20. Book I: Imprisoned in the Body of a Murderer

Walking along the sidewalk of the bridge, a man with a handsome and sweet face at the same time with a gray coat wrapped around his tall stature stopped and stood at the restriction of the iron bridge. His eyes wandered far ahead, gazing at the river that acted calmly. A late winter breeze blew in, gently dancing his blond mane.

His mouth that was steamy from the cold snorted lightly. "Alright, I'm already here." The words came out loud.

A pedestrian turned his head towards the cute man who seemed to be talking to himself on the bridge he was walking on, as the pedestrian did not see who the cute man was talking to. Regardless, he continued walking.

"Nate, come out! I know you've been listening to me, right?" the cute guy exclaimed again, managing to get some of the other pedestrians' attention to turn towards him.

"Why do you always ignore me when I call out to you, Nate?" From his tone, it was clear he was frustrated, kicking at the gravel because he didn't show up.

"I don't care if you strangle me or shoot me..." He bit his teeth on the edge of his lip. "...You won't be able to, because we are the same body."

"Nate, you heard me, right?" An exhale followed by closed eyes, as he climbed the bridge restriction.

Some pedestrians and two young women passing by were whispering, while looking at him. It seemed that the man who was talking to himself did not realize that what he was doing now attracted attention. And they didn't even seem to care. To hell with him, they thought.

"NATE IF YOU DON'T COME OUT I'M GOING TO JUMP RIGHT NOW!!!"

Noel yelled as he ran out of patience. The line of cursing he was about to hurl was held back, caught in his throat.

Until someone finally cared.

"Son!" A middle-aged woman lightly tapped the shoulder of the man known as Noel.

Noel turned his head, his expression confused. "Yes?"

"This bridge is only three meters high, the water below is only knee deep, if you jump down you won't die right away, at most some parts of your body will be sprained," explained the middle-aged woman.

Noel was silent.

"Oh yes, yesterday my son also talked to himself a lot like you because he was left behind by his girlfriend, but don't worry," She took a piece of paper from someone's business card in her bag. "Here, take it!" She handed it to Noel.

"Thank you ..." Noel said softly, accepting the small piece of paper.

The middle-aged woman smiled, and continued her delayed speech. "Doctor Illéa is a psychiatrist, maybe he can provide the best solution for you. although it may have to stay in a mental hospital, but he is already a doctor who specializes in mental disorders." she said patting Noel's shoulder lightly and the middle-aged woman left the man who was still silent on the spot.

***

Noel stared at a two-story whitewashed building, located in the city center lined with shops. The building was not far from his apartment, a twenty-minute walk away.

"What am I doing? Why am I here? I'm not crazy." Noel ruffled his hair anxiously and turned around. However, after he took three steps to leave, Noel returned, going inside in a bit of a hurry. While scanning the room, the woman at the reception desk asked, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like to see Doctor Illéa."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"I have his business card."

"Well, please wait." he said with a friendly smile. Noel sat back in the waiting chair.

Soon his turn came, Noel entered the room, and sat in the chair that had been provided directly opposite the Psychiatrist. A man came in quite neatly dressed and sat in front of Noel.

"Gr-Gregory?" Noel shouted in front of the man with widened eyes.

A surprised expression was also briefly seen on his face although he quickly regained his composure. "Noel, what are you doing here? How do you know this place?" He asked after sitting on a chair and facing Noel directly.

"A middle-aged woman I met on the street gave me your business card." Noel replied briefly. However, Gregory didn't take his word for it, how could an aunt give the contact details of a psychiatrist to someone he didn't know especially if the person he gave it to didn't ask, so he thought that Noel was doing something strange.

"Did you do something on the street?" Gregory asked, he looked serious.

"I called Nate, and the aunt came to give me your contact."

"You called Nate?"

Noel nodded twice.

"Where?"

"On the bridge, I said if he didn't come out then I threatened to jump off the bridge."

"That worked?"

"I was mistaken for depression."

The one hand that had been tapping on the table went straight to his mouth. Gregory seemed to be holding back his laughter until he let out a pfftt sound from the slit of his mouth that was covered by the back of his hand.

"Don't laugh! It's not funny."

The reprimand from Noel managed to bring back the seriousness from his face. Gregory looked at Noel who had been playing with a small donkey figurine made of polished wood, which had long been a decoration on the table.

A minute passed with no one asking questions. Gregory looked at his watch, the center tread counting the time for a few moments, his eyes returning to Noel. "Noel," he called.

The man placed the wooden donkey back on the table. Gregory continued, "I want to ask you one thing." This time his expression turned serious, "What exactly is your relationship with the Director of Collins & SON. Inc?"

Like being doused with cold water in the heat of the day, Noel froze instantly after Gregory asked a question he never expected to be asked. Unwillingly, pieces of his past memories came rolling back.

