35. Don’t be too stubborn!

Antonie made the illusion that it was him who did it and he endured all my father's mistakes so I hated him. He was too coward as a matter of fact." I said.

I laughed, amused if I had to remember Antonie who used a child's body, with his mouth full from chewing the sweets I gave him. Hoping to escape the punishment by using that body, but the chubby cat thwarted his spell, so the process of transferring his spirit didn't work perfectly. "He is that wooden doll, the reason I took the offer to be Azalea's subordinate and did all her orders so that Azalea took care of him."

"You like him?" I turned around when I heard the question.

"He was my first love and I still can't get over him." I laughed at my feelings.

Shashin's expression was pitiful. "Ugh, I am rejected," He said, dramatizing the situation.

"You can't get married, it will be me that is confused if I like you. My feelings will be hung like laundry on the line for the rest of my life" I shut my mouth up, muted, and my eyes widened. Those words just flew out of my mouth. "Ahh!" I panicked, putting my face down and feeling upset for myself. It was so embarrassing.

Time passed in silence. I tilted my head up. Shashin smiled sweetly at me although I knew there was a certain feeling he was hiding from me. When he remained silent, I broke it, "If only I could choose what kind of life I would have, or"

"If you were able to choose, you wouldn't be in this place" He was right. I might be in my class right now or enjoying a cup of coffee in a café. "Don't regret things that have happened. Simply do the best you still can do," He requested, ruffling my hair

"Actually, I am coming here for hiding" I wanted to be honest with him. "My coming here may pose a danger to you all, for the second time." Suddenly I remembered when Shashin was in the treatment room, and so much blood was in the hall when that incident took place.

"There is a creature called Nympha, that the timekeepers called it. It was the one who asked the wandering spirit to carry out the murder. He was also the one who carried out the massacre of mixed-bloods, forty years ago when my grandmother was still around. Grandma couldn't handle it, and neither could Antonie," I said. "Azalea asked me to read and study some notes about the incident, but still she hasn't given me the assignment."

Shashin looked really shocked when I told him. "I know about it," he said, his expression horrified. "Those creatures seem to be capable of killing, without even touching their victims. All those who died were mixed-bloods, and strangely the wizards or humans living here weren't affected." I could clearly see the horror of that period of time on his face.

"Naar, I am of half-blood. You know that I have wizard blood even though I don't have any magic ability" I knew this was not a small matter, it was a terrible thing. "Antonie asked me to use Falak to hide."

"Then hide here" He seemed enthusiastic about the idea, it seemed Antonie and Shashin had some resemblance; they both were strange. "Don't go too far without an escort. Don't take on errands outside of camp, and if you have to leave, don't go alone. If necessary, I will accompany you."

I hit his head, then exclaimed in annoyance. "Hey!! Why don't you just put me in another hell, if it has to be like that?!"

He widened his eyes. "I was worried, you know?!" he shouted.

"What do I care!" I replied with a shout too. "I will finish everything." This was a promise I made to myself.

"Don't be too stubborn! Do what I advise you to do!" He looked irritated.

"I have the Manji, you remember?!" He was silent, just stared at me deeply. "I can kill Yon, and calm Aras. Not only that, but I also have a strategy that is even better than Yoru, don't underestimate me." I said arrogantly, even though that wasn't my goal, I just wanted to reassure him.

"I know Azalea has a special reason if she is going to give me a task, for that, I believe that she has calculated that I can complete it," I said confidently.

I wanted Shashin to believe that I was capable and that I could finish it. I was strong. I wanted to be an eagle. I wanted to be healed by facing all my fears and problems, not running away like a coward. I felt that I could do it, and I would show it for that.

"Zie has come into my life, filling my bad days. I would keep to this day everything he gave to me. I will use all my strength to become a better person. I'm not a coward who will run away, I will deal with it my way! " Shashin ruffled my hair again, and a sweet smile stuck to his lips. For some reason I just wanted to see that sweet smile every time, also the pair of emeralds that I liked him.

The settlement of mixed blood was not too far from Alpha Camp. Even though we had to go through the forest, the road we were taking was the same route to the city to buy necessities. I was off duty today as all the preparations for winter had been completed. Somehow, I could not be away for too long. I had to be back before the light in the sky was gone or I would find it difficult to find my way home due to the dark.

Early in the morning, I went with Mickey to the place. Leaving a message for Ane that I would only be gone for a while. Two guards asked me where I was going, and I said to look for mushrooms. And to my surprise, they just believed me and then let me go.

I knew of no mushrooms that grew in these conditions. The snow was almost knee-deep and the air was very cold. Even though the storm had stopped, it didn't mean it would not come again. I knew I didn't have much time, so I walked quickly.