Living with mum

Liam POV,

All my life, I've never felt this way. Right now I'm containing two feelings, I'll rarely ever thing I'll feel. Depression and Anger, severe anger. I don't know how I'm keeping it but I just am. Right now we are all in the car driving home, I'm seating beside Antonio while he's driving. No one would have even have any zeal to drive. I can swear we are all going to die if Matoe or Jayden drives.

" Loosen up guys," Antonio finally broke the awkward silence in the car. He took a quick glance at every one of us before focusing back on the road. "Clarrissa will just be away for a while, it's not like she died."

"Well why do I feel like it." I grumbled angrily, I tried to hide the sadness I was feeling though but failed miserably. I felt Antonio looked at me and then sighed.

"We all know this is for the best guys. Trust me I know how you all feel about letting our sister go off like that, I feel like shit too. If there was something I could do to make her stay then I would have gladly do it but she was so bent on leaving and forcing her to stay is out of the option. She will just hate us more than she already do and probably never forgives us for life." Antonio tried to reason, still focused on the road.

"And why should we exactly care about that?" Jayden lashed out from the back. "Why should we care whether she hates us or not. You of all people should know how much desperate our enemies are to bring us down and they'll use any possible means to make that happen and apparently clarriss is an easy target. Putting  her out of reach is going to endanger her life. So which is better? Risking her life just to please her or protecting her even though she'll hate for life? Besides Clarissa is always bound to hate us, we aren't always going to get along because we aren't perfect. That's the reality of  it Antonio and you know it."

For the first time, I can say Jayden  had made a reasonable point in his life or maybe I'm the one seeing it that way cause I can't just stay a moment knowing my sister is out there among wolves.

"Jayden is right Antonio. Trust me it'll kill mr if anything happens to her. She've already been through so much, she deserved to be protected and guided like an egg. I don't care if I'll have to tie her up under my net and get to live with her hatred for me but her safety is what matters most to me" I added.

Antonio was quiet  for a while and then he sighed  before saying, "I understand your point guys.but It's not her fault that we have to follow this  path so we shouldn't make her suffer for it. She deserve to be happy and pampered like the princess that she is. I can't imagine subjecting my baby sister to bdsm all because i want to keep her safe so she's better off being with her adopted mother for now. If that's what makes her happy"

"Seriously Antonio? You aren't possibly comfortable leaving Clarissa in that exposed house with just one woman are you?" Jayden attacked, acting like the eldest one this time.

"No I am not. I intend to  hire as many  of our most strangest and reliable men to   to secretly watch over them and fill me in on her every day activities" Antonio said and Jayden quite agreed with that.

Though I did agree but still.., I don't think I'll be able to stay a day without my baby. For the few time we've stayed together I swear I've grew so fond of her. I low key love the way she gets shy and scared but I'll be there playing mother hen for her. I've never really taken care of anyone before, Since I'm obviously the youngest among my brothers, I'm the one who've been taken care of that's why when clarrisa came, I was so attached to her. The feeling of seeing someone as your responsibility is really euphoric.

"When is Clarissa coming back anyway," I asked a moment later.

"I don't know yet," Antonio said. "But On no account should anyone go to visit for the time being." The last statement made me gave Antonio a deep scowl.

"Then how  would we know she's ready to come back home?" I nearly yelled.

"I'll decide that when the time comes." Antonio says sternly.

Sometimes Antonio's decision can be stupid, useless, annoying and just... argh I feel like skinning him.

Jayden objected to his decision but Antonio tries to reason with him that it's for the best.

"That doesn't mean I'll stay back should I here she's in any way in danger." Jayden growled despite all he've and there was certainty in his voice.

"As the eldest brother, I'm laying that as a rule. None of you will like to see the outcome if you fucking  disrespect it." Antonio voice commanded Authority.

"Right! this is the fucking  dumbest  rule of all time." I scoffed angrily and averted my gaze to the window. I felt Antonio look at me but didn't say a shit. Moments later I heard him querring Matoe and oops, I've forgotten Mattoe is in this car.

