I-Flight

JOHN

I gently opened my eyes and reached for my alarm clock as it continued to sound. I quickly turned it off and glanced at it. It's already three o'clock in the morning. Sure, I'm flying to Italy today for a holiday. I must arrive early at the airport because my one-way flight is 13 hours and 36 minutes long.

I was about to get up when I felt something wrapped around my waist. I turned around only to see Hanz, my unfaithful and careless husband. Hanz was giving me a hug, so I carefully released his grip and stood up. When I got to my feet, I looked at him and noticed that he had hickeys virtually all over his body, including his neck, chest, abdomen, and V-Line.

The fact that he did it again made it feel as though my heart was being squeezed. He almost always gets home drunk after having sex at the gay club where he frequently hangs out. But right now, I don't want to be influenced because I'm sick of everything. I'm sick of managing our relationship—understanding, pleading, and everything.

I regret letting him treat me that way, but I can't blame myself for loving him so much. He was my first date, my first kiss, my first lover, my first love—in other words, he was practically everything I had ever done before, and he was unquestionably my biggest mistake.

I made my way naked to the restroom in silence and slow motion. The shower started spraying me with chilly water as I switched it on. I asked myself, "Why is this happening to me? Do I deserve this?" as I was immersing myself. Almost every negative thing in life has happened to me since I was a young child.

Seeing that I could not possibly leave this situation, I took a big breath. Since time and fate are working against me, perhaps Hanz and I are not destined to be together—perhaps I deserve more. I used to claim that I had finally discovered the ideal person for me—someone who would cherish me and provide me with the attention and love I most desperately needed. It now seemed doubtful that we were destined to be together after everything that transpired during our five years of marriage.

I turned to the mirror after getting out of the shower and stared at my own reflection as I cleaned my hair with a white towel. With only seventeen days of vacation, can I completely heal? I wondered if I avoided him, will I be able to move on? Out of perplexity, I rolled my eyes.

I need to get dressed before Hanz wakes up. Hanz, incidentally, was unaware that I was leaving because I intended to flee all by myself. After using the bathroom, I changed into some of my best outfits for the airport. My phone vibrated as I was focusing on preparing myself. I quickly took it out of my pocket and noticed that Renee had texted me.

My best friend Renee is the person I always turn to when I'm having problems because she always has my back, never gives up on me, and never leaves. She is never bored with me for being a lifelong moron. When I call her, she sometimes already knows that I'm having a problem, so she always gives me the location and time of our meeting.

I smiled as I read her text, telling me that she was waiting for me in the parking lot and that she didn't bother calling me so she wouldn't wake Hanz. I answered Renee's text message by putting my fingertip directly on the phone screen and beginning to type. I said that I would be down in a moment and that I had one more thing to do before I left.

I give myself one last look in the mirror to make sure I'm okay to look at. My preferred attire is a brown short-sleeved suit that goes with my spectacles. I groaned and turned to face a table with an envelope in it. I approached, got a pen, and signed the divorce documents.

I've finally decided what I want to do after six months. I gathered my belongings and headed out the door, but not before taking one last look around the room.

"I'll miss this place and the memories," I remarked. I can't believe I won't be returning to this place any more; for a while, it was my home.

I ran to the elevator and eventually stepped outside the condominium unit. Samuel greeted me right away when I walked in. Samuel, one of these elevator boys, is a kind man, respectful, and very approachable. Because of his social abilities and approachability, he has friends among practically everyone who resides in this community.

Renee was waiting as I reached for my phone and sent her a text to let her know I was on my way. Samuel abruptly asked me a question after I had already sent the message and had put my phone back in my pocket. "Sir John, it's not like I'm meddling in your affairs with boss Hanz-zam," he said. I burst out in laughter. Hanz is a mestizo with mixed American and Spanish ancestry. Because of this—cringe—Samuel refers to him as boss Hanz-zam.

Samuel continued, "But I think, Sir John, your decision to stay away and unwind first is the right choice. You deserve peace, and you deserve to find the happiness you once had, because since the day Boss Hanz-zam cheated on you, you've changed, and a lot of people are worried about you, and nearly all the staff here felt strange to the quiet and emotionless John." I know he has no right to tell me that because it's my business, but Samuel is correct. The day I learned that Hanz had been having an extramarital affair with his secretary for three years, I lost my old self.

Samuel is aware of this since he has always seen the man arrive home intoxicated with numerous scratches on his neck and chest. Samuel has also seen that Hanz occasionally does not realize that his zipper is open or unlocked due to intoxication.

Samuel is aware of how I felt at the time and of how much pain I was in. Hanz chose to ignore all of that, which is what hurts. Since I know Samuel was concerned for me as well, I can't hold him responsible for telling me those things. He resembles my late brother, and he is obviously like him as well.

I grinned at Sam and said, "It's okay, Sam, and I appreciate you telling me all that." I could tell he was glad when I said it by the expression on his face.

"Sir John, are you still coming back here?" he inquired. He treated me like an older brother, so it was a little challenging for me to tell the truth. I deliberated what to say.

"To tell you honestly, Sam, I don't know. You know Hanz owns everything we have, and after this, I don't know if I'll ever get anything back. But don't worry, I'll try everything I can; I'll be back before you know it," I told him. He smiled as the elevator rang and opened. I was about to leave when I thought of something I almost forgot to say and give to Hanz. 

