Chapter 55 - Vampire Talks

Elmenhilde Karnstein was beginning to get used to the Seraphim Princess's secret base.

It was nonsensical in its design and construction however there was something of a pattern to it.

Opening doors with lights floating around it is a no no. When going down a hallway without an end, simply turn around while thinking of the room you want to go to and the door will appear. Don't leave the doors nor windows open as wild animals will come in without any fear.

Of course, there were a few more rules Elmenhilde had figured out and even more that she hadn't but at the very least these ones kept her safe from pissing off all the Fairies in the area. One of them even complained that the only reason she was still breathing was because she was a guest Cebrail personally invited!

She hasn't figured out how to actually leave yet since venturing too far away from the house is another thing that would piss off the Fairies.

It isn't as though Elmenhilde really wanted to leave just yet though she had made a deal with a strange purple-haired fairy girl to bring her a few human bodies every now and then so her hunger shouldn't be that bad. Though she had to admit that it was pretty lonely.

Right now she was digging through the fridge pulling out a long and slender human leg. It was quite pristine likely a leg belonging to a young woman in her prime.

Unfortunate but man-eating Fairies and Vampires need to eat too.

"How am I gonna heat this thing up I wonder…" Elmenhilde mumbled to herself looking at the frozen leg. "Perhaps I can try defrosting then cooking it?"

Closing the door to the fridge the Vampire suddenly saw something in her peripheral vision surprising her and causing her to jump with a slight yelp.

The girl which had surprised the Vampire also jumped slightly despite her stone face not changing at all.

"How can you even do that?" Elmenhilde said with a sigh now holding her chest slightly. If her heart beat it would probably be quite fast.

As a Vampire, she definitely isn't used to being snuck up on.

"How do I do what?" Cebrail asked with a small head tilt.

"You know that I am a Vampire right?"

"Obviously."

"I have all the classic powers. Super strength, speed, and endurance. Along with super senses like smelling and hearing."

"Yes, I know of those powers."

"So how can you sneak up on me like that???" Elmenhilde questioned visibly confused.

"…That…That wasn't me sneaking though…" Cebrail seemed genuinely confused about what Elmenhilde really meant. "Is this some kind of code?"

"Somehow I can't tell if you're stupid or naive but you're still just so cute~ It heals my soul~" Elmenhilde fawned over Cebrail much to the Angels' confusion.

"I have a limited amount of time today so let's start our lessons quickly." Cebrail said deciding to ignore the fact that Elmenhilde had implied she might be stupid.

"Ah, okay~"

(She was really serious about learning the path to hedonism…)

Elmenhilde took a few moments to think and threw the human leg back into the fridge.

"Right! The first thing you need to do is smile more!" Elmenhilde said with a snap of her fingers. She actually had no idea about how to turn Cebrail into a proper hedonist but she very much wanted to see the Seraphim Princess smile.

"Impossible."

"Huh? Why?"

"People often say that my smile is too serpent-like and doesn't suit me at all. I don't like it."

(Somehow that just makes me want to see it more.) Elmenhilde thinks licking her lips a bit.

"It can't be that bad~ at the very least try and I can try to help you from there." Elmenhilde coaxed Cebrail. While she didn't know her well enough to know exactly how to coax the Angel, she didn't think that it would hurt to try.

"Mmm…well fine I guess…" Cebrail relented rather easily as if it was for the sake of living a good life she felt that she had to try. It was one of her few principles afterall.

After Cebrail forced a smile on her face Elmenhilde found that the Seraphim Princesses previous words weren't just from something like embarrassment. She really had the smile of a snake.

In a way she looked completely different from her normal self, mischievous, cunning, and untrustworthy were how Elmenhilde would describe Cebrail's current appearance.

"Err…" Elmenhilde didn't know what to say. She didn't dislike it at all, in fact a teasing and sadistic Cebrail sounded really hot actually.

(She even uses a whip…) Elmenhilde could get the image of Cebrail walking all over people whip in hand out of her mind.

"I told you." Cebrail's smile dropped back into her normal neutral expression as she mistook Elmenhilde's silence as affirmation to her smile being bad.

"A-Ah! No! It's actually not that bad! Personally I'd love it if you smiled at me like that normally!"

"…" Cebrail somehow didn't like how the Vampire said that, perhaps it was because the Vampire was treating her like a child despite being one herself.

(Is this how that idiot Rias feels when she speaks to me?) Cebrail considered it for a moment but soon discarded the thought. (I sometimes forget that it's pointless to try and understand the thought process of a moron.)

"Have you ever heard, a wise man once said 'It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.' It's said George Washingtub." Cebrail said with her eyebrows set in a light V.

"D-Did you just call him 'George WashingTUB?'" Elmenhilde asked in disbelief.

"Yes of course. Do you not know him? The first president of America, I learned about him in school." Cebrail crossed her arms and while her expression did not change there was a distinct twinge of pride in her voice.

(Should I correct her? But that's soooo~ cuteeee~ she actually thinks his last name is Washingtub!) Elmenhilde was now under a rather massive dilemma. If she didn't inform Cebrail now she might have the opportunity to hear her say it again on the other hand if she found out later she might get mad at Elmenhilde.

(Wait…isn't that a win win for me? Awww~ she'll probably scold me for not correcting her now~)

"Yes~ Yes~ you're right Cebrail~"

Cebrail narrowed her eyes at the Vampires coaxing before pulling out her phone in a sudden fit of self doubt.

