Yes I am on drugs
Antonio pov
"let's go check what Mattoe is up to because this is becoming abnormal with all the calls and texts." Liam suggested after our sisters left.
"I Quite agree with that. Let's go." I past glances at my brothers before we proceeded to the stairs.
Getting to Matoe door, we wanted to burst it open but discovered it was locked.
I've to knock on the door urging matoe to open up but didn't responded.
"Open the door Matoe" I commanded calmly.
No response.
I knocked much louder on the door and yelled Matoe's name but still no response.
I low-key got worried for a moment until Jayden yelled angrily and kicked the door with his timber-land.
" open the bloody door Matoe!!!"
"Fuck off my bloody door guys. I demand to be alone" it was Matoe yelling back and that was strange. Matoe do gets angry but it was rare.
"You don't have a choice Matoe, fucking open the door." Liam yelled out, even though he looks angry I knew he was worried.
We all was and even though Matoe refused to open up, we stuck by the door.
Kicking, knocking and yelling at Matoe to open up but he was being a stuborn bitch.
"I've no bloody time for this."I groveled and stormed down to my office to get a silencer. I could use the gun at my pocket but it'll make an horrible sound And I don't want to get my sister terrified.
I got back at Matoe door in no time and I shoot the lock twice. The door opened and we all walked in to meet the greatest shock of my entire life.
No I am not talking about the way his room was up side down, his broken properties that was cluttered on the floor because that wasn't new but what I'll never expect or imagine was to see Matoe sitting on the bare floor taking cocaine.
Silence and tension stilled the air for a long while as we all stared flabbergasted at Matoe who in turn was staring back at us with his eyes red, white powder on his nose, his hair pointing all direction infact he was looking like how a drug addict should look-a lunatic.
"What the hell matoe?" Jayden was the first to break the silence, I was too disappointed to the point of weakness to even move my lips to speak.
"What? Why are you all looking like you seen a ghost?" Mattoe retorted back unremorseful. that enrage and hurt me at the same time.
"Matoe do you have to result to this. Seriously? What have come over you? Why the hell will you be taking drugs." Liam yelled, scolding mattoe.
"What's so wrong about taking drugs Huh?" Matt groveled, his eyes flaming at liam.
"Matoe..." I croaked. "Out of everyone I'm surprise that you are the one Doing this. How could you? Since when have this shit been going on? What the fuvk came over you. I can't believe I've been breeding a lunatic in this house. A FUCKING DRUG ADDICT" I barked beyond control and combed my fingers through my hair. "Look, I'm really so disappointed In you."
Matoe glared hard at me and then laughed like a psycho.
"Of course you should be. I mean why won't you be when it's always been about YOU, YOU, AND FUCKING YOU!!" He snapped, angrily. "You keep dishing barbaric and stupid rules just because your instinct says this and that is wrong and you wills us to abide by it without giving a single care in the world how that will affect us. You never makes any attempt to seek our opinion, because you are the eldest you deem everything you do is legit right and our opinions fucking doesn't matter" Matoe yelled all that out.
Saying I was stunned is an understatement, for a moment I lost my voice. "I don't want to know where you're getting all that from but nothing you'll say right now can justify the fact that you've been on drugs under our nose. You know how much I hate that and everyone who takes it. Harboring another drug addict is the last thing I'll do in my life Matoe so tell me you aren't an addict, or you might as well forget that you're my brother" my fist clenched right beside me as I yelled all that out. I was barely controlling my rage.
"Tsk. Seriously? Fine... after all I've done enough playing the obedient brother that you wanted but welcome to my wall bro, this is who I am. Who I've always been and Since you can't accept me for that, it's better I get going now" mattoe stood up and made to leave but Jayden stopped him by pulling him back with his arm.
"Mattoe..." to my surprise Jayden voice was soft. "Calm down and let's sort this out. First off. Since when have this been going on matt"
Mattoe glared at Jayden and then yanked his hands off.
"Since when I first experience depression and you all were busy with your fucking life to have care to notice. I turned to drugs and you know what, I don't regret that blessed day because this shit helps me a thousand ways than you all can ever do. You only good at judging, ESPECIALLY YOU ANTONIO."
Matoe pointed at me. "I can count up to a thousand times I tried to out myself to you but I couldn't do it because I know you'll already judge me before hearing me out. Do you think this is easy for me...?" His voice broke at this point, tears blurred his eyes and that automatically broke something in me. I became all emotional.
"Everyday I felt so guilty because I've failed and disappointed you guys as a brother. I felt like shit, I felt so worthless, useless and depressed yet I couldn't bring myself to stop this. I'm not saying this because I'm regretting my actions, I just want you to know that you influenced me to think all that."
Seeing Mattoe looking so broken, hurt me in the worst way possible. I felt so guilty knowing that whatever might have trigger this side of Mattoe, I'm a part of it. I've fucking hurt my younger brother, the brother I'm suppose to protect and I didn't know.
"Matoe you know that's not true." I said with a remorseful and breaking tone of voice. shaking my head, despondently " we could have still talked this out, you all of people should know that I'll listen you no matter what right?"
