Goodbye my Guardian

I am having a weird feeling about my marriage. Petric have shown his love for me many times, but I can't believe him completely and that is weird. He is my to be husband, I must accept him and love him and respect him. I must...

Let it be, I shouldn't think about it too much. Before I get married, I must visit my guardian from the forest.

I know this is super weird. I don't know who is that ? I don't even know if he is really there or just my feeling ? I don't know whether it's 'He' or 'She' ? But I feel he/she have been saving my life in the forest for a very long time. It won't be exaggeration if I said since my childhood.

I need to go to the forest every single day to bring the dried wood for the fuel. The forest is full of numerous wild and dangerous animals who can kill me just like they killed many of the people form my village. But none came across me ever. I do hear their growls and roars but I didn't saw any...

Actually no, I've seen few at just few steps away. But, before they could hurt me or launch at me, some deadly growl comes from nowhere and the animal leaves me unharmed ! And that happens often. So, I have told myself that there is some guardian in the forest who saves my life everytime. I can't see anyone, but I can feel the presence.

And don't know why, but I think I have fallen in love with my guardian; if he exist. And I must tell him this and thank him for saving my life many times and tell him that from now onwards I won't be visiting the forest, so he can do his work and don't need to be attentive for me anymore.

My husband is millionaire, so he definitely won't let me or won't ask me to go to the forest and bring the dried wood !

" Mom, I am going to forest. I'll be back soon. "

I told mom.

" What ? Forest ? Why now ? You've brought the wood for night as well Jenifer, now why are you going there ? Mr. Diggory may come to visit us , what would I tell him if he asks me where is his would be wife ? Don't go now. "

Mom told me.

" Mom, I need to go. He can wait a few moments, I won't take long. I promise I'll be back soon. But I must go now. "

I won't wait to listen what she have to say. I need to run if I don't want to get caught by my brother. If Mom asked him to chase me, he'll definitely get me and I don't want that now. I have to go and meet my guardian for the last time !

Finally the spot where I feel his existence everytime. My heart is beating as hell. I don't know if he is here or not; I don't know if he even exist as I feel. But I need to tell few things for my satisfaction.

" He... Hello ? I know I might sound stupid but, I think you are someone who have always protected me since my childhood in the forest from all the wild and dangerous animals and I want to thank you for that. If it wasn't for you, I would be dead by now. Thank you so much for whatever you did for me.

I don't know if you really exist; but if you do, I really am grateful for your protection. I felt very safe whenever I sensed you around me. I know it is stupid to think that way but, I think whenever I was afraid I heard a purr which calmed me to a normal level, as if nothing happened and my heart wasn't beating as hell a few moments ago.

I don't know who you are or are you for real, whatever is the situation thank you so much.

I don't know if you want to know this, but I need to tell you this. I am getting married in few weeks. And so I won't come here anymore so, you don't have to bother for me anymore.

I don't think you would have any idea of the world outside of this forest, but I am getting married to Petric Diggory. He is a very famous businessman of our town. He is a millionaire. I don't know why does he wants to get married to me ?

He says he loves me but, I don't know why I can't believe that, no matter how hard I try to believe it. In the beginning I was convinced completely he do but, recently, his behavior is making me doubt it !

But, let it be I can't do anything in it now. As he is so rich, he won't let me come here for collecting the dried wood. And I don't know when would I come here again, so before leaving forever I wanted to thank you and say my goodbye.

You know, whenever I come here, I am never sacred of anything, because I know you are with me to protect me.

I still remember that night when the black panther was just few steps away from tearing me apart, but suddenly a loud and deafening growl came from nowhere and the panther almost ran away as if he was afraid for his life !

And then, I heard the soothing and relaxing purr which calmed me down immediately as if, I never saw the panther for real !

You have saved my life like this many times from various animals and I am not sure but I think everyday you kept the dried woods for me in my way, so that I won't need to wander for it ! Thank you so much for everything you did for me.

I know I will definitely sound stupid but, if you were a man, I definitely would have fallen head over heels for you and would have married you !

But... I don't think you are a man. And I seriously don't care who you are or whether you exist or not but, I wanted to thank you and tell you that, I won't be coming here again.

I... I am gonna miss you my guardian. Yes, I really am gonna miss you and miss spending time fearlessly in your soothing presence. I... I love you my guardian. I hope we could meet someday somewhere.

I don't know for sure but I promise you one thing, if I ever got chance again to come visit you I definitely will. I am gonna miss you. Goodbye. Take care and we'll meet again if we are destined to. Um... I think I should leave now. Bye... "

I looked at the motionless sight infront of me making clear that there is nobody behind the bushes and I was blabbering nonsense to the plants, proving myself stupid !

Whatever it is, but I am feeling good and relaxed after my confession.

I better run back before Mom get mad at me more than she already was.

When I reached home, she was standing in the door with her hands on her waist. The famous posture indicating she was super mad and is gonna slap me hard in my face. She took a step in my direction and stopped in her way as Petric's car stopped infront of our house.

