NIGHTMARES/MEMORY!

It's been two weeks since everything happened, ever since then I've been having nightmares. And it's always the same thing over and over.

I'm back in that same hotel room with that woman in the red dress. And my heart's beating so fast as if it want to explode. Then she pushes me on the bed, and I get chills all over my body. And that voice the same voice, the one telling me to (RUN AWAY). The she rips my shirt, and cuts my chest and her hand and sets it on my chest. Then I feel this pain, and it's so terrible im in agony. I scream for someone to help, but there's no one. Then she turns to Ashe's before my very eyes. And I wake up screaming in pain.

Ever since then I can't go anywhere, I've suddenly become extremely strong. I keep destroying my house, breaking stuff on accident. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I keep thinking if I hadn't met that woman, none of this would be happening to me.

Can I ever be around normal people again. Can I go on walks, hang out with my family and friends. I feel so horrible, they've been trying to reach out to me even since then. But I just can't seen to answer they're calls or texts. They would just ask questions that I don't want to answer. Question that are too painful, question that make me remember. Everytime I'm in pain or remember what that woman did to me, I just feel this urge to kill. It's like I get this bloodlust, and I want to murder anyone or anything around me. Which is why I can't be around the people that I care about. I'm terrified I might hurt or worse kill one of them. And just thinking about it breaks my heart. There's no avoiding or denying it my a monster, and I think I've always been one. But that woman made me realize it.

She died after she made me like this, but why me? What's so special about me? Why did she die do make me like this? No I'm not special at all, it's just that she must have been suffering. Maybe she was too tired and weak to go on like this. So she made me take her place.