12- The Singer Girlfriend

When I was younger people always told me that I was too smart for my age.

I thought it was normal that everybody feels the same thing that I feel, that everyone is as determined as I am but I was wrong.

When I lost my parents things went wrong for me. I had nothing. No relation that I know of, I was alone.

I've never thought that I would make out a career as a singer. I've never thought of it before. It is simply something I do for fun, I cover other people's songs and sing them. I have never picked a pen to write a song before but when I met GY everything changed for me.

When I started training under GY all alone I was lonely, there were times I thought about giving up and just killing myself but when I remember how badly I was treated on the streets, I had the inspiration to continue.

Then I went and introduce Scott to GY when Scott finally joined me in training I wasn't lonely anymore because I have my childhood friend with me.

Then Marcel and Danny joined as well.

Then SHAKE was formed.

My sixteen years of career wasn't easy.

From haters who wish me all types of bad luck and fans who love me to death.

For my fans I tried as much as I could to write and produce good music for them, to thank them for always being loving and supportive of us.

Standing here again at this award show I couldn't help but think back to the first time we came here.

We were so excited, so happy.

Even after years of taking our first Grammy win, I still appreciate the fact that our hard work is still being recognized.

"Bro, let's take our seats," Marcel said and took my hand as we walk towards our seats.

I let him drag me to our seat and we sat down.

We sat there for some time before leaving backstage to get ready for our performance.

It wasn't easy for us but I believed that we can do it.

After our two performances, we went back to sit down among the other artists there.

Time to give out awards came.

I was nervous.

If we lose these awards I wasn't mentally ready for the hate I would get.

People tend to channel all their hate towards me when things aren't going the way they wanted it to, when a song flops I take the blame because they know that I wrote it and I produced it and when a song is a hit I get praised for it.

It just goes around the circle and I know that there are times that I'm going to get criticized and hated for my music because not everybody will feel like it is good enough for them, but I know that there are some people out there who truly appreciate what I produce.

"Here are the nominees for the song of the year award." The presenter announced.

I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer like I always did before opening them back up.

"And the award for the song of the year at the 56th Grammy goes to..."

Just say the damn thing and stop making me nervous.

"SHAKE! Congratulations guys."

When the announcement was made everyone around us why clapping for us I smiled and stood up from my chair and so was the rest of my members as we walk towards the stage to take our award.

I took the award from the presenter and stood before the microphone to make a speech.

"Humm, good evening everyone this is Hardin the leader of SHAKE, I want to use this opportunity to thank God for leading us to where we are today I could never have imagined that we would be on this stage taking home our 6th Grammy award. Thank you to our fans all over the world. Thank you to all the music lovers all over the world. Our 16th anniversary is coming soon and I want to say thank you for staying with us. I love you."

*******

After the award show where we won two awards for the night, we lodged in a hotel, including the staff that came to Los Angeles with us.

I was tired after the hectic schedule we had today and was getting ready to get some sleep when my phone started ringing.

I went to grab my phone and noticed that it was Kandy calling.

Kandy was the type of girl that feels on top of the world.

When Kandy debuted as a singer under GY Entertainment, I was her mentor. I was the mentor of all the group members.

She knew some things about me, things that you can see on Google. It wasn't a secret.

I have never felt so comfortable with telling her what I desire the most . My relationship with Kandy has always been on and off, our relationship is that which people call a toxic relationship.

We don't agree with a lot of things but we still go back to each other.

What could be so attractive about her that I can't ignore?

Probably because she is a singer just like me or it's may be because she is the type of woman that I want in my life.

Kandy is smart, she is a good singer and she is someone who can make decisions on her own, those traits made her very toxic they are the type of characteristics I want in my woman.

I have always known that I will not be able to date a woman who isn't in the same industry as I am, the relationship will not just work.

My schedules are very tight. I work every day and when I'm not performing, I am in award shows with my members or in my studio, writing and producing, or in the gym, so having time for a woman who is probably a government worker or stuff like that it's going to be very hard which is why I stick into dating women who are in the same industry as I am.

"Congratulations baby I watched the award show, you were so good," Kandy said.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"We just got to Japan a few hours ago I can't wait for our performance together, it is going to be record-breaking."

it is not going to be record-breaking because I'm going to perform with Kandy, everything I touch is record-breaking.

"Can we speak tomorrow I was just about to go to bed before you called?" I said and was just about to hang up before her words stopped me.

"Are we good, Hardin? you have been gone for about 3 weeks now and you have not tried to call me even once, are we okay?" She questioned.

I have been trying to make it work out with Kandy, I have dated a few handfuls of women in this industry, but most of them are just very clingy and arrogant for my liking.

Every time I break up with a woman it makes headlines and every single time the media paint me as the bad guy.

I was trying to make I work out with Kandy because I was tired, tired of the unnecessary hate that I get, sometimes the hate overshadow the love which was depressing to me.

I didn't want the controversy I got the other times over this matter again.

"Why would you ask me that? "

"I just feel like you're drifting away from me." She affirmed.

I sighed and rubbed my hand down my face.

"My members and I have been on our world tour for the weeks now but you couldn't call to know how I was doing, you were waiting for me to call you first, how selfish can you get, Kandy?" I asked angrily.

I was so pissed off.

This wasn't how I wanted this conversation to go.

"You know what? I'll see you tomorrow." I told her and hung up the phone.

I dropped the phone in the nightstand drawer and closed my eyes.

Waiting for that when I would be willing to share my time with anyone, but as of now... No one deserves it from me.

My head hurts already.

I hate this.

****

"Did you have a fight with Kandy she was calling me non-stop last night and I couldn't just help but switch off my phone I needed some sleep?" Scott asked me on our way to the airport.

I should have known she would call Scott.

She and the other two don't get along well.

"I just needed some space but of course, this is Kandy we are talking about, she doesn't understand the word 'no'." I retorted and grabbed my Chanel bag from the ground.

"After this tour, I'm going to treat y'all out to a wonderful party, you guys are boring old men," Danny said and Scott flung his hand to smack him but Danny was quick to dodge it. This boy.

"I don't know who you are calling old, but better watch your mouth boy,"

I really can't wait for all this to be over and I go back to Beijing and know what's next for me.