"Who've  you been be texting Matoe?" Antonio asked sternly.

"Like I'm not up to the official age to text with whoever I want without you knowing?" Matoe said in the most rude way.

I glanced at him and see him shoving his phone in his pocket.

"Don't get too uptight. It was just a question. I mean you've been so keen on your phone, not contributing a thing despite all we've said so that's quite alarming" Antonio tried to pacify with a soft voice.

"What's there to talk about if Clarrissa won't be coming back today anyway."

To my surprise Jayden scoffed and attack Mateo.

"Don't try to turn this into Clarissa topic. You do know you're hiding something from us. I mean since when did you became a textrovert? Anyways whether you speak up or not I'll find out soon and treat you myself."

And that resulted to another round of argument. Jayden and Mattoe argued over mattoe's sneaking around. They both threw hot words at each other.

Antonio tried to stop them but couldn't hence he just focus on the road.

As for me even though I was on Jayden side, I didn't contributed a word.

Honestly They can kill themselves, I don't care.

I was just in a fucking bad mood-everyone was.

Antonio bought some Mac and cheese along the way, maybe deeming that will cheer me up because that's the old trick he uses on me back then, each time he gets me angry, he'll pacify me with goodies and gifts but surprising it got me more enraged. I hated that he was treating me like a baby, I mean I'm not his baby anymore. I'm an elder brother now. I remained in a bad mood till we arrived home.

Clarrissa POV,

After I'd finally got settled down, my luggages in the room, I've so much to explain to mother. Mother was seating beside me on the bed while I narrated to her everything I've been through In the hands of her sons. She was dumbfounded to hear everything and her eyes became watery at the part where I told her how they were using me to enrich themselves, how they would take me to men who violated me, I freely say every single details to mother, even though it traumatized me at least it was her right to know the reason why my biological brothers have to do what they did.

"Oh poor clarrisa," she sniffled tears twinkling in her eyes. "Why Didn't you make me aware of all these before? Why didn't you tell me you were going through so much hell from the hands of your brothers huh?! Why did you kept these whole thing away from me." She asked tearfully. She look really sad and downcast.

"I couldn't tell you about it because they threatened to do worse things to me if I dare say a word of it. They threatened to go as far as killing me if I expose them to you. Even though I wanted to die then, I didn't want to get kill in such painful way so..so I was scared" I said huskily, my voice was breaking because I was crying.

"Oh my Goodness clarrisa. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were suffering inside, I didn't you were dying. Wait... those bruises you always sustained, were they behind all that?" Mum asked in realization. I just nodded dolefully.

"I really can't believe this. How could your brothers do all that to you? Who did they sold their heart to? And how come I didn't even realize all this while. What sort of a mother am I? Clarrissa I'm so sorry please forgive me." She rambled mainly to herself breaking down in tears as she pulled me into a hug.

"I promise you, you will never go through all that again. I will do all I can to set things straight alright?!" She kept saying reassuring words to me while I cried on her shoulder.

I cried freely on her, it felt so good letting all that out to mother. Even though there was nothing she could really do that will unbreak me, it felt so good craving comfort in the arms of my mother. The feeling was different from that of my brothers. In my brothers arms, I do feel safe and half scared or nervous but with mother I was truly free. I mean I've been with this woman since when I was a toddler.

I cried all my pains and anguish on mother's shoulders, she kept rocking my back and telling me everything will be fine.

After mother had successfully consoled me, she helped me arranged my clothes into the closet.

"Mother you know I can do that myself" I whined, referring to the clothes she was folding.

I was on the bed eating the grapes she's brought for me.

"I know right. But have you forgotten? You are my baby. You don't have to stress over anything while you are with me. Beside after everything you've gone through, I've to make it up to you." She says smiling and I did a small laugh.

I really missed my mummy!

