Chapter 38: Drew.

Chapter 38: Drew.

"Oh My God we should all get matching tattoos." Adam suggests.

"No." Hannah and I say at the same time, making us look at each other before we burst into laughter.

"Come on guys, it'll be fun." He says, trying to sway us.

"No way, my mother would kill me." Hannah tells him.

"That's the thrill of it all." He says with a huge smile.

"You're insane." I tell him.

"Do you know how many girls I could get if I had a huge back tattoo or even better, a neck tattoo? I'd look so badass." He says, taking a sip of the Sprite in front of him.

"And not all girls like guys with tattoos." I tell him.

"Exactly." Hannah adds.

"Some do." Adam says, winking at me.

"Okay, keep that energy away from me." I tell him with a terrified look in my eyes.

"Come on, Val. We can get something that means a lot to the three of us." He suggests.

"Like Infinity sign tattoos." He adds.

"That'd look pretty cool. I could get it on my forearm." I say, considering the idea.

"Ugh, don't indulge him." Hannah says, smacking my arm.

"You know you wanna do it." Adam tells Hannah and she scowls at him.

"Let's just do it." I tell Hannah and she raises an eyebrow at me.

"It's going to only hurt a little bit." I tell her.

Fast forward to two hours later, that shit hurt like a bitch.

I got the infinity symbol on my left forearm. Adam got his tattoo on his collarbone and he almost cried. And Hannah got hers on her shoulder. I also got my belly button pierced.

I know what you're thinking.

Valarie, you've changed.

Valarie, you're just acting out because you miss Zach.

Fuck that.

This is the new Valarie.

Love her or hate her.

I walk through my front door and I see my mother in the living room, I try to rush upstairs before she sees me but I'm too slow.

"Val, is that you?" She yells from the living room.

"Yes, mother." I shout from the door.

"Come to the living room." She yells again.

I curse under my breath as I approach the living room.

"What have you been up to?" She asks me.

Can we not have this conversation right now?

"I...um... I just got some burgers at HOC with Adam and Hannah. Nothing spectacular." I say, placing my left arm behind my back.

"What are you hiding back there?" My mother asks me.

I'll just tell her the truth, I'm sick of hiding stuff from her.

"Okay, mother. I know you're totally going to freak out but I'm just gonna tell you anyway." I say as I slowly take my arm from behind me and put it in full view.

"Is that?" She asks, her breath hitching. I nod slowly. "A tattoo?" She says grabbing my arm.

"Ouch." I wince in pain.

"Oh, I'm so sorry honey. I didn't mean to." She says, keeping her hands to herself.

"And before you finish freaking out. There's another thing." I say as I lift my hoodie up, showing her my stomach.

"You got your belly button pierced?" She says, staring at my stomach with wide eyes.

"Yes." I tell her, pulling my hoodie down.

"Who are you becoming, Valarie?" She asks me, folding her arms.

"The same person I've always been. It's just a tattoo and one piercing." I say, shrugging.

"And hair dye and getting lap dances from celebrities." She says, glaring at me.

"Oh, you saw that?" I say, biting my lip.

"Of course, I saw that." She says, touching her forehead.

"Chill out mom, it's not like I'm pregnant or something. I'm just trying to get out of my comfort zone before college." I tell her.

"For all I know you could even be pregnant. Have you and Zachary been using protection? Let's go get you a pregnancy test." My mother says, grabbing my arm.

Protection?

"Whoa, slow down. Zachary and I aren't even together anymore." I tell her.

"That doesn't mean you're not getting it on with somebody else." My mother says pulling me towards the front door.

"For real Mom, I'm not pregnant." I tell her. Those words sound so weird coming out of my mouth.

"But are you being safe?" She asks again.

"I don't need to be safe." I tell her and she stares at me. "Because I'm a virgin, mom. Jesus." I add.

"You had me worried for a second." My mother says, sighing in relief.

"Can I go up to my room now?" I ask her.

"Sure. Real housewives is on right now, so you can go do whatever kids your age do these days." She says and I raise an eyebrow at her.

