The Wonders Deepen (1)

“Aslan.”

Emeravwe sat on the ground beside the bench in the garden, absently uprooting the grass beneath her, her face set with confliction.

Their task completed, the Department of Records of Xxene’s House of Nobles reclaimed the passes they issued to her and Agaenaye Fatima, so she no longer had access to the department. When she contemplated how to regain entry, she could think only of two possible options. Though neither was particularly desirable, Emeravwe thought the safest would be to enlist Aslan’s help. But she hesitated now because of the risks. Even if he was somehow able to gain her access, she was sure it would not be easy, prime minister’s son or not, and she did not want to trouble him.

She strove to drive the issue of her background from her mind once the department rescinded her entry. After all, she had lived in the palace for almost eleven years now without knowing who her family was; what difference would it make if she found out now? It would not make up for all the time she had yearned for them, nor would she be able to leave the palace to search for them if she learned who they were. And if she found out they were dead, it would be even more devastating, because all her heartache would have been for nothing.

But since the thought crossed her mind, that her family might no longer be alive, she had been unable to quash it. If they had not abandoned her, it was the only plausible explanation for why they did not show themselves this past decade.

But that does not explain why even the Rode Aye do not know my clan or tribal name, or how I ended up in the palace. If they found me wandering in the Court of Permeance, then I really was abandoned. Emeravwe grunted at the thought, stymied. She had to get into the department to find the truth!

She jumped as Aslan lightly placed a hand on her head. He had been lying on the bench, but sat up now, his brow low with concern as he gazed down on her. “What is it, Eme?”

She looked up beseechingly, but could not form the request into words. She lowered her eyes, staring at the clumps of grass she had uprooted and piled up like her worries. “Aslan,” she said, her voice wavering, “do you not resent your father for leaving you in the palace?”

There was silence. She waited for his response, but when another moment passed, and he still did not answer, she lifted her eyes to his and froze. He was looking at her again with that mournful gaze. Why? She had often wondered this when they were younger. Now, the stare made her feel insecure. Was she so pitiful? Was that why he cared so much for her?

He said quietly, “Residing in the Sun’s Court is often not a matter of choice. This goes especially for Eunuchs and Maidens, and for those…like us. I do not resent my father, for he, too, did not have a choice. And you should not resent your parents because…” His eyes fell from hers and he turned away. When he spoke again, his words were choked, “No one is where they are not meant to be. Oghene leads us all to our rightful place.”

Emeravwe shook her head, shutting her eyes against the upwelling of tears. She did not want to hear such noble sophistry. It was not Oghene who left her abandoned in the palace or caused her nightly headaches and anxiety.

“I want to get into the Department of Records of Xxene’s House of Nobles.”

Aslan turned sharply to her.

She rose quickly to her knees, moving forward and placing a hand on his, importuning, “You can find a way to let me in, can you not? You were able to allow Akpokene and me into the Eunuchs’ Library—I know it may not be easy but—”

He stood abruptly, his face clouded. “I refuse! Gaining entry to the Department of Records of Xxene’s House of Nobles is not the same as accessing the Eunuchs’ Library. Without the proper authorization, such entry is a capital offense!”

Emeravwe’s heart dropped with a pang. She anticipated that Aslan would be reluctant to aid her, but did not think his reaction would be so severe. She besought, rising to her feet, as well, “That is why I am asking for your help.” She reached forward, lightly grasping his robe. “Aslan, please, I must have access to the records. I can find out who my family is—who I am!”

His eyes searched hers, uncertain. “But why… You have not mentioned your family in so long. Why…”

She dropped her gaze, loosening her grip on his robe. After a breath, she said, “I had a dream.” And she told him of her dreams. How they began with the man with hazel eyes who reminded her of his attendant, the bloody vision of the woman and officers, and the dreams she had been having recently of a family of four.

Aslan remained silent as she spoke, and when she finished, she lifted her eyes to see his face was black with a look of disturbance. He stood still as a statue, his brow knotted and eyes fixed unblinkingly on her.

“Aslan,” she called, but he simply stared. She felt his silence meant he would not help her, and she fearfully gripped his robes again. “I want to remember, Aslan. I want to know my past—I want to know who I am. I…” she stepped forward and leaned her head against his chest as moisture pricked her eyes. “I feel so insecure.”

He maintained silence, and with each passing moment Emeravwe’s heart clenched. He did not put his arms around her or try to comfort her, and the tears streamed because she knew his answer.

His voice was a strained whisper. “I cannot allow it.”

Emeravwe spun around to leave the garden, and Aslan grasped her arm, turning her to face him. “You must understand,” he said, his face wound with apprehension, “that I am afraid.”

She pulled her arm from his grip and stormed from the garden without a word. If he would not help her, then she would find her own way into the Department of Records of Xxene’s House of Nobles!