I thanked God for sending him on time and saving me from my mom's slap. She might look short and tiny, but she have hard hands. When get slapped by her, it feels like getting hit by some rock !

She immediately straightened her posture and ran her hand on her hair too smoothen them. She gets more anxious whenever Petric visits us. She have asked him to inform her beforehand if he is visiting, so that she should look presentable.

And surprisingly, he have accepted it. He always informs her if he was visiting.

From her dress and unpresentable form, he definitely haven't told her about his arrival, or otherwise, she definitely wouldn't have been standing here like this.

He got off his car and buttoned up his suite and walked straight towards me. When he passed by my Mom, she hesitated.

" I am so sorry, Mr. Diggory for my untidy presence. Actually you forgot to tell me you were arriving so soon. I thought you might visit after lunch and so... "

She didn't continued as she was embarrassed for her form. He didn't even bothered to look at her and when he was close enough to see my face clearly, he wrinkled his nose as if he was disgusted with something.

What could it be now that disgusted him ? Lately he is disgusted with anything I do. Whether it's my clothes, or the food I eat, or the way I talk or even the way I walk ! What is it this time ?

" Where the hell have you been Jenifer ? Why are you looking like you were dragged through vegetation ? "

He almost yelled at me. I flinched at his pitch and looked down.

When he realized his mistake, he came closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder. He began to take out the twigs and the leaves and dirt from my hair.

" I am so sorry, dear for I raised my voice at you. But look at yourself, you have been there where you shouldn't have ! I was scared and so, I raised my voice. "

He said still removing the dirt.

Well , he was right. I do look like I have dragged through vegetation. Everytime I return from forest, I need to comb my hair to remove all the dirt. But today, he caught me in my this form before I have cleaned my hair.

" Forget about it. Now, go take a shower quickly and make yourself presentable. I am taking you to a grooming teacher. "

He said taking a step back. What is a grooming teacher ? And why do I need to go to him ?

" Grooming teacher ? "

I asked confused.

" You are going to be my wife in a few weeks. You haven't seen the world outside the forest and this village. Our life there is way too different from here. If you learn the basic manners and etiquettes before our wedding it would be better for you.

Now go and take a quick shower. I don't have all day to waste here. "

He said and turned to go to his car.

" I will get you some water Mr. Diggory. "

My mom said with hospitality.

" I don't need it. And you, go hurry up. "

He said over his shoulder. He didn't even looked at my Mom while rejecting her offer. I feel bad for her. When I didn't moved from my place, he honked the horn signaling me to go. I ran to the bathroom and took a quick shower and got in his car.

He took me to some five star hotel looking place. There I met Martha, my grooming teacher. She was teaching me how to talk politely, walk gracefully. Fortunately, my talking and walking wasn't so bad, so I caught it quickly. But I can't say the same for the table manners ! Even after hours of practice, I couldn't do what she was asking me to do.

" Uh-uh mam, you shouldn't leave the meat from the fork just because it won't stick to it. You have to pierce it and force it to be in hold till it reaches your mouth. This way you'll end up eating the veggies only and leaving the meat in your plate and that shouldn't be happening ! "

She told me.

" Mam... "

I tried to talk to her, but she interrupted me.

" Call me Martha, mam. "

She said.

" Ok, Martha. I can eat veggies, I don't have any problem with them. In fact, I love veggies. "

I told her.

" I can see it, mam. But when you visit some function, mostly meat is the preference of the host. Veggies are there, but no one cares about them and so, mostly they are omitted from the menu itself. What would you do then ? "

Martha asked.

" I guess you are right. Let's try it one more time. "

I said.

I am to get married to the millionaire, who needs to attend countless parties with his better half; which I am going to be soon. So, he hired her to groom my table manners, behaviour, talking, walking and dressing style.

In short, he is molding me into his lifestyle before we get married, so that, he won't make a joke of himself by taking me anywhere with him the way I am right now.

Well, sometimes I feel insulted with all this. He claims to love me and can't even accept me the way I am ! What kind of love is this ? If he loves me, he shouldn't care about how I look or behave.

I mean, everyone have the basic manners to behave themselves infront of rich people. I have them as well. My insult comes when he doesn't let me be myself even when we are all alone !

I tried to talk to him about it but, he changes the topic always by saying that he is doing all this just so, I won't have to face insult or shame in future just because I won't be able to mix with the rich people, as I am the daughter of a poor servant who took a massive loan from his father !

But I think, he is right at some level. No one would want to feel insulted by their better half in their business world. And anyways, except for the obsession of making me look and behave good, he is all nice to me. He takes care of me. He takes me out and spend time with me.

He makes me feel good. He always surprises me with his gifts. He makes me feel special everytime we are together, what else do I need ? I am overthinking about it. I'll let it go and be ready to start my new life with my loving and caring husband.

He have bought me numerous variety of dresses I've never worn before. I have seen them in the stores only and dreamed of wearing them someday and I guess the time has come !