"…" The Seraphim Princess stared at her phone and slowly a blush of embarrassment crept onto her face.

"Pfft-" Seeing the look on Cebrail's face Elmenhilde could barely hold back her laughter and as a bit of it came out she covered her mouth with her hand.

Hearing it however, Cebrail's head shot up from her phone to stare at the Vampire.

"…"

"Sorry~ pfft, sorry~"

"…"

"It's-It's a reasonable mistake to make!"

"You're making fun of me." Cebrail said seriously though her small blush was in rather sharp contrast to her annoyed stare.

Honestly, Cebrail hadn't been taking school all that seriously since she had already gone to school in her previous life however the history was vastly different between her world and this one. In her world, there were no presidents, no dictators, nor kings, or queens. All people were under a single authority and that was the authority of the Church. If she didn't want to end up with an F in history like Rias Gremory she would indeed have to try a bit harder, this was her vow to herself.

"N-No~"

Seemingly having enough of Elmenhilde's laughter Cebrail grabs her nose, pinching it and shaking her head around lightly.

"This is MY secret base, you can't make fun of me here. It's a rule." Cebrail childishly made up a silly rule on the spot and continued to shake Elmenhilde around by the nose her pinch growing stronger.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I understand Cebrail! Please stop~" Elmenhilde didn't need to breathe and her pain tolerance was quite good so having her nose pinched was nothing, however, she felt that by placating the Seraphim Princess she might get something more.

Cebrail's eyebrow twitched at the sound of the Vampires voice. The way she was begging made the Seraphim Princess quite uncomfortable.

"Why do you sound like you're enjoying this? Can you simply take pleasure in anything? Must I make your punishment more severe?" Cebrail questions pulling and pushing the Vampire by her nose casually as though she were trying to shake some sense into the perverted Vampire.

(Yessss~)

"Ahh~ no! I'll learn my lesson~!" Elmenhilde cried though she didn't sound like she was in pain at all. This irritated Cebrail quite a bit more however she didn't really know how to punish someone really besides maiming or brutalizing them.

(I'll have to figure out how to punish this cheeky Vampire for her antics once she becomes my subordinate.) Cebrail made a mental note to buy a whip without holy properties for the sake of not leaving any scars.

*Ring* *Ring* *Ring* *Ring*

Interrupting the two girls Cebrail's phone went off with a small tune drawing her attention away from the Vampire as she takes it out.

"Hmmm…" The Seraphim Princess hummed to herself upon seeing that it was her alarm going off signifying that it was time for her appointment. "How tedious. I've been so busy these days…"

Cebrail was quite annoyed by her schedule growing so cluttered. It seemed like the days of just lazing around with her mother were so long ago already.

"Huh? You have to go already?"

"Indeed."

"Where are you going? Can I come by chance?"

"I'm headed to a church for a family visit. A fight is very likely to break out and you cannot intervene."

"That's fine!" Elmenhilde in truth was feeling a bit stuffy. Despite the size of the house, staying in it without being able to go anywhere was suffocating, and with no one to talk to besides a few Fairies that could just barely speak a language made by humans that she could understand it was even worse.

She was quite the social butterfly afterall she really couldn't stand it when things were so quiet.

Of course… she had ulterior motives as well so gathering her cloak she returned back to Cebrail and stepped on the Seraphim Princesses shadow allowing herself to slowly sink into the darkness.

"How interesting. Let us 'blow this popsicle stand' as they say."

"Cebrail…How old are you?"

"Who knows." Seeing Elmenhilde fully sink into her shadow she stepped on it a few times visibly interested in such a phenomenon.

"You mean you don't know how old you are?"

"Indeed, usually you keep track with birthdays and the changing of the seasons however Heaven does not have time that passes and changes things. It's a stagnant place in which nothing grows or changes. A perfect place for Angels." Cebrail explained simply. "Also… I've had around 77 birthdays but… obviously I'm not 77 years old. Probably…"

Indeed her mother Gabriel like most Angels copied Humans and how they do things in some effort to comfort themselves when it comes to God's death as well as be closer to Humans. However, just like most Angels, she was incapable of properly understanding 'the point' of the things Humans did or make. Like why do Angels use flying cars when they can fly themselves?

The point of a car is to travel around faster and more efficiently but Angels could not properly understand this fact.

Gabriel simply sees birthdays as 'a celebration of life' and so she celebrated Cebrail's life as much as she could. It was sweet but… the issue with having so many birthdays should be obvious.

"Oh… well at least you're loved huh? We Vampires don't really have parents in our lives. It's not good to get so attached, or so my mother told me." Though Elmenhilde's tone was casual and normal within the shadow she was drooling as she stared up under Cebrail's skirt.

Gripping her fist and letting out a single tear she grit her teeth in frustration. (Biker shortssssss!!!!!)

It seems like this Vampire noble really can't catch a break on her Angel simping quest!

"I see, how unfortunate. You too are a fatherless child. Why is that so prevalent these days?"

Elmenhilde blinked in the shadow as she felt like an insult was coming.

"No wonder you're so strange."

And there it was.

"…" Elmenhilde covered her mouth to prevent herself from laughing once again.

(I think perhaps Cebrail watches too much TV.)