Chapter 21 (M)

At this point in his life, Ari couldn't help but let out a little sour laugh.

Everything was shifting left and right as if the world was melting all around him. His vision was a tad bit blurry, and he honestly didn't know where he was going. All he knew was that he needed a place to gather himself and calm himself down before anything disastrous happens, but that was easier said than done.

He hated everything about how affected he was by pheromones. His whole body was fluctuating from hot to cold and then back to hot. It was hard to walk since all of his energy felt like it was being sapped away and all he wanted to do was fall flat on his face on the cold marble floor, but he was lucid enough to know that he couldn't.

Not yet anyway.

There were still people around as far as he knows, but he doesn't know how far he actually walked. He could be on the other side of the mansion where he shouldn't be, but that was the least of his concerns as he tried one of the doors.

Locked.

Maybe he really shouldn't be here, but that didn't stop him from trying another door, though.

"Please," He breathed out resting his forehead on the door as he held the handle and spoke as if he was uttering a prayer. "Open."

Turning it, he discovered that it was locked as well and he felt like he could just collapse on the floor any minute now. The distant sound of a click echoed in his head as he felt like he was floating and about to fall backwards, but a hand caught him before he did.

Something fell right beside him, but he didn't get the chance to see what it was as he found himself being pulled inside.

Everything became quiet with his gasps being the only sound in that room, and a shadow in an already dim lit room loomed over him.

Ari couldn't help but laugh in disbelief. "It can't be you again."

"But it is." Looking up, Ari could confirm that yes. It was him. The very same person who he keeps meeting whenever everything goes wrong. "And it seems to me that you're in a bit of a situation here."

Swallowing at the heat gathering in the pit of his stomach, Ari sighed pressing himself to the wall. "Aren't I always in a situation when you're around?"

"Seems so."

"Constantine," Ari gulped feeling like everything is slipping out of his control. He didn't even question why Constantine was in the room, he didn't even realize what Constantine had done before he pulled him in. All he knew was that he wanted something from him. "Help me."

While his words were vague and could have meant anything, the request he was making was clear. The state he was in was pitiful, shameful even.

But Constantine leaned away and took a step back.

"I don't think you're thinking clearly right now."

For some reason those words made him angry as he gripped his head feeling like he could barely stand on his own two feet. Constantine walked away from him putting distance between them, and Ari bumped into a table trying to chase after him.

He truly wasn't thinking clearly.

When Constantine didn't move from his spot as he tried to approach, Ari felt confident as he slowly made his way to him and found his fingers tangled in Constantine's shirt trying to pull him closer. "I am very much aware of what I am doing right now." Maybe it was a lie, maybe it was not. Even he didn't know at that moment. All he knew was that he was getting increasingly frustrated. "Can I please have something I want just once?"

There was silence for a few moments before Constantine took his hands off his shirt. "Won't lie, I am pretty tempted here, but you know what you're asking right?"

"Yes." Ari answered quickly, almost desperately.

He wasn't thinking clearly.

"There's no going back from this." Just like the first time they met, Constantine leaned down close enough for their foreheads to touch. This time it was different, less threatening but not less frightening. Ari was admittedly scared, but he was dying of anticipation. "Do I need to remind you of the kind of person I am?"

A killer. Ari was pretty much aware of that, and it was most of what he thought about whenever Constantine crossed his mind. If he were to be honest, even if he wasn't thinking clearly right now, he knew for certain that he might make the same choices he's making right now if he's sober. Ever since they met, Constantine barely left his mind.

It felt wrong, but he was all he could think of. Ari felt so guilty about it.

"Let me worry about regretting my own choices." A moment of weakness was all it took for his self-control to slip. His hands moved upwards pulling Constantine down for a kiss and he wasn't stopped this time.

Something unraveled inside of him as he felt himself relax into the kiss. Time has just stopped, and everything became meaningless. Ari found the serenity he had been chasing before and suddenly nothing mattered.

A sound left him as Constantine deepened the kiss with his movements more confident now like all he needed was Ari's permission to go further.

And further he went as Ari felt hands roam around his body exploring him.

