Arsonist for Hire

Laughing, Rachel continues down her friend's drive. She glances over her shoulder and shakes her head. " What a bunch of cowards." She chuckles again.

"What's so funny?" Joe asks as she climbs into the car.

"Everyone was standing on furniture screaming for help because of a little wolf spider." She holds up her hand to show him the size. "A baby one at that."

"That's too funny," Joe chuckles, locking his seatbelt.

"What's even funnier is Jeff screams like a little girl at the mere mention of a bug. Pulling the shoulder harness over, she follows suit.

"I suppose you tested out your theory?" Joe snickers, knowing darn well she did. Rachel is the queen of practical jokes, second only to him.

A hint of orneriness dances in her eyes. She chuckles and says, "You know it."

Joe pictures the stout man in his mind. He then recalls Jeff's gallant attitude all through school. How irritating it could be at times."Guess I would've too." Joe laughs again. Starting the car, Joe turns and asks, "Where are we headed?"

"I've been thinking, Joe."

A look of astonishment crosses Joe's face. He turns and says, "Miracles do happen."

"You're living proof."

Joe's eye's widened when he smiled and asked, "How's that?"

"You can walk and talk with a brain no bigger than a pea."

"You're learning, grasshopper." He snickers.

"How can I not? Listening to you and Jerry all day."

He chuckles again. "You're learning from the best, you know."

"Jerry is quick with his jeers."

"I was talking about me."

She pats Joe on the arm. In a condescending tone, she says, "You'll get the hang of it."

Joe mumbles under his breath.

"I'm on a roll today."

"Yeah, yeah."

She titters. Stifling the humor, she says, "I was thinking, Joe, that maybe the witness made a mistake when they described the car. Witness statements aren't always reliable, you know, and poor visibility caused by the storm might add to their inaccuracy."

"That's possible, I suppose."

"Who's to say the car isn't stolen? I mean, any criminal with half a brain wouldn't use their car for a crime, would they? You're just asking to get caught if you do. Especially in a small town and in a busy place like Walmart. The thief might as well turn themselves in."

Smiling, Joe shakes his head. She's so adorable when she's trying to make a point. He thinks as she continues to ramble on.

"I think we should head to the station and compile a list of stolen cars within the last week or so, see what we can find. I also think we should check the area's traffic cams to get a better ID." She looks over to find Joe smiling at her. "What?" She asks, self-consciously shifting in her seat.

"Nothing." He chuckles.

"Don't give me that. You've found something I've said funny."

"It's not what you said. It's the way you said it."

"How did I say it?"

"I can't explain it. It's just cute how you do it, ok?"

"So now you think I'm cute." Realizing what she said, Rachel squirms again. "I mean, the way I explain things is cute," she corrects, adjusting her clothes. She's had feelings for him for a while, but he's also a dear family friend. She didn't want to risk losing a lifelong friendship for a romantic encounter that may or may not work out. Besides, she wasn't sure he felt the same way.

"It's the way you explain things."

"How's that?"

"You're like a little whirlwind spewing out all the facts."

"I'm just telling you how I see it."

"And you're theory is probably correct."

She opens her mouth to argue, then closes it when she realizes he's agreed. "Oh." She turns to face the road.

Of course, I think you're cute. I have for a long time, but how can you have romantic feelings for me? I'm not as sophisticated as your previous suiters. Nor will I ever be.

***

I wonder what he wants me to do this time, Jeff thinks, pulling out of the drive. I hope it's nothing outrageous like robbing a bank or a store. What if he wants me to steal another car? God, I hope not. I don't think my stomach can handle outrunning the cops again. Millions of thoughts run through his mind as he continues out of town. Each notion is more horrific than the last. I wish I could just grab my family and run. Jeff has been contemplating this idea since this escapade first began, hoping he can figure out a way to make it work. No matter how he changes the scenario, the outcome is always the same. "He's found us once, and he'll do it again. Jeff concludes, pushing the thought from his mind. He thought about doing away with Bambini but figured one of his goons would want revenge. How could Jeff keep his family safe, not knowing who was coming after them?

He finds Luigi parked at the far end of the lot when he pulls into the empty lot. The sooner I get this over with, the better, he thinks, pulling up beside the thug.

"Did you see any demonic spiders on your way over?" Luigi laughs.

Jeff's face turns red. "You saw that did you?"

"I thought your little performance was hilarious. The boss did too. He nearly fell out of his seat laughing. Said who needs comedy tv when he has you?"

"So what does he want me to do?" Jeff asks, hoping to derail further humiliation.

"Tonight, you'll have a little fun destroying property."

"What property?" Jeff asks, nervously glancing around.

Luigi gestures behind him. "The bowling alley."

"I...I can't destroy their business," he argues, nervously shifting his stance.

"And why not?"

"The owners are our family."

"Guess you have to choose between your distant family or your wife and kids." Luigi pulls his cell from his pocket, looks up at Jeff, and says, "You have three seconds to decide."

Jeff eyes the building one last time. He gulps and says, "Ok, I'll do it."

"I thought you might change your mind." Grabbing a gas can from his trunk, Luigi hands it to him. "This will make the job go a lot quicker. You're going to need these too." Luigi gives him a book of matches.

Jeff glances at the items in his hand in disbelief. "You want me to burn the place down?"

"It's what Bambini wants you to do."

"But I..." Luigi reaches into his pocket again.

"Ok, ok, I'll do it." Jeff's heart shatters as he plods toward the back. I'm sorry I have to do this. I am, he thinks, gulping back tears threatening to escape He first pictures the devastation on his cousin's face when they discover what he did. It took them nearly twenty years to get the business to where it is today, he thinks, remembering all the struggles they had to face.

A frightened alley cat jumps out of the garbage. The metal container tumbles to the ground, scattering trash all around. Jeff jumps back as he screams. The angry cat turns to face him, hisses, and then darts away.

"You're not the only one who didn't finish dinner tonight," he yells, continuing around the structures.

He'd just reached the far corner when police sirens began to scream. He glances up to find red and blue lights blazing across the dark, cloudy skies.