The Depths of the Ocean (3) - 71

A/N: It's my first time writing a socially awkward MC, so please tell me what y'all think and if I should change anything!

"A place of destitution."

Reading this out loud, I turned to Rua to inquire what she thought about it.

"The only thing I can think of is our minds..."

Quickly catching on due to how her tone had dropped so quickly, I was able to first, diagnose her, and second, figure out where the second clue was.

'A girl with depression and her room. I wonder what that will bring?'

"Let's go, I know the way."

"O-okay..."

Feeling a little bit disconnected between Rua's two personalities, I opened my mouth to try and lighten the mood, but she beat me to the punch.

"Oh yeah, how do you know Japanese?"

Looking at her face, I wondered how it was even possible for someone to be so expressive in their emotions.

She literally looked like an anime character or something, with that questioning face that every single anime character used when they were asking a question.

"I learned it to read manga..." I replied, using an excuse that I thought was somewhat believable.

"Oh, you're a weeb?"

"Yeah... that's why I'm really socially awkward... probably."

Casting my face down, I fully expected her to be disgusted at me, as I could tell that she was actually a Japanese person, born and raised in Japan, from her accent, so I was thoroughly surprised when she started laughing.

"Micheal, you know that there's nothing wrong with that, right?"

"B-but..."

It was my turn to be unable to speak now.

"It's fine. You're you, so just be happy."

Proclaiming this with a bright smile on her face, she starting sauntering off.

'You know that you're going the wrong way... right?'

Waiting for her to realize that I wasn't following her, I just admired her back, as she walked all haughtily in the complete opposite direction of that in which she was supposed to go.

In the end, as she suddenly realized the fact, got mad at me, and pouted whilst being all red in the face as she hit me playfully, I didn't know this, but I had unknowingly started smiling.

My first smile since meeting Aunt Mae for the last time.

As we went on to win the cosmic brownies, I couldn't help but smile the whole way through.

And, this wasn't like the fake smile that Rua would wear most of the time, but was a smile I had genuinely formed on my face.

On that day, I had been finally ready to move on, pushing away my fake determination and turning it into the real deal.

On that day, I had found my second ever reason to smile again.

And, it was on that day that spring seemed to be just around the corner for me...

...

"Do you ever hear voices, Micheal?"

As we sat there on one of the many tables in the cafeteria, enjoying our newly won cosmic brownies, she started asking me questions that seemed far removed from her "usual" self.

"No." I replied, completely lying.

In truth, I heard the cries of the people I killed and stole the souls of everyday, as they woke me up in the morning each day, drenching me in sweat.

I would probably never sleep soundly again in my life.

She also seemed a little skeptical of my answer, as was clearly shown on her face, but she didn't pry, as she knew that I obviously didn't want to talk about it if I had lied.

"Well, what about the voices you hear?" I asked her back, knowing that she had been trying to bring this up as the topic of conversation.

"They're nothing..."

And then, we descended into an uncomfortable silence, much different from how it was before.

'Well shit, I guess I made her mad.'

"Well, I'll be heading back to my room now. It was nice to meet you, Micheal."

"Ah, I guess I'll go back to my room too."

Purposefully postponing our goodbyes, I got up and started walking in the same direction as her, just trailing 5 steps behind her at all times.

She might not have realized this yet, but our patient numbers were right next to each other, so it was kind of obvious that our rooms would be right next to each other.

"Sigh... just come here and walk beside me. It's kinda awkward if you do that."

'Oh, I guess she did figure it out then.'

(A/N: I wonder how many of you thought that I was going for a generic "Ah! He's stalking me!" type of scenario... Y'all should know that I hate misunderstandings. Also, the MC's LI should be smart at the very least.)

Rushing up beside her, I just walked stiffly, unsure of what to do.

"C'mon! You didn't think I was really mad at you, did you?" She asked, that fake, bright smile beaming on her face again, as she poked me in the side.

"N-no... not really." I replied, extremely awkward in this situation.

"Where's that smiling face I saw when we were running around?"

Once again, trying to break the awkward atmosphere around us, she went and took the initiative to pinch my cheeks before trying to stretch my lips into a smile.

At the time, I'm sorry for this, but like, I didn't know what was a "normal" human interaction, especially between a boy and a girl after meeting for the first time, so I had done something extremely unexpected and stupid.

Bringing my hand up to my face, I took her hand that was there, put my palm over hers, and then leaned into her hand, like I had done so many times before with Aunt Mae.

Closing my eyes, I had enveloped myself in this familiar, homely feeling, only noticing that something was wrong as I found that her hand had started shaking.

"Y-y-you... pervert!"

By now, we had reached her door, and so she had suddenly pulled away and rushed into her room.

As for me, I just stood there, staring dumbly at the door, at where her back had disappeared into, as I wondered what was so wrong with my actions.

If only I had actively noticed at that time that she had spent the next hour with her face in her knees, as she leaned against the door.

If only I had actively noticed her red, teary face, as I saw it for a brief second before she closed her door on me.

If only I had noticed her wrists, and the deep scars there that served as her reminder of darker times.

If only I had realized that the tips of my ears had turned slightly red, and what this indicated about my own self.

If only...