I'll just go up to my room and smoke some pot since it's what kids are doing these days.

Kids out here are wild.

I walk up the stairs to my room and I see Zachary on my bed.

"Out." I yell at him.

"Just hear me out." He says and I literally start pushing him towards the window.

"Drew's dead." He says and my blood runs cold.

"W-what are you talking about?" I ask him, tears in my eyes.

"I...um....I...." He tries to say but breaks down in tears instead.

I wrap my arms around him and I cry into his chest.

This isn't happening right now.

First, my mother suffers a heart attack and now Zachary's son is dead.

Good job, Langston.

You've really fucked me up this time.

Here's to future therapy sessions.

"What happened?" I ask him after a while.

"I fed him and I um, I went to take a shower and when I came back he was foaming in the mouth laying on his stomach." He tells me and that makes me cry some more.

"It's not your fault." I tell him, touching his arm. He pulls my hand away from his. I can see him blaming himself for what happened and it literally hurts my heart seeing him like this.

"It is." He says as he starts sobbing again.

I climb on his lap, straddling him as I bury his face on my shoulder, patting his back.

"No, it's not." I whisper in his ear as I wipe my tear-stained cheeks.

"You don't know that. Everything I touch I ruin. I mean look at you, I ruined you and now I killed my own son." He says, tightening his grip on me as he sobs.

"You didn't ruin me." I tell him.

"Yes, he did." My subconscious tells me.

Not now, inner Valarie.

"I should probably go jump off a cliff and end this misery." He says and I hold his face in my hands.

"Don't say that. You're not going to kill yourself over this. Yes, he was your son, but it wasn't your fault. I don't know what God's plan is for us but it'll all be clear in the future." I tell him.

He scoffs.

"The future? Don't you think Drew had a future too? But look at what happened to him." He says in anger.

"Calm down, don't get all riled up about this. I get that you're upset but you need to calm down." I tell him as I try to climb off his body. He holds me in place.

"Don't go. Please." He begs.

I do as I am told and I stay there letting him wrap his huge arms around me.

"I don't deserve your support, Vee." He whispers to himself but I catch on to it.

"Yes, you do." I reply.

"No, he doesn't." My subconscious chips in.

She's doing the most right now.

***

A few days ago, the results of the autopsy came in and it states that Drew suffered a seizure that caused him to foam in the mouth, convulse and die.

I still can't believe he's gone.

I literally just had him in my arms about two weeks ago.

Life isn't promised, kids.

I pat the beauty blender under my eyelid to cover the puffiness of my eyes.

Yes, I have been crying.

The whole grade is coming to the funeral today and we're wearing white to honor Drew. The ceremony is being held in the gym before we lay him down beside Zachary's grandfather at the local cemetery.

I grab my purse and head out the door. I reach the school building in like fifteen minutes. The fleet of cars parked in the parking lot is alarming. I didn't know people in our grade had this many cars.

I get out of the car and tell Andrè not to bother about picking me up since Zachary said he was going to give me a ride back home.

This is literally the last place I would want to be.

At a baby's funeral.

Babies are a symbol of hope and life, how could Drew die? He was so healthy. The way he giggled when you rubbed his stomach would make anyone laugh. I'm happy that I got to know Drew in the little time he spent in this world.

That kid would have been the next Bill Gates or even better, found the cure for cancer.

The world definitely lost a gem.

I stroll slowly towards the school's gym and when I get inside all I see is white. It literally looks like heaven. White ribbons are hanging from the ceiling, there are white roses everywhere, and there is a huge flower arrangement that spells out the word "DREW."

"You made it." Hannah says, smiling at me.

"Of course I made it." I tell her as I give her a hug.

"This is so sad.." Hannah says with her eyes on the floor.

"Let's get to our seats before the proceedings start." I tell her as we head to the front row.

Zachary walks in a few minutes later and he obviously turns a lot of heads as he is dressed in a black suit. It is tailored to perfection and has a shimmery finish.

Zachary Henderson always has to make an entrance.