"But you don't have to make up for anything. You didn't do anything to hurt me. I am the one who even wronged you, I ran away from you without thinking of how you will feel." My smile turned into a sad one.

Mum drop the cloth in her hand and turned to face me.

"C'mon clarrissa don't say that. You only did the right thing, it's not your fault that you've to escape to save yourself. Just that I was really worried and even got a heart-attack, for days I was thinking about you. I thought you ran away because you found out you were adopted. Everyday, I regretted lying to you and also thinking if you were safe. I wondered if you were still alive and I kept wishing you will return back to me." She said smiling sadly.

I felt so guilty once again. My mother doesn't deserve to be hurt. She didn't do a thing to me. All she did was love and care for me.

"I'm really sorry mother."

"I understand. I guess that was my punishment for not being more of  a good mother. No matter what, I should have known you were dying in secret. The signs were there. I know your brothers hated you but I didn't bother to find out to what extent." She sniffled and wipe tears from her eyes. I stood up from the bed and went to Hug her again.

I reminded her it wasn't her fault and then we were back to normal. By the time she was done arranging my clothes, the wardrobe was filled. "My goodness did your brothers really get all these clothes for you?!" Mother asked in awe and I nodded.

"They must have really love and cared so much for you." She said in admiration.

"Yeah," came my dull response, twisting the tip of my hair. Feeling awkward.

"Then why did you leave them? I mean why did you return back?!" She asked staring at me and for a short while I didn't know what to say.

Why did I really leave them huh?

"For many reasons. They broke my trust. They promised me they aren't going to do anything about my adopted brothers after telling them my past but see, they broke it" when I said that, I didn't expect mum to side with them but to my awful surprise she did.

"You don't have to be angry at them clarry. Whatever they did is a sign that they truly loved you so much. They were probably highly  infuriated about everything. They did what they deem best to get revenge for thier sister. Even I would do the same even though it hurts so much" Mum said. In a way Mum was right. My ex brothers deserve to pay for what they did to me but they are still my mother's son and I can't just imagine how much she's hurting right now.

For the rest of the day mom pampered me like a baby, she literally kept a very close eye on me. Making sure I was okay. She gave me a big Cardigan and pijamas which helped for the frosty weather.

Even though my brothers do cook for me, it was a different feeling watching mother prepare my favourite meal. It took me back to the days when I was still a kid, those nostalgic moment when I use to act silly cause I was the baby of the house.

I couldn't help smiling at those memories and shedding tears of nostalgia.

As we were eating at the dining, I saw tears rolling down mother's eyes. I called her name several times but she seemed to be zoned out. I've to yell her name and then she startled.

"Mother why are you crying?" I asked sadly.

"Oh,.. it's... it's nothing." She sniffled using her palm to wipe her tears. "You know I was just remembering those days where we used t dine together like this as a complete family. I know what your brothers did is worth a death sentence but it kind of hurt. It hurt so much because they are my children. I know you wouldn't understand clarrisa but I've been dead ever since the day my sons went missing after that very day your brothers invaded the house." Mother said tearfully and i couldn't help the tears that blurred my vision. I went emotional all at once and I couldn't control it.

"I'm so sorry mother." I cried.

"You don't have to. I just want to know. What did  your biological brothers do to do to them". Are..are my sons still alive?" mother asked miserably, her head bowed down.

I watched mother dolefully for a while and then reach for her hands.

"I really don't know. My brothers are mafias. I'm pretty sure they are going to deal with them in a very unlawful way." I've to tell her the bitter truth.

She sniffled and say, "yeah they deserve to pay for thier act but you know if there's way to help talk to your brothers to involve the authorities in this I'll really appreciate. I don't care if they spend the rest of thier life in jail but provided they are alive." Honestly I didn't know what to say. Even though I want to tell my brothers that, I'm pretty sure there's no way they will  agree to that. I may be naive but I know my brothers works against the law and involving the police will be a threat to them and then again, I'm not so free around them to tell them that. It hurt to see mother down but there was nothing I could do.

