes continue to have a discussion about how if Tony Stark can or can't save himself from any situation. I really don't belong in this conversation and I really don't know why the hell I am here in the first place.

I start to walk to the door. "Jessica, don't go," Stephen calls. "Why do you need me anyways? I'm sure that you can save him yourselves, Earth's Mightiest Heroes," I say. "Tony is kind of one of the strongest members of the Avengers," Darcy says. "I'm sure that Captain America can help here," I say. "I mean he has the same powers as me pretty much." Stephen shakes his head. "He doesn't have your detective skills," He says. "Jessica, we really need you," Wanda says. "We need a detective," Wong says.

I feel like this entire room is depending on me. So I say the only thing I can think to say, the only possible thing to say in this fucking situation. I sigh audibly and I say, "Fine, I'll do it."