Even at his own son's funeral.

"Technically, it's not his son's funeral. Drew wasn't his." My subconscious counters.

Oh, shut up.

"How are you holding up?" I ask him as he sits beside me.

I take a second glance at his outfit and I see that he's wearing the cufflinks I got him for his birthday.

I don't think his girlfriend would fully approve of that, but oh well.

"Been better." He says, his voice cracking at the end.

"Is Sierra coming?" I ask him.

"She didn't know Drew, so I didn't think it was a good idea for her to be present." He shrugs.

Good.

"That's a shame. I really wanted to see her again." I lie.

"Sure." He says, rolling his eyes.

"For real." I say, laughing.

"Ahem." Someone says into the mic and I stare at the stage immediately.

I see Chad and De'Andre standing there with microphones in their hands. They better not fuçk this up.

"First and foremost, we just want to say, Drew was a ray of sunshine and he really brought out the responsible side of shitface right here." Chad says and everyone laughs.

"Although Drew's life was short, the way he made us feel will go a long way." De'Andre says and we all cheer.

"We have prepared a special number for Drew. It's called "Hey Drew"." Chad says and I stare at them in confusion.

"You know that Beatles song 'Hey Jude', it's exactly like that. We just switched Jude with Drew." Chad adds.

These two.

The music starts and I put a hand over my face.

Oh, brother.

De'Andre and Chad start singing the song in the worst key ever. I just block them out as I scan around the room.

At the entrance, I see Stephanie standing there in a blue sweater and ripped jeans. Her face looks puffy and her hair is shorter.

"Oh, hell to the no." I say, charging towards her.

I feel a hand on my waist, stopping me in my tracks.

"Slow down, tiger." Zachary says in my ear.

"What do you mean by slow down? What is she doing here?" I ask him.

"I invited her." He tells me and I stare at him in shock.

"She stole your money and left her son for dead. She's a gold-digging, lying piece of shit." I say, literally fuming.

"I didn't leave my son for dead." Stephanie says, walking towards me.

The music stops and everyone looks at us.

"Yes, you did." I say, trying to release myself from Zachary's grip.

I'll beat this bítch up.

"I left Drew with Zachary because I found out about his condition." She says as she starts crying.

"What condition?" I ask her, folding my arms.

"I found out that he was epileptic when he was born. I kept it a secret from Zachary because Drew wasn't his and he didn't need to know. I ran away because I knew that sooner rather than later Zachary was going to find out the truth. And I'd rather have my son die in a golden crib than in the back of a van." She says, wiping her nose.

"You really are deranged. You left your son. You knew that he was ill, yet you bolted. You didn't look back and now he's dead. Congratulations Steph, the mother of the year award goes to you." I say, clapping my arms.

"Stephanie, I can't believe you would do this." Hannah says walking towards her.

"Hannah I..." Stephanie is cut off by Hannah's hand on her cheek.

Damn, that's gonna leave a mark.

"I never want to see you again." Hannah tells her before she storms out.

"Zachary, I really thought that if-" She is cut off by Zachary's hand in her face.

"You owe me four hundred thousand dollars. I need it by morning." He tells her.

"Zach it's not-" She tries to speak but Zachary gives her a death stare.

"Leave." He tells her and she shudders in fear.

"B-but Drew....my son is dead." She says as she starts crying again.

"If only you had been a mother to him, these tears would be more believable." Zachary tells her, his tone ice cold.

"I had to leave, Zach. I needed to." She tells him.

"Well, you need to leave this place right now or I'll call security. Do you really want to be dragged out of the building?" He asks her, flashing her a small smile.

Damn, he's evil.

Why is that so hot?

Chill out, Valarie. You're at a baby's funeral for God's sake.

"Fine." She says as she turns on her heel and heads for the exit.

"I'll need my money by morning." He yells at her.

She doesn't reply as she walks out the door.

"Carry on." He tells De'Andre and Chad.

They don't hesitate as they continue singing the song.

I just stare at Zachary, totally stunned.