The only thing I did was console her in the best way I could. For the rest few days, I was there for mum and she was there for me too.

Infact even though I know she was hurting, she always tries to be happy around me just to make me happy. I tried as much as possible not to let the repeated memories of the past to affect me but seems like the more I try, the more it invaded me. Mum however didn't leave myside, she'll always sleep with me in the room and cuddles me to sleep.

Days later.

It's a Monday morning. Mum was suppose to be at work but she's forfeited her work just for my sake and even for the past few days. In fact Right now I'm in the kitchen with her .

She's tutoring on how to prepare Homemade potato gnocchi.

"Roll the gnocchi in a little flour. Holding them very lightly, form each into a small concave gnocchi shape. then hold them against the prongs of the back of a fork, pressing only firmly enough to get the imprint but hey not so firmly that they go through the prongs alright?" Mother instructed  in a professional assent and then smiled at me. I gave her a nod and a smile, then I continued watching her as she proceed.

"then guide each one so it tumbles away from the fork. Use your thumb as a guide and your fingers to pick and curl the gnocchi up. And..." she stopped curling the gnocchi and monitored me to pass out the board. I did.

"Then Spread them on a large board. Yeah  here you go." She said, particularizing everything she was saying.

I watched her keenly and followed her every steps till the food was finally heating on fire.

I thanked her for the training and she gave me a kiss on the forehead which left me giggling.

It doesn't take long before gnocchi was finally ready. It looked so delicious when it was fully cooked. I couldn't just wait to taste it. After preparing the dinning with mother, I dug into my portion of the food.

"Wow this so delicious mother." I nearly screamed  with a  heavy mouth full.

"C'Mon take it easy young lady. You don't want to choke on yourself." Mother cautioned at the same passing me water. I took it and gulped it down. Let's say I really nearly gagged because my mouth was so full, I've shove in a mighty spoon full as if someone would take the food away from me.

Childish, I know but it feels so Good to feel and act childish again after years.

"So You know I was thinking how about we hang out together. Like go on and mother to daughter date. It's really been a while you know" mother said at the middle of breakfast.

"Wow that'll be really fun, mother. Where would we go?" I bubbler excitedly.

"You decide"

"Urhnnm.. how about we go to a park?"

"I'll tag along too." My heart skipped as a thick voice intruded. I know who that is. And turning to face the door, my hunch was confirmed. The door was opened and the bushy beard man walked in.

A man who'd managed to be my worst nightmare for the three times he'd came to see mum for the few days I've been here.

The man had been harassing my  mother with sexual innuendos and honestly the site of him creeps me out.

"What the hell are you doing here Luca?" Mum asked angrily and stood up. I stood up too and went to stand beside mum as the man advances to the dining area.

"I thought I've warned you to stop coming here to bother me."

"Bother?! You know you should learn some courtesy. Is that anyway to talk to an humble guest like me. You should be asking me what i want you to offer me right?" He said smiling sarcastically.

"You an uninvited guest here Luca and you know it.  I've nothing to offer you Luca so please have some decency and just leave." Mother voice quivered even while she was trying to be firm, I could clearly hear her swallowed hard.

"Decency?" The man smirked creepily as he advanced closer to mother. He stop when he was an inch apart from mother. "You've the nerve to talk about decency? Who's the whore who dump me in the prison and married some bastard." He groveled, his burning  Aura was getting me more scared. I held mother's arm right.

Yeah According  to mother. The man  use to be her  lover but then she found out he's a criminal went be got arrested and jailed for Assassination. Mother forgot about him and married dad but now he came back from prison few weeks ago and he'd been a nightmare to both me and mother, scaring the shit out of me.

Mother heaved a deep sigh and then said, "let's let the past be the past Luca. Forget about our past and just move on already."

"Seriously? You think I can just move on after what you did?" He lashed out.