I know that's kind of lie. Infact a big lie but I really don't know what say right now. Mattoe is right.
"Seriously? When You kept qualifying everyone with the mentality of dad? Just because he abused drugs and behaved the way he acted, you concluded that everyone who abuses drugs will turn out that way. now tell me Antonio has there been a day when I behaved like a monster huh?" Matoe groveled, honestly with his red eyes I was beginning to see someone else instead of Matoe.
"Fucking keep your voice down Matoe. You don't want our sisters to hear all this bullshits. do you? You are fucking high on drugs!" Liam half-yelled. I don't know if he was angry at Mattoe or me? But he looks angry and weary of course.
Matoe got more enraged.
"Seriously why can jayden shout all the time but I can't? Infact You all know what?" Matoe raked his hands through his hair angrily.
"Fuck this" And We watched him rake through his lockers and bring out some bunch of keys, he dashed down to the door. We followed him asking where the fuck he's going.
I hoped he isn't about doing what I'm thinking. Ignoring us, he walked right out of the door and stormed down to the stairs, we followed yelling and calling him to come back.
"Matoe whatver you planning on doing, trust me you'll regret it later when you get back to your senses so for your good get back here let's iron this out." Liam reasoned maturely as we rushed behind Matoe but still not giving a shit, Matoe stormed out of the house.
He went to the garage and hopped on his bike.
He roared the bike to start and then turned to face us. "I'm going to have some drinks fuckers." He yelled out and zoomed off in the highest speed.
"At least wear your fucking helmet mattoe..." Jayden was yelling but mattoe dashed him a 'fuck you' finger as he completely goes out of sight.
Seriously what's with my siblings leaving the the house each time we've a misunderstanding?
Honestly, I felt so drained and down casted about everything that played today. I don't know if I'm more affected by the fact that I found my very own younger brother doing what father did that made him a monster or if I'm actually affected by all the things mattoe said. Whether they were right or wrong, they fucking stung like a bitch knowing that I've failed my brotherly duties, I've hurt Matoe and I fucking didn't know.
"Don't worry the fucker will surely come back when his sense finds him" jayden said to encourage me, giving me a comforting pat on the shoulder as we head back into the mansion.
He obviously notice my weary disposal.
"Let's just hope he doesn't run into an accident." Liam added.
"He won't. At least he isn't drunk yet. We'll go find him later and bring him back." I said.
"Liam," I turned to Liam. "You are quite close to Matoe did you know he'd been going through some shits?" I asked.
"I swear I don't. The fucker is really good at hiding." Liam replied.
I sighed in frustration. "I so fucking hate myself. What sort of brother am I to not have notice that he was going through so much, how didn't I even know he was taking drugs" I spat out angrily.
"C'mon Antonio it's not your fault. You are not A God. You shouldn't always notice everything that's about us. You have your own fucking life and your own problems, you are the reason why our father's companies are top notch. You've done a good job taking care of the family business, you can't divide yourself. It's on us to confide in you with our problems." Jayden said with a comforting smile.
I was amazed at the fact that Jayden my most toughest sibling was actually trying to comfort me right now.
"Jay is right Antonio. Don't let what Matt say get to you. As far as I'm concerned, you are the best brother anyone could ask for" Liam added with a comforting smile as he pats my shoulder.
What my brothers said nearly brought tears to my eyes. I swear their words helped in a way, even though I clearly know I've failed in terms of family affair. I've failed big time.
However I nodded with a forced smile, accepting thier compliments. "Thanks bros"
Not a second later, Two of our men rushed into the mansion kind of disrupting the moment.
It was strange for any member of the gang to come into the mansion without me sending for them and perhaps ever since we found clarrisa, I've strictly warned them all to do thier best in avoiding her. I don't want her to get scared to death.
"What the heck are you doing here?" Jayden asked before I could.
"Capo...some unknown people attack the warehouse and killed most of our men."
"What?" I yelled.
"What were you all doing?" I thundered.
"We were caught unguarded. They came with about 500 men and we were just 100 of us In sight. They came heavily prepared and before we could call for back up, they succeeded in taking down most of our men. However we were able to get One of them who's at the basement as we speak" the guy explained further.
"Fucking hell!" Jayden cursed and punched the stair protector.
" but this information could come from John. It isn't enough reason you should break the order. I warned you guys to stay off the mansion didn't I? If you've any info for me, that's why John is there." I shouted angrily.
"I'm sorry capo but John hasn't been around for quite a while Now" one of the guy fearfully said with a bow.
"What?" My brows constrict in shock and rage. "Call me John and let this be a lesson for you all to be at alert every damn time. An attack could come at any time. Be more vigilant, keep your acts up. Get more men if you have to...anyways that's a certainty. I'll talk with John about it just get me the fucker" I spat angrily and the boys bowed before leaving.
Seriously! Could this day get any worse?
"Guys you've to stay at alert now. The attack is getting a bit too frequent." I cautioned my brothers. "Don't ever go anywhere without your guns alright. We don't know who these fuckers are yet hence we need to be extra vigilant"