His mind replayed the image of a young man smiling at his with the beach and blue sea in the background. Shouting that he loved him. The crashing waves obscured his shout, but Noel could still hear it. Now, every second of memory was empty, useless. 'Love' was a sweet word that he held dear to everyone, but in fact had created a cavity of pain in his heart. Like candy that creates a hole in the tooth.

"Noel, are you daydreaming?" the call echoed, displaying an empty call from within the name owner's retina.

Noel gasped as Gregory's palm swung in front of his face. Suddenly the cute guy blinked a few times. Remembering that Gregory was waiting for a response from him. Noel took a deep breath, his eyes dazed. He wanted to lie. However, his tongue betrayed him by saying, "He's my ex-boyfriend."

There was a moment of numbness, as the unexpected answer reached Gregory's eardrums like a thunderbolt. A former lover? As far as Gregory knew, Walther had never been close to anyone, except for his father's business partners. News of the Director of Collins & SON. Inc having a lover was unheard of, although there had been a few times but they were all just stale gossip of some actress who wanted to increase his popularity, or eyeing his fortune. However, now the man in front of his has said that he is Walther's lover. Correction, the correct 'former lover' is the Director of Collins & SON. Inc.

After the way Noel's expression explained his feelings when he told him about being detained by Walther two days ago, Gregory was skeptical of him. When he looked at Noel, a bad feeling tugged at his heart. Especially when it comes to Nate and Walther's relationship. Between Nate and Noel, neither of them wanted to talk about the relationship between them and Walther. However, when viewed from either side, both of them seemed to have a dark relationship with the cold-faced handsome man.

"I'm sorry, I guess it was too soon to ask about that." Gregory's husky voice broke the silence that had fallen between them. He was sure Noel wouldn't come forward to ask for a solution to his problems, and it was obvious that the man wanted to forget about him.

Noel lifted his head after recalling old memories that had become nostalgic and brought a tightness to his chest. "It's okay."

As Gregory expected, Noel would say that. "So, have some of your memories returned?"

Noel shook his head slowly. "Just a few, when I try to remember them my head feels like it's going to burst."

"Don't push yourself, you're just experiencing temporary memory loss due to trauma."

"Yes, I know. You already said that, I won't push it anymore."

Trying to convince his that everything will end up fine in the future even though reality is sometimes so painful.

***

A week had passed, Noel was going about his day as usual with Gregory, and now another chick named Wolfgang. Ever since he told him about his and Walther's relationship, Gregory hadn't talked about anything related to Nate at all.

TV shows on Sunday afternoons were boring to Noel, unlike Sunday mornings where there were many of his favorite cartoons, especially SpongeBob SquarePants. Lying on the sofa, he pressed the remote button repeatedly, flipping through the TV channels looking for interesting television programs. The cute guy was alone in the apartment because Gregory was still working at the clinic. Wolfgang had nowhere else to go, who he was with and what he was doing. All Noel knew was that the teenager had left immediately after receiving a message from someone, a teenage boy around his age.

Bored because he couldn't find a show that he found enjoyable, Noel turned off the television and threw the remote on the table. Occasionally yawning from the growing drowsiness. Closing his eyes, he thought, maybe sleep would be a better way to pass the time.

Ding Dong

The apartment door rang. Who's visiting on a lazy afternoon like this? Noel thought with his eyes closed, seemingly reluctant to open them.

Ding Dong!

The bell rang again. Forced to open his eyes, Noel muttered, "Wait, didn't Gregory say that none of his acquaintances know where he lives. So it's impossible, but if it's Wolfgang, he'll definitely come in soon."

"Anyone? We're from the police!" The call was heard from outside.

"Tck, it must be Gregory, stop scaring me!" Noel got up and walked towards the door grumbling. "You know Gregory, the same tricks won't fool me."

Noel opened the door with a slight annoyance, he didn't like this type of trick because it almost made him cringe when the man pranked him in the past. However, this time Noel's guess was completely wrong, when the door opened, what he saw was not Gregory. Instead it was two well-built, plainclothes men standing in front of the door.

"With Mr. Nathaniel?" asked one of them who was facing Noel, while the other was looking at the left side of the apartment hallway.

"I-yes?" Noel was a little nervous about answering. He remembered Gregory's message to avoid the police, but they had come to his apartment instead.

One of them showed his ID card. "I'm Detective Marty Bowen, can I ask you a few questions?"

"My statement?" Noel asked back with an unconcealed look of confusion on his face.

The man named Marty Bowen called out to his partner by tapping him lightly on the shoulder. "You explain!" he demanded. Making his partner turn around.

Noel rounded his eyes, staring at the man through an expression that seemed incredulous at who was standing in front of him now.

"Cody..." The name simply escaped Noel's lips, as if to imply something profound.