"You do know what I'm capable of doing right? I've already been in jail so I'm not scared of the law anymore. But I'm not going to hurt you. Just be my woman again and we are good." She slurred the last words, he was holding mother's cheeks and tried to kiss her. Mother shrieked back trying to get off his grip but he dug his finger dip in my mother cheek. Mother cried out that he's hurting her but he didn't care, he was still trying to kiss mother.

"Leave my mother alone!!" I yelled out of my own control. I just couldn't contain my anger anymore and of course I regretted it though when the man left mother and faced me.

"Wow such a brave kid" he smiled like a psycho, I immediately went behind mother.

"Don't dare get close to my daughter Luca." My mother said blocking shielding me as Luca as trying to get me.

"Of course I won't.  at least for now. But if you don't agree to my humble proposal then I'll have to take your daughter for a substitute. How about that?" He asked with an evil grin.

My heart skipped a beat. What does he mean by that?

"What??" Mother breathed out.

"Yeah she's quite pretty and she looks like she might make  a good fuck you know. I'm giving you just tonight to make a decision. Or else..."

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. You miserable pervert!!" Mother yelling made me flinched. The man roared with an hysterical laughter and then said "just tonight"

With that he left.

After he left, I was panting heavily, fear consuming me whole.

The man's words reminded me of those traumatic moments when men forced themselves on me against my will.

God! Please pretty please I don't want to go through any of that again.

I could hear my mother calling my name but I was too busy dwelling in my memories and praying to God.

"Clarrisa please calm down please" mother said holding my arms tenderly.

"I...I...I am scared mother. I'm so scared." I cried out after recovering from my flashback. Infact I was a crying mess.

"C'mon Don't mind that bastard clarrisa. Don't let whatever he said get to you. It was just an empty threat okay." There's anything mother will say that will pacify me. I know he wasn't joking at all but I just nodded and mother took me in her arms rocking my back.

Later on, i and mother hung out as planned. I wasn't so enthusiastic about it anymore cause of luca's threat. His words kept torturing me mentally but I tried so hard to hide my fear. At least mother is going through a lot and still trying to make me happy, the least I can do is not make her worry too much about me.

We actually went to the park together.

While We toured round and played different fun games, I made sure I lived every moment of it. I smiled and laughed as much as I ought to.

Right now we are somewhere at the park, eating ice creame while we fed our house with activities going on. The whether was fiery but it wasn't affecting us that much as we are on sub hat. We've been talking about different topics and now, I was busy telling mother a funny story my teacher use to tell us back them.

Mother was responding very well before but now I noticed she suddenly stop responding, she wasn't even paying attention. Her attention was on some set of family who were playing basket ball some distance away. I was suppose to get angry I know, but instead I went sad. Sad that the family sparks  a feeling  in me, they were two boys, two girls and the parents.

They look so happy and having so much fun. I couldn't help fantasying on how our family use to be very complete and happy. I didn't need anyone to tell me that was what mother is thinking too.

"Mum.? Mum? MUM" I called mother several times until she finally startled and replied.

"Huh?"

"Are you alright mother?" I asked even though I know she wasn't.

"Of course" She gave me a forced smile. "I-I am sorry I zoned off. I just got caught up in the good old days you know" She began with a sad smile. "I wish I could go back in time and stop some certain things from happening. I wish your father was still alive and I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I wish there was anything I could do just so...so I'll be here together with my sons. I feel so scared. What will happen if your brothers decides to come take you away from me. You are the only one I left in this world." Her voice trembled but she quickly took out a wiper and wipe her eyes.

Tears blurred my vision too and I let it flow freely. "You don't have to worry mother. I promise I'll always be here for you alright." I said tearfully.

It's not like I've plans of going back to my brothers. Nope, I'm not angry at them anymore. I am just scared. Infact I know they wouldn't accept me anymore.

They probably consider me a rebel now, I mean it's been nearly a week now and none of them have bother to come for me. I don't even know if I really want them to come but then not coming at all prove that they've already given up on me. They won't accept me anymore.