There was not a single thought in his mind other than Constantine who had a hand hold Ari by the curve of his back, and the other was going dangerously low groping him, making an eager moan escape from his throat.

Ari's head was spinning, and his hands that were resting on Constantine's shoulders decided to trail their way from his neck down to his abdomen, and all Ari could think of was how he wanted more. It was probably the first time in his life that he let himself indulge his desires this far, but nobody would know about this except him.

So when he felt a finger hook itself on the waistband of his pants he didn't stop it, instead opting to aid it in taking off whatever unwanted layer that is between them.

When his lower part was finally free of any restrictions, he let out a surprised yelp when hands grabbed him by the thigh and heaved him up pressing his back onto the wall. Finding his feet up in the air like that startled him a bit, and he instinctively held on to Constantine fearing that he'd fall.

It almost sobered him up, but Constantine had decided to start kissing and nibbling on his neck making heat run through his body. It was maddening.

As lost as Ari was in everything, he still wasn't lost enough to not notice something press and prod his backside making him immediately tense up, frozen. As eager as he was seconds ago, the reality of the situation finally set in but it was already too late.

"Ah, shi-"

Anything he was about to say got choked up and all he could do was just hold on tightly feeling himself being spread apart when something invasive entered him. Gulping down the sounds coming out of him, he closed his now teary eyes and just braced himself for more.

It felt warm, and with the pain pleasure came in tow.

"You're trembling. You okay?"

No, Ari wasn't okay at all.

He didn't even know he was trembling, and he pushed himself away from Constantine and leaned back on the wall once more trapped between it and him. He couldn't speak properly, everything was hazy as his chest went up and down as he struggled to breathe, but he still managed to move and elevate himself slightly using Constantine's shoulder.

"You can move now." He said figuring out that they were already too far in to turn back now, and Constantine didn't need much more to keep going.

"You're adorable like this." Constantine's voice was close to his ear making shivers run all over his body as he fucked him against the wall where Ari could feel the friction on his back. It was so easy to just not think and let it all happen as he whined with every thrust until a certain spot in him was hit making his whole body clench and go taut feeling as if he was electrified. "There?"

Too shy to voice out his pleas of what he wanted; Ari buried his reddening face in Constantine's shoulder nodding his head. Without words needed, he was understood and his silent requests were obliged. With every thrust that hit that place, something built up inside him and he didn't need to think as he chased that feeling with zeal.

Everything felt warm all over, and a hand pulled him back and grabbed him by the chin so that he could be given a slow appreciative kiss.

It was a mystery to Ari how long they remained like that just lost in pleasure, and how much time he spent just clinging to Constantine letting him do as he pleased, but he soon found himself climbing off of him with his head clearing up like a spell broken.

Coldness was the first thing he felt as he silently picked up his discarded clothes.

Before anything happened, Ari had thought about the what ifs of this. The one thing he expected and braced himself for was the regret that came after gratification, and he did feel gratified. However, never had he ever thought about the longing that would follow.

It confused him.

Maybe Constantine didn't say anything because he was wary, or maybe he, too, thought that Ari would regret what had just happened. It was true that Ari wouldn't have normally done this and was drunk on all the pheromones he was exposed to, but even after he finished dressing himself, he still went back surprising them both as he gave Constantine one last kiss just because he could.

Constantine was greedy because he pulled him for another. "How about we meet up more like this instead?"

Ari's heart fluttered and if he had noticed the broken restrains behind them and their traces on Constantine's arms, he pretended not to as he looked away shyly.

"…I would like that."

This was wrong, he shouldn't have said or done that. It seemed like all what Ari was capable of doing was making the wrong choices, and that statement was only reinforced when he walked out of that room to see the body of a bleeding man next to his feet.

So that's what had fallen when he was pulled in…

To think that Constantine has just slept with him right after killing someone was a horrifying thought, and that's the moment regret had set in.

That's why he shouldn't have been so captivated by a killer. This was something that would never change, and one would think he'd realize this since someone died every time they met.

But denial was always easy, so he turned around and pretended to not have seen anything.