"And Sam? Please don't tell Hanz that I left; if he ever asks you about me, just tell him you didn't see me or know about my sudden leave, okay?" He nodded as his answer. I immediately handed him an envelope, which surprised him.

"Congratulations, brother, and good luck on your journey," I said to him with a smile, then completely left.

As soon as Renee spotted me exiting the building, she waved and came over to me. Renee was waiting in front of her car.

I asked her as she stared at herself, "Holy C-, what are you wearing?" with a laugh.

"I have no time to prepare since, as you know, I'm really slow as the sloths, so that's why I'm only wearing my pajamas. I came here immediately after getting up." I loaded my baggage into the back of her car while she was still speaking.

In addition, she said, "I'm married, and only my husband deserves to see my beauty, therefore I have nothing to worry about."

We were silent for a few seconds after I placed my baggage in the back of her car before understanding that I was actually leaving. I laughed when I heard her say, "I don't know why, but every time your marriage has problems, I always get involved. Is it truly final? Because if your husband bugs me endlessly, you're definitely dead." She was right when she remarked that I constantly caused her to become involved in our issues. I apologized to her and attempted a false smile, explaining that since I don't have a family, she is the only person I can turn to for anything. She gave me a brief embrace out of the blue and started messing with my hair as soon as she let go of me.

She jokingly remarked, "You know what? It's okay if you have me involved with you all the time so that you have someone to sympathize with; that's what friends are for, right? And I'm sorry if I said nasty words to you, but you know me right, I'm a decent person," and I chuckled.

I returned her a hug in such a way that it was difficult to breathe, and she might have passed out. I let go laughing as she sarcastically asked, "B-beshie, are you trying to murder me?" she inhaled deeply.

As we both entered her car, she remarked angrily, "Well, come on, maybe you'll miss your flight." We remained silent the entire journey; nobody spoke until...

After hearing her say, "So, you finally made up your mind?" I looked at Renee and nodded with a false smile on my lips.

Renee continued, exhaling deeply. "I didn't really expect something like this to happen, especially to the two of you. You two have always been nice to one another, especially in high school. You people make an effort to avoid conflict at all costs. Even I was taken aback when I learned that Hanz had cheated on you. Even though we've discussed it a lot, nothing seems to stick in my mind, so I'm still holding out hope that you two can work things out."

Renee, too, believes that everything is fixable. But what about me? I'm not sure—Hanz caused me so much trauma and caused me so much pain. After all of that, I'm not sure I can handle it any longer, because no matter how hard I try to please Hanz and do everything for him, he will not change, and at the end of the day, he will just do it again and again.

I just can't do it any longer; it's exhausting, especially since I'm the only one who put in the effort to repair our relationship.

"I can't, Renee. I wish I could, but I can't anymore. I think I'm better off without him. I'm done loving him; it's time to embrace and value myself as well. I want to do what I want without him, and I believe it's better that way because I was clouded for how many years because of him." I recover quickly, sensing Renee's disappointment.

"But after I move on, I'll talk to him in order to settle things up; I want us to remain friends so the four of us don't feel awkward." Renee nodded and smiled gently at me.

"Do you want something to eat?" she asked, and I nodded, and at the same time we stopped at a fast food drive-through; she ordered a breakfast meal, and we also stopped by our favorite park to eat our breakfast. We talked and ate for a few minutes before heading to the airport.

I was sitting quietly in Renee's car, leaning my head into the glass window and admiring the sky. It's the golden hour, and the sun is set to rise, and the light is tinged with red and gold.

My phone rang as soon as we arrived at the airport, so I took it out of my pocket to check the caller ID. Hanz is calling; it took me about a minute to disconnect the call and place my phone in airplane mode.

"So this is it, John; everything is settled; all you have to do is get on the plane," Renee said. I hugged her and nodded. "Thank you so much; I'll see you soon," I told her as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Promise me you'll come back and that you'll have finally forgotten Hanz by the time you come back," she said, patting my back. We let go of each other's arms.

"That might be difficult, Renee," I admitted, "but I'll do my best."

"I know," she replied. We chat for a while longer until it's time for me to get on the plane.

I went in and looked for my seat right away, but the path was very crowded, so I had to squeeze in to pass. There was a man who didn't notice me and kept working on his luggage.

"Excuse me," I said, but he wasn't paying attention.

"Ahemm! Excuse me, may I pass?" I asked, as he turned to face me. I gulped as I continued to stare at him, and he returned my gaze. Because he was wearing a hat and mask, I couldn't see his face. But I got the impression that a lot of women were into him because of his stunning physique. This guy is a hunk, no doubt about it.

"Ah, excuse me; didn't you say you were passing through?" I snapped back to reality as soon as he spoke. Did I spaced out while staring at his body?

"I'm sorry, hehe," I said as I finally made my way to my seat, but the man was too big, so we got a little close. I could feel his abs as well as her chest, and I didn't think he smelled so good.

When I arrived at my seat, I took a deep breath and sat down. But I didn't realize the man and I were seated next to each other. Anyway, the flight is still a while away, so I'll just take a moment. I closed my eyes and relaxed. It's time for a nap first. I'm still sleep-deprived.