"How I really want  to believe that but no matter what happens, your brothers will surely come to take you  away and I can't stop them. I mean it's their right. All I wish is that they can punish and descipline your other brothers all they want, because they ought to pay for their crimes but they should return to them to me alive." It was hurting me to see mother breaking down in tears.

"Don't worry mother. No matter...no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you. It's not like my brothers will come for me anymore. It's obvious they've forgotten about me." I said crying uncontrollably. Mum Freon cupped my face in her palm.

"Please don't say that. Your brothers didn't forget about you. I can assure you. They are just giving you your own space for now. Besides I didn't bring this up to...to make you feel bad or anything. I was just simply selfish I guess and now I make my poor baby cry.  Come here." Mother smiled in tears while caressing my cheek. She urged me to smile for her and I did.

A day out with mother wasn't as fun as the good old days but I still enjoyed it at least.

I'd actually forgotten about Luca's threat until we met him standing right at our door.

The poly back I was holding fell off my hand, I grew instant panic attack at the sight of him.

He grinned creepily as mother asked him what he was doing. She apparently knows what he was doing here. "So Have you decided?" He lit a cigarette and smoked from it.

"Luca please stay away from us" my mother voice shook as she was trying to shield me.

"Then you leave me with no choice then." He spat angrily and advanced towards us, mother tried stopping him but he managed to grab my wrist. My heart sank into my stomach as He forcefully pulled me to himself, he blew cigarette smoke on my face.

"Let go off her Luca" my mother yelled and tried to get to me but Luca pushed her her down.

"Since you are so stubborn then you leave me with so choice." He groveled and ruthlessly crashed his stinking lips to mine, unware to me, a gasped escaped my lips.

I was already crying as the man thrashed me against the nearest wall, in the eyes of my mother, he was forcefully trying to strip off my clothes. When mother tried stoping hk again, he brought out a gun.

Threatening to shoot me if she dares come close. Mine and mom's voice mixed together as we were both crying and begging him to let me go.

But paying deaf ears, he continued exploring my neck area with his mouth which was smelling of cigarette. Inwardly, I was dying. I died because I know this night I'm about to get raped and there was no one to save me. All mother could do was cry and beg him to stop, she tried telling she've agreed to his proposal but this man was so determined to violate me.

While me I couldn't even bother to struggle to save myself cause I too scared, too scared that it saps away single strength in me. In as much as I was bracing myself for my fate, I still wished anyone could come to my rescue.

But that rescuer was my mother, I didn't know she did it but she used to big stick to hit Maximo on the head. He screamed out in pain and he broke off from me then crashed to the ground.

Blood Oozed out from his head as he rumbled on the floor, we seized that opportunity. Mum dragged me up from the ground and headed hurriedly for the door but we weren't that fast. We heard a groan from behind us and next mother was dragged back. That was Luca. He was looking like an angry lion. "How dare you Rebecca" rebeccas is mother name and before I knew it, he smacked mother so hard that she fell to ground.

No! I cried out in tears as h started beating mother, punching and kicking her like a fellow man. He looked so most like a beast and of course he was. I couldn't do anything order than to cry and shout for help. The man got more angry at me, he attacked me and first burned my neck with a cigarette.

"Arghhhhh!!" I cried out as the intense pain shoot round my body.

He didn't stop there, he drag my hair and pushed me down to fall on top mother.

"Stay away from my daughter Luca!!!" Mother was still doing all she can to protect me.

The man only smirk and loosened his belt. Like a predator, he starts advancing towards me. Each step he took clutch my heart tightly and when he finally got to me, I closed my eyes waiting for the worst to happen but

I didn't expect the next thing that happened, I heard a gun shot.

I flickered my eyes opened and sprung up from the floor, mom did too. I gasped at the shocking sight I saw, first Luca was on the ground blood oozing out of his head.

TBC...

I know it was very boring but don't worry. Next chapter, we'll be back to the De costa family.